How Long Did It Take For You To Be Ready For Another Dog?

[ro11]

Hi everybody,

In November 2013, my wonderful furry friend, Lea, was put to sleep because she had cancer. I've been thinking about getting another dog, but I'm afraid that I'll regret getting another so soon and feel really guilty about it (I can't help but think that I'm trying to replace her. I know this isn't true... I just can't get these thoughts out of my head).

So how long did you wait before getting another dog? How did you figure out that you were ready?

Thanks

[Pretty Miss Emma]

I didn't think I was ready, but the right pup came along and my other dog was ready!! So I didn't have as much choice in it, I just had to have him!!! And it ws the best thing I ever did (well at that point in time it was the perfect thing for me to do!). I did specifically get a boy because I didn't want a girl to constantly remind my of my girl I had lost. But funnily enough he has so many traits that she had (I had to get him because he is a distant relation to my dog who died!), and that was actually very comforting.

It was 11 months between my old dog dying and getting my most recent pup. I think it was also because I had another dog at home who was enjoying us time but really was craving having a doggy companion again.

[Dory the Doted One]

Longest time between dogs was about 12 months. I felt like half person and not myself when I didn't have a dog. I have two now, with a decent age gap so not anticipating being dogless in the near future.

I don't feel like I'm replacing any of my past dogs. Each dog is an individual to be loved for who and what they are, so no need to feel guilt. You can't replace the irreplaceable.

[lilypily]

My 11yr old girl passed on January 2nd this year. It was just under a month that I got a pup. My house was so empty, nothing felt right. I too deliberately chose a male dog. For the first week or so with him, I felt like I was betraying Lily. Being a pup he has kept me so so busy and I hold him responsible for my sanity!.

I haven't grieved for Lily yet, I don't know why but I just can't. I know one day when things aren't going right, the thought of Lil will open the floodgates, i'm scared the gates won't close

[baifra]

I'm sure it varies for everyone but I didn't last long at all.

I lost my 12 year old Cattle dog in March 2 years ago then a month later my 14 year old Stafford died. I lasted 10 days without dogs in the house so went and adopted a couple of oldies. The house was just too empty without a dog in it.

[hankdog]

I waited about 4 months before I'd annoyed everyone being so pathetic and miserable I was told to get another dog. I got a very different kind of dog because I didn't want to be comparing, Hank was pretty perfect and it wouldn't have been fair to get a similar dog.

The way I look at it you have a dog shaped hole in your heart, until I got another dog it wasn't going to be whole. I did feel guilt and betrayal but next time I wouldn't wait so long. There's a lovely poem somewhere about all a dog can leave behind is a loving home for another lost dog.

[Guest Clover]

Clover was pts in November and Luna came home in Febuary the next year.

[Scottsmum]

Guin was PTS first weekend in March 2013. Scottie came home last weekend of November same year.

It was the first time in my entire life I wasn't sharing my life with both a cat and dog. I did warn hubby the weekend we put Guin down that I wouldn't last long.

That said, walking into the shelter was hard. It was probably harder to make the decision to adopt Scottie then it was to put Guinea to sleep. I sobbed the whole time I signed his paperwork

The people at the shelter must have thought I was a nutter.

[The Spotted Devil]

I waited more than 2 years the first time. There were other circumstances that surrounded this decision (timing for finding a rental house and the right breeder with an available pup) but that first loss cut deeply. I selected a VERY different breed and the opposite sex because I was worried about comparing them. When I had my beloved 18 year old Burmese cat put to sleep not long after my aforementioned 17 year old dog the emptiness was unbearable. I was fortunate enough to find a wonderful Burmese kitten available relatively soon after - she was a different colour but I still thought it was too soon to love another so fiercely. I was wrong and I lost her last year after 8 perfect years together. My house has not been empty for a long while - my very different Dally, a Springer, the wonderful kitten's mother and a foster kitten/failure - and I have learnt that there is plenty of room in my heart for them all.

[denali]

My dog passed away in January 2011, and i got another one in April

However, I was totally devestated when he passed away. It was extremely sudden and he was only 6 going 7 years old. I did say i was going to wait a year, but i just couldn't live without a dog for that long. Thats when Kokoda came along :)

[taffy]

We are in this situation at the moment, Ed died a month ago and I am finding it really hard to handle life without a dog.

DH and I have gone through so many breeds but cant find another that suits us so well. Its just the life expectancy and bloat that sucks

My youngest (7) on the other hand is devastated without him (we all are) and is desperate for another dog, to the point of somehow finding the Dogzonline newfoundland puppy page and bringing it to me.

He came out of surgery yesterday and the first thing he asked was if he could have another dog now.

We just cannot come to a decision.

[CaseyKay]

My first two dogs were elderly when they died (13 and 17 years) but they died only 6 months apart. The younger died first and I did not want to upset my old boy with a puppy around but I planned to get a puppy when he died. But then it took me two dogless years to get a puppy. I did think about it a lot and researched breeds and I had a borrowed dog that I walked most days as his owners were busy and I missed my dog walks. Two years after they died I got a female puppy, and it was still really hard as a puppy is nothing like your old mates you have had for a long time and it made me miss my boys all over again Then two years after that another puppy. Then 7 years to the next and 2 years after that to the next until I had four of them!

Then my two oldest girls died last year, only a day apart, over a couple of horrible days in October.

I think most people including my husband expected me to be out looking for another BC pup pretty soon but I found the whole thing very emotionally hard. I am happy with my two young dogs for now, they are just 4 and 2, and I think it will be another year yet before we add another puppy. I don't think I could go dogless again though like I did the first time. The first two were my first dogs and I went through the whole it hurts too much I'm never never getting another dog thing. But if I hadn't got any more dogs, I would not have had KC-Bear (now gone) who was like my child and I would not have had Gael who is my best friend. And that is unthinkable.

[julesluvscavs]

Hi ro11 :) sorry about your loss last year

Its a question most of us ponder over.

In our case we had our name with a breeder for some time for a puppy, and our way of thinking was also that we would have her to keep one of our Cavaliers company when the other older one passed away ( she had been having health issues) and thought it would be a good way to adjust the remaining one to life without his Mother when the time came.

Later (after Miah came into our lives) Unexpectedly and without much warning the older Cavalier's son 'Joey' became very ill and within a couple months had to be given his wings. It was highly suspected he had a brain tumour We didn't see that coming. So our Miah came along at the right time not only to comfort us, but also Joey's Mother Renae. She has helped heaps with it all. Not that anything can replace our Joey but shes certainly been a blessing.

Anyway that was all in 2013 ( We lost Joey last September)

We haven't even been thinking about getting another dog, its actually been the last thing on our minds. But fate stepped in recently and a friend told me about a cavalier that the owner was looking to rehome to the right person, and could i keep my eyes and ears open.

Hubby and I casually thought we would go and meet this cavalier and his owner, only because they lived close to us ( which was a sign). We met him and he had a very good temperament . We thought long and hard over a few weeks if we should take him on. The owner brought him to our place one weekend to see if he got along with our 2 cavs and he did.

Well last Sat he came to live with us

I'm a strong believer in fate, and always think when the timing is right, it will just happen one way or another. Having said that our limit has always been 3 Cavs at a time,

Your heart will tell you if you are ready or not.

We also had a similar thing happen when we were given Renae (many years ago), we already had Joey (her son) and another dog that I had for years (a red heeler x kelpie). She got cancer and had to be given her wings. A few months down the track Joey's breeder offered us Renae.

Please keep us updated x

Edited May 13, 2014 by Jules❤3Cavs

[leec]

Gee, I'm so glad to read that other people felt the same as me. I lost my old boy July 23 2013, at age 14 and a half, but I still had Maggie my girl. She passed away on 2 Jan 2014 at nearly 11. God I was a mess. I like the description above, I just didn't feel like me, the bottom had fallen out of my world, I had no-one to cuddle and talk to, I kept telling my hubby he just wasn't furry enough

Anyway, I lasted a week before we brought home a male 2 year old staffie cross, white in colour and entirely different to my oldies that I'd lost. About 6 weeks after bringing Chad home and he had settled in we brought home another staffie rescue, female this time. The really weird thing about Chelsea is that her name was Margaret, she answered to Maggie! My little black girl I referred to as Queen Margaret of the Staffords, it really was sort of like a sign.

Anyway, I think everyone is different to how we grieve and treasure our animals. I know for me that my animals have taught me that I have way to much love to give and I just have to keep giving it to my furkids.

The dogs in my avatar are Ed and Maggie, they will never be forgotten and will always be loved and cherished in my heart. I can't let go of them, I know they will always be with me, but I have so much to offer more furkids.

Edited May 13, 2014 by leec

[Loving my Oldies]

There is no right or wrong in what you do. I met someone looking at the pound where I volunteered whose dog had died the day before (that was a bit confronting) and another woman who came to the same pound who had waited seven years LOL.

Only twice have I had to consider getting another dog because one had died. After that, I always had so many dogs that the decision wasn't necessary

Jules, have you posted about your latest? If so, I have missed it. Congratulations

[grace]

I find getting another one straight away helps me get over the loss. I normally get another come into my life within two weeks although there was one that that came home the same day we lost one but that was just how it happened.

[Tapua]

I think it feels right when it feels right - I cant bare not having a dog around so I would get another pup pretty quickly but if I have other house dogs then it depends on their temperaments how old they are and of course am I ready. I don't think any dog replaces another they are all individual so go with your heart. I am sure he right dog will cross your path just for you.

[Dogsfevr]

never had an issue getting a new one,i am never replacing what i lost & would never dream of thinking that way new dog new beginning .

When we have potential puppy owners come out who have recently lost a dog we pay attention to what they say & how they interact & will say we have refused to sell a pup to a few people because they kept on comparing the puppies to what they lost in a unhealthy way & it was obvious a new pup/dog would not enjoy its life there until they where able to deal with the loss of there previous dog

[tikira]

I am sorry to hear of your loss, losing a beloved dog is one of the hardest things to cope with, I found. We lost our boy suddenly in March 2013 from snakebite. I was devastated, and after the first two days wanted another dog, but I instinctively knew it was not the best for our family to do this straight away.

I was worried I would compare Puppy with Tip, and somehow resent him. We had to go overseas in September 2013, so that solved the quandry for us- we had to wait until we came home. It took 2 weeks after that, the perfect puppy came up, and even though he was also a Jack Russell, he ws very different in looks and personality. I found suddenly I was smiling again, and there were fewer tears than before, and I never compared the two.

For us I feel any less than 6 months would have been hard, but we still had another dog to ease the pain, and "borrowed" our nephews little scruffer for several weeks ( We are "co-owners) with him, and he spends a lot of time with us anyway. This helped so much, as we grieved the loss of our perfect boy.

Only you know your family and your own feelings and situation well enough to answer that question. There is never any right or wrong answer, just know that the right dog will come along at the right time for you, embrace it when it happens.

Meantime, talking about it helps, particularly with people like Dolers, as we are all mad crazy dog lovers who have been or will go though the same situation, and understand your grief level,and know this is a normal reaction, something I found not everyone "out there" does. (I copped the "get over it" comments, and the eye rolls when I became emotional )

My thoughts are with you.

Di

[Little Gifts]

We have been a three dog household for a long time - three just feels right. But when my old girl was pts it was about a year before I could face the issue and we decided to foster as we weren't ready for a permanent 'thirdie'. After I made that decision and applied to become a foster carer I had several dreams about my old girl and of course wondered whether I was doing the right thing as I'd never had her in my dreams before. We started fostering and had back to back fosters and were really enjoying it. We loved all our fosters but always accepted we were not the perfect home for them. Until Tempeh! She had ideas of her own and chose us as her forever home, so we are back to being a permanent three dog household again! Had that not happened we would've continued to foster until that extra special one arrived.