Settling in a new dog

[Tara and Sam]

  mum got her new dog ( 5year old ) on Monday , they stayed here for a few days  to help mum with settle  her in , of course we know there can be a few week to settle in , ( we have had 4 dogs from the same breeder ) as yes each can be different , but this little  girl is  so  different , she met my little girl and  didnt really  seem interested  in her
we had a bed set up for her in mums room here and she spent most of the time in the  bedroom in that bed , we at times had to pick her up and take her out, and she would try and shoot back to that room ,  she eats well , and  does  toilet most  times , but she can sure hang on also , mum took her home today  and she has hardly left her crate  all day , she walked up mums driveway very well and inside  , sniffed around kitchen and then whent into the crate made comfy for her  with her familiar  toy sent by breeder
If you go to bring her out the crate she battens down and wont move , not wanting to frighten her  we let her go , waiting for her to make her own move
she doesnt appear to be interested in anything else in house , so far has only investigated the kitchen , take outside and  wants to come back inside , even on a lead  outside  she makes no attempt to do a wee  or  more ,
we had a vet out yesterday thinking maybe after the  10 hour flight she may have sore leg / back etc , but  she was given a  very good clean bill of health , was slightly tender near her desexing  area ( desexed 9th this month )
she has been through 2 ops in last few months , cessarian , and desexing , yesterday she did pick up the  toy  that came with her and carried it back to the bed , which we think might be a  missing her pups maybe?
the  trip and heat  may have affected her so hence  sleeping more and felt more secure in the bed and crate ,
if we go towards her gently and softly she tends to back away or moves away
the crate door is left open so she can come and go , but she just  doesnt want to come out of it , we  have tried enticing with  chicken / treats etc , she  wants them but just  wont come out

any thoughts  and or other suggestions  to help her ease in more , our others  have settled in a bit easier than this one

we know this is a process to settle in , but  only once or twice willingingly  came out 4 nights later no real improvement ,

mum has about 5 steps in the house which she will try with a lead tomorrow to entice her up to the bedroom , obviously where she would like her to sleep , so tonight left her in the crate in kitchen as she seemed secure / comfortable with

 

 

Edited November 23, 2017 by Tara and Sam

[Diva]

She just sounds stressed to me, probably thinks the move is temporary and doesn't realise it is home now. Maybe get an Adaptil diffuser, it might help her relax. There are other things you could try but I would give her more time first.

About the going to her 'gently', some dogs find an overly soft approach a bit creepy. I would be gentle but also very matter of fact, not tentative at all. Sometimes ignoring them a bit helps them settle.

Edited November 23, 2017 by Diva

[Tara and Sam]

she  doesnt shake / shiver as if frightened  when slowly go to her , , ok didnt think  of her thinking only temporary

what about Rescue remedy also  as well as adaptil ?

what else could we try  so can give mum few more ideas tomorrow 

we realise  more time is needed , but only going or coming out once a day  is a bit  upsetting  for mum 

my timid girl did manage to move around bit more after day or so  , but onbviously month or so  before more confident

 

[Tara and Sam]

18 minutes ago, Diva said:

She just sounds stressed to me, probably thinks the move is temporary and doesn't realise it is home now. Maybe get an Adaptil diffuser, it might help her relax. There are other things you could try but I would give her more time first.

About the going to her 'gently', some dogs find an overly soft approach a bit creepy. I would be gentle but also very matter of fact, not tentative at all. Sometimes ignoring them a bit helps them settle.

yeah we  have walked up to her in bed or room normally , and spoken to her  in normal voice and  tried to coax her in a friendly manner , and  say things like come out    time for  tea . wee etc , not really  softly  but not loud  , that swhat we thinking if we just let her go and she willl come when she wants to ?

[Diva]

I would be inclined to just leave her be and let her come out in her own time.

[karen15]

my cocker was similar when I got her. Wouldn't engage, wouldn't play, if you stood up she'd be a dog shaped puddle on the ground. I was her fourth home and she was a few months shy of three years old. She'd left a golden retriever buddy when I got her.

 

she's a guts, so would always be there for food, however even with that initially there was a lot of turned up noses and uneaten food until it was made how she liked. A diet fixed that fussiness, as she was very fat, now she eats whatever she's fed.

 

I would guess that, as a breeding dog, yours has probably spent a bit of time in the crate, so that's where she feels most secure. It would be quite unsettling being in a strange place with strange people. Apparently Meg would howl when I left and keep it up till I got home. Luckily I have nice neighbours! Once I got the pup, a month after I got Meg, she was happier, plus then I was on three months leave, so we all spent a lot of time together.

 

ìf she comes when called, I'd be calling her out of the crate pretty regularly, giving her a yummy treat like liver treats, beef jerky, cheese etc, a bit of a pat and cuddle, then let her decide where she wants to be, back in the crate is fine. Does she have other beds in the house? That would give her somewhere else to go to. I wanted Meg sleeping in my room and to be honest she didn't have a choice. I put a bed in there, put her on it and shut the bedroom door so she couldn't leave. That's the routine and these days she's very eager to go to bed at night.

 

these days, the crate is in the bathroom and is used when I'm at work as her sleep spot (if she doesn't pinch the westies....). They have access to outdoors as well. I've got 8 dog beds for two dogs so they have plenty of options. As Meg wants to be with me, she picks the beds nearest me, if she isn't on the couch snuggling me , like now.

 

seeing them come out of their shell is very rewarding. I was so excited the first time Meg instigated play and the first morning she raced onto the bed with a teddy to play. She didn't know how to play when I got her, and for me that's really sad. As my vet said, once she realised she wasn't leaving she became very devoted to me.

Edited November 23, 2017 by karen15

[mackiemad]

I'd just leave her be, she'll figure it out.

 

I might read a book sitting against the wall about a metre from the crate, not looking at her - just so she knows you're there but there is no pressure. Plus the cup of tea might smell interesting.

 

If she's eating ok I wouldn't stress about it, she's had a big couple of months and her life has been turned upside down.

[stellnme]

We've had our little ten year old 4 weeks on Sunday and it's probably only now that she has realised that this is home.  We've just let her be and get used to us on her own terms, but the big thing that has done wonders is routine.  My other two dogs know that feeding is around the same time, walks usually occur in the morning and toileting (even though we have access to the yard at all times) is a regular event, i.e. first thing in the morning, last thing at night, etc.  Tuppence is an Italian Greyhound  - my first of that breed, and those that know the breed well have told me that they are timid little dogs who take time to warm up to people. 

I also give them all their own safe space to go to and sleep and she certainly likes to retreat to her bed when feeling a bit anxious.  She now will come and sit on our laps when she wants to and the big break through is that she has started to play with Basil's toys.

I think your Mum's dog needs time, routine and stability - which  sounds like you are providing that now.  Good luck with the little one!

[_PL_]

Rule of 3.  

3 days for the shock to wear off, 3 weeks for them to get used to things and 3 months for them to settle in and really open up. Give her time, try not to hover,  just let her explore on her own and watch the regular workings of the house. 

Edited November 23, 2017 by Powerlegs

[Loving my Oldies]

Unfortunately, dogs don’t speak human and we don’t speak dog, so matter how many times you tell her that she is safe, secure and loved, only time will tell her that. 

 

As hard it is will be, I agree with those who say to let her be and give her more time. 

 

The last few months have been a huge roller coaster for her and she needs to heal emotionally and psychologically from all the upheaval.  

 

Good luck and may your mum and her dog (no name in all your posts ??  ) soon be an unbreakable partnership.    

 

[Tara and Sam]

Yes  we know can take time  for them to settle in , but hasnt been much  in the last few days , but I tend to agree with some  answers here , she has been through a lot with her ops and  leaving her pups and long flight and then new people and  hasnt realised  this will be her  long term home and the heat knocked her  a bit , mum did take her  up to her bedroom last night , she did shake alot when came out crate , ( mum was concerned if she roamed  up the stairs she may have fallen ) but when got into the bed in the bedroom she slept all night long and  even snores
mum let her stay in the crate  most of the day as she  did things around the house , she put her food outside the crate so she came out herself ,  then took her on lead around outside and she did her  nature calls and was quiet happy haveing a sniff around parts of the back yard
then both had a lay down in the bedroom and mum got up and left her there , then few minutes later someone poked her head around the corner at top of stairs, so have a happy mum at moment and  some  moments that are starting to look  promising
after  haing 9  new dogs with in the family over  many  years   this little one  has  taken a lot longer to show some sort of interest  
thanks for the replies  as knew most of what  to do  but  any  new ideas are   welcome , I will also get some rescue remedy or adpatil to have on hand for her

at the moment apparently she has ventured into lounge room and is now watching tv sitting on a bed in there , so hopefully she is having a little turning point with many more to come

 

The last few months have been a huge roller coaster for her and she needs to heal emotionally and psychologically from all the upheaval

 

and that I think has been the major factor in this along with her physical recovery

 

So welcome to the family Emmi and may you love your new home and mum and feel content

[jemappelle]

Glad to read that things are improving, but where are the photos? 

[Tara and Sam]

oops forgot that  , sorry , still looks a bit confused about the camera

[Loving my Oldies]

Emmi is beautiful and, judging from what you told us in your post, it would seem she has made some enormous strides in the past couple of days for a little dog who has been through so much.   

[Tara and Sam]

Yes today she has had some good steps forward

and one happier mum

 

mum's first cavvie came home slept that night  and next morning was into everything in garden lol

they all have their ways

[jemappelle]

Yes, some sleep a lot and others are non-stop!  Your mum needs to look on the bright side, at least she is not trashing the place and eating the walls like me tri girl did.  lol

[Boronia]

20 minutes ago, jemappelle said:

Yes, some sleep a lot and others are non-stop!  Your mum needs to look on the bright side, at least she is not trashing the place and eating the walls like me tri girl did.  lol

or barking and barking and barking and barking and barking and barking and barking at my OH

sigh...

[Loving my Oldies]

10 hours ago, Tara and Sam said:

Yes today she has had some good steps forward

and one happier mum

 

mum's first cavvie came home slept that night  and next morning was into everything in garden lol

they all have their ways

We need to remember that they are all different ....... and generally as loveable  .

 

Please keep us updated as we all love “happy ever after” stories, as I am sure this will become.   

[Tassie]

What a sweetie.   It really does sound as though she's turned the corner and is starting to settle nicely.   Your mum must be relieved.

[Tara and Sam]

ok , she has been with mum about 9  weeks now  and things not really improving

she loves sleeping  in bed or crate when whent home to mum , she  was investigateing the garden , she has got better with  eating slowly ,  she still had moments of timid ( understandable ) , would bark at dog next door and chase bird etc

mum came down here   week before christmas as had my gallbladder out , I had a crate here and beds for , she seemed to  eat  well and didnt have a problem with  my dog

when whent back home she  was petrified of getting into her  crate that she loved  being in before , mum put her in crate and sat on chair next to her and  read  , she  is now back to going into her crate fine ,

brother came up today as he does most days as whent to give her some liver treats and she totally  took of shaking up stairs to  bed in  mums room , mum  whent to give her some treat and she sat there shivering ,  she is petrified of practualarly  everything today , asked mum if she having more good days than bad and seems bad days are becoming the norm , this is upsetting mum  alot ,

she needs to have a  groom  next week and mum is concerned  this  might put her back even more as she so scared of most things , she does come up to mum and let her know it is tea time and  does if outside in afternoon come up put front legs on her  to have a  hold which mum does , mum hasnt pushed things , just letting her  come to mum or brother  on her own  , but  mum doesnt know what else to do , surely by now she should have got used to brother coming and going ( he is feeling slightly upset  as she runs away from him offering her a treat ) mum can be making tea and she  goes into lounge room and waits for mum , yet this  petrified  character is upsetting mum

 

mum is at her wits end and thinking she may have to go