Maddy Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 I wish this had all been a bad dream; that I'd wake up to see you standing in front of me, staring at me with your beautiful, dark eyes, wanting to know why I'm not up and getting you breakfast. But you're gone. You floated away on a gentle methadone cloud, your body was still warm and soft but you weren't in it anymore. I would have given everything I had, to bring you home for just one more night, to sleep beside you and feel the rise and fall of your chest, just to have you with me. But you're gone. You were so strong. You fought like the wild stallion you imagined yourself to be when you galloped in the front yard, fierce and unyielding. Your pain must have been terrible but you were brave. That insidious disease was eating away at you, where I couldn't see it, but you never cried out. Until the very end, you were stronger than I could ever hope to be. You were my little moon, happily orbiting around my legs whenever I came home, eyes filled with unreserved excitement at seeing me again, even if I'd only gone out to check the mail. Those eyes made me love you even when you'd been a wewy bad dog- it was impossible not to look into them, soft and wide, and not be swept away with overwhelming love for you. Things weren't always easy and in my heart, I knew I wouldn't have you for a long time but every moment I got with you was precious. From the day we first met, you- Roger, soon-to-be-Bosley, a dirty, flea-infested little pup- gently took a piece of my heart and kept it safely beside your own. I can still feel it there. It hurts so badly, I cry until I'm sure there can't be any more tears left in me, but there will always be more. I know time will soften the pain, that the ragged edges will heal but I will never be entirely whole again, without you. Your pillow is on my bed now. It still smells like you and if I close my eyes, I can pretend that none of this happened. But when I open my eyes, your bed is empty. Kiff and Sally will be waiting at the bridge for you. Please don't annoy them too much. Run free, my precious, sweet boy. I love you. Bosley 27/3/2012 - 26/10/2016 From the beginning, he was always a bit speshul Those eyes Always had to have a pillow Shitty Whippet pillow I don't think I will ever love another dog as much as I love Bosley :( For anyone wondering, we initially thought it was pancreatitis (he'd had two minor bouts previously) but as it turns out, it was probably an insulinoma. By the time we actually saw any symptoms, it had spread through his abdomen and there was nothing that could be done to save him. The excellent vet we took him to gave him the best of chances and tried everything (on the diagnosis of pancreatitis) until finally deciding to open him up to see why nothing was helping. Having to agree to him being put to sleep while still under the anaesthetic was the hardest thing I've ever done. Even when it is my only choice, it was still a painful choice that felt like giving up on him. I don't think I've cried so much in my life. Nothing is right at home, all his favourite places are empty. I know the pain will get better with time but it won't change the fact that he's gone. All of my future was planned to include him, my days were planned around his needs, he was so much of my life that suddenly, I have hours of silence to fill. The hole he has left behind is bigger than I could ever have known, and I don't think it will ever truly heal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Avanti* Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 I'm very sorry for your loss Maddy, gone too soon. That's a beautiful tribute and photos. Rest in peace Bosley. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SarasMum Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 So sorry to hear this. Fly free Bosley. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stellnme Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 They are loving words, Maddy, for a beautiful boy. I'm sorry he had to leave. Most of us know that overwhelming feeling when they are no longer physically with us. Always in your heart and memories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirislin Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 I'm so sorry, your words are so heartfelt it pains me to read them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RuralPug Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Run free at the Bridge, beautiful boy. My deepest condolences Maddy, your love for him shines through in your tribute. Thank you for giving him the best life possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scottsmum Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 (edited) Oh Maddy :heart: Edited October 30, 2016 by Scottsmum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadWoofter Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Oh Maddy, so sorry to hear this. What a beautiful tribute to a lovely boy :heart: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papillon Kisses Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 I'm so sorry Maddy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvmybulldog Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 So sorry for your loss Maddy - I understand your heartbreak, I lost my boy in June to this and he too showed no symptoms. Your beautiful tribute to him shows how much you love him. May you Rest in Peace Bosley. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boronia Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 O Maddy, I am so sorry. What a beautiful boy Gone too soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harley Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 So sorry to read this, what a beautiful soul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddy Posted October 30, 2016 Author Share Posted October 30, 2016 So sorry for your loss Maddy - I understand your heartbreak, I lost my boy in June to this and he too showed no symptoms. Your beautiful tribute to him shows how much you love him. May you Rest in Peace Bosley. Such a horrible cancer Bosley was also epileptic so with his medication (pheno/bromide) perfectly masking the symptoms, we had no hope in hell of noticing anything wrong. Although as our vet pointed out, even if caught early enough to be treated with surgery, you can buy them another 12 months, at most. How old was your boy? Our vet seemed very surprised that it was an insulinoma, given Bosley was only four. Typical of Bosley's luck, to end up with a cancer unusual in younger dogs :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mjosa Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 to you Maddie, it is so hard to imagine life without your heart dog,I too have felt the pain of that several times over. Go with the angels beautiful Bosley and watch over your poor Mother from the Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ari.g Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 So sorry :cry: RIP Bosley <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvmybulldog Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 So sorry for your loss Maddy - I understand your heartbreak, I lost my boy in June to this and he too showed no symptoms. Your beautiful tribute to him shows how much you love him. May you Rest in Peace Bosley. Such a horrible cancer Bosley was also epileptic so with his medication (pheno/bromide) perfectly masking the symptoms, we had no hope in hell of noticing anything wrong. Although as our vet pointed out, even if caught early enough to be treated with surgery, you can buy them another 12 months, at most. How old was your boy? Our vet seemed very surprised that it was an insulinoma, given Bosley was only four. Typical of Bosley's luck, to end up with a cancer unusual in younger dogs :/ Hoover was just short of his 11th birthday - Cancer sucks and it just doesn't seem fair that you've lost your beautiful boy so young. It's so hard to lose them, they leave such a huge empty space. I'm so sorry you had to say goodbye to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
corrie Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 Such a beautiful tribute to your special boy. I am so sorry for your loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poochmad Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 (edited) So very sorry for your loss. It was a lovely tribute. So glad he had a home with you where he was pampered. Edited October 31, 2016 by poochmad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JayGee Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 Such a beautiful tribute to your Bosley. My heart breaks for you.❤ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
westiemum Posted November 1, 2016 Share Posted November 1, 2016 Maddy I'm so sorry. We've just lost one of our westies from our westie and rescue group to this insidious disease - she lasted 10 months but believe me while she was well managed it was no real life. RIP beautiful man,c say hi to Mac, he'll show you the ropes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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