Time To Say Goodbye

[Mum to Emma]

As some of you may know my beautiful Kiska has advanced bladder cancer, and I believe the time has now come to say goodbye, no matter how much I don't want to lose her. She will be 14 in August and sleeps a lot more now anyway, but she has now become lethargic and sad. She rarely wants to play with my other dog maggie and her urine output has slowed down. She is still eating ok, but its the sadness and tiredness I can't bear to watch and it will only get worse now.

The problem I have is with my husband, as he says she is fine for a while longer and that she looks alert etc. It's true, sometimes she does look alert, but it's getting fewer times now. I need for him to see it for himself and to not cause Kiska any more grief. She has been a beautiful girl and I don't want to watch her go any further downhill. What would you do?He just won't see it and I don't know how to make him see it. I could and will make him go to the vet with me and get the vet to talk to him, but I would prefer to use that as a last resort.....he has to let go too. for her and his sake, no matter how much it hurts

gentle hugs to you Darien

My parents are doing the same too

Their Cardigan Corgi is almost 15 yrs old and sleeps most of the day/night & when she is awake, walks around in a confused state...both Mum & Dad can't or rather won't see Megan for how she is and being their last dog, both parents are now into their 70's, are finding hard to approach the idea of the final goodbye.

Sadly a bit like your husband, it will take something to happen & the vet to talk to them, rather than them make the final choice themselves...

To be fair to your parents ( and obviously not having seen the dog personally) she just sounds like an old dog. If she doesn't have a terminal or chronic illness, is eating and drinking well, and is not incontinent, but is just 'confused' , which doesn't necessarily mean she's distressed, I don't see what the problem is. Is she aware of your parents' presence and greet them when they return?

I only say this because Emma is old, blind, and could be called at times confused, AND sleeps much of the day, but she loves to stand in the sun with her nose in the air sniffing the wind. She gets up from wherever she is and comes to greet me with a gentle wag of the tail when I come home from work. And every morning stands by the front door waiting for a walk, even though we only get about 100 metres.

[Aleksandra 157]

Thoughts with you, Darien ....it is so very hard ,but better a day early ,than a day too late x Hugs ,Alex.

[Tara and Sam]

I feel for you Darien as my OH couldnt accept the fact it was time for my Tara ,, then when I spoke to him about it ,( everytime I tried to raise the subject he wouldnt talk about it )

I made the decision and said Vet coming tomorrow to give her her wings

then OH "talked" the vet into some more blood work to make sure , and then it was delayed until tests came back , but they got lost , had to wait a week before she had her wings , it was heartbreaking

but I knew myself she should have had her wings earlier as her quality just wasnt there anymore she was just over 15 yrs , ate well but just walked around in circles and got caught behing doors etc , messing inside

I held on for as long as I could but realised it was about her and not me / us

Tara didnt really give us a sign , I just knew in my heart it was the right time for her , and should have been that bit earlier

I didnt hesitate when Tynka ( who had cancer ) she lasted longer than expected and vet assured me there was no pain ,ate well and still walked around and tried to play , then one night she had a bad night and I knew it was time ,first time ever next morning she didnt eat , she was booked for that day but she passed away before vet arrived

I knew her sign of her telling me it was time that night and I didnt hesistate for her sake

It is heartbreaking , but do what your heart tells you to for her sake

and remember all those great memories you have in your heart

[Rebanne]

Huge hugs to you both.

[White Shepherd mom]

I feel for you Darien, and everyone else who has been there. Both my dogs got ill fast at the end, they lay dying when the vet's final needle went in and I still had my husband say it was too soon. The hardest decisions I've EVER had to make in my life and I needed his strength and support but instead I had to justify this final act while having him put doubt in my mind.

I am glad that you spoke to your husband and made him understand. I hope he supports you fully when the time comes to say goodbye to Kriska.

Sending you big hugs for the heartache that is coming.

[westiemum]

Darien big hugs to you for whats coming. In some ways I'm pleased it will be only me who has to make these decisions, hard though it will be

[Loving my Oldies]

Their Cardigan Corgi is almost 15 yrs old and sleeps most of the day/night & when she is awake, walks around in a confused state...both Mum & Dad can't or rather won't see Megan for how she is and being their last dog, both parents are now into their 70's, are finding hard to approach the idea of the final goodbye.

Sadly a bit like your husband, it will take something to happen & the vet to talk to them, rather than them make the final choice themselves...

As much as I am loath to admit it because I do know how agism is alive and well in all corners, I am nearly 70 and cannot see what age has got to do with it. It annoys me when people play on it to get sympathy or special treatment. All my dogs are elderly and there is no way on earth that I would allow them to suffer because "I couldn't or wouldn't see it." I estimate that my dogs and Gussy Cat will all start crossing the bridge during the next 5 to 7 years and when that has happened, if I am still around, I don't plan on being dogless. I will be a foster carer for the oldies. :D :D

Having heaved that off my chest, my thoughts are with you Kiska, Darien.