tobie Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 We had two large breed dogs (male 14 yrs) (female 11 yrs) but sadly about a month ago we had our beautiful old boy put to sleep after succumbing to cancer. Our girl dog was very dependant on him. He was like her rock as he was always a calm laid back natured boy. She is a very nervous,emotional, highly strung girl. Since his passing she has been a bit of a mess. She is now petrified of storms to the point she ripped her dew claw off trying to get in the house. I have two young children and she has started growling at my youngest anytime he goes anywhere near her. From what I have observed she seems to be fearful of him. She never displayed any aggression towards our son prior to our other dogs death. Our dogs were always kept outdoors only occassionaly coming inside but since our boy has gone we now have our girl indoors a fair bit and she now sleeps in our house as she has been getting quite distressed on her own. I am after any advice to help my situation as I want to help our girl to be happy again and not be so distressed. I also can not risk my children being hurt. Thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelpiecuddles Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 Personally I think you could do with some professional help. I can see you are in NSW, if you are within reasonable proximity to Sydney I'd give Steve a yell.. http://k9pro.com.au/services/#HOME Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tobie Posted April 1, 2014 Author Share Posted April 1, 2014 Thanks for your reply Kelpie cuddles. I will have to find a behaviourist in my area as I'm not from Sydney. I will speak to my vet to see who they can recommend plus I can see what his thoughts are on our situation as well. I really wanted to get another dog but am worried that she could teach the new dog some of these behaviours. She does love other dogs and has never been without another dog for company. It is just so hard to know what the right thing is to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mita Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 Thanks for your reply Kelpie cuddles. I will have to find a behaviourist in my area as I'm not from Sydney. I will speak to my vet to see who they can recommend plus I can see what his thoughts are on our situation as well. I really wanted to get another dog but am worried that she could teach the new dog some of these behaviours. She does love other dogs and has never been without another dog for company. It is just so hard to know what the right thing is to do. Tobie, all dogs are different in what might be needed to help. But I had a remarkably similar experience. Our 2 tibbies were devoted to each other, especially the older smaller girl who looked up to her confident 'sister' as a leader. Thro' a veterinary treatment error, the confident girl, Gracie, suddenly died. For weeks, the older one kept looking for her... under gates, behind doors. Even when I took her to the vet to ask about it, she lay on the exam room floor, nose under door, expecting her 'sister' to be in the waiting room. The vet said most dogs recover from their grief & loss by about 3 weeks. Not so, in this case. The tibbie girl stopped looking as if she knew her 'sister' was not coming back. But then started the most pitiful 'keening; if she was ever left alone. Everything was tried.... behaviour management, medication, but didn't help. This went on for months & months. She got locked into the 'depression'. She was older, nearly 14 yrs, so maybe new learning & adjustment wasn't so easy. Looking back, I would have got expert help from a behaviourist right from the start . I might've even tried a another tibbie much sooner. As I said, each dog is different, so there may be totally different solutions for your doggie's case. So I agree with your checking it out with a good behaviourist. Best wishes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VizslaMomma Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Thanks for your reply Kelpie cuddles. I will have to find a behaviourist in my area as I'm not from Sydney. I will speak to my vet to see who they can recommend plus I can see what his thoughts are on our situation as well. I really wanted to get another dog but am worried that she could teach the new dog some of these behaviours. She does love other dogs and has never been without another dog for company. It is just so hard to know what the right thing is to do. Do consider even giving Steve a call. You can cover every angle to get the best help for your girl. I am sorry to hear of this situation and do hope you achieve a happy outcome. HUGS xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loving my Oldies Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 I really wanted to get another dog but am worried that she could teach the new dog some of these behaviours. She does love other dogs and has never been without another dog for company. It is just so hard to know what the right thing is to do. It is so difficult when this sort of behaviour happens: we are dealing with our own grief and this is compounded by the suffering of the other dog. As Mita says, all dogs are different and many of us have had the experience of losing one dog and the other one being consumed with grief and loss. My experience is limited, but I would be getting another dog as quickly as possible, taking into account your existing dog's personality and that of a potential new dog. Consider an older dog in foster care or an older ex-breeding dog from a breeder - in each case the dog would not be an unknown quantity. My sympathies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tobie Posted April 2, 2014 Author Share Posted April 2, 2014 Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences and thoughts as I really appreciate it. It is a very distressing situation for all of us as we all loved our boy so much and to now see our girl like this is breaking our hearts. My four year old daughter wanted to take her to her friends house so she could have a play date with their dog to make her feel better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loving my Oldies Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences and thoughts as I really appreciate it. It is a very distressing situation for all of us as we all loved our boy so much and to now see our girl like this is breaking our hearts. My four year old daughter wanted to take her to her friends house so she could have a play date with their dog to make her feel better. That is really sweet. When I lost one of my dogs (I had two Maltese, both brought home as 8 & 9 week old puppies so they had never been alone in their lives), the other one was a total wreck and I used to take him to a friends place in the morning before work (she had dogs of the same breed) and pick him up on the way home in the evening. The only thing that stopped his grief was getting another dog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louise6616 Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Awww, I feel for you :-( Would a pheramone/adaptil collar help at all? Hope you get it sorted, big hug :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tassie Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Have you investigated whether there are some alternative meds which could help her - I'd be looking for a vet who is also a holistic vet, maybe practising Chinese herbal medicine as well. You could also try Dr Kersti Seksel - a vet behaviourist - who might have some suggestiosn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louise6616 Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 ooo, I have a thundershirt here you are welcome too. Might help? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tikira Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 I am so sorry for you, your family and your remaining dog Tobie, and you have my condolences. We went through this last year, when we lost our 9 years old Jack Russell to snakebite. His "sister" had only ever known a home with Tip, but we sometimes looked after our nephews little dog Rollie too. Kira suffered grief and depression quite badly. She went really quiet, hardly ate, and kept looking for Tip. We tackled it by "borrowing" Rollie for a few weeks, then slowly weaning him from her, and this helped so much. We upped the training and games with Kira, took her to special places, and for really long walks, basically we "molly-coddled" her a bit. It was only when we got a our new puppy that things really improved, but that was still difficult, Kira did not take to him immediately, but time helped. You know your dog better than anyone, so you need to think of how she will best be helped. I agree that professional help may help, especially as you have children who need to be kept safe too. You are grieving, and so is your dog,and this takes on different forms for us all. Be kind to all of you, and do whatever it takes to help you all. Good luck, and keep posting on DOL. We understand what you are going through, so many of have similar experiences, and have little tips that have helped. Di Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VizslaMomma Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Good luck, and keep posting on DOL. We understand what you are going through, so many of have similar experiences, and have little tips that have helped. Di Let me just say the EMPATHY posted by many DOLs is touching. I've found such help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dogsfevr Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 I would not get another dog unless you want one & no guarantees she will accept a new dog or pup anyway . If your plan is to have another dog then i wouldn't rush out just to get her a mate . Her routine has changed big time even to he sleeping arrangements ,her pack leader is no longer there & she is now having to fend for herself without having the skills to do it . What is her hearing /eye sight like ?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JulesP Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Sorry you have lost your dog and your other dog is sad. When my first border collie passed I really thought my other border was just going to lay down and will herself to death. It was horrible. So I did get her a puppy friend. Whilst she was never quite the same she did pick up and lived for another 4 years. It sort of aged her overnight. Since my last oldest dog passed away the next oldest, Poppy, has developed a fear of storms. The older dog was fine with storms and Poppy showed no anxiety when he was alive. She is spookier with loud noises in general. My younger dog is still not worried by the storms and looks at Poppy like she isn't sure what the problem is. I have seen her trying to comfort Poppy too. Poppy is ok as long as she is inside the house during the storm and near me. I would also suggest getting professional help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tobie Posted April 2, 2014 Author Share Posted April 2, 2014 I am really touched by everyones help and kindness. Thank you all so much. You have given me some good ideas of what to do. I have always known that I would want another dog whenever one of my dogs passed. I just love dogs but I need to do my best to ensure that our girl is happy and that any of her problems would not affect a new dog. I do beleive that my girl would benefit from another dog as she is a sociable girl but think I will consult with a behaviouralist first Showdog- For her age she is a very active, fit and healthy dog without any hearing or vision problems. I think she is just simply so depressed about the loss of our boy that she simply can not tolerate our baby whilst she feels this way but I will have to see what a behaviourist advises. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mita Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 I do beleive that my girl would benefit from another dog as she is a sociable girl but think I will consult with a behaviouralist first Yes. I should've done that.... at first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tikira Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 We wanted another dog as soon as Tip passed, but knew that we needed to grieve first, we did not want to feel like we "replaced" Tip and find we resented the puppy for not being Tip, or for being too much like Tip. ( yeah, my thoughts were a mess) We were forced to wait for 6 months as we had a pre booked holiday in September, and did not want a young puppy's routine interupted. Trust me, it was hard to wait that long, on hindsight it was the best thing we could have done. We fell for the puppy in his own right straight away, and he is the best- totally worth the wait, and in the meantime, Kira got spoiled and she learned to be more independant, and is fine when we take puppy away for a while!..... and Kira has gone through a puppy stage again- she remembered how to play, on her terms, of course :laugh: Good luck with a behaviourist! Di Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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