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Goodbye And Happy Birthday Bonnie (st Bernard)


Röbot
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A birthday wish for my baby ♡

I remember the first time I layed my eyes on you and the day my life changed forever.

We rolled up to the house of Bob and Joan at Sylvenus kennels and Joan took us through and there we stood at the dining room table as Joan went to another room and in the distance she brought you out and gave your fur a little brush before bringing you out. From two beautiful parents, Sylvenus: From The Vault and Sylvenus: Men In Masks, you were one of 12 beautiful balls of fluff.

I remember when Joan put you into my arms. It was like everything lined up and all just fell into place. You placed your little head on my shoulder and sniffed my ear with your runny little nose. I remember telling I loved you right from that moment, and that I would love you forever. A promise I will never break!

I carried you around for nearly six months of your life because I was scared you'd hurt yourself or something might hurt you. I carried you until I could carry you no more.

You were my baby and everybody knew it. Everybody knew that you were always priority number one for us. You could look at me with those beautiful eyes and I could never be angry. You had such beautiful eyes.

We spent everyday of your life protecting you as parents do, and changed every aspect of our lives to make your life comfortable. Holidays were holidays if only you were with us because you were our baby and parents don't leave their babies at home to holiday alone.

I hated swimming but I loved it because I knew how much you loved it. It's where you were happiest. I still think if we let you go, you'd swim away and still be swimming somewhere out there.

You were my rock, and I hope that I was yours. You were always the first one I went to when I was down and I could forget about the rest of the world and there was nothing ever to worry about as long as you were by my side.

I was so proud of you, every second of every day. I will always be.

You were my little princess and even though you and I knew you were too big for me to carry I'd still let you jump up so I could lift you up if only for 10 seconds but you loved it and used to get so excited and you'd hug me so tight like you never wanted to let me go. I never wanted to let you go either.

One month and one day ago my left felt like it came complete halt.

When I found out I had to say goodbye to you, as I sat on the pavement and cried all I could think was, 'not my baby'.

All I could say was "not my baby"

But remember the last thing I said to you when we said goodbye?

I've never said anything so true in my life. I really meant it.

I'm sorry I couldn't make it all better, I'm sorry I couldn't take you to the beach one last time or lift you up and hug you for just another second.

I know I'll see you again and when I do I know it'll all be ok. I hope you're with Pop and Mack and Zeus because I know they'd look after you and shelter you and keep you safe. I know foe today they'd make you a cake and give you a candle and sing you happy birthday.

Happy 9th Birthday for tomorrow my beautiful princess Bonnie.

Mummy loves you.

I always have, I always will.

xxx

16/1/05 - 15/12/13

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Edited by Röbot
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Robot, what an amazing tribute for a first post. I am so sorry for your loss. I've never meet your baby and my heart is grieving with you. **hugs**

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I am so sorry for your terrible loss Robot, Bonnie was beautiful.

Try to be gentle with yourself during this initial grieving period, do whatever it is you need to- yell, scream, cry, whatever helps in some little way.

Keep posting here on DOL, we truely understand the depth of pain you are feeling, and people here will offer an avenue to talk about your feelings, and about the good (and bad) times with Bonnie and will never think you should "just get over it".

I found starting a "memory Book" to be helpful- the thing I was most scared of was forgetting my boy, but in the middle of the night he would send little memories to me that I had forgotten about, such bitter sweet memories that I now have recorded, and am grateful for.

Happy birthday Bonnie, enjoy your day playing with Tippy and all the others, and yeah "pupstars", eat as much cake as you like!!!

Di

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