What should I do?

[Dogsfevr]

2 hours ago, NikkiandKane said:

They told me that once they have a confirmed pregnancy they will be in touch, they don’t expect that to be for 9 months, so I don’t need to think about it. I keep pushing it out of my mind but it keeps coming back in. It feels nicer to think about than dwelling on my loss I guess. This time last week was a day like any other until about 30 minutes from now..... then it all changed and I’ve never cried so much since. 
 

 

So don’t worry about it till then 

You need to feel the loss otherwise you won’t move forward .you will cry next week,a month after,the following year and many more to come .

Let Kane’s time happen and then consider the future when it feels right .

You May decide to stay a one dog household,you may decide to go with a pup but at present grieve for Kane because your other dog will feel your pain too knowing your upset .

[Tassie]

3 hours ago, Loving my Oldies said:

@NikkiandKane, I have not commented previously on your topics because I didn’t have any knowledge regarding Kane’s medical issues.  
 

You have suffered a great loss and a dearly loved dog has lost his life far far too early.  You have endured a time of physical, emotional and psychological upheaval.
 

My deepest deepest condolences to you.  Never ever chastise yourself or apologise to anyone for feeling as you do or for the tears you have shed and will shed.  You are on a forum where just about everyone understands what you are going through and wishes you only the best and know that only time starts the healing.  
 

It is wonderful and so precious that Kane’s breeders have offered you another puppy when the time comes.  While this is way in the future I am sure you will be having frissons of excitement at the prospect; when you have loved a dog as much as you loved Kane, the prospect of feeling that love again is very seductive and natural.  
 

Leave your heart open to that.  Who knows?  It might come sooner than another litter, life is never a straight line.  
 

In the meantime, please be assured that although we cannot take your pain and loss away, you and Kane are in our thoughts.  
 

 

 

 

 

Quoting because I think this is just a beautiful post that expresses what so many of us are feeling.  6 dogs into my adult dog owning and training life, I still don't know what is worse .. the gentle passing of a much loved 15 year old who had shared many adventures, or the shock of a sudden loss to an accidental poisoning, or as in your case, the shock of losing a young puppy so suddenly when it was reasonable to think he might be out of danger.   Among the old/longtimers here, we've shared those events and grieved with the humans and the other pets.    Never feel bad about coming here for support .. some threads can go a bit pear shaped at times, but this is on the whole a caring and supportive community.  (Thank you @Troy)

[julesluvscavs]

Hi. I'm sorry about your loss, its tragic when they go so suddenly and at such a young age
My Husband and I have gone through so much heartache over the last so many years. Our (Renae) lived to a reasonable age but got liver cancer. We  lost her son Joey earlier, at only 9 because of a tumour also (different type) we were very good friends with their breeder. In fact she gave us Renae once she finished showing and breeding her. We also lost Her (Our Breeder Friend) suddenly a few years ago as well. Ive never gotten over that either. Then we went on a list to get the Cavalier of my dreams (id never had a puppy before  and I wanted a Tri colour one, Joey we bought when he was about 15 months). Sadly we lost her (Miah) just over 2 and half months ago, suddenly and unexpectedly to a raptured spleen tumour ( we did not know about it until the day she was dying) She was only 7 
We are gutted and just exhausted over all the heartbreak our beautiful dogs have given us but don't regret the time we have had with each of them. They were all so special and perfect to us.
We still have a 11 or 12 year old male Cav which was rehomed to us about 5 years ago. We are pretty sure he was a backyard bred one. Hes been reasonably healthy. Hes just started getting cloudy eyes so we took him to a Animal Eye Specialist. He's not going blind, its an age related progression thing. Its not uncommon. Naturally his eyes wont be as sharp as they once was. He was very bonded with our last Cav, Miah.. they were inseparable and hes going ok now but had been missing her a lot. Its sad to watch.

We  have said we won't ever get another dog, its too hard and painful especially now we are getting older. We have an almost 18 year old cat that is slowing down a lot now (she was our very first pet and shes outlived most of our other pets!) We have a 11 year old Ragdoll cat that was rehomed to us also.

But over last couple of weeks i have been in a very dark hole and am missing Miah's huge personality and spark and i really need /want to find something not to replace her but to fill our house with love again... Ive been looking at lots of rescue groups for any type of small dog but theres been nothing in SA, only bigger type dogs. We have a lot of love to give. We have also started putting our name down with a couple of breeders but theres a long list of people already waiting.

If Fate decides we should have another dog and we wouldn't say no to another Cav despite all our heartaches, then we will leave it in the laps of the Gods, as its said. Currently because of the Covid 19, its been harder to find dogs, rescues or purebreds, here in South Australia anyway.

I think its lovely that your breeder has offered you another one, that is really nice.  They sound genuine. I would give it some definite thought. You have to always think with your head with any decisions  but go with your heart and gut also (which is what i generally do!)

I wish you all the best whatever you do. Its tough thinking about it when grieving still. I get that 

Ps I have found there are no guarantees in life with any animal or Human, even healthy ones.  Sometimes you just get a run of bad luck and stuff happens, it doesn't mean it will happen again.. Its the chance we all take in life.
 

Edited July 9, 2020 by julesluvscavs

[NikkiandKane]

I think I have decided I want another puppy. I can’t stop thinking about it. The only way I can describe it is to say I feel ripped off that I never got to see Kane grow to an adult, to spend all that time loving him. It came to a very premature end and no matter how much I loved him (and I did, so very very much) I want the chance to raise a baby to adulthood.

Kane taught me so much, being with him ALL the time, I spent so much time learning about dog behaviour and training.
I went from a person who had dogs inside only on their bed so as not to get fur everywhere, to a person whose every item of clothing was garnished with fur , Whose floors needed washing three times a week and whose car was also full of fur and I loved it! 

I learned that no one loves you like a dog. Scout is very much my husbands dog, she loves me but she’s a Daddy’s girl, Kane was a Mummy’s boy and I loved it.

Im not sure Kane’s sibling will be our next puppy. I just don’t know yet but I do know there will be another puppy in our home and our hearts. I simply don’t want to start wearing clothes which aren’t covered in fur, Kane taught me that.

[asal]

so  true julesluvscavs and  NikkiandKane, Its the price we pay for all that love and joy they share while we have them, few pets have the long lives we wish they had, but it can be hard to remember we made that choice and took that risk when we let them into our hearts.

 

It can take weeks, months and  sometime years to remember when the pain of their loss causes you to forget that.  Parents dont expect to lose their children either but that too happens.

 

Life truly is a lottery and hiding from that fact denies you the joy of taking your courage and accepting that.

[tikira]

I have followed your journey and am very saddened by your loss.

 

For me when I lost my beloved Jack Russell I thought I could not bear to go through the pain of loss again, but my heart was empty and I was in a depression, until the day we picked up our new puppy! Somehow my heart expanded to love this new Jack Russell as much as I had loved Tip. It was different and my one worry (hence why I waited six months) was that I would compare and find that Jingo reminded me of Tip... but you know what.... he didn't make me sadder, he helped mend my broken heart. I took a risk, and seven years later he is warming my heart and toes. It was the best decision I made!

 

However, only you know yourself and I think you will know when the time is right for you to try again. Maybe the best option is to accept the offer with an understanding that if you are not ready when the next litter is ready, then perhaps the one after that. Meanwhile, please keep talking to DOL, most of us truely understand how you are feeling right now and are happy to share your ups and downs as you navigate your way through the mire of sadness.

 

Kind regards

Di 

[Loving my Oldies]

12 minutes ago, Snook said:

I hope that you find the perfect dog to share your life and fill your heart with love, whenever the time is right for you. 

Ditto    

[persephone]

3 hours ago, NikkiandKane said:

I simply don’t want to start wearing clothes which aren’t covered in fur, Kane taught me that.

 

[NikkiandKane]

4 hours ago, Snook said:

I feel like I don't have much of anything to contribute to this discussion, with Justice being my first dog and me not having had to face your heartbreaking loss and decisions yet. There has been some wonderful advice from others though and you're in my thoughts. I hope that you find the perfect dog to share your life and fill your heart with love, whenever the time is right for you. 

Snook you have been such a beautiful support to me throughout my bumpy journey with Kane and I really appreciate it. 

[NikkiandKane]

UPDATE:

 

Just touching base to give you all an update. 

A little bit of time has passed and I am managing better. I still have days that I cry and miss my little guy but most days I can smile at his memory and the things Kane taught me about myself.

 

I have made a decision.....

I am not going to take the puppy on offer, Kanes sibling. I decided that aside from any possible health issues, I need my next puppy to be an individual and not a Kane replacement. Of course any puppy would be an individual but I really think that accepting a pup from Kanes parents would be setting me up to have different and unreasonable expectations on that pup.

 

I have been researching breeders and found a beautiful lady who I feel a real connection with, she is happy to let me have one of her pups from a future litter, so for now, I am content with that. I will let you all know, in a new and more positive thread, when there is a new pup on the horizon.

 

I may even look at showing our next baby who will be from an excellent pedigree with much show success.

 

Thanks everyone for all the help and advice. I will continue to visit the forum. Talk to you all soon.

[Rebanne]

[persephone]

Thank you for the update, and it's good to hear that things are going OK for you. I am looking forward to the time when a new puppy joins your family , and you can share the happy news with us

[asal]

very wise

 

we made that mistake when we lost scamp.

 

didnt realise we had chosen his image and poor Neiger didn't have a hope of living up to the dog we had lost he was the image of visually bot so utterly different .