That Difficult Time Of Life

[Kirislin]

My Penny whippet is an old girl now, and very frail. She'll be 15 in May if she makes it that far. She's come to the stage of life when I am asking myself some hard questions, but I dont know the right answers.

She's very wobbly, I think she might have some sort of paralysis in her throat because she seems to have trouble eating sometimes. It's as if she wants to eat but cant always get it in her mouth. I sit on the floor and feed her little bits sometimes and try to cook her extra yummy stuff to stimulate her desire to eat. Just now I heated turkey mince with some juices from a roast I'd kept for gravy. She ate a bit and then left it while the other dogs hovered like vultures because it smelt delicious to them.

What she often does is go outside and eat dirt though. I think it's because she's senile, not lacking something, although I cannot be certain. She seems to eat more dirt than real food and she's a bag of bones.

She gets restless and will wander the house for hours, coming up to me as if to ask something but she doesn't seem to know what she wants. I try to settle her somewhere comfy and she'll lay for a minute or two and then up she gets again looking at me with these confused and bewildered eyes, as if pleading me to do something for her.

I notice her heart beats very quickly now too and she's incontinent sometimes. I took her to the vet a few months ago just for a check up and to see if there was anything else I could do for her but he said no, she's just old.

Perhaps you would think from my description it's time to let her go, but usually, at least once a day she gets the sillies and wants to play with the other dogs. That alone is probably what makes me hesitate and keep her going, but there's the other part of me that argues, why wait until she's lost even that desire to play and her whole existence is just pain and confusion?

I just dont know what to do. I wish someone could wave a magic wand and make it all better.

[kelpiecuddles]

I don't envy your position at all Kirislin. My last oldie was a much loved 20 year old cat(who I'd had since I was 5 years old!) and all I can was that when it was time I just knew. Looking at her I could see that it was getting to a point that there were more bad days than good ones and when it looked like it was all just too difficult for her that was the time.

For what it's worth my dogs have taken to eating dirt lately too, in their case I think it's to do with the mud from all the rain because they did it last winter too so the dirt thing maybe be nothing to worry about.

Be kind to yourself, I think when the time is right you'll feel it.

Edited April 18, 2014 by kelpiecuddles

[Kirislin]

I recently had to put down my beloved Kibah who seemed fine one day and bad the next. In a way it was and easier decision for me though, it was so clear cut with her and she was in alot of pain that wasn't going to get better, but Penny has been frail and needed nursing for at least 2 years now, it's been a gradual decline and I'm finding it harder to pinpoint the right time to get her go.

[hankdog]

Very hard to know exactly when it's too far. I was asking this question with Hank for about six months. I came home one day and he suddenly had dropped his hindquarters and was in obvious pain. I left him at the vets overnight which I regret. Tough and I wish you strength, I don't think you exactly know when.

[Ruffles]

She gets restless and will wander the house for hours, coming up to me as if to ask something but she doesn't seem to know what she wants. I try to settle her somewhere comfy and she'll lay for a minute or two and then up she gets again looking at me with these confused and bewildered eyes, as if pleading me to do something.

This is what happen with Rinse. A few nights before I made the decision she was wandering around the house all night, whimpering. Would come to me like she wants something but she had everything and nothing I did changed this.

The night before I took her for her final drive. She lay on the couch with the most vacant look in her eyes, like she was looking at nothing and just whimpering a bit.

Hugs to you. It is a very hard time. I know what it's like when you just want someone to say 'yep, now is the time' so you don't have to make the choice and wonder about the 'what if's.

I don't have any answers, sorry. But I do know what you're going through

[twodoggies2001]

I sympathize with you, knowing what you are going through. I had a mini schnauzer who had his off days and then there were the good days. In his lifetime he had a liver shunt diagnosed at 6 months which surgery repaired. In his later years he lost an eye,the remaining one had a cataract. Ii believe he also had dementia. He would not eat for several days and after my thinking to myself that if tomorrow he hasn't eaten, it was time to say goodbye and then he would somehow rally. I looked at his quality of life. He was unhappy to come to the park because for him it was unfamiliar surroundings. He would sleep on the couch at night and every morning I would pray that he had left us during the night only because I didn't want to make the final trip to the vet. When I took both dogs for a check, the vet commented that he was a very unhappy little dog, and my decision was made. He left this earth laying on my lap, surrounded with love from his 'brother', his master and mistress. I know it's a very difficult decision, but his quality of life was poor and we felt in our case it was far better to release him to a better place.

I feel the decision we made was the best one and you will also make the best decision in your case. Whichever way you go, I wish you well and will be thinking of you and Penny.

[Kavik]

Zoe was eating dirt a lot too for the last several months of her life, maybe even a year. I asked the vet and they had no idea why.

[persephone]

Awww...

How much actual time in her day doe she look engaged and happy :) How much time is she a bit lost/sore...?

It is so hard .I'm sorry ...

With mine - trouble eating , loss of comfortable toilet habits , and any long term discomfort makes my decision easy . Yes, I could keep them going , and keep wondering/stressing ...but ...

Dear old girl ..I hope you see the time to be strong for her ,and let her leave her pain behind so she can travel light across the bridge ....

read this again ..

She gets restless and will wander the house for hours, coming up to me as if to ask something but she doesn't seem to know what she wants. I try to settle her somewhere comfy and she'll lay for a minute or two and then up she gets again looking at me with these confused and bewildered eyes, as if pleading me to do something for her.

Edited April 18, 2014 by persephone

[Kirislin]

Zoe was eating dirt a lot too for the last several months of her life, maybe even a year. I asked the vet and they had no idea why.

It drives me nuts to watch Penny doing it because I want her to get some nourishment, and all she does is eat dirt, then comes and looks at me with her beautiful eyes and grinds her teeth so I can hear the dirt crunching.

I wonder why they do it.

[Loving my Oldies]

Oh, Kirislin. It is heartbreaking just to read your post . All we want is for our darlings to be happy and so often we don't know how to do that.

I was just about to type that I have two dirt lickers, but realised it has been a while since they have done it as they did in the past. Near where I have the dogs leads hanging at the side gate, the dirt in the little garden was often furrowed away from where Danny would lick. And he caught the habit from Myrtie who would literally run along the ground licking, stopping and licking, etc. Very strange.

So whether dirt licking is something to do with old age, or not, I don't know. Myrtie never threw up the dirt, but Danny often did.

I knew the time was coming close with Rover (toy poodle nearly 20 when he died), he used to get caught in places and starting the whimpering that you and others have described. All he needed to do was just to back out, but he'd lost that knowledge.

Penny's time is definitely coming, but I don't think she is ready to go yet. It is not as easy as "when the time comes, you will know", sadly, but considering your deep and long bond with Penny, I rather feel you will know.

[redangel]

There is never a clear cut decision when oldies are getting to this stage in their life. For me, my head always has said when the bad days outnumber the good, the quality of life/dignity is dramatically reduced the time is getting very close. In my oldies when the simple pleasures and routines they participated in and enjoyed are frustratingly no longer for them I know I need to make a call.

That being said our hearts will always be pained even though we have clearly thought it out. My thoughts with you Kirislin.xx

[Staffyluv]

I'm so sorry - it really is the hardest decision to make.. Believe me when I say that you will know when it is time - they lose the life in their eyes and you can see, they have had enough of this life..

Ol was the same, old and sick and even the day before he was given his wings, he was jumping through the sprinklers at the park..

The day itself was totally different, I held his head in my hands and I looked into those big brown eyes and I knew - I didn't want to...

Just treasure the days that you have her - every one is precious and I know she will let you know..

[oakway]

So sorry to hear this, but you know my saying....it's better go a week to early than a week to late.

Edited April 19, 2014 by oakway

[Kirislin]

thank you all, I feel it's staring me in the face and I just dont want to make that final decision.

[VizslaMomma]

I notice her heart beats very quickly now too and she's incontinent sometimes. I took her to the vet a few months ago just for a check up and to see if there was anything else I could do for her but he said no, she's just old.

Perhaps you would think from my description it's time to let her go, but usually, at least once a day she gets the sillies and wants to play with the other dogs. That alone is probably what makes me hesitate and keep her going, but there's the other part of me that argues, why wait until she's lost even that desire to play and her whole existence is just pain and confusion?

I just dont know what to do. I wish someone could wave a magic wand and make it all better.

I am going thro' the exact same thing with my belovoed Tibor. Word for word what you wrote is what is happening with him.

May I ask you this?

Do you think that your darling Penny Whippet has real pain? Not the pain of stiff bones but pain because that is the part of her journey at this moment.

If not, then try to go on. Your bond with ALL your dogs is so obvious.

When Penny needs to go, you will both know.

In the mean time, love on with Penny.

I am making every minute special with Tibor.

Silly old boy tried to mount the little bitch the other day..... one for old time's sake. He would have keeled over if he could have.

I alternatively laughed & cried.

There is no wand,Kirislin. There is something even more special: LOVE.

That will be your answer

HUGS xxxx

[Sandra777]

Why do we let ourselves love them so much. It's never easy but I too believe that for people who treasure their dogs you do know when it's time. You never want to but you just do. Be kind to yourself and let her tell you when it's enough.

Edited April 19, 2014 by Sandra777

[VizslaMomma]

BTW, I got told years ago, older dogs eat dirt because of an imbalance with their systems. May be minerals lacking so they eat dirt.

When I lived in the USA, it was something I saw often over winter months.

[Salukifan]

She sounds senile. I have Ted here who is headed down that path also.

What does your vet say? I have heard about medication that can assist but don't know much about it.

This is never easy. Not sure what is worse, having their minds give out before their bodies do, or the reverse

[Dogsfevr]

For much of what you have wrote for us it would be the time is coming sooner than later .

From your post these words are the most important & would factor greatly in my decision

coming up to me as if to ask something but she doesn't seem to know what she wants. I try to settle her somewhere comfy and she'll lay for a minute or two and then up she gets again looking at me with these confused and bewildered eyes, as if pleading me to do something for her.

Its never easy but the one thing i learnt from hanging on to long with our first few dogs was i would never ever put my dogs through that again ,i feel guilty for the first ones letting them go on to long i don't feel the same with the others ,i new the where aking & it was time & it brought much relief to now i did it sooner than later

[grumpette]

We faced this same situation in November last year with our Gorgeous Baylee. She had pretty much stopped eating, which was so not her. Food was one of her greatest pleasures. I swore that I would not force feed her to keep her alive. Also because she was on heart and other medication she was not getting the correct dosage due to not eating. We tried all her favourites but they never lasted long. And her kidneys were failing. So even though we could have tried another medication for the kidneys, and she was chasing bubbles a few days beforehand, the not eating and the tiredness indicated that it was her time.

It is so very very hard and my heart aches for you.

All the very best to you and Penny.