Separation anxiety. Any tips??

[Kazm]

As a lot of you would know, we recently had to say goodbye to my sweet mini schnauzer Zena. As you know we still have her daughter Molly. Molly has just turned 6. She has handled Zena's passing quite well. Better than I thought she would. She just has a few quiet moments when I think she's a little down but mostly she is a happy little girl. Has helped me so much through this time. The problem is she has never spent any time on her own. Obviously she has always had her mums company for her whole life. We now have a slight problem whenever we go out. She sits on the lounge looking out the window and whines, howls a little and occasionally yaps. The yapping could be at something she sees happening outside though. Her whining and howling isn't very loud and as we live on a large block ( 2 acres) the neighbours who aren't very close  wouldn't be hearing her. I know this all goes on as my daughter works different hours each day and she is upstairs and can hear her. My mother in law also lives in a granny flat attached to the house and she confirms the noise. My daughter does attend to Molly if home so that's all ok and before anyone suggests leaving her with the M I L, this I do not want to get in the habit of doing either. I really think maybe in time Molly will settle and get used to being left. We are all going through an adjustment time due to losing Zena. Apparently she  doesn't constantly whine and most of the time it is very quiet. I just hate the thought of her being this way. Is using tough love the right option or should I do something else? At the moment we haven't been out for very long. Only a few hours at the most but I am worried about when we actually go somewhere for the whole day. 

[Dogsfevr]

This isn't separation anxiety so my advice is don't turn into something it isn't .

You now need to resume normal life for the dogs sake & go about things as you plan them to be .

You need to turn her daily routine into one you plan to keep not just change for the present .

Do you take her for walks.?

Does she play with toys ?

 

 

[RuralPug]

Dogs do grieve. Let her have her grieving moments. It will pass. Showdogs advice above is excellent. 

 

[karen15]

when I first got the cocker she would whine when I was out, my neighbour kindly let me know. So I started leaving the radio on when I went out and that seemed to help. Once I got the westie pup she settled fine, probably helped by me being home for three months.

 

so maybe try the radio?

[Her Majesty Dogmad]

I have lots of tips for people on this subject but definitely leaving the radio on is one of them.  Wear an old T-shirt to bed and leave that in your dog's bed when you leave.

 

Some Rescue Remedy or CALM (made in Melbourne) could help her get through this, it sounds like grief but it could also be loneliness.  If a dog has never been an only dog before, some really don't cope that well when suddenly it's just them.  Others have blossomed in the same situation, particularly if the dog they lived with was dominant over them, they come into their own and cope just fine.  

 

Maybe talk to someone who knows the breed tendencies well - Schnauzer on DOL is amazing.  I rescue/rehome all sorts of dogs but especially Italian Greyhounds and as a breed, they rarely cope as only dogs.

[Kazm]

Thanks for all advice. Maybe a radio might work. I can try it.

Our whole routine hasn't changed since Zena's passing. My husband works and I am privileged to be able to stay home and keep the household running smoothly. We live a casual lifestyle and I only ever go out a couple of times a week just for a few hours. Out for dinner occasionally and out and about on the weekends. Where possible Molly goes with us. This is no different either. We always have taken the girls with us if we could.  Every week day morning I walk Molly for approx. 1 hour and some afternoons we go for another half hour walk. She does play with toys. Loves a good rough game and loves her soccer ball. I am an active person and keep busy all day and she's my little shadow. They both always have followed me everywhere and love when I work outside. I give her bones a couple of times a week. Keeps her occupied when I'm doing something she thinks is boring. Keeps her teeth good too and she absolutely loves them. We have always made sure our dogs have enough stimulation in their lives. I often have pups that I have sold come and stay with us while their owners holiday and being schnauzers quite a few come to me for their grooming as well as play dates so she has lots of dog company as well on occasions. I actually am kept busy with them all. There is usually  an extra dog here every week. 

I guess she just doesn't appreciate us going out. I admit she does love being involved in everything. 

 

Thanks HMD. I am thinking it is loneliness as she does spend most of her time with us.  I think too it must feel different being the only dog now. Despite Zena being her mum she was never dominant over Molly. I always said she was a big softy where Molly was concerned. She always let her get away with too much. But Molly wasn't dominant over Zena either. Very much on an even par. Never had any arguments. They were great together.  

I guess I can try the radio/ shirt ideas and see how we go. 

I just hate the thought of her being unhappy.  I'm a softy too

[Scottsmum]

I think it's great you're aware of it, but also agree she probably just needs time to adjust and find her new normal. 

 

[Kazm]

Thanks Scottsmum. Your comment makes me feel a bit better and hopefully she does just need time to adjust. She's smart so really she should know that things haven't changed too much and we will always come home to her. 

[Scottsmum]

 

Thanks Scottsmum. Your comment makes me feel a bit better and hopefully she does just need time to adjust. She's smart so really she should know that things haven't changed too much and we will always come home to her. 

Oh - I don't want to make you feel worse again - but I do really believe dogs understand and mourn too. It's probably not so much she's worried you wont come back - but she's a bit sad/lonely.  

Fairly off topic - I used to walk Scottie with a group of reactive dogs - by the end of it we were down to two - Scottie and Gem.  The first week I went without Scottie Gem was really wary of me - giving me the side eye and keeping her distance. Then when I went to get in my car at the end of the hour she went totally nuts - all her usually "I'll eat any dog who comes near me" business - even thought she'd gotten pretty good with Scottie - within distance and reason.  It took a while until I twigged that she must have assumed I had him in the back of the car (and had left him there while we'd gone for a lovely stroll ) Anyhow - it took her Mum opening my car up and letting her inspect it for her to realise he wasn't there. She's been totally fine ever since. 

 

Not sure what the best thing to suggest is - Maybe some enrichment type stuff if she's a foodie...  but really probably just time.  Last time I had a pair I don't think the girl mourned the loss of the boy. She was totally the boss and I assume she either thought "good riddance" or "Where's the help gone".  

[Dogsfevr]

Personally change nothing just give her time but above you need to give her confidence that all is good.

So don't over do the spoiling just keep it plan and simple 

[Kazm]

Oh, Scottsmum, you haven't made me feel worse. I too believe dogs understand more than we give them credit for. And I truly believe Molly is probably just lonely as when we are home we do so much together. Yes, she probably is spoilt. Um ah my fault!!!

 

 I could try something foodie. She's always thinking of her stomach.  

She does have a kong like toy that treats can be put in. Maybe I could throw that at her as a distractionmight keep her busy for like all of 5 minutes. Lol

Cool story too by the way.

[Her Majesty Dogmad]

Just remember noone should greet her on arriving home.  I ignore all my dogs (inc fosters) for 15 mins when i get home and the same when i'm leaving.  I can't rehome dogs with anxiety and over fussing them on arriving home or before leaving can set them off.

[kamuzz]

A wiser DOLer gave me these rules for Separation Anxiety a few years back.

 

The 3 main things the uni vet told us to do were:

1. set up a place where the dog would spend time alone (or with the other dogs) even when we were home, with water, toys, kongs, whatever. And we had to put items that strongly had our scent on them there.

This was so the dog could learn to be confident & happy not having its owner in its presence.

2. ignore the dog, only give attention when it was quiet & not trying to make demands by screaming, whining, barking, being physically pushy.

This was so the dog could learn that the 'bad' behaviours did not bring what it wanted...good things from the owners. But 'good' behaviour would.

3. specially ignore the dog for 5-10 minutes before leaving home....& 5-10 minutes on arriving home.

This was to hose down the owner's coming & going being a big emotional thing.

4. teach the dog basic obedience of obeying 'Sit' to get all good things (food, treats, pats etc) & make it stay & wait when a person was going thro' a doorway or gate.

This was so the dog could learn who was the boss...which helps relieve anxiety. And also learn what the 'good' behaviours were, that would earn good things from its owner.

Edited May 24, 2017 by kamuzz

[Papillon Kisses]

How's Molly going? Any improvement?

[Kazm]

Not a huge improvement yet PK but for the last two weeks we have been on a bush camping road trip anyway and Molly came with us. Her first long trip away from home. She loved it but had both of us 24/7 so why wouldn't she .

Before we went though at times I think she possibly was a bit quieter.

The hard yards might start now that we are back home and back to doing normal things. I will re read everyone's advice and take it from there.

Thanks for asking