Do Your Dogs Stress Your Relationship?

[Aleksandra 157]

Bringing a new dog/ cat into the home impacts on the whole family ,and obviously has the potential to cause a lot of disharmony! Number of dogs ,training methods etc,etc can cause stress,to say the least if one partner has different ideas. When I met G 10 yrs ago in my 50s I made it clear...love me ,love my two dogs! In his case it was cars ,4 of them. Anyway ,were still here together ,married 5 yrs. I'd be lying if I said the dogs haven't caused stress over the years ,particularly with Jesses problems ,a s we disagreed on ways to deal with him.( he thinks I should be "over him" now I have another one.He's a wonderful man but....sometimes just doesn't get that the love for your dogs is so strong! Any way ,it got me thinking ,do others have disagreements / stress with partner over dogs . :)

[aliwake]

My husband hates me getting advice from an Internet forum :)

But, we mostly agree on how to raise our boy. The biggest division was probably on when to desex, but now we're past that it's all good. I can see how things could go bad quickly with a more difficult dog though!

[Dame Aussie]

For us the dogs are one of the things we never argue about :laugh:

[Ivory & Beau]

My partner just complains about how bitchy Ivy is :laugh: I am pretty much in control over the dogs, he has no say in what they eat etc.

[JulesP]

No stress at all with the dogs. Hubby didn't do much with them but liked them. He didn't interfere at all with training or anything like that. He wasn't super keen on getting the second dog but fell in love with her the second he saw her so that was all cool.

The horses caused a fair bit of angst though.

[Bjelkier]

My partner is fairly relaxed about the dogs, the showing gets to him a little but he knows I enjoy it so wisely keeps his mouth shut. If he complained he wouldn't be around. I refuse to change what I want for someone else. Just like I wouldn't tell him to give up what he loves.

Quite frankly the cats cause more issues between us than the dogs ever have.

Edited December 18, 2014 by Bjelkier

[Ivory & Beau]

Quite frankly the cats cause more issues between us than the dogs ever have.

Same here! Mainly scratching the brand new leather lounge

[Aleksandra 157]

I agree re the cats.Actually,I feel a bit mean now as he has so many great qualities....and he does love the dogs .Lulu the JS is definitely his girl ,they are inseparable ,so I'm feeling I was a bit hard on him. :)

[Little Gifts]

I live with my sister and she is amazing when it comes to human catastrophes but when it comes to her dog she is absolutely useless! She can't even clean up a vom bom! So there is a lot of work on my part when it comes to her acknowledging things about her ageing dog and getting something done. Sometimes I have to calm her down and stop wrapping her dog in cotton wool too.

I think the biggest bug bear I have is that even if I am asleep and she is awake and doing nothing she will let the dogs wake me up for their breakfast. We've talked about it but the situation continues!

[RiverStar-Aura]

Can't say my dogs have caused any issues. Could be due to the fact I've always been single and still am!! :D

[hankdog]

Hank no, Jake sadly yes. I'm pretty happy at home and don't like going out so the sep Anx bothers me little. OH loves going out so its a problem for him. I try make an effort to go out at least once most weekends but I'm always clock watching.

The extra effort to keep Jake safe is routine for me but OH battles with the double leashes, gates etc. I always planned on being a wires carer once the kids left school but I'm not allowed. Last count we had three one legged ducks in the garden, there's always a batch of ducklings in the pool at night and I normally manage to sneak in someone who fell out the nest in spring. Stealth wires carer.

[BlaznHotAussies]

Only when I want more dogs Luckily we both love Aussies so choosing a dog isn't difficult. OH doesn't care what colour/appearance/etc. it is as long as it has a good temperament & he can teach it tricks.

He knows that I want to do it all correctly and feed good food, go crazy on toys, have a nice bed for it & keep it inside (even though hair ends up everywhere). I just have to keep up with the cleaning more :)

[denali]

While I am studying at uni I live at home at the moment with my younger sister and my mother.

The dogs are all mine, as is one of our three cats.

I pay for all their food. My family knows i train them my way etc. They are my dogs. I do what i want with them.

However- the things we argue about are.

Their weight- apparently i am starving them.

When i pick up their still full bowl if they decide to be picky (only my youngest and leanest looking does this)- once again. Starving them and being cruel.

and the cat biscuits- one of my dogs is allergic to it- however my mum doesnt care if they go and finish the bowl of food the cats havent

You have no idea how many times the first has caused an argument- she was feeling particularly argumentative one day and said i didnt take care of my dogs and was a terrible owner

I beg to differ! They are loved to death and healthy as can be.

One day my menagerie and I will have our own place to do as we please

And any future partners will have to accept that we all come as a package deal!

ETA: i vacuum, mop, mow the lawn- do poo patrol. So none of that is ever an issue.

As well as caring for her two cats- frequent grooming, flea and worm. I think she'll be in for a shock about how much i do for them when i leave again haha

Edited December 18, 2014 by denali

[OSoSwift]

Sometimes, sometimes not.

I feed them, medicate them etc etc. We have my dogs and his dog.

He occassionaly has a smart remark regarding how I train or somthing or flips his lid because there is no lounge left and they have perfectly good beds, but he gets over it. He cannot stand dog fart smell, not one bit. The whippets rarely do but if they do his whinging is protracted and loud and I end up cranky. Recently on a weekend away they all came with me - humans that is - and one of the dogs was a bit gassy. well the bitching and whinging was doing my head in. I had to walk that dog and make it toilet. I was ready to strangle him. walked the dog around for a good 20 minutes, nothing. He knew I was seething and eventually said hey lets go. I looked him square in the face and said the dogs needs to be here, you don't and you won't again, the dog is not a robot, he iisn't doing it on purpose and your whinging is doing my head in and I am going to yell at you very shortly.

It wasn't mentioned again. There was no whinging even when the dogs slept with him in his camp bed. He knows when I am really cross. Once Wilson pee'd on the floor, my fault for not reading his signs. He was carrying on until I exploded and said it is my fault not the dogs, I am cleaning it up, it is once not like he pisses everywhere all the time so STFU and let me clean.

So yes they do, but not very often and OH has learnt that it really isn't worth it!

Any decisions regarding medical care surgeries etc for my dogs are my decision alone, he has the final say on his. I have a bit more medical knowledge than him so I will give him facts so he can decide what to do for his dog, but he decided what to do.

[Zombie Bait]

I'm currently single so no problems at the moment.

When I was with my ex we did have a few issues over the dogs.

He had no issues deferring to me on what they ate, medical decisions or that they were inside/outside dogs.

The thing we came to loggerheads over was behavioural issues. Brembo was and still is reactive to certain dogs, most strange men and had issues with our neighbours. Sierra was noise phobic and could scale 6 foot colourbond fencing if spooked. I insisted that both dogs be in a locked dog run or inside whilst we were away from the house for both the safety of them and keeping good relationships with neighbours. He disagreed and thought that Brembo was "doing his job" by barking and rushing the fence whenever a neighbour entered their own yard. It took 6 months of arguments and me actually ending the relationship (for other reasons) for him to start to build the dog run. When I left it still wasn't finished. I took Brembo when I left but Sierra was his dog so he kept her. I've since had to use a bark collar for Brembo for when I'm not at home (which I know he was dead set against).

He also used to put the dogs in situations where they could "fail" when I wasn't present. He had the attitude of "she'll be right", when in reality it meant that Brembo had the opportunity to nip 2 people when he felt threatened.

I feel that Brembo (and the general public) are much safer now that he is no longer a part of our lives.

I do still worry about Sierra even after 3 years

[Stressmagnet]

Now I'm single - whee! No problems.

When FEX lived here it was a nightmare. Always had an opinion on how to handle the dog. At the time we had an AmStaff - softest dog you ever met. But he put her in a spiked collar and keot trying to 'toughen her up'. At the end she was highly dog aggressive. What an idiot.

[Scottsmum]

We disagree on a lot of points. Mainly diet - he thinks I'm too strict and happily shares human junk food / lets Scottie eat street rubbish.

I have posted in the past about other issues - one which kind of lead to Scottie being bitten at the park - he's been SO much better since then.

On the flip side he adores Mr man as much as I do and does walks, without fail, every morning rain hail or shine.

It's absolutely a hard balance at times but at the end of the day he says the pets are mine and I make the majority of the calls.

[Podengo]

Not really, we both love Elsie! He defers to me about everything, though does comment on how often I have her at the vet (especially when I won't go to see a doctor about anything for myself). Oh and sometimes when he is in a grump he'll get annoyed about there being dog hair and grass in our bed or on the couch :laugh:

[Loving my Oldies]

Can't say my dogs have caused any issues. Could be due to the fact I've always been single and still am!! :D

Same here. I don't know how I'd manage if someone else was around, because I am pedantic to the nth degree about doors and gates which are always the biggest issue for me in terms of their safety.

[02Dogs]

Our two girls recently started fighting and can no longer be together, which has made things very stressful :-(

My HB was away for the first session with the behaviourist/trainer so he has been a little cranky with me constantly 'correcting' him with the dogs. We had the trainer out the other day for a catch up when HB was home so he is now on the same page. So the trainer had the last say!!

Edited December 19, 2014 by 02Dogs