About A Boy

[Labsmum]

I am having such huge trouble getting over Maya's departure. It was the 1st of June, he was a 15 year old ladbrador retriever. I've been crying ever since. I have gone quite mental in fact. I am not getting over him. My girl labradors need the help. I still feed them but now it is late in the day when they get fed. Oh crickey, I nearly scared someone off the forum today, my ego got a bit bruised by this kid telling me to take my barbie doll somewhere else. I am just missing my boy so much. Why did this boy dog get in to my heart?

About a boy? Gender opinions please. There is something about a boy dog.

Am I nuts?

[InspectorRex]

No you are not "nuts". you are just still grieving. I still miss my male Collie that I lost 2 yrs ago. You male dog got into your heart because he loved you and you loved him. Just takes things easy.

Having just lost Maggie yesterday I bloody know what you are going through.

Thank God we have this forum to go onto and share our grief.

Have a good bloody cry and don't keep it in, otherwise you will get sick.

Who care's if I am crying doing the shopping today- it is winter and all I kept getting asked was " do you have the flu too?"

[Fido]

Oh Katey, you are quite normal, just suffering from profound grief at the loss of your special friend. It is so painful, especially when they are close to you. I lost my dearly loved Jessie just a few months ago. I miss her so....there was a special bond there, just as you had with your boy.

Tears are an important release for grief. You are not alone.....I believe there is a special grief counselling service for those who have lost animals, so it shows that lots of people suffer like you are now.

Maybe try and re-direct some attention to your other dogs.....given the opportunity they may respond with extra love to help fill the void.

Take care, Fido.

[love-my-dog]

(((( Katey )))))

No your not nuts.

Your grieving deeply for your boy.

Maya was pretty special wasn't he?

So open up the flood gates and cry, cry, cry.

When I had to finally send my Boy to the bridge I nearly destroyed myself with grief.

As Fido said their is dedicated pet grief counselling available in Melb. if you need it.

And your girls.

Let them help you through this painful time.

You know they are trying to be strong for you, (It really is just an act) -- they will be missing him just as much as you do.

Sit down with them, have a cuddle and a cry together for your departed friend.

It will help both you and the girls.

[BubbleGirl]

The reason we so easily invest emotionally in our four legged family members is because they never mortally wound our hearts through out their entire life. People will destroy other people for their own selfish reasons, some take great pleasure in causing others pain and heartache.

Our fur kids are loyal, always happy to see you and give insurmountable love. They seek only to please and bring joy never heartbreak or pain. You had 15 years of loyalty, happiness, love and joy so of course the pain you are suffering at the moment is inconsolable and unbearable.

The only time our fur kids mortally wound our hearts is when they depart for the bridge and they break off a tiny bit of our heart and take it with them.

I truly believe our hearts will never be whole again until that fateful day when we are reunited with them.

God was incredibly cruel when he made their life span so much sorter than ours.

You have to grieve honey and it could take a very long time.

Love

Riles

Edited July 17, 2005 by Riley

[Flat Black]

Absolutely there's something about boy dogs!!! Maybe it's their goofy nature or the way they wait at the gate all day for you, whilst the girl runs around doing doggy stuff. One day I crept in to find both boys asleep, pressed against the gate, waiting for mummy, whilst the girl was in the garden playing.

Boy dogs certainly do have a special sort of mind control over us. I don't think we ever get over the loss of ones so dear to us.

Give your two beautiful labs a big cuddle - they will understand.

[Divine Angel]

Sweetie, please know I am sending you hugs and many blessings.

Hold a little service for Maya. Light a candle and think of him. He's still there with you, in spirit. He's happy and healthy and playing with all of our furbabies on the Bridge.

Love and blessings through this difficult time,

R

[Carrathool]

CRY, cry all you need too he was a very special friend indeed! ;)

Hug your two girls for him

Play with them for him

and CRY FOR HIM!

YOU ARE NOT MENTAL!!!

[TangerineDream]

Boys seem to make more of a connection I agree, and when you meet that special dog that becomes your alterego, it's so hard to let such a large part of your life, and your psyche go....it takes ages, you continue to question things that you did, that he did....and wonder why it all had to happen that way.

I found that writing my beloved Cadence a letter to be really healing...it's just a collection of significant memories (mostly happy ones), and I add to it when I feel the need...and it's cathartic, but it also lets me re-establish the special connection that we had..... only people who have experienced what you are going through will understand what you are feeling....and there are a lot of us here.

Keep writing and sharing your feelings - it's the most helpful thing that you can do, besides crying when you need to.....sit with the girls, have some quiet time with them, they will understand your sorrow and be supportive of you....

[collie angel]

I don't think its a gender thing its just that that dog opened up your heart and loved you just as much as you loved him, i have the same feeling about a male burmese cat i lost a few years ago i still cry if i think about it or look at photo's of him when i found out he was hit by a car (someone had let him out when he was a house cat) i keep thinking why Cadbury why couldnt it of been the other cat , even though i loved my cats cadbury just had me wraped around his paw and i feel so mean thinking it let alone saying it out loud......i now have two cats and both male who i love very dearly and make sure i spend time with both, they have helped heal in why do we fall so hard for our pets!!! and why does it hurt so much when we lose them?

nicky

[Labsmum]

Crikey, now it's more than 3 months but I'm crying about Maya again tonight. His collar sits on my little low round table. The protea is all I have, it is from a bunch that my friend Sarah brought me when he died. I kept one and made a little alter for him in the place where he used to like to lay. His spot. I looked at it and thought about how they were both living at the same time. I wondered where he was and what state his bod might be in. I'd give anything to be able to put my arms around him and give him a big cuddle and a kiss on the forehead like I used to.

I'm looking after the girls better now and don't think gender matters. I was just biased and loopy over Maya dieing. They are all dogs and dogs are grouse. I've got two other yellow labradors, a mother and daughter. I'm not doing very well with the training and they are somewhat unruelly. The young one still jumps up on me etc. But it is interesting to watch that when the pup (being now 2years old!) upsets me the mum steps in and disciplines her.

My heart is all over the place after loosing Maya. I've had a runny nose ever since as though I am constantly crying inside if not outside.

Maya was unruelly until he was about 6 years old, then he became the best behaved dog without much need for training.

All I can say to finish this post is I was always kind to him. Thanks for reading if you read this post. It's a love story. I love him so very much. And now he is gone somewhere else.

[Titan]

I still cry after my G/parents dog Dylan died. I grew up with him, and he was a german shepard x labrador and he was beautiful, fantastic temperament. When I was younger I used to sit outside and just chat to him. He was a real help through growing up.

So cry for him if it helps

Jade

[Labsmum]

I made a new friend recently who is selling her house. The hardest thing for her leaving is her old lab Zoe is buried there in the back yard. I took her a photo of Maya to show her and she pulled out one of Zoe, it was amazing, they looked so similar in their old condition, one could think they were related! My friend has two of Zoe's daughters, now both 13 years old (and beautiful natured dogs). I now know the support she is going to need when their time comes.

Now matter what you read or theorise, one never knows someone elses experience unless you've been there too? Therefore, thanks to the kind folk who have shared with me on Rainbow Bridge. It does help! ...lots

[InspectorRex]

You are nver alone here Katey.I still cry for my GSD x Collie that we had to PTS (Cancer) the day that Princess Diana was buried.I only have to hear Elton John's song"Candle in the Wind" and I cry as that was the song played the day Bonnie died and Diana was Buried.

Our dogs are special to us because they love us unconditionally and we love them in return.

[Jimmy_James]

Our beautiful boys are so special to us Katey. We miss them always and they can never, ever, ever be replaced by another in our hearts. It took over a year after I lost my beautiful big boy, Spud the Old English, to let another doggy into our lives. Each is special in their own way, but some touch your heart and leave pawprints there forever.

It's so normal to miss them, shed tears and feel quite nuts while doing so even many months after you lose them. It helps so much to give your other furry babies a big smooch and a hug when you're feeling down - they don't mind if you leave soggy bits on their fur Just think of all the doggy lovers out there on DOL sending you warmest wishes.

Anna

[ricey]

Hi Katey

there is nothing wrong with you; you just loved your dog. That is a good thing

I'm thinking that you are normal, and everyone else has a problem

cheers,

Peter D

[Ryn]

Hi Katey, Having gone thru the same grief, and still going through it, I feel for you.

But can I suggest the best way around it is to get another older male dog, a needy affectionate dog, who won't replace your lost pet, but will worm his way into your heart as well. I got a wolfhound cross before I felt ready, and he is so needy and affectionate there is no way I can not respond to him. It's not disloyal to my other lost dog, I've just made room for another one.

I know you thought of getting a dog needing a home from interstate but you are probably betting going to Save a Dog, Aaps and Blue Cross and seeing and petting the dogs there There will be one that comes and sticks his head under your arm and looks at you and you will know he is the right dog. And if the right one is not there on the day one will turn up soon.

Good luck. We all go through the loss because their lives are so short compared to ours.

This is a poem that was at my vet's office that was written by Irving Townsend in memory of his greyhound 'Sheba'.

"We who choose to surround ourselves

With lives even more

Temporary than our own

Live within a fragile circle

Easily and often breached.

Unable to accept its awful gaps,

We still would live no other way."

Irving Townsend

[Labsmum]

Thanks Ryn and for the very sweet poem. I know what you mean about getting an older dog again. I have to be realistic at the moment because I already have two (still unruelly) female labradors. I got the first one (Bella) to be a pal for the old boy but it never worked because he was too old at 12 to accept a young & enthusiastic puppy. I had to keep them seperated because although not usually viscious he bit her. He let me know from the beginning he was not going to accept her and that was that.

I also got her because I knew how hard it was going to be when parting time came for Maya.....yet, in hindsight, it made no difference at all. No lessening of grief.

Edited September 24, 2005 by Katey

[dogbesotted]

Ah Katey,

consider yourself hugged

the other dogs give you a reason to keep getting up each day, the grief only becomes more bearable over time.

In July I was so gratefull to have all my maremmas as after The Divine Miss Sophie and Beloved Jake crossed to The Bridge, I dont think I would have survivedotherwise.

I still shed tears each day for them, but try to keep in mind that they live forever in my heart.

[milli]

sorry to hear your loss katey... :D i dont really know what to say... i can see you are very upset which most people would be...im sure hes resting now and hell always be with you...