*kirty* Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 (edited) Am in a crappy situation and not sure how to handle it. I am currently minding a colleague's dog, a 1.5yo Aussie Shepherd (for reference, not my boss's dog). Colleague is also a wonderful friend, very selfless and has a lot on her plate. This is the first time she has been on a holiday in years. I brought the dog home last week and she was incredibly stressed and anxious. This surprised me because she normally comes off as boisterous and silly. In hindsight, I should have realised this was anxiety. She is with my friend 24/7. My friend is a very soft dog owner, and this dog rules the roost. She has zero manners around people or dogs, jumping all over people, knocking over other dogs, etc. Anyway, on her first night home I was sitting on my son's bed while he read to me. The dog was sitting next to me on the bed. My daughter came in and sat on the end of the bed, having a full blown tantrum. I was trying to reason with her when suddenly the dog leapt up and nipped my daughter on the face. I feel it was a warning nip, the dog was stressed to the max, etc. My daughter got a huge fright but wasn't badly hurt (bruise and red tooth mark). I was completely shocked, would never have expected that from the dog. The dog has settled a lot and is much better, but having lived with her for a week now I feel her behaviour and anxiety is not ok. But I am scared if I tell my friend what has happened she will never go on holiday again. I would have no hesitation minding the dog again but I doubt my friend will want to leave her with us. My friend is not a good doggy leader and funds are tight, I'm not sure she could afford regular training with a proper trainer. I feel so torn. If my friend was there I don't think the dog would bite anyone, but her anxiety seems very bad when she is away from my friend. What do I do? How do I handle this? ETA the dog is fine with my daughter now and my daughter understands that she scared the dog. The dog potters around the house with the kids but is still terrified of my husband. Edited April 1, 2015 by *kirty* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Gifts Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 This is really tricky but your friend obviously loves her dog so why not focus it that way? You were so worried for the dog's anxiety levels and being a pet owner yourself you know that is not normal or healthy and that for the sake of the dog isn't it worth trying to resolve whatever issues can be resolved? She may never end up with the perfect dog but it will hopefully be happier and more content. I bet your friend is already well aware of the issue and is hoping the dog was ok while she was gone. All you are doing is confirming with love and kindness and the best interests of the dog that it wasn't. And at least if she sees a behaviouralist she will get tools to manage any problems that wont ever go away. As the good friend you are can let her know what you are willing to do to help, which obviously includes caring for the dog if she goes away again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Spotted Devil Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 You really do have a responsibility to inform her - at the very least so she doesn't put someone else in the same situation. I'm glad your beautiful girl is ok Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*kirty* Posted April 1, 2015 Author Share Posted April 1, 2015 She told me the dog could be flighty around strange men, but I was totally unprepared for how stressed she would be. I know she will be shocked and mortified when she finds out the dog bit my daughter. She adores all animals but isn't very cluey about training or behaviour. The dog dictates her life... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Spotted Devil Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 (edited) She told me the dog could be flighty around strange men, but I was totally unprepared for how stressed she would be. I know she will be shocked and mortified when she finds out the dog bit my daughter. She adores all animals but isn't very cluey about training or behaviour. The dog dictates her life... I often find myself having to give people a sharp dose of reality. It's not pleasant at all but I need to ensure I have been 100% honest about what might happen next time. I have to know that I have done my best to protect someone (dog, child, adult) who can't protect themselves. Edited April 1, 2015 by The Spotted Devil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*kirty* Posted April 1, 2015 Author Share Posted April 1, 2015 Thanks Sal, Holly is fine. She is a tough nut. She likes the dog and understands that the dog was terrified. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simply Grand Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 (edited) Oh no, how difficult I think you have to tell her the full story of happened, as you have told us. I would hate for something like that to happen with mine and not to know about it. And don't forget, if she isn't aware and you are not available next time she could leave the dog with someone less savvy and understanding than you and end up with a real problem. You are a considerate and reasonable person and I'm sure she will understand you are just trying to help her, and you can't be responsible for whether or not she can go on holiday. Just thinking actually, maybe don't tell her very first thing when she gets back, just say her girl really missed her and was anxious without her in a strange place, then the next day tell her the full story? Just so she doesn't feel like she went straight from the high of the holiday to a problem with the dog. But i do think you have to tell her quickly what happened. Edited April 1, 2015 by Simply Grand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Spotted Devil Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Thanks Sal, Holly is fine. She is a tough nut. She likes the dog and understands that the dog was terrified. Yep - she's a smart kid. Very sensible :) But the next kid might not be so lucky. I had a client's young kid get in the face of their recently adopted terrier when it was growling at the novelty of me entering the space. It was a terrifying accident waiting to happen but kids are incredibly unpredictable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*kirty* Posted April 1, 2015 Author Share Posted April 1, 2015 (edited) I might pop round to her place on the weekend with a bottle of wine... Edited April 1, 2015 by *kirty* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VizslaMomma Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 She told me the dog could be flighty around strange men, but I was totally unprepared for how stressed she would be. I know she will be shocked and mortified when she finds out the dog bit my daughter. She adores all animals but isn't very cluey about training or behaviour. The dog dictates her life... my .2c For your OWN sake, be forthright regarding the dog. The owner needs the truth. Better to come from you than a ranger or a worse scenario. Be blunt. I dont see this as a time for sweetness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest donatella Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Definitely tell her if she's dog savvy she will probably want the opportunity to work on the issues, she probably doesn't understand the extent of the anxiety. I have an anxious dog and have been working with a trainer for which I am thankful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christina Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Of course you have to tell her even if only for future reference that the dog is no good around children having tantrums so that she can avoid such situations with the dog, like maybe not going to childrens playgrounds where they are all running around shrieking etc. Its up to her whether she has holidays or not in the future. Meanwhile maybe try the dog on some Tranquil Paste. Its good for horses & dogs & is available from fodder stores for about $20. I used to use it on my boys when the girls were on heat & not to be mated . They get quite upset, howling & wailing & sometimes losing appetite. It works quite well & doesn't make them dopey or anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simply Grand Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 She told me the dog could be flighty around strange men, but I was totally unprepared for how stressed she would be. I know she will be shocked and mortified when she finds out the dog bit my daughter. She adores all animals but isn't very cluey about training or behaviour. The dog dictates her life... Just watching Quinn going to open the oven, as she does, with food in it, and calling off with me just saying "Quinn, don't". And she is a confident and assertive Aussie. They are SO trainable, what a pity your colleague doesn't have the knowledge or confidence to do more training with hers Not that you can do anything about that, other than suggest/hope she gets some help from someone. Feel for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*kirty* Posted April 1, 2015 Author Share Posted April 1, 2015 Yep, the difference between my boss's Aussie and this dog is amazing. She has always been very full-on, I believe the breeder was wrong to give this pup to my friend. My friend wanted a laid back Aussie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirislin Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 is there a way you can pair the information about how it was and what it did with education, without coming over as a know it all pain in the bum. Explain the need for her to back off with the attention on the dog so it learns to think a bit more independently and be comfortable in its own shell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stressmagnet Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Bottle of wine. Next day. Sit her down and let her have a couple of glasses and debrief her holiday. Then gently tell her what happened, stressing it got handled. Suggest a trainer or if she can't afford that, talk about NILF and how she herself, is stressing the dog by forcing it into a leadership role. Suggest training books as a way to deepen the bond between her and her dog. You MUST tell her, but I DO THINK in this partcular case, that a soft approach is warranted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darien Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I agree, your friend must be told, what if it happened again and your friend, not being dog savvy, screamed and escalated the problem? Just tell it as it is, no fault or blame, but just letting her know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Her Majesty Dogmad Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 It was kind of you to mind her dog but I'd suggest that you might not allow the dog on the bed or interact too much with them except for daily walks, feeding etc for a couple of weeks, when they are new to your home. This is what I do with fosters and it just allows them to settle in and understand how the house works. Unless they are very familiar with a home through visiting etc, most dogs are going to feel some level of stress at being moved to a new environment. Unless a dog you are minding is very well known to you, you simply don't know what they are capable of and they can behave differently in every situation. My neighbour has an Aussie Shepherd and she's also very highly strung, they are magnificent dogs but I would never want one. His dog broke into my house on a regular basis for 2 years and I'd come home to chaos .... in the end they had to put up an electric fence to keep her in - they are very much the wrong home for a working breed to start with but her escaping was all anxiety based. I would obviously tell your friend what happened but she also needs to understand that her dog is sensitive and I hope she doesn't take it all the wrong way and feel differently towards her dog. Most people are just normal dog owners, they don't necessarily have the experience to process this sort of information and not blame the dog. I hope she does understand for the dog's sake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*kirty* Posted April 1, 2015 Author Share Posted April 1, 2015 Jane I have known this dog since she was 8 weeks old. I see her 2-3 times a week. She isn't a foster, and she was only going to be here a week so I had no problem allowing her on the furniture as that is what she is used to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kajtek Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 (edited) My 2 are generally well behaved and calm. I am not sure how they would react given the situation you have described ie the dog stressed 'to the max' and the human in severe distress. I suspect they would 'loose their head' too. Edited April 1, 2015 by Kajtek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now