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How Do I Increase Her Confidence?


Kirislin
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I have an Italian greyhound puppy, she's just turned 6 months old and although she was never completely outgoing and gushy with strangers she was gaining confidence, but now she's becoming more wary and shy. The last thing I want is a scaredy cat iggy. Would it help if I get strangers to give her treats?

She's also scared of the dark, and even moreso after last night, I assume there was a fox or kangaroo outside and the big boy whippets went beserk. She was really frightened after their carry on.

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6 months already!? Time flies!

Not too many Iggies I've met have been overly outgoing with strangers - they've been a little aloof like most of the Whippets I've met.

I can see the fact that she's really pretty would make most people want to pat her, but I reckon that SHE should dictate the terms of stranger contact herself. Maybe if you tell people to ignore her and let her decide whether she wants to interact or not in her own time...

T.

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6 months already!? Time flies!

Not too many Iggies I've met have been overly outgoing with strangers - they've been a little aloof like most of the Whippets I've met.

I can see the fact that she's really pretty would make most people want to pat her, but I reckon that SHE should dictate the terms of stranger contact herself. Maybe if you tell people to ignore her and let her decide whether she wants to interact or not in her own time...

T.

That IS a good suggestion, but people always seem so disappointed and almost offended when she shuns them. :laugh:
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I know that I'd want to rush up and give her a cuddle... she is just so pretty... but then I think how I'd feel with people wanting to fawn all over me (if I were as pretty as Neko), and I think letting her choose the terms of contact will be better for her own confidence levels than any other method...

T.

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. . . . but people always seem so disappointed and almost offended when she shuns them. :laugh:

I can understand that, K, but you have to be strong for Neko. People are always wanting to pay Tamar who, even at 10+, still looks like a puppy. She is very timid and when people come up to me (mainly because I am walking at minimum 3 dogs mostly 5 :D :D ) wanting pats, I tell them to stay away from Tamar because she is timid. Given time and when she sees the others getting pats, she often approaches people.

Neko and you have a wonderful life together with all the other dogs - if one part of her isn't working in some way or other, frankly, does it matter? :) :) :)

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You can take my advice with a grain of salt....

I had a Miniature Pinscher who was the same (no shock there :laugh:), what I did to him was hand him over to people for a cuddle. At first he would give a rather horrified, ":eek: ...some PERSON is TOUCHING me", but it didn't take him long to relax. I did this often and continually through out his life. He did tolerate people touching him and even solicited attention at times. In the ring he was great. On walks he was a bit hit and miss. It wasn't so much that he was scared of people, he just wasn't that into anyone that was his family.

I did it this way because at first he wouldn't even want to get close enough to people to want to take food.

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thanks all. I suppose I am mostly concerned if she's to be shown. As a pet of a hermit (me) it probably doesn't matter if she's stand offish although I would like to have the best most well balanced little girl she is capable of being.

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you're aiming too far too fast. You're trying to flick her straight into positive associations while she's already anxious about a situation and it's too much pressure. Aim for neutrality first. So when people are near the dog learns they are nothing to be concerned about. You be the one feeding her the treats close and closer to people until she's almost on top of them and not caring they are they. You need to clean the association slate per say, have her concentrating and in a thinking mode before you can then get her to start associating people as being slightly positive (and not too positive or you get a dog that doesn't listen to you!) For showing you don't want her to be bouncing all over them anyway, use the stand for examination as an obedience exercise, so neutrality towards strangers (they're neither scary nor exciting) and they will touch you but don't worry about it, focus on me.

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you're aiming too far too fast. You're trying to flick her straight into positive associations while she's already anxious about a situation and it's too much pressure. Aim for neutrality first. So when people are near the dog learns they are nothing to be concerned about. You be the one feeding her the treats close and closer to people until she's almost on top of them and not caring they are they. You need to clean the association slate per say, have her concentrating and in a thinking mode before you can then get her to start associating people as being slightly positive (and not too positive or you get a dog that doesn't listen to you!) For showing you don't want her to be bouncing all over them anyway, use the stand for examination as an obedience exercise, so neutrality towards strangers (they're neither scary nor exciting) and they will touch you but don't worry about it, focus on me.

thanks. I hadn't started asking people to give her treats, I was just asking here if it was the right thing to do. I'm glad I asked, what you've said makes sense.

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I find it one of the best ways for nervous, shy, anxious and reactive dogs to change the way they think. Takes a little time but the results are long lasting because the dog has learned to use it's brain through the whole process and corrects it's own behavior

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A way I used to try and increase kenz's confidence around people she didn't know was I taught her to "say hi". What I'd actually taught her was to target and nose-touch people's knees or hands. But people thought she was so clever because she would go over and "say hi" when I asked her to!!! She also thinks it's a great game (because it earns her treats from me or the stranger). But for her it really just is a basic target training exercise! She is now much more willing to approach strangers of her own accord and is much more relaxed with strangers touching her - but I think this is also a product of age.

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I'm not sure how practical it would be where you are Kirislin but I found attending a obedience club really helped Sarah. There's lots of dogs and people around but most people are focused on their own dogs and the dogs are being taught to focus on their handlers rather than all the other people and dogs, I think this helped with the neutralizing that Nekhbet mentioned. When we first started she preferred to stay by my side but now she's confident enough to approach other people and dogs (on the lead of course). And to help things along a yellow bandana will tell other people that Neko needs a bit of space

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What Nekhbet says!!!! That's exactly what we do with shelter dogs who aren't keen on people, first people become neutral and nothing to worry about because their 'person' is there to take care of things, then people become a source of treats IF they choose to approach, if they choose not to they don't have to but hopefully by then they can cope with the occasional person who doesn't listen when you tell them she's worried of people, let her approach you please. You do have to be tough with people sometimes unfortunately.

ETA - eventually, once the pressure is off and they know they're free to avoid the situation if they want, they often realise that actually people are quite nice and fun to be around so don't be disheartened!

Edited by Simply Grand
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You may find she is just shy. Jolie used to be very outgoing, but as she matured she has become much more stand offish. If people give her space, she will come up to them and eventually let them pat her. If they go straight for the pat, she won't have a bar of them. Once she has met someone once or twice, she is their best friend. :)

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I have found that me treating a shy dog for approaching people (rather than the people giving treats) seemed to be more effective. I started with just an acknowledgement that they were there - look at the person, look back at me, treat. Puts the ball back in the dog's court if that makes sense but takes the pressure off.

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