I Rejected The Perfect Pet Adoption Family For The Wrong Reasons

[Little Gifts]

I have to say there are plenty of applicants out there who expect that just because they are interested in the dog, they have an automatic entitlement to the dog. You would not believe the number of times I've seen people say: "I want to adopt x dog. What's your address? Coming to pick it up." recently a foster carer got subjected to a lot of abuse and anger just because she wanted to have a chat and have the applicant fill out the application form. The applicant assumed it was like a pet shop system where just because you want something you can buy it ...

I remember the RSPCA had an adoption day where all private rescues could come together and people could come and look at a range of dogs. Back when Peiradise was operating we were there one year and I had a lady with her two kids and a leash in her hand who would not leave. She had done a meet and greet with a pei she liked in a closed off area. The dog showed absolutely no interest in her or her kids. The dog was a bit of a runner and had some prey drive and this lady had no fences and kept chickens in her back yard. She just would not accept that the dog was not going home with her.

[BigDaz]

I was talking to a mum at my son's school who is very excited to be getting a new puppy. They had wanted to get a rescue puppy, but the process put them off, they felt interrogated and not really sure if they would be given the pup, from a well known Sydney rescue. So in the end they went to a BYB It is a shame that people end up feeling this way about rescue. I'll be helping them with some training once they settle the puppy in.

The felt interrogated because the answers they were giving were not in line with the rescues expectations? Now they have a pup the kids can play with when they feel like it otherwise it is left outside 24 hours a day? What I am saying is that your response is too short on detail to be able to judge the situation objectively, maybe there is a reason they found the process difficult. Mybe they were poor potential owners and with rescue puppies less common than older dogs there may have been much better families out there.

Good friends of mine, good jobs, well educated asked me about a rescue dog. I asked them why they wanted a dog, the answer was because their son wanted one. I asked if the dog would be allowed inside at all, the answer was no. The end result would be a dog left outside alone for 23.5 hours a day when the kid finds world of war craft more exciting. People have differing opinions on inside\outside dogs, but personally I would not want to see a dog living under these conditions.

[Malti]

Rescuers can also get one chance to pick the right home for the dog, you can't say it is okay for the dog to be outside and in 10yrs call them and ask them to bring the dog inside, or if the dog is no good with children, no matter how savvy the children are with dogs, if the dog bites or attacks they can put that dog to sleep because they are now the owner of the dog. If their fences are 4ft and has holes in it, the dog can get out and easily end up in a multitude of situations no one wants.

As much as the articles talk or rescues being unreasonable, sometimes potential adopters are unreasonable, they want to fit the circle dog into their square shaped home no matter what.

From personal experience I have had to pick up the pieces of a rescue dog, four years after adoption, the first rescuer was pay the money, get the dog, so I got a dog that had been an outside dog for 4 yrs, now 14yrs old, totally blind, filthy, rotten mouth of teeth, untreated heart condition.

Did I get jaded? I sure did, not with the adopter of this dog (not that I would give them a dog to live its life - outside a small fluffy), but the rescue that rehomed this dog and got cash in their hand whilst I got a huge vet bill with an ancient dog. Rescuers want to rescue, I believe they need to uphold a high standard because if a dog gets in that state, I don't think they are any better than a BYBer, and as soon as the cash goes in their hand, they stop caring. They sure as hell didn't want the dog back 4yrs later.

There is a balance in this, it is not one or the other, it is not one size fits all, a no does not mean the applicant shouldn't own a dog, nor does it mean the rescue failed, their first priority is to the dog, not to people pleasing.

Often ones run around screaming that rescues should find reasons to say yes, not no, are the ones doing potential adopter studies or don't rescue, because the truth it, it is not easy, and it is much easier to judge on the side line.

[Kavik]

These people I talked to are very keen, asking me lots of questions and open to suggestions and want to do the right thing by the pup and training :)

[Diana R]

I don't comment on DOL much, and I can COMPLETELY understand the perspective of many rescues because I've been there, but in a shelter role rather than a rescue role. That said, from my perspective now (as a researcher who works in companion animal welfare and behaviour) there's a few things that get left out of these conversations.

We don't have a huge amount of research in the areas of placement success and relinquishment, but the research we do have consistently gives a few messages.

- The bond that people have, or don't have, with their pets is the single most important factor in a pet keeping their home. When you look at populations of owned dogs, bonded owners who have the means to do so, work through all means of behavioural, situational and financial problems to keep their pets.

- That bond is built largely on a match between owner expectations and the reality of living with the particular dog/cat/pocket pet that they have acquired, and very importantly, the foundations of the bond are laid in the first 2-3 weeks - if you can get owners through the 'bumps' during that time and they are still committed to their pet afterwards, there's an excellent chance that the pet has a home for life.

- When we look at why relinquishers give up their pets, we find that in the absence of severely limiting factors (divorce, escaping an abusive partner, live-changing injuries or illness etc.), there's usually been a long history of a partially broken bond between owner and pet, and a series of issues (behaviour of pet, animal needs care that the owner can't afford, pet needs more X than owner can or feels able to give) that haven't been resolved. Often effective support and some education (to help lessen the gap between expectations and reality) can prevent relinquishment AND result in a better owner-pet bond afterwards.

- Most importantly, people seek help from sources they perceive as trustworthy AND approachable.

What all that means for adoption placements is that putting bare basics aside (i.e. is the owner able to safely house the dog OR willing to make changes so that they can), conversations with potentil adopters need to focus on what THEY expect from their new pet and how well the animal in question meets those expectations. There are absolutely cases where people have unrealistic expectations of how the adoption process should proceed and how a pet will fit in with their lives, but the best way to address that issue (so that any pet they get has a good chance of staying in their home) is to have an open, honest conversation with them about it. The focus shouldn't be on whether an owner meets the expectations of the welfare org/rescue, but rather about who the pet is and who the potential home is.

The beauty of an open, conversational approach (as a few people have demonstrated already here) is that it puts the rescue/welfare person in the position of trustworthy adviser, and that means they will be an early port of call in the event that things go wrong (amd even when they go fabulously) in the future.

[Kavik]

I don't mean to come across as rescue bashing, just posting what the lady said to me about why she decided to not get the rescue dog they had been planning on, and how they felt about their experience with the process. My experience with the process of adopting a rescue was good, went to someone who was fostering puppies, was allowed to choose the one I wanted etc, that was over 15 years ago :)

[Diana R]

I don't think raising concerns that good owners maybe are being routinely overlooked and turned off getting their animal through rescue is rescue bashing at all (obviously done respectfully as you have here). People can't address a problem if they don't know about it - how each person or org chooses to use that info is up to them, but the info itself isn't a problem :)

I know that the default answer in these discussions is 'it's the rescue's dog and they can do what they want with it', and that's true, but it's also true that the right conversation with a potential adopter can help put them on the path to being an owner who sources the right dog, from a place that will take into account how well the dog and owner match, which gives them an excellent chance of being a life-long owner of their new pet, and that means less work for rescues in the future.

It's not always going to work out that way, but the times it's does work have a lasting and snowballing effect, so it's worth the disappointment IMO.