Kazm Posted June 10, 2018 Share Posted June 10, 2018 Jwt, I can understand you wanting a dog. They are great company and a fine addition to any family. But they are a lifelong commitment and they do require a certain amount of attention, money and training. A dog is not just a possession to be bought out when you want, it’s a new family member and in my opinion you can’t just shut it away when you can’t be bothered by it. My dogs are involved in every aspect of our life. That’s why we got a small dog breed. Because it suits us. I realise you are trying to work out what suits your family but if you can’t work and continue on life as you are without locking a dog away for a few hours each day then I don’t think a dog is right for you. I know a lot of dogs are locked outside all day while owners work but it’s really not fair on them and that’s why I think some people just have a dog for the sake of having one. Most dogs in my opinion love to be with the family and should be trained to have manners so they can be around all the time. My dogs have always just sat quietly if we are doing things that don’t concern them but if we are busy doing household things then they run about and follow us and yes they are very good company. I would be very concerned about your child. If you were to get a young puppy then the child would need proper supervision and if it took a year to “ not squish “ guinea pigs then how long will it take to not hurt the puppy. Puppies also have very sharp teeth and your son may not appreciate a puppy chewing on his fingers etc. and this may lead to him hurting the puppy. If you were to get an older dog then unless it’s used to such treatment from a child it may hurt him. You have already returned one dog because it didn’t suit your needs. How many times can you do that? And as for a cat, well I wouldn’t go there as most cats that I know do not tolerate nonsense and they have very sharp claws that will hurt. I wish you all the luck with whatever you decide but a few years down the track when your son is older and more understanding might be a better option. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rascalmyshadow Posted June 10, 2018 Share Posted June 10, 2018 I disagree that a cat couldn’t work, they fit all the requirements the op has mentioned ( besides the orientals and Burmese would be too full on and/or vocal). Choosing the right breed makes a huge difference. We have four cats, the Ragdollx is tolerant to everything (like most Ragdolls) he took to my adhd/odd daughter immediately, allowed her cuddle him, put blankets on him etc. 5 years on and he sleeps on her bed most nights, yep he would scratch if hurt but I would rather a child learn from that than a serious bite from a dog. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_PL_ Posted June 10, 2018 Share Posted June 10, 2018 A couple of cat trees and some catproofing of the yard would solve both concerns. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
westiemum Posted June 10, 2018 Share Posted June 10, 2018 8 hours ago, Dame Danny's Darling said: I’m not doing anything as productive as writing a thesis , but when I go into the study and sit at the computer, I’m followed silently by four little dogs who settle on their beds and rarely make a sound ........ unless it is around dinner time and then Mezza might make his presence known. Mine do exactly the same DD -even my new little girl westie. If I head to my home office to work my two lie at my feet and don't make a peep unless I move! No need to regiment or lock them away. They love to be with me and I love to be with them - but they also seem to know when I have to work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persephone Posted June 10, 2018 Share Posted June 10, 2018 On 6/7/2018 at 6:29 PM, jwt said: I am thinking of getting a dog and I don't have experience. I have a young child and I understand that I always should supervise their interaction. Sometimes I am not able to do it. I wonder is it ok if I lock a dog in a room about 6-7 square metres? The total time would be 3-4 hours per day. I gather the separation of a dog is to keep dog and child safe, while parent cannot give full attention to interactions between the two. For a first-time dog owner, having a new dog and a child who needs close supervision around animals, it obviously seemed a solution. As none of us know how the child acts generally ..maybe baby gates aren't suitable /maybe a dog which lies on someones'feet would indeed be in the wrong place , and who knows what else ? It is a situation with lots of things to consider - none of them easy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jwt Posted June 10, 2018 Author Share Posted June 10, 2018 Thanks everyone. I decided not to take a dog. Because yesterday we tried another dog, super calm and friendly. But at some moment the dog didn’t like how my child touches her, and became angry for a couple of seconds. So I don’t want more experiments. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persephone Posted June 10, 2018 Share Posted June 10, 2018 Wise decision . Selecting a dog for a child who may not yet know the best way to touch animals is best done by experienced people. best of luck in the future . 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loving my Oldies Posted June 11, 2018 Share Posted June 11, 2018 Well done, @jwtfor recognising the difficulties of your situation. You tried, you asked for help and guidance and you have come to the correct decision for your family and for the dogs. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juice Posted June 11, 2018 Share Posted June 11, 2018 Actually took no notice and got another dog to try , could have ended badly for the dog . 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
westiemum Posted June 11, 2018 Share Posted June 11, 2018 Yep good decision. There are some families that are just not suited to dogs - now or in the future. And to be honest, jwt, I suspect yours might be one of them. And my apologies for my 'troll' comment. It was simply how it looked and felt to me at the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KobiD Posted June 11, 2018 Share Posted June 11, 2018 On 6/8/2018 at 3:10 PM, Tassie said: I can understand your concerns about a cat, but to be honest, in your situation, I think a cat would be a better fit. You might need to spend a bit of money up front setting up an enclosure so the cat can have safe outside time, ideally with secure access from the house. And if you and your child enjoy going for walks, it's quite possible to train a cat to walk nicely on a harness ... but they'll survive perfectly well without being taken for walks ... so less pressure. And since many/most cats are happy to sleep most of the day away, there's much less pressure to train, entertain etc. Just something to consider. A dog really is a major commitment of time, energy and patience, and maybe now is not the right time in your life for a dog. This was my thought as well. On 6/8/2018 at 7:16 PM, persephone said: IF, though, as it seems, your child is,as yet, not quite ready to live with a dog ... consider a lovely ragdoll cat ..a stress reliever , if ever there was one . Nailed it. On 6/9/2018 at 8:37 AM, ~Anne~ said: Geebus, lighten up everyone! So much judgement! There is nothig wrong with putting a dog in a room for 3-4 hours if the dog is ok with that. I know of many dogs that would be fine with that. They’d simply sleep the time away and if it was done routinely, they would learn the routine and be fine. I think a penned area would also work. We used to pen ours by placing a long straight baby fence across from the breakfast bar to the wall. It’s hard to describe but it enabled us to create a pen that was approx 2.5m x 1m and as it was parallel to the back door where there was a dog door, they could come and go from outside too. From what you’ve described, I would never have recommended a Staffy anyway so the rescue should have screened better in my view. As for returning it, good job. That’s EXACTLY what a responsible person would do and I’m surprised at the responses here by rescuers. That’s WHY we offer a return if it doesn’t work out remember, rescuers? A few tips tips for what it’s worth: - dogs can and do take up to 12 weeks to show their true colours in a rescue rehome situation. Give the dog time to settle, be patient, speak to the rescue and makes sure you know what is the time limit you have to return the dog if it’s not working out. Many don’t offer this ‘settling in’ time at all. - speak to as many people as you can about what breeds are more compliant and not overly active. Although rescues are maninly indeterminate breeds, you can make a judgement on what type you might be looking for. - consider buying and older dog, maybe even a purebred from a breeder. The breeder will know the dog’s personality and traits. - take your time. Get it right. Good luck! Glad someone here is looking at things from the other side of the field. I agree that there is the right animal to meet the needs. It may take some time and patience both finding and training to achieve said goals, but on the whole it's not unreasonable. On 6/10/2018 at 3:42 PM, Rascalmyshadow said: I disagree that a cat couldn’t work, they fit all the requirements the op has mentioned ( besides the orientals and Burmese would be too full on and/or vocal). Choosing the right breed makes a huge difference. We have four cats, the Ragdollx is tolerant to everything (like most Ragdolls) he took to my adhd/odd daughter immediately, allowed her cuddle him, put blankets on him etc. 5 years on and he sleeps on her bed most nights, yep he would scratch if hurt but I would rather a child learn from that than a serious bite from a dog. I see a pattern here. I would have to agree. Have had a couple cats over the years. 1st a feral ginger from behind a dumpster as a kitten which retained it's wild nature. It was a very special occasion when that boy would jump up on your lap for a snuggle. If he didn't want attention you'd better not try and force it on him.. He was a cat cat that saw the world through his own eyes. Walked to the beat of his own drum. Still usually pretty tolerance of children, in that he'd be out of sight if he didn't want to play. The later a purebred ragdoll. He's about as much like a dog as a cat gets. Happily sleeps most of the day, yet still likes to have human interaction without being needy. Generally just sticks around. He comes out the front to check the letter box, and outside to hang the washing on the line. Likes to sleep at the end of the bed.. and oh so tolerant of everyone. Even when he likes to play rough (which he only does with me, not the kids) he's very gentle in his approach of mouthing, kicking, and latching onto my legs. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jwt Posted June 11, 2018 Author Share Posted June 11, 2018 Does anyone know, can a cat be tested for bacteria called ” Bartonella henselae”? I have had a severe reaction in the childhood and I am afraid my child may have it too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persephone Posted June 11, 2018 Share Posted June 11, 2018 (edited) Hmm..this is one of those tricky things you could test your cat today and have the blood test show negative(yes a special blood test can be done) . In a short time, it may show positive , depending on whether ONE flea , carrying the bacteria has been in contact with the cat . It would be best to NOT experiment ..as blood tests are expensive ..but to speak with a veterinarian ? I think cat Scratch fever is only a big problem if a human has a poor immune system - so check with your child's doctor about that ? I have been scratched/bitten by all sorts of cats over 50 years or so, and never had a problem . Cat teeth are known to be a great way of getting bacteria into whatever they bite - but good and quick first aid ..and perhaps a visit to a doctor , should stop anything drastic happening . Children and the elderly, and those with poor immune systems do need to be careful. Edited June 11, 2018 by persephone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jwt Posted June 12, 2018 Author Share Posted June 12, 2018 May I ask another one stupid question? Is it possible to put a muzzle on a dog when the child is around? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persephone Posted June 12, 2018 Share Posted June 12, 2018 jwt. Anything is possible . We can remove teeth without any painkillers ! We can live without having any trained teachers or doctors. BUT WE DON'T . I am not saying a dog is exactly like a child . A dog DOES feel fear/anxiety/pain/terror/confusion...all those things . IMAGINE this . A child, each time it sees a black cat , goes and hits the cat hard. The child does not know any other way to communicate . The mother puts handcuffs on the child , as where they walk , there are many black cats , and their walk takes SO long , what with the child hitting cats all the time . The child does not do well . with hands in handcuffs it cannot communicate with anyone ..it cannot defend itself against bullies , it cannot balance, and it feels trapped , but cannot escape . the child becomes very scared of going on walks ...then scared of its mother ..finally it kicks its mother and hurts her, badly . A bit of a strange story - Put a muzzle on a dog YOU DO NOT KNOW , put a muzzle on a dog WHO HAS NOT BEEN TRAINED over a period of time to accept this way of behaving around a certain person ... and you are being cruel to the dog. simple. JWT. PLEASE seek help with an organisation who select/train and place dogs with children who NEED them if you think a dog will benefit your child. Your wanting to desperately get a dog for your child needs input from professionals who do this all the time . I used to be one such ..it takes a LONG time to find one dog to suit one person ..if it is a good idea in the first place . Please , do not muzzle a dog you are 'borrowing' ..that treatment is NOT 'better than the pound' 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rascalmyshadow Posted June 12, 2018 Share Posted June 12, 2018 Please do not do that, as Persephone stated that puts a dog in a very bad predicament, if the dog feels threatened and can’t defend itself the outcome could be very severe once the muzzle comes off. Years ago I regularly groomed a poor little dog like this, it took a dislike to the husband so it was kept muzzled while around him, he would get the wife to muzzle it before leaving home, I would remove the muzzle for grooming and he would not even take the dogs lead until the muzzle was back on. Over time the dogs aggression got worse and worse, so did it’s stress levels, it became so bad that even with the muzzle it couldn’t be in the same room as him. He assured me (he was a genuinely nice old man) he had never done anything to the dog, I think the wife was the root of the problem. The end result after numerous years of what I deem cruelty was a dead dog, and that’s the unfortunate reality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jwt Posted June 12, 2018 Author Share Posted June 12, 2018 Thanks. Just want to clarify my question. I assume that dog will be friendly 99% of time, otherwise I will give it back. Muzzle will be used just for preventing accidental biting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juice Posted June 12, 2018 Share Posted June 12, 2018 So again you are ignoring advice and are going to try another dog and muzzle the poor thing so when child hurts it it has to put up with it . FFS start listening , I hope everyone in rescue knows who you are and doesn’t give you a dog ! Perhaps you should lock your child up instead ! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teebs Posted June 12, 2018 Share Posted June 12, 2018 You have another dog lined up ??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rascalmyshadow Posted June 12, 2018 Share Posted June 12, 2018 Really!!! You have lots of very good advice from many experienced dog people and you choose to ignore it all, either you’re arrogant, a troll or just plain stupid. If you are legit I feel sorry for your child and whatever dog comes your way. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now