If You're Having A Baby, Don't Get A Dog

[Steph M]

Allow me to cheer you all up a bit. I know someone who has an elderly dog. When she was pregnant she asked for advice about gettin a pen. I said it might be a good idea. That way the dog would be safe. She said, 'Not for my dog. I was thinking of putting the baby in there. I don't want the baby to bother the dog.'

I can dig it....

[OSoSwift]

I can assure you there are many of us that do not feel as she does.

I had two dogs and 3 indoor 24/7 cats when I brought my first baby home. Yes the first few months were hectic but we lived on acerage and have 5 acres around the house I could run them in. Both dogs were older adults so very undemanding. The cats slept in our bed and we made an old fashioned "meat safe" cot so our cats could continue as they had. I also had horses, my mare foaled 12 weeks after my first son.

When I was pregnant with number 2 my dog became ill and died 7 weeks before he was born. It really killed me. I wanted another dog but waited as I didn't know what sort of baby I was going to have. We still had 3 indoor cats.

Child number 2 was born, there were difficulties and I really struggled and ended up with PTSD and depression. I felt I was going mad. Number two was a very laid back baby.

A pup became available and was a laid back puppy, so I ended up with a 2 and a half year old, 5 month old and an 8 week old puppy. She was and is my saviour. Along the way we have lost two of those old cats, but we got three more and now have four. We have gained a few more dogs along the way and now have four. We gain two horses, a goat and a poddy lamb as well.

I love my all of my animals with all my heart as I do my kids. They are now 7 & 9. They have grown up with a swag of animals since young and love and respect them as we do.

The person that wrote that article is selfish, horrible and shouldn't have a dog. If I can have as many as I do, plus run a cattle farm and have kids she can look after one very undemanding older dog and she can do it properly. Shame on her!

[OSoSwift]

Allow me to cheer you all up a bit. I know someone who has an elderly dog. When she was pregnant she asked for advice about gettin a pen. I said it might be a good idea. That way the dog would be safe. She said, 'Not for my dog. I was thinking of putting the baby in there. I don't want the baby to bother the dog.'

I had a kid pen and a puppy pen. Both looked similar, except the puppy pen had newspaper.

Oh and I had a shocking reflux vomiting child. I just had cloth nappies everywhere! Simple!

[Stressmagnet]

Thank you for the cheering stories. I think Jasper just broke my heart.

Edited February 2, 2015 by Stressmagnet

[Weasels]

I was prepared to have some level of empathy for this woman, as someone with two working dogs who don't like kids and a fussy insomiac baby. But no, she is just a failure of a human being.

Yes it can be hard, sometimes when you get 2 minutes to yourself and a dog puts her nose on your hand it can feel like just another someone who wants a piece of you instead of a little devoted family member saying "I need some time too please". But she took on and is responsible for every life in her care. She needs to grow the f*** up.

Edited February 3, 2015 by Weasels

[OSoSwift]

Yep I agree. 13 weeks before I had bub number two my dog was diagnosed with DCM. I had an almost two year old. I managed to medicate her 4 times a day. It can be done if you care enough.

[YippeeGirl]

The person that wrote this article sounds like what I a 'fair weather' dog owner. I see some people that are like that. The dog is the centre of their universe, until something else comes along like a boyfriend or a baby, and then the dog becomes nothing but an inconvenience. We are probably about to lose our old cat to cancer and I have to say her response in regards to her sick dog absolutely disgusts me. That dog gave her the best years of its life and that's the attitude she has. What a lovely individual.

My parents somehow managed to care for three young children and two German Shepherds when I was growing up. My oldest brother was a very difficult baby, but I never once heard my mum ever say she regretted having those dogs. They gave me some of the best childhood memories I have, and in return we gave them our love. They were a part of our family, and were with us until they passed.

[Jed]

Just another shallow,self-absorbed narcissicist person.

Might put others like herself off buying a pup which can only be good.

[Stressmagnet]

I was prepared to have some level of empathy for this woman, as someone with two working dogs who don't like kids and a fussy insomiac baby. But no, she is just a failure of a human being.

Yes it can be hard, sometimes when you get 2 minutes to yourself and a dog puts her nose on your hand it can feel like just another someone who wants a piece of you instead of a little devoted family member saying "I need some time too please". But she took on and is responsible for every life in her care. She needs to grow the f*** up.

YES TO THIS. Thank you.

[Malakita]

Her story made my heart break particularly when she said that was the last nice thing they ever did for him. I do empathize for her.

So many of you slammed her, branding her a less than perfect owner.

I am not defending her actions but I can understand how and why it all went so wrong. Too many people think a dog is just a dog. No biggie. And they assume when people who own dogs will just give up their dogs simply because children come into the equation. After all, it is just a dog.

I have two dogs now and if children came along ( never going to happen ) they would never be shafted just because of children. But I know people would give me ther misguided 2 cents.

We have to to realize that here on this forum, we are not your average dog owners. We are committed to our dogs for life, no matter what. We will go to the ends of the earth to be dedicated owners. And we need to remember that most of the public are not like this.

For example, I told someone recently we want to take (drive) our dogs across 1 or 2 states for a few short trips. He looked at me Iike I was crazy. He said kennel them. Then I felt I was justifying myself as to why I am bringing them along. They don't understand.

And to cowanbree, I felt fat drops of tears fall when I read your post about Jasper. I am so sorry.

[OSoSwift]

She is a less than perfect owner.

[Dame Aussie]

I'm not going to lower my standards just because lots of people are shit owners. She sucks.

[Simply Grand]

I don't judge her negatively for her feelings, if for whatever reason she can't or doesn't want to properly look after the dog any more then she absolutely owes it to him to find someone who will. That's what makes me angry. This wasn't just a momentary overwhelmed vent, this is years of resenting and neglecting this dog and still keeping him in that situation. it isn't fair, the dog cannot change his situation himself

[Stressmagnet]

I don't think I judged her for focussing on her new baby in the beginning.

What makes me angry is the whole tone of the piece. She accurately and succinctly describes how she is neglecting her dog.

So she's aware she's useless.

And yet, apparently, she's going to continue doing it.

I guess so she can write an editorial piece in Slate while her dog suffers in misery from she knows not what and stays uninvolved in her life.

But hey! she got to write on the Interwebz and maybe she'll become famous.

Piece

Of

Crap

Human

Being.

And I'm a far from perfect dog owner.

[Her Majesty Dogmad]

What a sad story. As a rescuer I can unfortunately say it isn't an uncommon situation - so many people tell me that once they had a baby, the dog "had to go outside". Here's one recent example:

My friend recently rescued a small dog from that situation, loved dearly apparently - along with a sibling - for 11 years until the owners had a baby.

Both dogs consigned to permanently live outside with no attention other than being given a bowl of food each day, no more walks - no time the owners said.

After a couple of years, they were so stressed by having a toddler they decided to pass their 13 yr old dogs into rescue. Because they delayed this "very distressing decision" - their own words, one dog died.

When my friend went to meet the other dog, she found him in a small yard with waist high grass. Owner said "all he does is sit in his kennel all day long". My friend said "what do you expect"??

They said he loves toys - there were none. She brought him home and he stockpiled all her dogs' toys into a bed and lay amongst them, it brought tears to our eyes.

He was the most amazing and beautiful little dog and has just found a lovely home ... thank God. I worry about all those for whom rescue never comes.

At the other end of the scale are owners who "only bought the dog for the children and now they've left home" and dog has to go.

[cowanbree]

That is a lovely story HMD, great to hear he is now living the life he should.

There are all sorts of owners out there that really shouldn't own dogs sadly. They may not abuse them but neglect is just as bad. I am currently living next door (an acre away) to a neighbour with Goldie that almost never gets out of her tiny kennel and run. I actually thought she had died or been rehomed as it has been years since I have seen her even out in her yard but talking to the father of the owner he tells me she just never gets out. Not only an outside dog but no care and attention at all. I have offered to take and rehome her but I don't think that is likely and given she has food, water and shelter there is absolutely nothing I can do. It makes me very sad.

[DogsAndTheMob]

This story from the NZ Herald shows another parent's very different attitude to owning a pet... but be warned, the subject matter (childhood cancer) is very distressing.

Charlie the cat

I don't condone allowing cats to roam, but I think the story is worth reading, despite this.

[Sheridan]

Were I the managing editor of Slate, I would fire her, not give her a reference, and report her for animal neglect.

[YOLO]

I haven't really read the article in question.

Years ago I bought my wife a darling GSP. Beautiful dog and my wife got plenty of exercise taking her on daily long walks.

We had a minor issue in that the dog would try to "boss" our youngest child around, but it was working out ok and she was learning her place in the family.

She was hyper-exuberant (even for a GSP) but that wasn't a problem and we were training her.

Then my wife became pregnant again, unexpectedly. We knew from previous pregnancies that she would get extremely sick, extremely tired, have such bad back & hip pain that she could barely walk. Her ability to exercise and train our GSP was going, I wasn't at home enough, and our other children weren't old enough to do it alone. Furthermore we worried that she might actually be too exuberant for a pregnant lady and later for a toddler.

With much pain in our hearts we found her a home, literally on a small farm with paddocks to race around, an active family, and a lady who was keen to do obedience and field work. It was hard. We caught up with her a few times, and it was clear we had made the best decision for her. I don't doubt that she missed us, but she was young and readily fitted into her new family, and positively thrived in her new environment.

[hankdog]

Yep another dog saved my sanity mom here. Having to go for a walk every day was time well spent with my kids, it got us all out the house and into fresh air. Yea everyone was covered in hair, there are worse things. I cried into that lovely long hair on bad days, brushing out that hair calmed me when I had other things in mind for that brush. I'm pretty sure that dog heard more tears and secrets than any shrink.

Sounds like the woman just isn't coping with her family and the dog's paying the price, at least she recognizes it.