Minding a dog for a friend of a friend and may need to keep it

[Kat2705]

Hi all,

 

My husband and I are minding a 1 and half year old staffy for a friend of a friend who has recently broken up with their partner. We said we would mind the dog for a couple of weeks until he found a place of his own. We already own our baby Jaxx (4 years old) staffy and we live with my parents as we are building a house. My parents adore our boy and treat him as their own. Now this new puppy has come into our lives and now we are not sure what to do. We think that the friend is not going to take the dog back (just get a vibe that he doesn't give a shit) My staffy is a bit jealous and will tell her off when shes annoying him. He just likes to chill out and laze around, whereas she is always on the go wanting to play and be around Jaxx. I'm just not sure if Jaxx is enjoying this new situation that we have put him in. I dont want him to get depressed from this. But then again in time it could get better? I'm just after some advice, if anyone has been in a similar situation. 

[Kazm]

I have been in a similar position. I sold a puppy to a couple but sadly a few months later they split up and neither of them could take the dog until they had sorted out their arrangements. I was told it would only be a few weeks and she at least would visit weekly so the pup wouldn’t forget her. Well, a few weeks went by and no visit from her. He dropped in once just to bring me some things for the dog. I sent numerous messages to both however when it turned into months I ended up telling them that they would have to take him or find a new home for the dog. I gave them a date and insisted. He was a lovely boy but there was no way we could take him on permanently. He was a full male and I already had 2 females. One being his mother and the other his sister. And 3 dogs doesn’t suit our lifestyle. 

They found the dog a new home and to this day he is happy.

Your boy could in time adjust to the new little one. All youngsters start off annoying but you also need to figure out if you need or want a second dog. Give them an ultimatum, see what happens and then make your decision.

[Tassie]

I guess the main questions for you to answer are do you like the youngster, are you in a position to have 2 dogs, are you prepared to have 2 dogs?   If so, it could be a good thing.  That age gap is quite a nice one, and she will get less annoying as she gets older, especially with training and management.  Your boy is likely to be quite glad of the company, as she settles down.  It might be a bit busy for you in the first few months, as you organise new routines to make sure your boy knows he is still the special one, and at the same time put some training into the youngster.   So it's really up to you to decide, if it comes to that.    If necessary, is the girl's breeder prepared to take her back or find an appropriate home for her?

[Dogsfevr]

Even if you think of keeping het start a conversation with them about the time frame stage there at for collecting 

Easy to bring up with Christmas coming up and your plans just wondering what there’s are.

Are they paying for you to care for her,have they visited at all .

 

 

Is she spayed .?If not when is she due in season.

Has she had her adult booster ?If not bring this up as a topic of being her temp caregiver and going out n about just making sure she has that booster is important too you ,making sure you aren’t dumped with all these things after.

 

Get in in writing not phone calls ,if you get no response or feel they may not collect her then have that convo .

She needs to have a future too and you should absolutely think about your own dog and whether you want to be a 2 dog family .

[juice]

Just because she is there doesn’t mean you need to keep her . 

What if she matures and doesn’t take kindly to being told off and retaliates . 

Kazm , why didn’t you place the pup ? How do you know it went to a good home ? It was one of yours after all , breeders should stand by what they put out there . 

[Kazm]

@juice my comment was worded maybe wrong. I told the couple that they needed to take him or a new home found for him. Of course I was going to step in and look after “my boy”, in finding a new home.  All my buyers know that I am here to help in anyway. 

Anyway as soon as I mentioned “new home” it was sorted. The guy had a friend at work who had been looking for a schnauzer pup  and had met “Charlie” previous to the couples breakup. His family, wife and 2 teenage girls took Charlie in and gave him the home he deserved. I met these people several times, spoke on the phone etc. They kept in touch with me, sending me emails and photos of Charlie enjoying his new life. Photos of being cuddled by the girls, snuggling with the family cat, running on the beach. They even bought him back to me when they went on holidays. So, yes, I believe he went to a good home. 

[Kat2705]

Thanks everyone for the advice. The dog is beautiful so yes we do like her and she is desexed. She is a little naughty jumping up on furniture and bugging Jaxx but I guess that is that puppy stage, right? 

The question will be do we want to be a 2 dog family.. this is something that we will have to consider greatly.

I had a hard time yesterday with my emotions and i was feeling as though all my love is with my boy and i dont want him to think that we have bought this new pup in to replace him (jealous)

@juice I know we don't HAVE to, but I don't think the guy looks after her very well. Hes a friend of friend so we are just trying to do the right thing and because shes a staffy theres a good chance she could end up at the pound, if he doesnt take her back.

 

[Kat2705]

@juice you do have a good point though. She could grow up and become nasty. So then my question is how do people have 2 dogs and not worry about them fighting? 

 

[Dogsfevr]

9 minutes ago, katrina &jaxx said:

Thanks everyone for the advice. The dog is beautiful so yes we do like her and she is desexed. She is a little naughty jumping up on furniture and bugging Jaxx but I guess that is that puppy stage, right? 

The question will be do we want to be a 2 dog family.. this is something that we will have to consider greatly.

I had a hard time yesterday with my emotions and i was feeling as though all my love is with my boy and i dont want him to think that we have bought this new pup in to replace him (jealous)

@juice I know we don't HAVE to, but I don't think the guy looks after her very well. Hes a friend of friend so we are just trying to do the right thing and because shes a staffy theres a good chance she could end up at the pound, if he doesnt take her back.

 

Don’t get suck into the guilt of the pound .

Dont be fooled into thinking this person won’t dump the dog .

 

There comes a point where there communication should be regular with you on how things are going so don’t get used .

 

It Sounds like being a 1 dog household is the best fit for you and there is no reason to feel guilty .

This dog sounds easily rehomable if that ends up the case the question the owner needs to face up too is are they making the effort or are they using you with no end result .

Ideally for the dogs sake if he doesn’t want her back then she needs a home .

in which case there are great rescue groups ,if bred by a breeder they will happily help in rehoming ,there is Staffy rescue .

The pound will only occur if dumped there ..

If you wish to do the rehoming get all the paperwork from him that includes the microchip name change etc 

 

I

 

[Kat2705]

Thanks. Its all so confusing - things are just easier with 1 dog, my parents look after Jaxx when we go on holidays so I do also feel the responsibility for them as well. Jaxx is my number 1 and its hard to consider another one now that we've had a good thing going for 4 years. Hubby thinks we should give her a chance to fit into our home. There has been no communication from the guy. I didn't think I would feel this way  

[persephone]

10 hours ago, katrina &jaxx said:

 She is a little naughty jumping up on furniture and bugging Jaxx but I guess that is that puppy stage, right? 

18 mths old is no longer a "puppy"   

[juice]

Having 2 bull breeds you need to be savvy about behavior.

No , she should not be allowed to jump on the furniture, its not puppy antics , its having no boundaries and not being taught., she is already being pushy.

You have to take the lead and be in control.

Females are generally top dog , so Jax will have to step back.

Don't feel guilty if you don't want her, depending on where you are pounds these days are very low kill and a good rehomable dog will easily find a new home.

 

[Kat2705]

@persephone haha true but she still acts like it - very different to my Jaxx who is very chilled

@juice thanks yeah its just a hard decision that all 4 people will have to agree on so i think on the weekend we will be having a family meeting lol 

just sucks because she is a sweet girl so I'm really torn. The naughty behaviour has come from the guy not putting in the effort with her and I feel as though our friend (not the one whos dog it is) is being pushy almost trying to convince us to take her

[Dogsfevr]

6 hours ago, katrina &jaxx said:

@persephone haha true but she still acts like it - very different to my Jaxx who is very chilled

@juice thanks yeah its just a hard decision that all 4 people will have to agree on so i think on the weekend we will be having a family meeting lol 

just sucks because she is a sweet girl so I'm really torn. The naughty behaviour has come from the guy not putting in the effort with her and I feel as though our friend (not the one whos dog it is) is being pushy almost trying to convince us to take her

Don’t be pushed and it sounds like you need to sort things out sooner than later .

 

If you do decide to take her be very careful on agreeing to any deals such as wanting to visit the dog or take it out for the day and yes people do at times expect you to be the Good Samaritan whilst those involved take advantage 

[Rebanne]

2nd Dogsfevr, if you take the girl on, all contact with previous owners stop.

[asal]

Yes it can be quite distressing for the dog if she is very attached to her owner.

 

looked after one for his owner while he was overseas, when he came home couldn't find a place that allowed him to keep him so visited regularly took him out for the day every weekend, often both weekend days.......... his dog would cry for hours after he went home. was months before he found a place for them both.

[Kat2705]

this girl has shown no signs of even missing the old family - weird. Over the weekend Jaxx and the new girl started bonding a bit more so now I'm even more confused than ever, 

Photo attached Black dog is the girl "Harlem"

[persephone]

That photo is a big OOPS if you really don't want another dog - you realise that, don't you ? 
they look very relaxed together.... 

[Loving my Oldies]

Hmmm    - - - think I know the outcome.         

[Tassie]

On 26/09/2019 at 10:40 AM, katrina &jaxx said:

@juice you do have a good point though. She could grow up and become nasty. So then my question is how do people have 2 dogs and not worry about them fighting? 

 

You know ,, with a desexed female at 18 months .. barring harsh handling (which she won't be getting from you) … I'd say what you're seeing in terms of temperament, is pretty much what she is.  "Naughty" behaviours that you don't like can be converted with positive training into behaviours you do like.,

The photo to me shows a very relaxed Jaxx, and a polite Harlem allowing Jaxx to have the centre space, and she's slanted slightly away from him, so respecting his space.  This is not to say that they might not have the occasional spat .. .I've pretty much had 2 dogs at a time over the last 30 years, always opposite sexes, and they do have disagreements occasionally .. over resources, and who's having training time, but a "That'll do" usually fixes it, and if it's my older boy telling off his pushy younger 'sister' for being a pain, I keep an eye on it, to make sure she's not arguing back, and let him get on with it.