Help For 13 Year Old

[pipppy]

Arrgg dont know if its a problem with my daughter or the dog....well both really, I know she does all the wrong things with the dog, cuddles him to death, plays with him and can no longer discipline him. He jumps all over her, cirlcles her, nips her, all the bad things that he would never ever do with me, he is very well behaved for hubby and I and he guess he doesnt like being right at the bottom of the pack.

I have been trying to take daughter back to basics with the dog but as all girls of that age SHE KNOWS EVERYTHING She was excelent with him up until a few weeks ago and she is very soft in nature, i am not exactly sure why the change has taken place.

My question is am i making it worse by stepping in, as he stops his antics as soon as he sees me or hears me?(or should i ban her from any alone time with him until she actually listens to me and keep in mind this could be until she is through the i know everything stage in oh say another 10 years!)

No seriously I know exactly what she is doing wrong but cant get her to listen to me at the moment ( i am working on her and making progress slowly ) but i am really not sure if i am making it worse by running to her defense all the time.

[wheres my rock]

send her to dog school and let someone else help her that way its not you telling her what to do

[Nevafollo]

send her to dog school and let someone else help her that way its not you telling her what to do

not a bad idea but....it could go two ways.....i noticed a young girl the other day at dog training who had NOOOOOOOOOOO control over the dog she had...and her father wouldnt help her and she wouldnt LISTEN to the instructor.....i think it really depends WETHER your daughter can handle the dog if she can then great idea if not then you may have to find another solutions.....which i dont have

SORRY

[pipppy]

Well we are starting obedience training in Feb and she is deffinately comming along to that with us, she is excited about it, and she was handling him fine until recently, i think he is having a stage and so is she! I am hoping obedience training will help also.....but until then i guess i just keep running to her rescue ????

[Rusky]

send her to dog school and let someone else help her that way its not you telling her what to do

I think that is a fantastic idea, kids do listen to other people, make sure you back off and let her do it alone, don't stand near. watch from a distance. Ask the club which trainer would be best for a child, some don't take kids as handlers and could make the situation worse.

good luck.

[helen]

There is also a great book called Kids & Dogs by Ruth Weston & Dr. Catriona Ross that may be helpful. I know my local book store has it, if you can't get hold of a copy you could get one here - http://www.kintala.com.au/

There is also some great information here - http://www.k9events.com/dogsandkids.htm

Edited December 12, 2006 by helen

[wheres my rock]

billiam where are you if your in melb i may be able to help you out over chrissy

yes it can go both ways and its up to mum and dad to help out we have two kids train at our club ones dad is great he has hawk eyes and his daughter is also fantastic she works really hard and shes trianing a kangal the same size as her shes early teens

the other has issues parents leave her there and go off to trian their own dogs her dog is aggressive it as been discussed starting next year she'll be ding one one one until she gets more control and it will be insisted that one parent is there to supervise her

Edited December 12, 2006 by wheres my rock

[ReXy]

i have 4 kids.. my 12 year old trains one of the dogs,, he seems to listen to her more so than me... hes "her" dog.. he goes to her and listens to her the most..lol. but my stafford definatley listens to me more.. i do 95% of his training, i do get kids to do some, but its more for leadrership than anything. hes not rough at all with them,, doesnt play bite or anything hes very good with them... good luck.. i do know what u mean tho.. my almost 14 yp daughter doesnt listen either and thinks shes doing it all right..lol as does the husb sometimes.. hes worse.. for roughing them up and playing..

[Greytmate]

Another good book is 'Who's the Boss', by Val Bonney.

She is actually in quite a dangerous position. If she challenges this dog over something the dog really values, she may get bitten.

You might need to set boundaries with her and not allow unsupervised access to the dog until such time as she shows that she understands correct behaviour around the dog.

[Erny]

She is actually in quite a dangerous position. If she challenges this dog over something the dog really values, she may get bitten.

You might need to set boundaries with her and not allow unsupervised access to the dog until such time as she shows that she understands correct behaviour around the dog.

Ditto what Greytmate said. And the sad part is, if the dog bites it is the one who usually pays dearly for it. I'm not suggesting it is an easy thing (especially around the age your daughter is ..... I remember becoming a little 'rebellious' around those years too) but setting guidelines for kids is just as important as it is for dogs. In fact, I think part of the reason both have periods where they 'test' you is because they WANT and NEED (albeit sub-consciously) you to show yourself/prove yourself as the capable leader that you are.

Edited December 13, 2006 by Erny

[pipppy]

Wheres my rock...thanks for the offer but sadly I am in NSW.

I think daughter will benefit from training with the dog, i am sure she will listen there, its only me she doesnt listen to. LOL

An example of her i know everything attitude was the other day the two of us took him for a walk, hubby and i have been working hard with him to improve his manners when walking and have had great success, but as soon as she had him she was letting him stop and sniff everything, and he was pulling, when i made a few suggestions to her about controling him it all ended in tears with her stomping back off home in a huff, needless to say she has not been out walking with him again, oh and the neighbours thought it was a great show!!!!! I have to laugh about it now but it is an indication of her not wanting to listen.

Thanks for the book tips i will investigate those suggestions further.

It is true that the dog and the daughter are both looking for leadership, she is the baby of our 3 daughters so I know all about teenagers looking for boundries to be set but not wanting to stick to them!

I am concerned that the pup will go too far with her, although he has never shown any aggression just nipping, but as this is all new to us i am keen to get things under control and get things back on track with the dog and the daughter. As I said he is generally quite well behaved, although he is very strong headed and does need a firm hand.

I will let you all know if i have any luck getting her to toughen up with him and take control in an appropriate manner between now and when we start formal training in feb.......wish me luck and thanks for all your advice and suggestions.

[sas]

I'm not sure if I'm interpreting this the wrong way, but it sounds like she's getting upset because you're telling her how to handle the dog when she thinks she's doing what she's meant to be doing "being nice to the dog and letting it have some freedom".

Have you tried to explain the reason why dogs need to walk on heel? i.e. dogs need to be part of a stable pack and know their place and being consistent with a dog allows the dog to happy & comfortable in its' environment, by walking the dog to heel you're showing the dog you're the pack leader and you're to be trusted with all the decisions so the dog doesn't need to feel as though it needs to make the decisions which will either be Flight, Freeze or Fight.....and on a lead a dog doesn't have much of an option to flight and freeze isn't going to work in most situations.

If she likes to read, there are some great books that are easy reads and really interesting.

Edited December 14, 2006 by sas

[pipppy]

I'm not sure if I'm interpreting this the wrong way, but it sounds like she's getting upset because you're telling her how to handle the dog when she thinks she's doing what she's meant to be doing "being nice to the dog and letting it have some freedom".

Have you tried to explain the reason why dogs need to walk on heel? i.e. dogs need to be part of a stable pack and know their place and being consistent with a dog allows the dog to happy & comfortable in its' environment, by walking the dog to heel you're showing the dog you're the pack leader and you're to be trusted with all the decisions so the dog doesn't need to feel as though it needs to make the decisions which will either be Flight, Freeze or Fight.....and on a lead a dog doesn't have much of an option to flight and freeze isn't going to work in most situations.

If she likes to read, there are some great books that are easy reads and really interesting.

Hi Sas, yes your 1st parragraph sums up the situation nicely, and on top of that when she does try to do the right thing and it doesnt work the first time she gets frustrated and says she just cant do it.

We have definatley explained the importance of being the leader to the dog, i actualy asked our oldest daughter to read the chapter in the dog whisperer on walking and the improtance of doing it right as she walks the dog a bit. I think Jess would be a bit lost with that style of book though so i am going to see what i can find around that might be more suitable for her to read.

I came home today and our middle daughter aged 15 had spent the whole day with billy inside and she said she had no trouble with him, (apart from the usual puppy hijinx which she handled fine.) I really think a big part of it is the dog not wanting to be the bottom of the pack, he is strong headed and Jess (13yr old) is quite a softy.

[sas]

Kids are probably the hardest to teach in my opinion, I think even as an adult it's hard to grasp the concept because as humans we're emotinal beings and we want to love and touch and make dogs happy.

[Kelpie-i]

Aaaah yes, kids and dogs.....what a lovely combination!!

I see many young teenagers who bring their dog to trianing, some do an excellent job and others...well, they certainly try - but that's the main thing!

I would certainly encourage your daughter to attend obedience classes with the dog but most importantly sort out their ranking in the meantime. A good start is the NILIF program (Nothing In Life Is Free). You can find all the info on this by googling the word NILIF.

An easy program that, if adhered to, can prevent and/or assist with leadership issues.

[MissMonaro]

I recommend obedience training for both dog and child.

My daughter was itching to start when she turned 12 (age limit to start at my club). I had already started her pup for her. She took that dog through to class 4. She has also just taken another dog through to class 4 as well. She has just started obedience with our mini bull terrier and has done okay there for only 1 outing at obedience......but now she is about to start on the newest recruit.

She's going to be 10 times the handler I'll ever be if she keeps it up. (which I do hope)

She doesnt listen to me at all......knows it all. She's now 14 1/2. I try to butt out as much as I can (very hard to bite tongue at times). She also goes to show handling classes and gets lessons from some show friends - and its better coming from them than me, as she tends to listen to them (most of the time )