Making "that" Decision

[MadWoofter]

My beautiful girl Tess is nearly 12 which I know is pretty darn good for a large breed. She's a bit deaf (mostly selective hearing though) and her eyesight seems OK. She does get a bit disoriented sometimes. The biggest problem is her back legs which are starting to give out (she fell up the front stairs the other morning) and she has a sarcoma on her hind leg (which is slow-growing and hasn't metastasised).

She's very stoic physically but is a big sook emotionally. She didn't bat an eyelid with a cut foot pad, but will cry if she wants to sit next to me on the sofa and Fleming is in the way. The last two days though she's started whinging before letting me know she wants to go out to toilet. We're booked in to see the vet on Thursday.

I know her time is nearly here, and the last thing I want to do is delay it if she's in discomfort or pain, but how do you prepare for this? I get into bits just thinking about it. She's my heart dog

[Rebanne]

You can't prepare, you just do, one foot in front of another. Never an easy time. Hugs to you and Tess.

[stellnme]

What Rebanne said. Also enjoy each day with them.

[Kavik]

*Hugs* I went through this recently. Enjoy each day with them.

[Sares]

You can't prepare, you just do, one foot in front of another. Never an easy time. Hugs to you and Tess.

Exactly that ^^^..

Just remember, when you do make that decision, know you are doing what is right for them. No more pain.

[Loving my Oldies]

I sympathise with you, Madwoofter.

Despite having had many dogs in the past 20 years, I've never had one who "was just winding down". Most were elderly to start with and fairly compromised healthwise. However, my Danny, who has been with me for 12 years, is now 14 plus and really starting to show his age. I find I am watching him like a hawk and choking up from time to time when I see obvious signs that he is now an old and geriatric dog.

I hope that you have lots more time with Tess and both you and she can enjoy that time to the full.

[RiverStar-Aura]

You can't prepare, you just do, one foot in front of another. Never an easy time. Hugs to you and Tess.

Exactly that ^^^..

Just remember, when you do make that decision, know you are doing what is right for them. No more pain.

I too agree with Rebanne -- no amount of prep will help. You do it because it must be done and because it's out of love you have to hope that's enough to help put you at ease.

All my love to you and Tess!!

[Marion 01]

This is the worst part of having dogs MadWoofter, having had multiple dogs for many years and most of them around the same age give or take a year or two, it is really hard when you know their time is coming. We are on watch with our oldies all the time, usually we make the decision when their quality of life is no more, as much as we don't want them to go it is the kindest thing for them. Even though it breaks our hearts, we know that we have always done the right thing by them and they have never wanted for anything, our home is their home. I make memorial posters for our kids at Rainbow Bridge and it helps just being able to look at them as they were.

[tdierikx]

It's never an easy decision - but you will realise when it's the right decision...

This time last year I honestly thought I was going to have to make the same decision for my Zeddy... even going so far as to price the procedure with the local vet...

Zeddy came good on her own and is still going strong today... and we still don't know what was the cause of her apparent decline back then. She was unsteady on her feet and fell up the steps a number of times too.

T.

[Kirislin]

you have my sympathy. I just went through this with Kibah (almost 14yo whippet) and although I knew she was old it came on suddenly and took me by surprise, but in her case I had no doubt that her time had come.

I still have old Penny here. She's almost 15 and is a bit like you describe, she's going in the back legs and I think now going senile. She's very frail, much more than Kibah was, and I've been nursing her along for over a year now. She's skinny and gets a bit confused, she needs help most of the time to get on the bed, I have to lift her into the car, and I've got to make sure the others dont knock her about. The reason I dont think she's ready to go yet though is because at least once a day she bounds about like a puppy, a very wobbly puppy, but she still gets an attack of the sillies and has a sense of fun. I know she cant go on much longer though.

Although it's easier to say than do, I've realised all my worrying about when her time comes is pointless. It's inevitable and all we can do is love them and give them a good life, and a peaceful end. As with all of my dogs, I worried at the thought of not having Kibah around anymore, but I have actually accepted her passing better than I anticipated. I think because I could see there was nothing I could do to fix her condition I am somehow at ease about her passing. I'm still missing her, but not actually wishing she was still here, because I know she'd be in pain if she was. Yes, I wish they could live forever, but I hope like me, you will be able to accept it better knowing you couldn't have done anything more for her, or loved Tess anymore than you have.

[~Anne~]

Wait till you've spoken to your vet. He/she may be able to give you some perspective on what is happening.

It's never easy.

It's the only reason I hate owning pets. I have a million more reasons why I love owning them but that is the ultimate pain for me.

It's a decision that rips my heart out.

I know people say you know when it's time but that to me makes it sound like the signs are easy to see. It certainly doesn't seem easy to see when you're living it.

Edited March 11, 2014 by ~Anne~

[Little Gifts]

My oldest made it three months shy of 17. For the last six months of her life we were at the vet every single month to monitor any changes because honestly, I couldn't work out when it was her time. Prior to that, the year before we probably had check ups every three months.

She was such a tough cookie and already had so many serious ailments yet remained a very active and involved dog so she was no help to me whatsoever! I think she would've kicked on for another few months but it got to the stage that my main fear was her having an accident when no-one was home. I was worried that perhaps she would get stuck in a corner for hours (dementia) or get one of her legs caught in one of the dog bed frames (arthritis) and be like that for an extended period of time, or that she might be incontinent and be lying in it because no-one was home to clean it up. I still question did I let her go a smidge too quick but I'd rather have done that than subjected her to an accident and left her helpless for a couple of hours. She would've hated that and become very distressed.

All I can say is don't leave it until it is too late. Old age and death is a fact of life. Let her go out with some dignity, still knowing your loving arms around her.

[VizslaMomma]

I know her time is nearly here, and the last thing I want to do is delay it if she's in discomfort or pain, but how do you prepare for this? I get into bits just thinking about it. She's my heart dog

Not sure you ever prepare as such.

But I made a promise that neither of the older boys would suffer, or be in discomfort or kept going for my sake.

My heart boy left me last August. That day I took him to the Vet I had no inkling of the outcome.

Not ready ever but my heart says I honoured my promises.

You will have the strength too.

Much love to you Madwoofter and the beautiful Tess.

[harley]

Others have said it much better than I could, just wanted you to know I am thinking of you

[DaneLover233]

Aww it's never easy, this makes me sad just reading it as mine are getting on in age also. Maybe try and do something special with her, like take her out just the 2 of you (or family included) so you have one extra special day before the time comes.

[Tassie]

What everyone else has said.

The only thing I would add is that I've found it really helpful to consider ahead of time whether you're going to opt for burial or cremation. I've buried some cats, although the last one I had cremated. My three dogs I have lost - one old ("decision") and the other two fairly sudden and unexpected deaths - have had individual cremations. I found it a real comfort in the middle of a really stressful time, to have made that decision in advance.

[MadWoofter]

Thanks everyone for your input, I've been having a big think today, and what Kirislin said really struck a chord

The reason I dont think she's ready to go yet though is because at least once a day she bounds about like a puppy, a very wobbly puppy, but she still gets an attack of the sillies and has a sense of fun. I know she cant go on much longer though [/Quote]

She is still getting enjoyment out of the little things, and still does what I call the wormy-squirmies - rolling around on her back waving her legs in the air and talking to me. She still seems happy within herself but she has been a lot quieter recently and is sleeping much more.

Of course, while I know this is very difficult for me, I will not be letting her suffer in any way. I will take the advice of my vet (who I trust) and watch her closely over the next few days. The moment I feel she's not happy I know it is time.

This has been coming for a while, she was quite ill late last year and I didn't think she'd make Xmas. Time to leave work early and spend some time with my girl in the garden methinks.

[White Shepherd mom]

The final goodbye is not something you can prepare for. You do what you have to do for your faithful mate and you crumble after it's over. Like others have said, I know Casper's time is also coming but if he is not suffering, I will keep him with me for as long as I can because the thought of losing him is already starting to destroy me.

Just know that you are not alone in this.

[_PL_]

I'm so sorry, she is a gorgeous girl and I know how much you love her.

I understand how you feel, it's a frightening time really. You start to feel grief way before saying goodbye. If you ever need moral support TD has my number or PM or email anytime.

Hugs for Tess.

[Amax-1]

Making "that" decision isn't easy and what I have learned over the years is to put the dog first.....I have in the past as most of us probably have, allowed old dogs in pain which they hide, live on too long....the time is right when they no longer can sustain their normal functions unassisted I believe, but having said that it doesn't make it any easier.

In preparation for "that" day.....I start years earlier which helped slightly....one of my puppies a GSD is nearly 7 years old which seems like a couple of years ago we bought him home at 8 weeks old.....how long will he last...8 years, 10, 12 or will his body fail next week?. At the moment he's as strong as ever, no different to when he was 3 years old, but every time now he is aging we do something, we train, we walk, whatever I make it a good one, a memory to cherish spending quality time with an aging dog, to embrace each moment they are here and remain fit and healthy once they exceed the half way mark of their life expectancy.

We tend to concentrate a lot on the younger dogs when having multiple dogs who need the work in raising and training and take the older seasoned dogs for granted until it's too late as they are not with us for long. What helped me anyway in preparation for "that" day is taking each great day with the dog and storing that in the memory bank to look back on if that makes sense :)