westiemum Posted October 8, 2016 Share Posted October 8, 2016 (edited) Great post CnR - I agree. I personally think they are behaving abominably. I take Maddy's point about the negative associations - but that comes with rescue dogs too and as a dog integrates into your family those feelings will recede into the distance. Perhaps you can take the dog to meet them on neutral territory in a week or two if they still want to see her. Nope - too unsettling for the dog IMO - and the owners - send photos in a weeks time and then one at Christmas and thats it. But CnR I defer to your much deeper dog behaviour knowledge if you think this would work. Its like giving a child up for adoption - you don't go and say 'Whoops I've changed my mind'. You don't make the child suffer because you gave it up by mistake. Same here. So - so weighing it all up - I'd tell them politely to 'bugger off' and keep the dog. This is nonsense. Edited October 8, 2016 by westiemum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
westiemum Posted October 8, 2016 Share Posted October 8, 2016 (edited) Oh and as to the pressure - I understand that you are feeling that. But start to think differently about it - IMO its not pressure its manipulative emotional blackmail. And people who behave like this should not get away with it. Just my opinion. Edited October 8, 2016 by westiemum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remidog Posted October 8, 2016 Author Share Posted October 8, 2016 I understand what you're all saying and appreciate it, but these people know our address which worries me. They did seem lovely but what's stopping them from coming and taking her and leaving us out of pocket? Or saying we stole her as nothing was signed? She is such a beautiful dog and perfect for our family but the situation is just ridiculous. Hopefully we can find another perfect dog soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddy Posted October 8, 2016 Share Posted October 8, 2016 Great post CnR - I agree. I personally think they are behaving abominably. I take Maddy's point about the negative associations - but that comes with rescue dogs too and as a dog integrates into your family those feelings will recede into the distance. How? The previous owners of most rescue dogs aren't making the new owners miserable by trying to get their dogs back. I'm not sure what you thought I meant there but I think you've misinterpreted it completely- knowing that if they kept the dog, they'd be causing emotional distress to others, the fact that keeping the dog will come with conflict (and the associated stress) that will forever be part of their associations with the dog, the stress/fear that the dog will be stolen back, etc, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persephone Posted October 8, 2016 Share Posted October 8, 2016 Oh if they know where you live ... that makes it hard . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tara and Sam Posted October 8, 2016 Share Posted October 8, 2016 They have a reciept for the purchase of the dog. I would keep the dog because life will be better for the dog with you. Remidog said she has nothing bearing the previous owners signature and that's a bit of a worry. It sounds like you don't have a signed receipt. I hope you do. Ask your Father to look closely into the laws of rehoming/selling of an animal. You need to know these details just in case. The rescue girls on this forum can probably also help with the rules. They know what they are. What the previous owners are now doing is below the belt. First the distraught teens who were not caring for the dog anyway and now the partner/wife. I would keep the dog because she'll have a better life with your family and this is what it was all about until the old owners started moving the goal posts and making it about themselves. Both you and they know the dog is in a better home with you. All should start thinking about the welfare of the dog again. I would call the previous owners and tell them I'll not be returning the dog and would like to cancel their visit on Sunday because the dog has settled in nicely and she'll think they've come to take her home. It would definitely unsettle her. Perhaps you can take the dog to meet them on neutral territory in a week or two if they still want to see her. It's natural for them to miss their dog for the first few days but they don't want to keep her or they would not have gone to those lengths to find her a new home. What they're feeling is a knee jerk reaction to her absence and in a few more days they'll get used to her not being with them. He did say he does feel she is in a better home with us his words to you , so sounds like father is being pressured by the daughter , yet deep down he knows dog would be better with you I would be cancelling tomorrow as well , and wouldn;t have them come to house as mentioned the dog was advertised for a few weeks , so you have a few weeks to make your decision something about this just doesnt feel right to me personally I would be keeping the dog and be sure to get stat dec into your name and make sure all things legally bounding Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
westiemum Posted October 8, 2016 Share Posted October 8, 2016 Maddy, while I understand where you're coming from, previous owners of surrender rescue dogs can make your life miserable regardless of how well you manage the surrender as I demonstrated in a previous post. And I still think these people are behaving dreadfully and hurting Remi's family and making them pay for their mistake. And the fact that the dogs welfare is not even registering in their thinking supports this view IMO. I don't think it should work like this, nor should mature adults behave like this. But happy to agree to disagree. But I understand if Remi decides to give the dog back. If you decide to do this, take careful note of whether they come prepared to pay you your money back. If not them don't give them the dog and tell them to come back with your cash. Anyway, if you do give the dog back, I'm sure people here will help you find the perfect dog for your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asal Posted October 8, 2016 Share Posted October 8, 2016 (edited) oops Edited October 8, 2016 by asal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asal Posted October 8, 2016 Share Posted October 8, 2016 I have rehomed (taken in and kept for the rest of their days over the years) two dogs in the past whose owners couldn't keep them, they were welcome to visit whenever they liked. The deal was if I wasnt home and couldnt get me on the phone to leave a note pegged to to gate if they wanted to take their dog out for the day. worked well. In both instances they had had to move into flats and were not allowed to keep their dog. One in the city, the other at the Snowy. He was one of the lucky ones when the landslide hit, His dog Indi was amazing, still miss the old boy although have his descendants to remind me of him. Shame so much pressure is being put on you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asal Posted October 8, 2016 Share Posted October 8, 2016 I have rehomed (taken in and kept for the rest of their days over the years) two dogs in the past whose owners couldn't keep them, they were welcome to visit whenever they liked. The deal was if I wasnt home and couldnt get me on the phone to leave a note pegged to to gate if they wanted to take their dog out for the day. worked well. In both instances they had had to move into flats and were not allowed to keep their dog. One in the city, the other at the Snowy. He was one of the lucky ones when the landslide hit, His dog Indi was amazing, still miss the old boy although have his descendants to remind me of him. Shame so much pressure is being put on you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
westiemum Posted October 8, 2016 Share Posted October 8, 2016 Oh if they know where you live ... that makes it hard . Actually Perse on this rare occasion I don't agree. Even if they didn't know where Remis family lived its not too hard to find out anyway. And Remi if you keep the dog and you are worried that the dog will be stolen and its chipped in your name and you've paid for the dog guess the first place the police will go? And you manage it with a couple of backyard cameras. But... if you feel its better to give the dog back thats perfectly understandable too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mita Posted October 8, 2016 Share Posted October 8, 2016 I agree with the direction Westie & CavNrott are coming from. That family needs some firm words about being responsible for the consequences of their actions. Other people who acted totally correctly in replying to their notice of sale & then completing the sale, shouldn't shoulder the consequences of their being all over the place in what they want.. There's two adults... a bloke & his partner ... who need to behave like adults, not moody teenagers. But, having said that, Remidog, you don't have to take up the burden of trying to enlighten these people how to behave. So I understand those who advise, as much as it distresses, to consider just giving the poor dog back to avoid the stress of their shilly shallying. And I agree with Westie's cautions about how to proceed with any giveback. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cavNrott Posted October 8, 2016 Share Posted October 8, 2016 I understand what you're all saying and appreciate it, but these people know our address which worries me. They did seem lovely but what's stopping them from coming and taking her and leaving us out of pocket? Or saying we stole her as nothing was signed? She is such a beautiful dog and perfect for our family but the situation is just ridiculous. Hopefully we can find another perfect dog soon Please don't give up on this dog yet. She needs a new home. Her loopy previous owners know that. So you don't have a signed receipt for your payment for this dog. Bad move on your part. When you pay cash for anything at all, you get a signed receipt. I know that's not helpful right now but it had to be said. You may have enough documentation to prove ownership anyway. Especially as the vet has also been informed of the change of ownership. Unless you thought they were bit unscrupulous they probably won't come to your house and steal your dog. Law abiding citizens don't do that stuff. I doubt breaking and entering would be on their bucket list. The courts hand out jail time for that kind of behaviour. You're home and will be with the dog most of the time and when you need to go out you can either crate the dog inside or leave her loose in the locked house. If this was me and I thought the dog would be better in it's previous home I would hand her back. However the dog is better with you so I would not hand her back. We need to remember this is about the dog and what is best for her. If you need to engage in some slightly uncomfortable conversation with the previous owners...so be it. This dog is worth it isn't she? If you give her back she'll be on the market for a new home again once the novelty of having her back with them wears off. If you do decide you're prepared to advocate for her and want to keep her, when the owners arrive tomorrow have a receipt already written out and ask whichever adult you gave the money to, to sign it. Note on the receipt what the payment is for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
westiemum Posted October 8, 2016 Share Posted October 8, 2016 (edited) Yep - good posts Mita and CnR. The dogs welfare is central to this mess IMO. Remi is there any way that your Dad could be there to help tomorrow? I actually have no idea but just a thought that someone used to dealing with tricky situations might be helpful. ETA: If your Dad is there it might help to take the emotion out of it. Sort of a mediator. Edited October 8, 2016 by westiemum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cavNrott Posted October 8, 2016 Share Posted October 8, 2016 Great post CnR - I agree. I personally think they are behaving abominably. I take Maddy's point about the negative associations - but that comes with rescue dogs too and as a dog integrates into your family those feelings will recede into the distance. Perhaps you can take the dog to meet them on neutral territory in a week or two if they still want to see her. Nope - too unsettling for the dog IMO - and the owners - send photos in a weeks time and then one at Christmas and thats it. But CnR I defer to your much deeper dog behaviour knowledge if you think this would work. So - so weighing it all up - I'd tell them politely to 'bugger off' and keep the dog. This is nonsense. I don't have any more dog behaviour knowledge than you Westiemum but thank you for the compliment. You're right about not letting them meet up with the dog on neutral territory. It probably would be unsettling for her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddy Posted October 8, 2016 Share Posted October 8, 2016 Maddy, while I understand where you're coming from, previous owners of surrender rescue dogs can make your life miserable regardless of how well you manage the surrender as I demonstrated in a previous post. And I still think these people are behaving dreadfully and hurting Remi's family and making them pay for their mistake. And the fact that the dogs welfare is not even registering in their thinking supports this view IMO. I don't think it should work like this, nor should mature adults behave like this. But happy to agree to disagree. But I understand if Remi decides to give the dog back. If you decide to do this, take careful note of whether they come prepared to pay you your money back. If not them don't give them the dog and tell them to come back with your cash. Anyway, if you do give the dog back, I'm sure people here will help you find the perfect dog for your family. That is an assumption that has been made here. It's easy to judge these people and their motivations but I think it's going to be very one-sided because we only get one side of the story. We don't know the details of the previous owners' situation and by the new owner's admission, the dog was obviously cared for. I just don't think any of us has enough information to base the decision on the dog's welfare and what that leaves is the people. And to me, that's a very easy one: far less stress, hassle and potential heartbreak in just getting a young dog from a breeder As for issues with previous owners and surrenders.. I've never had any issues with dogs surrendered from pet homes. Owners sign a surrender form when they drop the dog off and with that, they sign away any rights to contact with the dog, end of story. They can hassle me if they want to (although none ever has) but the new owner will never have to deal with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
westiemum Posted October 8, 2016 Share Posted October 8, 2016 Fair enough. I've been hassled despite doing everything by the book and I think these are the type of people who could be a problem. I hope Remi is able to work her way through this tomorrow what ever happens without too much grief. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JulesP Posted October 8, 2016 Share Posted October 8, 2016 That is an assumption that has been made here. It's easy to judge these people and their motivations but I think it's going to be very one-sided because we only get one side of the story. We don't know the details of the previous owners' situation and by the new owner's admission, the dog was obviously cared for. I just don't think any of us has enough information to base the decision on the dog's welfare and what that leaves is the people. And to me, that's a very easy one: far less stress, hassle and potential heartbreak in just getting a young dog from a breeder Agree. The old owners could have come on here and started a thread about this from their side and I am sure that people would have been hoping they got the dog back. Sometimes you just don't know how much something is going to hurt until you have done it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Two Best Dogs! Posted October 8, 2016 Share Posted October 8, 2016 (edited) Agreed with Maddy. We have very little to go on about the other people and the level of care this GSD will receive on return and who is the ""better"" owner. Seems this GSD is likely to be alright no matter which home, sounds like a well adjusted, healthy and happy dog they raised. Better that remi have their meeting with them tomorrow to find out what's up, why the second thoughts, talk things out and together everyone to make a decision. Chances are they are feeling as stressed as remi and that's why they're getting these disjointed communications. People panic when scared or think they'll never see someone again. But if they can sit down and talk, come to an agreement, better that than for both sides to part in bad feelings and confusion. I'm hoping remi is sleeping and not reading all these wondering and what ifs. Best to go into it as calm as possible, get an answer so this can be put behind ???? (I know, if it were me I'd be on this forum going around in circles on worst case scenarios and freaking myself out! ???? And probably return the dog. But the two days of fretting would not be fun!) Edit. You all type faster than me... now I am a broken record hah! Edited October 8, 2016 by Thistle the dog Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mita Posted October 8, 2016 Share Posted October 8, 2016 (edited) The facts speak for themselves. Dog advertised for sale, dog bought by purchaser, vendor hands over dog, receives money to complete the sale. Vendors then contact purchasers wanting dog back. My assessment stands. But, speaking only for myself, I wouldn't take on the burden of enlightening these people how to live with the consequences of their actions. I'm not their mother or their maid. I'd give the dog back & put my time and energy into locating a dog from another source where a completed sale was treated as a completed sale. Taking care, as Westie's pointed out, that the details surrounding the handback are kosher. Edited October 8, 2016 by mita Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now