feher Posted October 28, 2006 Share Posted October 28, 2006 Last night, when I got home from work, I found my dogs had decided to play with my kitten... Not a scratch on him, not a bruise not a mark... But inside... All his ribs were shattered, his chest was ruptured, and he was drowning.... They only wanted to play, they are not vicious girls... They don't even know what they have done.. I feel like a horrible mummy, cos I can't even look at them, and I know it isn't really their fault... They just wanted to play I held little Cracker in my arms while the vet searched for vein, but this only made him cry, as all his veins had sunken due to the shock.. We had to put him under the aenasthetic gas to calm him enough for his trip to the bridge, which he fought... He just didn't want to go He cried and clung to me... He finally went to sleep, and he was then given the dose of aenasthetic straight into his heart... ;) I kissed him as he went to sleep one last time.. I feel like I should have done more, should have tried surgery... I feel like I killed my little man... How can I look at my girls now? I just can't do it... I love them so much, and I just can't look at them now... I feel like such a bad mummy........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Golden Girl Posted October 28, 2006 Share Posted October 28, 2006 Oh darlin!! ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((feher))))))))))) )))))))))))))))))))))))))))) You are NOT a bad mummy!! We lost our little loved one and I remember holding her in my arms, not wanting to let her go either. I grieve with you, lovey. GG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Golden Girl Posted October 28, 2006 Share Posted October 28, 2006 Also, I'm sure your dogs had NO idea that they were even hurting your darling kitty. You might need some time to work out your grief, but loves don't blame them or hate them. Remember they were loved by you before your kitty, and whilst that won't lessen your grief, it will refocus your heart to where it was when you first met and fell inlove with them. Love always GG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feher Posted October 28, 2006 Author Share Posted October 28, 2006 I signed my babies life away... I can't even look at myself.. I know it was the best thing for him.. But he fought so hard, he didn't want to leave... I feel like I failed him... And I feel disgusted with myself for not being able to even look at my girls! They love the cats, and never had a problem.... I feel like a massive f*ck up... I love my girls, I do, my head tells me they didn't know, my head tells me they didn't mean it, and my head also tells me they are not bad... My HEAD tells me to forgive them and love them... My heart is breaking I know if they WANTED to hurt him, he would have been in a million tiny pieces.. My head tells me this, my head tells me they were playing and don't understand... But my heart doesn't understand why... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tramissa Posted October 28, 2006 Share Posted October 28, 2006 I'm so sorry Feher Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trisven13 Posted October 28, 2006 Share Posted October 28, 2006 Oh Feher - I know EXACTLY how you feel!! And I'm feeling it right alongside you this week. As you may have read my guys had an altercation this week and Bart, my baby, my heart-dog, the best dog I've ever owned, was too rough with my 8 year old Min Pin and he has now lost an eye. I'm sure Bart isn't a nasty dog, Tigger doesn't have another mark on him, but I too can't look at him the same way I did on Tuesday night..... I'm now constantly worried about every little sound I hear in the backyard, every minor "pack" noise, in case Bart is being too rough, or dominant or just plain mean. Its a horrible feeling and one I hope we both get past very very soon. Thinking of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jejuna Posted October 28, 2006 Share Posted October 28, 2006 Feher, I read this when you first put it up and I couldn't reply, I was too much. I hope you feel better about this soon. I'm sure your babies weren't being mean and were probably just trying to "rough house" it with Cracker as they would do with each other. Unfortunately, with Cracker being smaller and 'softer' the damage has been done. for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feher Posted October 29, 2006 Author Share Posted October 29, 2006 Thank you guys... I am talking to and grooming my girls, filled up their pool for them and gave them some cuddles... I do love them. But I still just can't look at them the same... They were MY BABY girls, my angels... I feel stupid, but I wonder, how could my beautiful girls do this? I know they don't understand, but I want them to so badly... I want them to know how much they have hurt me... And I know they never will... I just wonder if I will ever be able to look at them the same again... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
my_sibe_owns_me Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 Thank you guys... I am talking to and grooming my girls, filled up their pool for them and gave them some cuddles... I do love them. But I still just can't look at them the same... They were MY BABY girls, my angels... I feel stupid, but I wonder, how could my beautiful girls do this? I know they don't understand, but I want them to so badly... I want them to know how much they have hurt me... And I know they never will... I just wonder if I will ever be able to look at them the same again... First off id like to say how sorry I am for your lost. You did the right thing for your little boy...he was scared and wanted his mum and you where heart broken and scared but you where brave and stayd right there for him..its all you could have done.... Your girls will always be your baby girls. Just remember what they can do during paly and take a few steps ahead to prevent anything from happening again its like the saying 'better safe than sorry' it will offer you peace of mind. They know how you feel...they can smell and sence how hurt you are. Im sure if they where doing it out of anything other than play it would have been MUCH worse... Just give it some time and it will become easer to love them just as much as you did before. Once again I am truely sorry for your loss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dust Angel Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 (edited) Oh Feher i am so sorry for your Tragedy words can never dull the pain. Its with tears in my eyes i offer you my heartful sympathy and know that my thoughts are with you. We all try to make sense of tradgedy and it helps when you have something tangible to blame something to be angry at, but when it is accident there is no where for the emotion to go. You know how much you love your girls and already you know that they do not understand, they know your hurting and they dont understand why. Give yourself time to grieve time to say goodbye, you did the right thing by your dear little boy and one day soon the sun will shine for you again. Untill then my thoughts and best wishes are with you. Edited October 29, 2006 by Dust Angel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Clover Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 Poor bub, rest easy little one . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feher Posted October 29, 2006 Author Share Posted October 29, 2006 Now forever sleeping... This was my little Cracker... I didn't even get any recent photos of him... But he looks just like his mother... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blacklabrador Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 So sorry to hear that Feher. I think time will heal the relationship between you and your dogs. *hugs* to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bini Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 I am soooo very sorry to hear what has happened I understand how horrible you must feel, we often blame ourselves, but no one is to blame and you did what you could RIP little one My thoughts are with you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perry's Mum Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 Feher it was a horrible accident - nobody was to blame, not you and not the dogs. Forgive them and yourself and let her go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dogdogdog Posted November 2, 2006 Share Posted November 2, 2006 I am sorry that this had to happen to you. I say as the others have said it was just a bloody awful accident. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tybrax Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 R.I.P. little one. Sending heaps of your way. tybrax Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paola Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 im very sorry!!!!...RIP sweet babie!!!! :D ,paola. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
O-Ren Posted November 4, 2006 Share Posted November 4, 2006 awww im reading this your Cracker looks like the twin of my Bal :rainbow RIP lil man your not a bad mummy youre a merciful loving human companion to animals and u will see thu this and forgive your girls, just let yourself grieve a while there is noone to blame in all this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now