kelpiecuddles Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 (edited) Something I've been musing on for a while now. I have a breeder who I really like and have got to know for a while now(not a member on this site). They have lovely dogs which do well in conformation, etc but I just have a feeling they aren't the right style within the breed for what I'm looking for. I've had my eye on dogs from a few other breeders, been watching their progress, etc and have an idea of where i would like to look when I'm ready for my next dog but I know that the breeder friend of mine isn't fond of one of these breeders in particular for their own reasons. So I'm feeling a little in a bind, I think their dogs are lovely but they aren't what i want and if I do get a dog from someone else, particularly if it's the breeder they doesn't like(who has actually offered me a pup in the past but the timing was bad) are they going to feel like it's an insult to their dogs(which it certainly wouldn't be meant as, theirs are lovely)... Sigh, makes me wish it was a totally different breed! So if any one can advise how best to sensitively approach this situation I'd really appreciate it. A lot of the breeders I've been considering have recently had litters and won't have another for a while and it's likely that I'll need to start seriously considering my options and talking to breeders if I want to get the sort of pup I'm after in the next 18 month ish. Edited March 15, 2014 by kelpiecuddles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surik.saints Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 Something I've been musing on for a while now. I have a breeder who I really like and have got to know for a while now(not a member on this site). They have lovely dogs which do well in conformation, etc but I just have a feeling they aren't the right style within the breed for what I'm looking for. I've had my eye on dogs from a few other breeders, been watching their progress, etc and have an idea of where i would like to look when I'm ready for my next dog but I know that the breeder friend of mine isn't fond of one of these breeders in particular for their own reasons. So I'm feeling a little in a bind, I think their dogs are lovely but they aren't what i want and if I do get a dog from someone else, particularly if it's the breeder they doesn't like(who has actually offered me a pup in the past but the timing was bad) are they going to feel like it's an insult to their dogs(which it certainly wouldn't be meant as, theirs are lovely)... Sigh, makes me wish it was a totally different breed! So if any one can advise how best to sensitively approach this situation I'd really appreciate it. A lot of the breeders I've been considering have recently had litters and won't have another for a while and it's likely that I'll need to start seriously considering my options and talking to breeders if I want to get the sort of pup I'm after in the next 18 month ish. I think you have answered your own questions,if the dog's your breeder friend is breeding is not the style and type you are after,you have to obtain your dog's from somewhere else,as long as they fit within the standard of your chosen breed,everyone and every judge interprets the standards differently,so your never going to please everyone,like any show arena,the dog arena is no better than the others,full of bitchiness and in fighting,interpret the standard of your chosen breed and pick the breeder YOU think is breeding the better dog's and those animals which fit within the standard the best,if your breeder friend can not accept this,maybe their not the mentor you need. I myself am the biggest critic of my own breeding. though I do not agree with everyone else's views I can accept that this is their opinions and they are entitled to them,if we where all exactly the same and of the same views,plus bred exactly the same dog's,style.type and temperament there would be absolutely no need for dog shows.go with your own gut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelpiecuddles Posted March 15, 2014 Author Share Posted March 15, 2014 Both breed excellent dogs so it's not a question of which dogs are better, they are just different styles and would probably appeal to different judges for different reasons if you know what I mean. I'm more concerned with how best to broach this issue without insulting people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty Miss Emma Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 I have a friend who has a litter planned for this year, she has said I can have one of the pups if I'd like. There would be many advantages to getting one of these pups as there would be no restrictions on it and I would watch it grow from day 1. However, like you these pups are not going to be right for me; partly due to "style" partly due to temperament and the rest due to timing! In some ways I'm lucky the timing wouldn't suit as it makes it much easier to have the conversation, but I've also said that the probably aren't going to be quite what I'm looking for especially as my interest in knowing the ins and outs of the breed better has grown over the past 12 months. She hasn't taken offence and has even at times put forward the comment of "one of my dogs wouldn't be right for you" as we discuss the sorts of things I'm looking for in a dog. They shouldn't take offence to it, really it should just be a point of conversations to look at the differences between the two (I know easier said than done sometimes!!). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rainy Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 Id say it depends on your relationship with the original breeder, if you have only been friendly with them to purchase a puppy they may take it badly however if it has been more of a mentoring type relationship they should be able to accept that you have developed your own 'type' in that breed and are looking for a pup to suit your 'type' not theirs. iykwim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelpiecuddles Posted March 15, 2014 Author Share Posted March 15, 2014 Yes I'm quietly hoping my breeder friend decides not to breed for a while so that when i am looking they aren't likely to have anything LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelpiecuddles Posted March 15, 2014 Author Share Posted March 15, 2014 Yes more towards the second Rainy I guess but mostly just a shared love of the breed type friendship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salukifan Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 I'm more concerned with how best to broach this issue without insulting people. Easy, be diplomatic but honest. Explain that you've decided you prefer a particular type and why. Most breeders don't find any difficulty homing dogs. It shouldn't be any skin off their nose if you don't take a pup. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dame Aussie Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 I'm more concerned with how best to broach this issue without insulting people. Easy, be diplomatic but honest. Explain that you've decided you prefer a particular type and why. Most breeders don't find any difficulty homing dogs. It shouldn't be any skin off their nose if you don't take a pup. I'm not a breeder but I would do the same. Just be honest, if they take offense that's their issue, though I don't see why they would as you're not questioning their breeding/dogs :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelpiecuddles Posted March 15, 2014 Author Share Posted March 15, 2014 I guess I'll mostly be nervous if in the end I do decide to go with the breeder they dislike as they are currently who i am leaning towards. I think they are both excellent breeders but really hoping it doesn't get weird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dame Aussie Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 How much do they dislike them?! :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelpiecuddles Posted March 15, 2014 Author Share Posted March 15, 2014 Well they are pretty reserved people so I think just the fact that they told me they don't like them probably indicates a fair bit LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dame Aussie Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 I guess at worst it could get a bit awkward? Which is yucky enough :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christina Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 No idea how you deal with it but if they do get offended there is not much you can do about it anyway. It is also very unpredictable as to whether someone will get offended or not. There is no point in getting the dog you don't want so a breeder doesn't get offended. Why they dislike the other breeders & how close friends are you may have to be taken into account. If someone did something I considered awful to one of my close friends I wouldn't care how good their dogs were I would steer clear, it may reflect their ethics, but if they were only acquaintances & it was minor or petty I would ignore it all & do what I wanted. No easy way with this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RuralPug Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 Sit down and have a heart to heart with your friend. If they really dislike the other breeder there may or may not be a good reason, but if they are reserved they probably haven't said exactly why. Explain that type really appeals to you and why. Then ask if you could source that type from another person than the EVIL one would it bother her? If it turns out no, then you are going to have to winkle out why the EVIL breeder is considered EVIL by your friend. It might be nothings that matters to you, some sort of personal spat, but on the other hand if, hypothetically, the EVIL label was because of being careless with pedigree accuracy or having cheated puppy purchasers in some way, then that is something you really do need to know. And if so, you will probably need to have it verified by a third party. Sigh. It's all part of research, research, research. If it turns out that the type is just wrong to her and not the other particular breeder then you two will have either lots of time to convince each other or can agree to disagree. If, after the heart to heart, you still want to proceed and your breeder friend can't accept or deal with that, then you are going to have to find another mentor in the breed. But if she does accept it, then you have a ready made advisor you will feel really comfortable asking all the stupid questions that we need to ask with a breed we haven't reared before! Summing up, be honest - now. It would be less of a "betrayal" to let her know what you are planning and why than to suddenly appear to side with the enemy by selecting a pup from them! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelpiecuddles Posted March 15, 2014 Author Share Posted March 15, 2014 Ruralpug I must admit I have fears it is that they take issue with the other breeders dogs, although so far I haven't been able to determine what that reason may be. It's one of those sticky situations where you can't work out where the gossip ends and the truth starts. Think I'll just have to wade through it as best i can and ask questions of everyone I can and hope the truth becomes easier to see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christina Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 Ruralpug I must admit I have fears it is that they take issue with the other breeders dogs, although so far I haven't been able to determine what that reason may be. It's one of those sticky situations where you can't work out where the gossip ends and the truth starts. Think I'll just have to wade through it as best i can and ask questions of everyone I can and hope the truth becomes easier to see. If this is what the issue is, the dogs, you don't need to ask questions of everyone. You need to ask your friends outright exactly what it is. You may be suprised, it could be something like welfare issues & nothing to do with type etc. Then decide what to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelpiecuddles Posted March 15, 2014 Author Share Posted March 15, 2014 Sorry I didn't mean ask questions of everyone regarding this particular breeder I just meant ask general questions about lines, etc of everyone to decide who I want to consider more seriously to put my name down with for a pup. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kavik Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 I have been in a similar sort of situation, with a friend breeding my chosen breed but I wasn't sure that her dogs were what I was looking for at the time. I talked to her a lot about what I was looking for and breeder recommendations etc, she didn't have a problem with me choosing a different breeder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JulesP Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 Say to your friend that you really like xxxx dog of the other breeders, ask what they think and see were the convo leads you. Sometimes breeders don't like other breeders for any good reason, sometimes they have a good reason! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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