Seren Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 I am awake and crying again. Last night I dreamed that Lace is alive again. I have dreamed this nearly every night. But I can't get to her in the dream. Last night she was on the television in my dream but I couldn't find the channel to watch her and get her back. One other night I dreamed she was with a breeder and they wouldn't give her back to me. It just goes on and I wake up crying and exhausted. Does this happen to anyone else?? I feel so exhausted and sick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VizslaMomma Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 I am awake and crying again. Last night I dreamed that Lace is alive again. I have dreamed this nearly every night. But I can't get to her in the dream. Last night she was on the television in my dream but I couldn't find the channel to watch her and get her back. One other night I dreamed she was with a breeder and they wouldn't give her back to me. It just goes on and I wake up crying and exhausted. Does this happen to anyone else?? I feel so exhausted and sick. (((Seren))) It has happened to me. It is happening to me right now. This week is the first anniversary of my Heart dog's passing. Mine is no longer as frequent. But it is there yet my boy is not. Personally I feel it is my own mind not fully accepting his going and longing for his prescence again. I have even been unwilling to talk too much about it. Buckets of tears follow. I have found this very forum, ( not just this Rainbow Bridge part) to be cathartic in allowing my myriad of emotions to settle. I am also firmly of the school of thought that we, the grieving person, have different yardsticks in coming to terms with the passing of a beloved furkid. Let yourself try to understand this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persephone Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Seren Our brains let us work thru things in different ways .....one day the dream will change .. I am sorry you feel so bad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seren Posted August 19, 2014 Author Share Posted August 19, 2014 Thanks so much VizslaMomma and Persephone, You have always tried to help me as much as you could Persephone, and I have appreciated it beyond measure. VizslaMomma, I have found another site where you can actually go onto a chat site and talk to others about your sadness and they are really supportive. It is petloss.com I go there quite often lately and have had a lot of support through talking there also. They have offered that maybe I didn't say a proper Goodbye to Lace. When we left her at the Vet I just hugged her close and said "See you soon little one" thinking that it was only going to be a simple procedure and she would be back home for me to nurse back to health. Then when it all went wrong she had been caged and in pain and fear(probably so scared and confused - which haunts me terribly) and she had shut down completely when we went to her. She just lay there with her head hanging, she had 'shrunk' and was needing a good brushing and had dull eyes. She didn't even acknowledge us, just lay there panting and giving out little whimpers. They said that I shouldn't remember this too often. Remember her when she was healthy and strong and very cheeky. With her beautiful new adult coat (which she had just gotten) all brushed and shiny; ready for her walk. It is hard at the moment to think of her like that because the last image of her haunts me all the time. My daughter has done a beautiful memorial video tribute to her but I haven't been able to watch it all the way through yet. They say that it all takes time. Thankyou for your support, I appreciate it very much. I just wish that the dreams would stop. I feel for you too VizslaMomma - it is very upsetting isn't it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tdierikx Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Next week is the 10 year anniversary of my beloved Woosie's passing... and it still hurts. A piece of my soul went with her I think... Time doesn't necessarily heal, but it does allow us to develop coping tactics to deal with the intense loss we feel when a furry soulmate leaves us. T. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Gifts Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 (edited) I had a dog for almost 16 years and she never appeared in my dreams once while she was alive. I put her to sleep just shy of her 17th birthday a couple of years ago. Then she started turning up in my dreams and it was always some kind of disaster scene with me searching and her disappearing out of view. She always seemed quite calm while I was the one having a meltdown. It actually stopped when we got our first foster dog again (we'd had a long break because of her age). My remaining anxiety over her is that I have never been confident that I put her down at the right time. I think she could've continued on at the same health level for a few more months and maybe I jumped the gun a little for my own sake. There are some things like this we just have to live with because even though others tell me I managed her health issues far longer than other people may have that doesn't quiet my own doubts. My old girl is still everywhere in this house. My current dogs wear her coats in winter. Her tags and silly things like stray whiskers and toenail clippings are in a little container behind me. The socks she used to wear, her collar (all unwashed) are stored with all the other dog gear. Her art work is in my lounge room and photos of her at different ages are on the bookshelves. I still remember how she looked, particularly at the end with all her lumps and bumps and grey hairs. I don't miss her snoring or farts next to my head on the bed but I still remember them. I guess the intensity of the emotion settles but you certainly don't forget. Actually all the silly stuff is what I think about now and it makes me smile. She was one of a kind. Hopefully you will get there too when your heart is ready. She gave you everything she had while she was here to try and keep you topped up for the time after she was gone. I'm sure she wouldn't want you to crumble without her. The legacy any good dog wishes to leave behind is love. So as long as she is in your heart and memories she is never really as far away as you think. Edited August 19, 2014 by Little Gifts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bianca.a Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Oh Seren I am so deeply sorry I don't have any words of wisdom just wanted you to know I am sorry and thinking of you ((hugs)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbedWire Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Seren I had a dog, my heart dog, I left at the vet to have her spleen removed. I expected to collect her later that day. She didn't make it. I just remember that she was shaking in the waiting room and when they came for her she did not want to go. I did not really say goodbye to her but let them take her away. My last memory is of her trembling and I did not comfort her. I have never forgiven myself. I still cry when I think about her. The really sad part is that it was fourteen years ago and I still cry. I feel I let her down. You will never get over your loss. At the moment you need to grieve - and don't let anyone tell you that it was only a dog - but when the time comes let it go. Move on. I am pleased that you are trying to get another dog. I wish you well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelissaS Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Just wanted to say I'm so sorry. Hugs to everyone who misses our loves at rainbow bridge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seren Posted August 19, 2014 Author Share Posted August 19, 2014 It is morning again and I am still in agony... The dreams again and how sad and mixed up I am. I will have to look at getting another pup very closely I think, I dreamed I got Lace back. I am afraid to get another Golden. But then getting a Lab, I just don't know what to do and I wish my Lace were here and this was not happening Thankyou for your support everyone... Hugs to you too for understanding Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seren Posted August 19, 2014 Author Share Posted August 19, 2014 Oh Seren I am so deeply sorry I don't have any words of wisdom just wanted you to know I am sorry and thinking of you ((hugs)) Thanks bianca.a, I appreciate all the help you have been to me. I just wish this would all pass, don't think I am strong enough. I feel like howling Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seren Posted August 19, 2014 Author Share Posted August 19, 2014 Thanks sarsaparilla adn Little Gifts, I think agony is losing your little one and not getting over it it is so hard Hugs to you too, you still feel sad for yours too, I feel for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbedWire Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 I want to thank you too Seren. I have never really told anyone about the details of my girl's passing. You have helped me here by listening and acknowledging my grief. Thankyou so much. At the time I was told she was just a dog minutes after I had learnt that she was gone. Re another dog for you. I think it is good to get another dog when you think you are ready, but don't get one that looks like Lace. I love the name Lace. I am sure she was a beautiful dog. It might help you to try to remember the good times more than the bad ones. Perhaps even write them down. For Lace's sake have good memories. You are so fortunate that your children have made that video. When you are ready watch it and remember the good times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BC Crazy Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 (edited) My beautiful heart dog passed 8 years ago. I still miss him & dream about him. I sometimes even see when I'm walking my 2 guys along the beach he loved so much but then I blink & he is gone again. Time doesn't heal but you learn to cope a little better. You start to remember all the good times not just the horrible sad part at the end. You reflect on their amazing life, love, devotion & companionship. Be kind to yourself Seren...things will get better Everyone grieves in their own way. Lace has left a huge hole in your heart which will take time to heal & your mind needs time to reflect that is why you dream. Edited August 19, 2014 by BC Crazy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bianca.a Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 Oh Seren I am so deeply sorry I don't have any words of wisdom just wanted you to know I am sorry and thinking of you ((hugs)) Thanks bianca.a, I appreciate all the help you have been to me. I just wish this would all pass, don't think I am strong enough. I feel like howling PLease howl, cry, scream, whatever helps you through each day. When I lost my last dogs, it took me six years before I could think of getting another. Last year I had to put both my 17 year old cats down within six weeks of each other. I still burst into tears, snot everywhere at times. Grief is such an individual thing and I congratulate you on being able to write about it. Please know that you are not alone ((((hugs))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tdierikx Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 This may sound kinda strange, but we are all crazy "dog people" here, right? Go out into the back yard - sit down and get your other dog to sit with you where you can cuddle them... then get that completely primal grief howl going on... and bugger what the neighbours think! Works for me if/when things get a little hard anyways... I think you are going through a really bad case of the "what ifs"... the decision to let Lace go to the Bridge was not an easy one, was it? There is guilt (unfounded, yet real for you, yes?), and you are dwelling on the fact that you maybe could have made different decisions if a number of external factors had aligned to allow you to make those different decisions, yes? You made the hardest decision an animal lover ever has to make - and IMHO you made the right one for Lace given the circumstances you found yourselves in. Please don't beat yourself up about it. T. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loving my Oldies Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 (edited) It is morning again and I am still in agony... The dreams again and how sad and mixed up I am. I will have to look at getting another pup very closely I think, I dreamed I got Lace back. I am afraid to get another Golden. But then getting a Lab, I just don't know what to do and I wish my Lace were here and this was not happening Thankyou for your support everyone... Hugs to you too for understanding You poor darling. The really awful thing for you, I think, is that your Lace didn't have time to grow up and grow old and her death was painful. As others have posted, dreams about our dogs are generally unhappy ones, ones where they are lost and we can't find them, or we drop the lead and there is traffic about, or (one recently), I all the dogs out walking and then I couldn't find one. I've had so many dogs over the past 20 years, and so many dreams that, thankfully for my sanity, I've forgotten most of them ---- the dreams that is, never the dogs. You are having a really bad time and, honestly, I think you could do with seeing a grief consellor. I can't recommend any but others maybe; I believe when we have guilt wrapped up in the grief, it can really do our heads in and sometimes a professional can just hit the right spot of sense and realisation for us. We all feel guilt to a certain degree even when our dogs die from old age related illnesses and letting them go is a blessing for them, but when a young dog dies, it can be very very hard. Edited August 20, 2014 by Dame Danny's Darling Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CHA Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 I am so sorry for your loss and what you have had to go through. Loosing a dog so young would be absolutely devastating and i can totally understand your emotional state. It will get better but it will take time. I said goodbye to my boy exactly a week ago today and the grief, loneliness and the huge hole that he has left is so hard to bare. When you feel up to it, welcome another into your heart. Lace was needed in another place and is now happy and healthy at the rainbow bridge. Try to remember her in her health, not her last hours. Best wishes and look after yourself xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seren Posted August 21, 2014 Author Share Posted August 21, 2014 I have just wandered back in here thinking after today.... I have so much to be thankful for! I mean you all understand me!! Because you have all 'been there' at some stage or many times.. I remember my beagles Dapper, Tiki and Kiska... and then I named all the ones we rehabilitated when we were in Beagle Rescue too. I remember my first dog, a Lab called Bazza - bit of a naughty boy he was... but very loveable. One day he almost 'desexed' a man when we were out walking when I was young - the man got out of his car and tried to get me to get in with him I whistled Bazza and he attacked the guy - ripping the front of his pants right off him!!! True story.. it went into the paper... I was quite young. It was quite an experience.. that dog was my protector!! So I come in here and find kind posts that I haven't read yet and all the ones I have read again; and I find that you all care about how I am feeling. Yes, I am feeling like I need to hug Lace again. I went to a grief counsellor and talked for an hour solid the other day. She was good , didn't say much, just let me talk. It helped a bit. But after today I need a bit of time again. I am not going to be able to "replace" Lace. Holly is not going to just pick up life with another dog like she did with Lace. They grew up together and didn't need to question each other. They used to hug each other. So now I must study Holly more and work out who would she benefit from having added to her life now I think.. Yep, Just thinking, reading and having a quiet cry at the moment.. Thankyou to you all.... and hugs to all who know this sadness - which is all of us because we love our babies unconditionally and always; I think ... Yep, that Bazza dog, he was amazing the way he protected me that day. I had forgotten about that day. He could be quite savage I realise now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tikira Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 I was so sorry to hear you had lost Lace. Dreams are a two edged knife, one side cuts really deep, and we wake in tears. The other side, if we allow it to, can be a brief moment in time when it feels like they are still with us, and it is in those precious moments that I know my boy Tip has visited me in the dead of night to offer me love and wet kisses to dry my tears. Sometimes my grief turns the dreams bad, but sometimes, just sonetimes they are amazing. I look forward to both kinds of dreams, because I can be with him briefly once again, even if the dream is a nightmare. It has been 18 months since I lost Tip to snake bite... I could not save his life, and that has tortured me, but I have dreamed of him twice in two nights now, both horrible dreams, but parts were good, and I choose to focus on that. I hope Lace comes to you again in a sweet dream, they are the best feeling. Hugs to you as you continue on this path that nobody wants to have to walk. Regards Di Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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