What Would You Have Done?

[Stressmagnet]

So today was ernie's regular beach day. I took him and the girls down to the dog beach area of a popular beach near our home.

Normally I stay away from off leash areas as Ernie has yet to develop a reliable recall and he's excessively friendly to man, woman, dog or stick.

However, he loves the beach as do my kids, and we've been going every week for the past 2.5 months without any incident at all. We nod to the regulars; the dogs have all been friendly so far and Ernie has a wonderful time and so do I.

Today however, left me shaken and crying. I had walked with Ernie down the length of the beach. He had been jumping in and out of the waves, chasing his tennis ball and greeting people/dogs politely (no charging, a calm walk up with wagging tail to receive a pat or a bum sniff) and on we would go. We in turn, were greeted by friendly dogs and owners alike.

I was on my way back up the beach with Ernie about 2-3 metres ahead. His usual pattern is to trot on ahead and circle back to my side at frequent intervals.

There was a group of 18-20 year old women on the beach. Ernie walked up, wagging his tail and one of the women screamed and leaped into her friends arms. As she was a solid girl, the friend dropped her to the sand where she rolled about screaming and flapping her arms. Ernie stopped bemused. I thought she was playing around, as they were all holding Breezers and because the reaction was so unexpected and (to me) extreme. I honestly thought they were horsing around. As I quickened my steps to catch Ernie, one of her friends barrelled up to me and started screaming in my face from about a hands breadth away that I was an animal and to put my effing dog on a leash. I calmly grabbed Ernie by the collar as I explained that it was an off leash area and that the vast majority of the beach that they could see in the distance was restricted and did not allow dogs. She then called me a stupid C and threatened to punch me in the face for laughing (I didn't, I did have a smile on my face for reasons mentioned) and then went to kick Ernie in the ribs. I got between her and my dog and repeated that it was an off leash beach and if her friend had a dog phobia, she was in serious trouble as I could see at least 3 dogs Ernie's size headed her way.

I then tried to keep walking but she got in front of me and again threatened to punch me in the head for being 'an animal'. At this point I'm afraid I stepped round her and shot her the finger. I had meant to apologise for scaring her friend but I started to see red myself.

I ended up crying with disappointment at a) how I handled it (badly, I think) and b) because Ernie had been having such a joyous time and so had I.

I kept him on lead until these women packed up and left.

Now, before I get jumped on, I'm NOT looking for any kind of validation of my behaviour or Ernie's, I just want some thoughts on how I could have handled it better. The dog beach is very clearly signposted every 300ms but obviously, these women weren't locals.

Edited December 21, 2014 by Stressmagnet

[Little Gifts]

Isn't it illegal to drink on the beach? I would not be impressed by that AND the fact they were drinking from glass. Even if they only leave one bottle behind that threatens all other beach users. The woman who screamed at you over reacted to what occurred and was abusive so I'm not surprised you lost it back at her. There are so few off leash options for dogs and even less options if they like the beach. If I was sitting on a beach where dogs were running untethered I would not be at all surprised to have a wet and sandy visitor and wouldn't even care if they ran over my towel. In fact I'd much rather experience that than young women drinking and abusing other beach users. As far as kicking a dog, if someone tried that on with any of mine I'm not sure I could control myself either. There is no need for threats of violence in this situation and it just shows you what kind of people they were.

You have every right to be angry at them and how they treated you and Ernie.

I once had an elderly couple call me every foul name under the sun when my SBT ran past their swf's on a leash free beach. I think they thought she was running at their dogs (she was running back to our gear on an angle from the surf) and over reacted but never bothered to apologise for the things they said. My dog was so shocked when they started yelling at her she ran back behind me like she knew she was in trouble but didn't know why. No point trying to even reason with people like that. I know she didn't do anything wrong for a dog and that is all that matters.

[OSoSwift]

Whilst it is best for dogs not to walk up to people on the beach he didn't jump on them or rush them he, walked. Had it not been an offlead beach you would have called him back, yes maybe you could have intervened and called him back sooner.

I think her reaction is over the top so she obviously does have an issue. However if it is a signposted dog beach theya re stupid to be there if she has that much of a problem. I agree it would have been polite to apologise to her friend for inadvertantly scaring her, however with that behaviour I would have told her to jam it and f off as well. Her behaviour was over the top and very agressive.

[Jemmy]

I think you made reasonable steps to 'rectify' the situation... Not the best word because Ernie didn't do anything to warrant you guys going through that. You leashed him, explained why he was off lead, and tried to move on. They tried to kick your dog, blocked you, got in your face and used obscene language... I would have seen red too.

Don't let it stop you from taking him to the beach!

[WeimMe]

1. It's a dog beach. People with dog phobias probably shouldn't be there.

2. They were probably drunk.

3. Sounds like they were the dregs of society.

I'm sorry you had this horrible experience. Had they encountered another of "their kind" I'm sure there would have been a physical fight - perhaps that's what they were spoiling for. Don't let it stop you from taking your dog to the beach. I am so tired of encountering people who think it's their right to intimidate and threaten others.

[Aleksandra 157]

I agree with all of the above.Neither you or Ernie did anything wrong .Sad you had to come across some low-life idiots ,.Don't let it deter you

from your enjoyment of the beach. :)

[JulesP]

I always stop my dogs from going up to people with no dogs. I stop them from going up to people with dogs too but take particular care with people with no dogs. And it isn't an easy task because Poppy thinks every single person in the world is her best friend ever.

[Kirislin]

some people are really aggressive and just cruising for trouble and it sounds like you copped some. Possibly drunk, drugged or both and from your description it's lucky you weren't assaulted.

I've had run ins with people like this and it doesn't matter what you say, it makes it worse.

[labadore]

Some people are just bl**dy idiots and it sounds like this group of young ladies fit that description perfectly. It really annoys me when non dog lovers go to offlead beaches and dog parks, when there are so many beaches and parks available for humans only, just unbelievable. About 6 months ago, I got into an argument with a stupid older guy who came into a dogpark with this MacDonald's breakfast and coffee with no dog and berated/abused all the owners and dogs who went over to him as he was eating his food I was so mad I stormed over and had a go at him and told him in no uncertain terms that he was a complete idiot for coming into a dogpark to have his breakfast FFS . Another time a family, this time with a dog, brought a picnic to the dogpark laying out their blanket on the ground and picnic basket and wondered why the dogs at the park were congregating around them, common sense seems to be sadly lacking these days.

I think some people get some sort of perverse pleasure out of upsetting dog owners when they go to dog areas without a dog and then abuse dog owners like yourself who are just having a great time with their dog and it gets spoiled by prats like these girls.

Sorry your outing was spoilt by these troublemakers who were probably out to ruin somebodies day and unfortunately it happened to be yours. Silly cows!

[Rosetta]

I think you were remarkably restrained actually. Talk about an overreaction by those girls! You have to be very careful in situations like this though - drunken girls armed with glasses can cause serious injury. I wonder if Ernie was the only dog who approached them - seems unlikely on an off leash beach. Absolute idiots - you were in the wrong place at the wrong time, not your fault at all.

[Purdie]

Sorry this happened to you.If someone bailed me up and threatened me like those dreadful women i would tell them i am calling the police,

Best to call dogs back and not let them go up to people and other dogs until you are sure they are fine with it and friendly.

Dog owners need to learn the body language of dogs and people to help avoid trouble.

Do not let this bad day spoil your enjoyment of the beach.

[Stressmagnet]

Thanks folks. I was pretty upset,

I'm thinking that the suggestion to stop him approaching everyone is a good one. Obviously on lead - that's an easy task. Offers? Not sure how to even begin! JulesP - any tips?

[Stressmagnet]

Purdie- totally agree. Anyone got tips on a good dog body language book? Oh wait - need. People. One. Too. I've got so much to work on with Ernie, it's daunting.

I guess I'm naive.

It never occurred to me folks who didn't like dogs would react this way. And yeah, I think they were drunk. She kept yelling over me so I couldn't explain myself.

Sigh.

I have a mental image of myself, grinning like a simpleton, with my equally simple dog (Ernie ... Bless) and those women deciding I was a target.

[Purdie]

When you encounter a group of people on the beach call him to you then clip on his lead.

Praise him then if someone asks to pat him they can only do so when he is on lead.

If he gets to people first tell him no and make him come to you or take his collar and clip the lead on even if it is for a 30 second pat or until you have gone past the group.

He will learn over time that he only gets introduced and pats / attention from people when he is on leash.

[cavNrott]

1. It's a dog beach. People with dog phobias probably shouldn't be there.

2. They were probably drunk.

3. Sounds like they were the dregs of society.

I'm sorry you had this horrible experience. Had they encountered another of "their kind" I'm sure there would have been a physical fight - perhaps that's what they were spoiling for. Don't let it stop you from taking your dog to the beach. I am so tired of encountering people who think it's their right to intimidate and threaten others.

I agree with WeimMe. These young women's behaviour was trashy and they were more than likely half cut. Thank the Gods they didn't encounter others of 'their kind' because this would have spoilt everyone's trip to the beach and probably would have ended with police involvement. They were clearly a group of badly behaved bogans.

Some people are just straight out stupid. They're too dumb to realise if they're walking in an off leash area of a dog beach chances are they will meet up with a dog or two. Under the circumstances, you behaved with a modicum of restraint (maybe minus 'the finger') but these trashy women would not recognise restrained behaviour if it bit them on the ar$e.

[YippeeGirl]

They sound like a bunch of ferals.

It's understandable if the woman has a phobia and got a fright. However, there's no need to start dropping the C word or threatening violence when you as the dog owner, did your best to get a handle on the situation.

I've had worse encounters with people's off leash dogs and I've never felt the need to start screaming at their owners. I really don't blame you for giving them the finger.

[HazyWal]

Let me guess Umina off leash? They sound like locals to me with the offensive language and drinking on the beach, all beaches on the Central Coast are alcohol free and have been for years. The only advice I have is don't go there, council are threatening to stop off leash at Umina Beach because of the constant dramas. A few of the "real locals" started a facebook page "save Umina off leash beach" but I know council and police have had enough.

[Stressmagnet]

Yup. Umina.

Any other beach suggestions HaxyWal? I was so hoping they weren't locals.

[JulesP]

Going into a fenced in little dog park would be pretty dumb without a dog but offlead dog beaches are shared spaces. We need to control our dogs.

Stressmagnet I just stay alert and call the dogs back to me if I see a person approaching. I usually just have them sit and stay next to me. Sometimes I just have them come to heel and we go past like that. Because I have 2 dogs I find it easier to stop moving. It is just less chaotic.

[silentchild]

I also don't allow my dog to approach people off leash without permission, with or without dogs. For that you need a reliable recall. I am also of the opinion that all dogs should have a reliable recall even in off leash areas (although I know this is sometimes difficult!) However this woman's reaction definitely sounds way over the top. Her use of the C word and threatening to punch you is completely unacceptable in my books. I'm sorry you had to experience that. Try not to stew too much on it. Perhaps find a nicer beach to go to.

Edited December 21, 2014 by silentchild