Any Tips To Make This A Little Easier

[minicooper]

I am normally a very private person, and if I am in pain I prefer to 'suffer' privately, but I think I will need support.

It has been very difficult for me to admit to myself, let alone publicly, that each day I have with my beloved Cooper (15 year old L/H Mini Dachshund) is a bonus. He is fading quickly, and I am beginning to feel that the end is near.

He has been on medication for Congestive Heart Failure for about 3 years now, and the medications were recently increased to cope with his deteriorating health. He has always been a good eater, but lately he has been refusing his food more often, and when I pat him I can feel his bones

He often gets distressed as though he doesn't know where he is. I look into his eyes and they are so cloudy I wonder if he can even see me.

I have decided that I am not going to worry too much about food that is 'good' for him, he can have what ever he will eat, and try and keep him as comfortable as possible.

All I am hoping and praying for now is that he goes to the Bridge peacefully on his own, so I don't have to make that awful decision.

How have others coped when faced with the inevitable?

Pauline

[dogbesotted]

Pauline,

I know your pain. These special souls are with us for such a short time. I had to help two of my elderly dogs to The Bridge last year and it is the hardest thing to do. I knew it was time but that really does not help the heart.

Cooper will let you know when he is ready...I cant tell you how but you will know.

My Jake had dilated cardiomyopathy and I was very afraid that he would suffer greatly. In just a few short weeks he went from a vibrant 12 year old to a tottering frail shadow of his former self. Giving hi his meds was a trial for him and he did not want to eat. When he would hardly acknowledge my presence because it took so much effort I knew it was time. His peripheral circulation was deteriorating and his paws and ears felt very cold...

Just recently I came across some words of wisdom that I feel may be appropriate here:

"""Death isn't losing the game. Death is unavoidable; it's a part of life. If you make death a

safe, loving, comfortable experience, then you've won the game."

-- Dr. Eric Clough, VMD, Hospice Care for Pets

sending you plenty of prayers for strength and peace with whatever decisions you make.

Sending Cooper prayers for a peacefull crossing when the time is right for him.

Remember Cooper has lived his life surrounded by your love and care and he will cross to the next surrounded by your love and car.

Hugs

Helen

[Kelly_Louise]

Hi Pauline,

I'm really sorry to hear this news. It must be heart breaking. I don't think there is anything that makes it easier. However, when you look at your little one and know that there is only suffering and unhappiness left, it forces you to make a decision. I guess knowing that you are doing the right thing for your little one makes it easier to make the decision. I know that I will be devastated when that time comes for my girl, however I also know that we have given her a very good life, and I would want it to end when it held no pleasure for her anymore. Although, I doubt it would make the action any more bearable.

I guess that the key is to know that Cooper has had a great life with you. He has been happy and loved, more than many other dogs get to experience. When the time comes, he will not be sad, he will be happy that he's had such a great life with you and will be thankful to be released from any illness he is suffering. Think of all the good things he has had in his life and try not to concentrate on 'the end'. He will always live in your heart (at the risk of sounding like a cliche), but it's true.

I also agree with you that at his age, as long as certain foods do not put his health in dire jeopardy... feed him what he likes to eat. Allow him this treat to encourage him to eat and to also make life more pleasant.

As you love Cooper so much, I have no doubt that you will know when the time is right. To me, it's in their eyes. But it's different for all people I guess. But you will know when it's time, even though you won't want it to be.

I hope I have helped in some way. Like I said before, I don't think there is any way to take away the pain of such a situation... but we all must go through it. Our friends can't live forever, so I guess it's just up to us to do the right thing for them, no matter how hard it is for us.

Best wishes to you.

[ShesaLikeableBiBear]

Hi Pauline

I hope that he will go peacefully and that you dont have to make that decision as it is the most terrible one to have to do, but if it happens that way then I hope that these will help you.

A Living Love

If you ever love an animal, there are three days in your life you will

always remember....

The first is a day, blessed with happiness, when you bring home your

young new friend.

You may have spent weeks deciding on a breed. You may have asked

numerous opinions of many vets, or done long research in finding a

breeder. Or, perhaps in a fleeting moment, you may have just chosen

that silly looking mutt in a shelter--simply because something in its

eyes reached your heart. But when you bring that chosen pet home, and

watch it explore, and claim its special place in your hall or front

room--and when you feel it brush against you for the first time--it

instills a feeling of pure love you will carry with you through the

many years to come.

The second day will occur eight or nine or ten years later.

It will be a day like any other.

Routine and unexceptional. But, for a surprising instant, you will

look at your longtime friend and see age where you once saw youth. You

will see slow deliberate steps where you once saw energy. And you will

see sleep when you once saw activity. So you will begin to adjust your

friend's diet--and you may add a pill or two to her food. And you may

feel a growing fear deep within yourself, which bodes of a coming

emptiness. And you will feel this uneasy feeling, on and off, until

the third day finally arrives.

And on this day--if your friend and God have not decided for you, then

you will be faced with making a decision of your own--on behalf of

your lifelong friend, and with the guidance of your own deepest

Spirit. But whichever way your friend eventually leaves you--you will

feel as alone as a single star in the dark night.

If you are wise, you will let the tears flow as freely and as often as

they must. And if you are typical, you will find that not many in your

circle of family or friends will be able to understand your grief, or

comfort you.

But if you are true to the love of the pet you cherished through the

many joy-filled years, you may find that a soul--a bit smaller in size

than your own--seems to walk with you, at times, during the lonely

days to come.

And at moments when you least expect anything out of the ordinary to

happen, you may feel something brush against your leg--very very

lightly.

And looking down at the place where your dear, perhaps dearest, friend

used to lay--you will remember those three significant days. The

memory will most likely to be painful, and leave an ache in your

heart--As time passes the ache will come and go as if it has a life of

its own.

You will both reject it and embrace it, and it may confuse you. If you

reject it, it will depress you. If you embrace it, it will deepen you.

Either way, it will still be an ache.

But there will be, I assure you, a fourth day when--along with the

memory of your pet--and piercing through the heaviness in your

heart--there will come a realization that belongs only to you. It will

be as unique and strong as our relationship with each animal we have

loved, and lost. This realization takes the form of a Living

Love--like the heavenly scent of a rose that remains after the petals

have wilted, this Love will remain and grow--and be there for us to

remember. It is a love we have earned. It is the legacy our pets leave

us when they go. And it is a gift we may keep with us as long as we

live. It is a Love which is ours alone. And until we ourselves leave,

perhaps to join our Beloved Pets--it is a Love we will always possess.

(by Martin Scot Kosins)

If it should be…

If it be I grow frail and weak,

And pain should keep me from my sleep,

Then you must do what should be done,

For this last battle can’t be won.

You will be sad—I understand

Don’t let your grief then stay your hand.

For this day, more than all the rest,

Your love and friendship stand the test.

We’ve had so many happy years,

What is to come will hold no fears.

You’d not want me to suffer…so

When the time comes, please let me go.

Take me where all my needs they’ll tend,

But stay with me until the end.

And hold me firm and speak to me

Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time you too will see,

It is a kindness you do to me.

Although my tail its last has waved,

From pain and suffering I’ve been saved.

Do not grieve that it should be you

Who must decide this thing to do.

We’ve been so close-we two-these years,

Don't let your heart hold any tears.

Author Unknowno

Edited June 5, 2006 by Hesapandabear

[Tassie]

Sorry to hear you're facing this very sad time, Pauline. It's a burden you can really only share with other dog lovers - non-dog people don't really get it.

Others have given you wise words. A couple of extra thoughts from another forum I hang out on. There's a vet on there who in discussing this topic when she was facing such a decision for one of her own dogs, said something like she'd never seen owners who felt they had ended their dog's life too soon - but she had seen people who felt they had left it too long. If you need to make the decision for Cooper, you need to know that it will always be too soon for you, but it's important that it's not too long for him.

And anothet nice thought: Don't cry because it's over - smile because it happened. Like all our beloved friends who have passed, Cooper will always be with you in your memory.

There are many people here who know what you're going through and can at least offer a kind ear.

[shoemonster]

And anothet nice thought: Don't cry because it's over - smile because it happened.

I like this thought!

You will still cry, but let them be happy tears over what you had together

[Keen]

This is no. 10 in the Dog Owners Ten Commandments;

10 Go with me on difficult journeys. Never say I can't bear to watch it or let it happen in your absence. Everything is easier for me if you are there.

My thoughts are with you.

[Ons]

Dear Pauline

I'm sitting here with tears because I had to make this very difficult decision for my beloved maltese now 2 months ago. She too had heart failure with a very enlarged heart and also a mast cell tumour on her nose.

Choosing what time for her to go to Rainbow Bridge was so so difficult and I had to put her to sleep because I believe in quality not quantity of life. She may have survived a little bit longer but on much heavier medication and she reacted badly to medication. My aunt once said to me she always regrets keeping her cattle dog a week longer than she did because the dog was in pain and did not enjoy the last week and I always kept that in mind. Daisy also was stressed and was panting and not eating, in her own way she was telling me it was time for her to go. I felt so awful particularly as I had ordered a new puppy to bond with my other dog prior to Daisy going to make it easier for him a bit and the new puppy was arriving only 5 days after I had to put Daisy to sleep and I didn't want people thinking that I only put Daisy to sleep because of the new puppy, that was furtherest from the truth, in fact Daisy was such an awesome puppy bringer up I wanted her around.

Back on topic - So with memories of happy times and the joy that Cooper has brought to your life he will let you know when he has had enough of life, and it may be you may have to help him make that decision but I think as an animal lover you will know

lots of hugs to you and Cooper

Joanne

[Staff'n'Toller]

All I am hoping and praying for now is that he goes to the Bridge peacefully on his own, so I don't have to make that awful decision.

Sadly alot of dogs with CHF need to be put to sleep when the time is right. Often we are keeping them alive with the medications.

Although you are faced with a difficult decision, deciding to euthanase is much less difficult than watching your dog drown- which is essentially what happens- I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

A good rule of thumb is to count how many good days your dog has in a week, and how many bad days, when there are more bad days than good- then quality of life is questionable.

Please make the decision when the time is right for you and your dog- it's the kindest thing you will ever do for Cooper!

Mel.

[rugerfly]

what an awful time for you. My honest oppinion, dont make your little mate wait for you. Big hugs to you both.

[Rom]

18 months ago I had to make this decision for a lovely big gentleman of a boy. He had cancer of the larynx and was not young enough to take treatments and medications well. We decided with our vet, that so long as he was not in pain or suffering that we would just let him be. It only took a short while before he started to have difficulty swallowing, so we made sure he only had soft moist food and we were all happy for a while. Then coming up into the warmer weather, I noticed that when he was panting, his tongue was hanging out, but he was unable to draw his breath through his mouth and over his tongue for the cooling effect....He was trying to pant by breathing in and out of his nose. In all other respects he was still happy and reasonably active for his age...but I just felt that as the weather warmed, his quality of life would start to suffer.

I had all those stories about near death experiences going through my mind....you know, how as the spirit left the body and was looking back it could see all that was happening around the body.....I wanted more than anything else for my boy when he was looking back that he would see me holding him and loving him. So for me, there was no other way than to have it all happen in an arranged time and place, rather than him slip away in the night.

Funny thing is...I think he knew that I had made the decision and the appointment. He became more attentive to me, possibly because he sensed that I was already feeling deep grief, but there was a strange gentle and accepting quality about the whole thing. As we were driving to the vet, where once he would have slept the journey away, he sat with his head on my shoulder. Then at the vet surgery instead of bouncing around to say hello to everyone as was his custom, he sat quietly with me with his big paw on my knee.

I've got to tell you that it was the most easy and peaceful way I could have chosen for him to go. I cannot describe what an honour it was to feel the last beat of that gallant great heart on my chest as I held him, and as he relaxed how much easier his breaths seemed to come before they quietly faded away.

I don't envy anyone who is put in the position to have to make this decision...its never an easy one. But to feel that absolute connection of trust and faith that that big boy put in me as his earthly life ended has convinced me that I did the right thing. Doesn't mean that I didn't feel grief because I cried buckets....and still do to this day. But I also feel that my relationship with my big boy somehow has a more lasting quality.

Be in peace, Pauline. Your decision either way will not be easy on you. But I hope that my story can help give you courage should you decide to take the path that I did.

Thinking of you.

[Scarlet]

I do think that you have to be guided by your vet

Yes I'm sitting here quietly crying for my friend who was pts at 16 yrs (20 years ago). You will never forget but know that their part in your life has made you a better person.

My dog had never really liked the vet surgery so my vet did a house visit. I'm pleased I did it that way.

[swain]

Pauline,

This is such a heart breaking time for you..... a few months ago my little pom was diagnosed with liver disease. I was told that he might go down hill really quickly or it could take 6 - 12 months. I was struggling with the situation/decision when suddenly it was taken out of my hands. He passed away extremely quickly in an unrelated incident.

I am now at the stage that i can remember him fondly without being extremely distraught. You never forget them but it does get a little easier to accept. I'll still have a bit of a cry sometimes but i mainly look back at all the fun we had and smile to myself or my husband will remember something and we'll share a laugh together. As hard as owning pets is when it comes to this time in their life, i wouldn't trade it for the world.

I hope that you can enjoy the remaining time that you have with Cooper. He sounds like he has been a great friend to you! I also hope that both of your pain is short lived.

Thinking of you both

[minicooper]

Thanks for all the replies, it makes it a little easier to know I am not alone.

I had a sad update today. The vet said that Cooper has had a stroke :rolleyes:

He is not in any pain, just in his own little world. We will take each day as it comes for now.

[InspectorRex]

Pauline, it sounds like Copper's time is near. Cherish every moment you have with him.

Since 2003 I have lost my 14yo Rough Collie, then my Mum with Cancer, then had to pts a 9mth old pup with genetic defects in 2004, then 15 July 2005 I lost my beautiful Champion Rough Collie at age 7.5 years ti Inflammatory Bowel Diseas( Yes I had to make the awful decsion yet again) and then Nove 2005 the aged Rescue Collie we adopted had to be pts after only 3 precious months with Dad and I and "Phoebe"( my avatar girl) as he had been so neglected in the past his body was tired and yet again I had to make the decision we all dread, yet again :rolleyes:

The comforting thing is that with animals we can assist them on their Journey to the Rainbow Bridge yet nursing my Mum with terminal Cancer I fet helpless as there was nothing I could do to assist her on her Journey

Big hugs to you sweetie

Edited June 7, 2006 by InspectorRex

[minicooper]

Cooper was not good this morning, not eating or drinking, and his feet were cold, despite being in front of the heater all night.

My dearly beloved Cooper crossed the bridge at about 12.45pm today. The vet was booked to come around at 1.00pm and my husband was coming home from work to be here. Steve came in an patted Cooper, who was laying on the lounge. A few minutes later, we looked and realised that Cooper was no longer breathing. Maybe he waited for his Dad to come home, and then he gave us the best gift he could have - taking that awful decision away from us.

Run free at the bridge my boy, no diets there and you will never be cold again.

Until we meet again.......

Pauline

[ShesaLikeableBiBear]

Pauline

Am so very very sorry to hear about Cooper, as you say though he went peacefully and you did not have to make that final decision.

R.I.P. Cooper

[Kelly_Louise]

Pauline, I'm so sorry to hear of Cooper's passing, even I have a few tears. But he is in a happy place now free of any pain and discomfort forever. I am sure that he held on to say his goodbyes to his loved ones who have loved and cared for him over the long years.

He is now at peace. Be happy little Cooper.

[malleerr]

I am so sorry Pauline to hear of poor little Cooper' s passing - i have not posted here before but have read this thread several times. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Run free little man - rest in peace

[shoemonster]

I'm so sorry

He went with you both loving him and he will always have you both loving him