Brian_Newcastle Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 My darling Jack Russell. You were the first and only dog I ever had. I took you from a family that loved you but could not care for you anymore when you were 3 or 4. I remember I saw an advertisement for you the local paper early one morning (about 4am), when for some reason I woke up and went down the street to get the paper. I called the advertisement very early and my girlfriend at the time woke up and we went for a drive to pick you up. We drove in my sports car and it was a foggy morning. When we took you the young boy of the previous family who owned you said goodbye and shed a tear. I remember the first night we had you, you slept in the laundry but you were crying too much, so you slept in the bed with me and my girlfriend which I was quite happy with :) You quickly found a nice warm spot under the blanket. You had a skin irritation which we took you to the vet for and quickly got fixed with a change in diet. I quickly trained you to do your business on a fake piece of grass as we lived in an apartment. You were now my dog :) You ran away from me once but I found you and brought you back. You lived with me for approximately 10 years. You spent time with my mother when my 2nd girlfriend got sick of you being in our apartment. You spent time with my father while I was overseas. You lived in different cities with me. You have seen me through three different girlfriends! You played with my first child up until the age of two. You have been gone a few days but my young one still goes out to the backyard and says "Kirby" "Kirby" I'm glad that he cannot understand that you are gone forever. Up until your death my darling, you were a happy, active dog. You showed no signs of sickness or ill health. Before or in between my girlfriends, you always slept in my bed. I'll never forget the time you pinched the freshly cooked meat off my plate that I cooked for lunch and then went and hid under the bed. In the later years of your life I did not get to spend as much time with you as I would have liked. I would've loved for you to come and sit on the couch with me, sleep in my bed but my wife didn't like all the hair you used to shed around the house so our time was mainly limited outside. Please don't take this personally, it had nothing to do with how much I loved you. I had a great time with you with my second girlfriend as she didn't mind you inside and you got to sit on the couch with me for hours on end. Sleep on my lap and play. In the last few days of your life when I saw you, you seemed normal. The night before you died, I was going to come out to the backyard before I went to sleep to make sure you had food and water for the night but I didn't because I heard you running around and playing. I wish I got to say my last goodbye. You always awaited my arrival with a wagging tail. I have previously had nightmares of your death of not moving or finding you dead. You were getting up in years (about 13 I believe) and I was worried how your eventual death would affect me. A few times when I saw you lying in the backyard, I have called your name to make sure that you moved and that you were alive to my great relief. But the other morning, I noticed you lying near your sunbaking spot but it was too early as the sun hadn't come out yet. I looked from a distance for your chest breathing...there was nothing. I called your name a few times sharply and there was no answer....I knew you were dead. I approached you and you looked peaceful. Your eyes were open. There were no signs of injury. You were lukewarm, you hadn't been gone long. If I knew you were going, I would've spent as much time with you as I could've. You meant a lot to me. I wrapped you up, gave you a kiss and took you away. I didn't bury you in my backyard as it would be too much of a reminder. Tonight on my way home from work, I disposed of your eating bowls, house, bed and collar. I'm sorry I didn't tuck you in every night, I knew you loved that. I have never lost a close family member before and you are the first to go...I'm just really sad that I cannot bring you back. Some people might think it's silly but it's just how I feel. The night before your death, you were barking at the pizza boy. Everything seemed normal. I don't know why you died. You never had any serious health problems in the past and you were only 13. I thought you had a few good years left in you yet! A seizure? A stroke? Did you choke or eat something poisonous? I'm not sure... I decided not to get a necropsy as it wouldn't bring you back. Prior to this, the most difficult events I have had to deal with in life have been braking up with long term girlfriends. Well Kirby, you were with me for 10 years and you left all of a sudden. I could talk and ramble about you for hours. During the week before your death, my wife and I were arguing. I hope this didn't affect you in any way? To be honest, I took you for granted. You were always there and you were always there for me. Besides the nightmares I had, I could never really picture you gone and I wouldn't and still don't know how to deal with you being gone. Anyway, my good friend, thankyou for the pleasure of your company, thankyou for your personality, thankyou for trusting me and thankyou for making my years of 18 to 28 enjoyable. I feel empty without you and the feeling doesn't feel like it's going to go away. When I found you, your body was lifeless, it was as if you had left it. Wherever you may be now, please know that you were much loved and I will miss you forever. One day in the long future, I may be able to think about you and have a smile without shedding a tear but at the moment no matter what I'm doing, when I think about you, I shed a tear... See you my little man :'-( RIP 27/02/2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scottsmum Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 That was very hard to read. But incredibly beautiful. Lots of love to you and your family. Take care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harley Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 Goodbye little Kirby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persephone Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 Kirby ... run & bark now over the bridge ... That was a beautiful tribute . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loving my Oldies Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 Brian Newcastle - that was one of the most heartfelt posts I have ever read. Little Kirby. Your dad really loved you and you were a faithful companion to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Gifts Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 Oh Brian that was so honest and heartfelt. I'm sure Kirby knew how you felt about him even if you weren't always able to show it. Even if we had them for 20 years it is never long enough. They give so much of themselves. Run free over the bridge now beautiful boy and may all the much loved dogs who have gone before you be there to show you the ropes. Take care of yourself Brian. Non-doggy people don't quite understand what you are going through but we do. Many of us have been exactly where you are right now, grieving and questioning. XXX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tikira Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 Brian, I know Kirby knew you loved him and that you treated every moment with him as special. I lost my boy Tip about this time last year suddenly, and I feel you pain about not being able to say goodbye, and to be holding them to ease their way to the Rainbow Bridge, but I think maybe he did that one last selfless thing for you. Talk about him as much as you need and don't be afraid to shed tears. He was obviously a huge part of your life, and was a loved famly member, a companion and a confidant. Sadly those who have never known the unconditional love of a dog may not understand your level of grief, but we do here, so keep sharing your feelings with us. Run fast, Run free, go chase the bunnies, birds and penny lizards Kirby Di Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian_Newcastle Posted March 1, 2014 Author Share Posted March 1, 2014 Thankyou for your kind words. Each day seems to get easier as I adjust to not having her and knowing that she is no longer there. I suppose all people have to go through grief whether it be a loved pet or a human relative. In some ways I'm glad she died all of a sudden, rather than being sick or having to make a decision to euthanise her. Sometimes I can try and think rationally about her and other times I go to pieces. From checking her paperwork, I believe she was actually 11 rather than 13 as I first stated. Is that too young for a seemingly healthy Jack Russell to die? She was an unspayed female. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loving my Oldies Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 Could it have been snake bite? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Gifts Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 I look at anything over 10 as a bonus. Apparently only a small percentage of dogs make it to 10 or older for various reasons. And sorry for thinking Kirby was a boy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dame Aussie Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 Sorry for your loss RIP Kirby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian_Newcastle Posted March 1, 2014 Author Share Posted March 1, 2014 Could it have been snake bite? I thought maybe a snake or a spider bite. But we don't have long grass and have never previously spotted spiders beyond the odd huntsman and don't have any trees in the backyard. Thankyou for all your replies and interest. It gives me comfort to converse with other dog lovers. According to various online sources, it says that the average age for Jack Russell's is 13-15 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiverStar-Aura Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 Lovely tribute to a much loved girl. Be at peace Kirby. Brian, I do strongly believe she knew how much you loved her; I always believe dogs know everything. They're far smarter than us humans!! Being an undesexed female can have serious health risks, but sometimes not too. Don't focus too much on cause of death, just spend your time enjoying her memories. Perhaps plant a tree in her memory and maybe, when you feel the time is right, you could have a little memorial stone or plaque made to honour her. I'm sorry you lost your girl, but please feel free to share whatever lovely memories you want with us here. We all understand your heartbreak at losing a beloved pet. RIP and run free Kirby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelissaS Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 What a beautiful and heartbreaking tribute. So touching So very sorry for your loss. You obviously loved her so much and she knew. DOL is a great place to talk and grieve about our much loved dogs. People here understand. R.I.P Kirby run happy and free beautiful girl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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