louise6616 Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 Hi all, would love to hear your thoughts on this.. My neighbour's daughter (i think she's about 21yrs old) got a staffy girl about 4 months ago, making the dog around 9-10months now. This poor pup is just a trophy, not walked, not allowed inside, not included in the family, not even adequate outside bedding in my opinion (a very cheap slim foam bed, on concrete outside). Its yelled at for barking etc. Not desexed and now just coming on heat, not sure about vacc and chip - but doubtful! So hearing and seeing this poor baby home alone and miserable, we asked if she could come over and play with our dogs during the day - my theory being, if I can't take her, then I can at least socialise her and show her love etc. And if she is discarded later on, she has a better chance of being rehomed. I offered to pay for her desexing but they haven't yet agreed. Well, now of course, poor little pup never wants to go home. And when I take her home in the afternoon, she howls and cries and digs under the fence! Right now, as I type this. Its cold and raining out, she has been howling and digging under the fence for a few hours until she managed to wiggle through, and I have her in my home. What am I to do if they are annoyed, upset by this and won't let her come and play anymore? Is there any way I can convince them to surrender her to me? (although, I suspect they would just get another trophy pet to go with their undesexed, un vacced cat) I hate to see her so miserable, she was obviously unsocialised when they got her (she is a little but nervous). IT just breaks my heart to hear her crying, and I am praying they aren't planning on leaving her outside through winter.. Am I just making it worse for everyone, including the dog? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dogsfevr Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 This isn't your dog & you need to back off . Sadly now this dog is more confused & the howling may result in other neighbours complaining or it digging out on the wrong side or something awful happening . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Her Majesty Dogmad Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 Oh dear, that is so upsetting to hear about and yet I know it's not uncommon. Why people get dogs and do this to them I will never understand. They need to get her proper shelter and give her a good life, full of activities and love. The problems will keep increasing with time, the more miserable she gets and so on. It can be very hard to convince people to give their dogs up, sometimes the offer of money helps but if they use it to go and get another dog then you'll have another problem happening. Maybe you could suggest that you open up a gate in the fence so that she can pop in and out for a play with your dogs rather than make big holes and potentially injure herself? Say it's keeping your dogs busier and you don't mind having an extra dog, you don't even mind feeding her if they are busy? One day they might realise she's not ever popping back because she's much happier on your side of the fence. If they don't ever interact with her, would they notice all that much? Sometimes it's all about control and power, not love. You'd like to think people would be unselfish when it comes to this sort of thing but they aren't usually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loving my Oldies Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 I don't have any advice because it depends so much on the people. I am dealing with a similar issue at the moment. Morons across the road have a little pup who is confinded 24 hours a day seven days a week in a small front courtyard with no outlook to anywhere. Why people get dogs and treat them like this is incomprehensible to most people. It is just so heartbreaking. In your situation, where they have already let her visit you and your dogs, if you are able to take her and she gets on well with your dogs, I'd bite the bullet and ask if you can adopt her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louise6616 Posted March 26, 2014 Author Share Posted March 26, 2014 Yes, I agree Dogmad, I think it is about power and having a dog for the sake of having a dog! They are renting, we own our home. But we have a 1.8metre colourbond fence, so I'm not sure how I could have an opening put in it. I should probably add that I am an ex-foster carer (not that it has anything to do with anything), I am only not fostering because we adopted 2 of our fosters. They know my youngest child (2yr old) just adores the dog, and so far that has been the 'excuse' to have her stay a bit longer in the day. I work from home too, so we are always home.. I would rather have my limbs amputated than know that she is there, miserable, lonely, cold.. But I think showdog is right, and unfortunately as much as I want to help her, I am probably causing the poor pup a lot of stress. I have to find a non threatening way to approach the subject with them. I have a feeling they would be really p***ed off if I suggest we adopt her, as in their eyes 'they love and want her'. They just have really low standards for how animals should be kept. Uuugggh its hard!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelpiecuddles Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 This is how we got our old cat! She basically moved in with us and decided she didn't want to go home. We just played it that we didn't mind her coming for visits and if they ever needed someone to care for her we were happy to. Eventually they just asked if we wanted to keep her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Staffyluv Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 Hard call.. As a dog lover to see an animal purchased as a trophy dog but it happens all the time. Could you offer to buy the dog for your child, who is so in love with the dog? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hankdog Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 Dig a permanent tunnel under the fence? I would just play it cool, send her home with a dog coat in winter that you had spare. Gradual adoption, if you ask and they say no then it's final. It would break my heart to see this. At least she has a bit of socialization if she does get dumped later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persephone Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 (edited) Tricky . You are allowing someone else's dog into your home . Someone else's dog - potentially unvaccinated . Someone else's dog - who now will seek out the life you have shown her .....and , even if you never have her inside again , will try and try to get there. You have only good intentions - I know - The next doors may now think having a dog is even easier- cos the neighbour will take care of it ... It is really unfair on this dog to now just block access ..and not ideal to have someone else's dog at your place - Rock :Hard place . hope it all ends well ... Edited March 26, 2014 by persephone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christina Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 No point in allowing free access as that means your dogs can get in their yard which I assume you don't want. They are not going to do anything different re care no matter what as they think this is an acceptable way to keep a dog. I would ask them if you can have her. Offer to buy her, money talks sometimes, even if its only $50. Say your dogs love her & she likes being there & you have fallen in love with her so you would be so happy to own her. No comments on their neglect, it may get their backs up. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persephone Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 trouble is, if you do buy the dog ..then that leaves them free to get another cute puppy .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louise6616 Posted March 26, 2014 Author Share Posted March 26, 2014 Thanks for sharing your input everyone. I agree with what you are all saying. I think I might make a bit of a fuss about how great it is having her over to play (for my dogs and my kiddos), and how much we miss having foster dogs. Then perhaps suggest that we start a 'doggie day care' arrangement. But, instead of them paying me - I'll pay them. Even if its only $50 a week, it might be enough to keep them happy, without them going and getting another dog. They bought her from the paper, I think paid $100 or $200 for her, if I wanted to purchase her I would need to offer at least double for it to seem attractive, but of course - they will probably just go and buy another dog. When they first bought her I asked if she was desexed, they said they wanted puppies so weren't planning on desexing her... I am praying they have enough common sense to keep her away from any entire males for the next week while she is on heat. Oh no, I most certainly don't want my dogs to have free access to their yard. My big boy dog dislikes them greatly, that would not end well!! I messaged them this morning to ask what time she needed to be home, and could she come back over to play for the day - but no response yet. Thanks everyone :) :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loving my Oldies Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 Good luck, Louise6616 ... and hugs to the little dog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aziah Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 Thanks for sharing your input everyone. I agree with what you are all saying. I think I might make a bit of a fuss about how great it is having her over to play (for my dogs and my kiddos), and how much we miss having foster dogs. Then perhaps suggest that we start a 'doggie day care' arrangement. But, instead of them paying me - I'll pay them. Even if its only $50 a week, it might be enough to keep them happy, without them going and getting another dog. They bought her from the paper, I think paid $100 or $200 for her, if I wanted to purchase her I would need to offer at least double for it to seem attractive, but of course - they will probably just go and buy another dog. When they first bought her I asked if she was desexed, they said they wanted puppies so weren't planning on desexing her... I am praying they have enough common sense to keep her away from any entire males for the next week while she is on heat. Oh no, I most certainly don't want my dogs to have free access to their yard. My big boy dog dislikes them greatly, that would not end well!! I messaged them this morning to ask what time she needed to be home, and could she come back over to play for the day - but no response yet. Thanks everyone :) :) Whaaaaaaaat?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raineth Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 No don't go paying them every week, that will probably just lead them to taking complete advantage of you. I'm not sure what you could do, especially as they may just go and get another dog. How long will they be renting the house next to you do you think? It might not be much longer if they have already been there a few months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purdie Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 Just tell them what you have told us ;that the dog is unhappy and why.Then ask if they will sell the dog to you. They can only say yes or no.They could be unaware that the dog needs more attention and think the dog is doing fine. If you tell them strait out what care the dog needs then they may try to do better by him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loving my Oldies Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 IMO - no, don't offer them any money at this stage. Just keep going the way you are, letting the dog in (forgetting to put her back :D :D ), wait until you think is the right moment and offer to buy her because your dogs and your baby love her so much. Little anecdote of my own :D . I used to see a tiny black Pomeranian sitting neglected on a front porch. The people used to go away camping at weekends, taking their much larger dog with them and leaving the little Pom alone. I considered stealing him (let the stones fly people :laugh: :laugh: ) but realised I'd never be able to give him the life my dogs had (lots of walks and trips to the park) because the people lived just a couple of streets away from me. So I shillied and shallied, even took him to the vet once for treatment which they were more than happy for me to do and paid up well over $100 without a blink. When I finally offered to buy him, the women said that had I asked about 18 months ago, she would have said yes, but they had started to take him with them on the weekends away and he loved it. So, it is a fine line you will need to draw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persephone Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 Please do not offer them money to have THEIR dog in YOUR yard ........... there is something very odd about that ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justrace Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 Can you contact the Real Estate Agent to see if they know that they have a dog? I had this same problem in my last house & called the Agent - turns out they weren't allowed to have any pets, the dog ended up going to live with her parents and was allowed in the house & taken every where with them :D best outcome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dididog Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 It makes me so sad and confused that people buy a dog just so they can stick it in the yard and leave it there. My across the road neighbours have a dog and it is outside 24/7 and lies by the gate on the concrete all day waiting for them to come home. It never gets walked and I never hear them play with it in fact I only hear them tell the dog to stop barking and that's it for interaction Its such a tricky situation to resolve properly... But I think the best thing you could do is at least try and talk to them about it and see where that gets you. There are plenty dodgy (and tempting) ways to get her out of the situation but unfortunately she isn't your dog and ultimately you have to let them do what theyre going to do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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