Vehs Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 Princess Nub didn't come home last night. I found her across the road, less than an hour ago, dead. I don't really feel anything, I am crying, but I think I should feel more. I cried for 3 days when she was in hospital with kidney problems and now I'm just.... This afternoon I walked down the road calling her thinking she would scamper across the road, I walked up to her still body, "Princess Nub? Oh Nubby." My best bet is she was hit by a car, she is not a pretty sight and she is not my little Nubby anymore. She was just a body that I had to move. I don't doubt her last moments were painful, unless the driver moved her off the road, but I think she struggled her way across. I am relieved for myself, and I don't feel badly that I'm not thinking about her, because she is gone and I can't change that. I am relieved that I didn't have to make the decision for her (kidney issues). I am worried though, and maybe it is shock, worried that I approached her body with such nonchalance, such indifference. I didn't think I would be so cold, I didn't think she'd die this way. What kind of person am I that I can just get online and check my stupid ebay auction status? How can my life just go on? I will miss her tonight when I don't have to check all her bowls are filled with water, when I don't have her suckling on my lap, when she's not meowing at the front door and then walking away when you open it, when she's not snuggled up next to me in bed (whisker up my nose making me sneeze). I will miss you Nub, you couldn't let one holiday go by without making me cry, you are satan's bride. (taken a few days ago) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ish Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 Very sorry for your loss, she seemed to play a big role in your life. Sleep well Princess Nub - no more sickness Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poodlefan Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 I am worried though, and maybe it is shock, worried that I approached her body with such nonchalance, such indifference. I didn't think I would be so cold, I didn't think she'd die this way. Your reaction isn't unusual VEHS. For some people the shock is a numbing thing - grief comes later when the thought processes start. Mind you, having had to enthanaise a horse - when he died the body simply wasn't "him" anymore. Maybe you just recognised that she's moved on and merely left her 'shell' behind. Sorry to hear of your loss. I'm glad my old cat shows no interest in the outside world - he never leaves the yard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fifi Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 so sad to hear about your Princess Nub. She looked such a pretty puss. I think that cold numb reaction is a basic survival mechanism, it allows us to deal with immediate danger or whatever activity we need to, in order to get through. When the real grief hits, be ready and cry as much as you need. hugs from us here, fifi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catzatsea Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 O I am so sorry about your loss Vehs. Plenty of to you. RIP Princess Nub Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cloverfdch Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 I am terribly sorry . Play nicely at the bridge Princess Nubb . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LittlePixie Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 I'm so sorry.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Staffyluv Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 Sorry Vehs... RIP puddy Jodie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Falgall Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 I am so sorry Vehs RIP Princess Nub Take Care Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
houdini's mum Posted July 6, 2005 Share Posted July 6, 2005 Vehs I am so sorry to hear of your lose. Lots of hugs for you :p RIP little friend Trace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wednesday Posted July 6, 2005 Share Posted July 6, 2005 So sorry Vehs. In regards to how you're feeling, it's not unusual when you have been faced with a 'decision' and they go a different way. Although you are grieving it's a sort of relief (for want of a better word) that the decision has been taken away from you. I've been through it, and so have many others. Don't feel guilty. RIP Princess Nub Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jemappelle Posted July 6, 2005 Share Posted July 6, 2005 So sorry Vehs. I think you started grieving for Princess Nub when she first became ill and you knew you would have to make the decision to relieve her of her suffering. RIP little girl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BubbleGirl Posted July 6, 2005 Share Posted July 6, 2005 So sorry VEHS :p Sometimes our bodies/brains make us numb to the feelings because we have like a little safety swtich inside because in essence we can't cope with the grief. It make come thru slowly over time. RIP Princess Nub Give those doggies up at the bridge hell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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