Dear God :

[persephone]

via email, author unknown:

Dear God: Here is a list of

Just some of the things I must remember

To be a good Dog:

1... I will not eat the cat's food before he eats it or after he throws it up..

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish,

Possums, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3... The Litter Box is not a lolly jar.

4... The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5... The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6... I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's

Underwear when he's on the toilet.

7... Sticking my nose into someone's

Crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.

8... I don't need to suddenly stand

Straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

9... I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before

Entering the house - not after.

10.. I will not come in from outside,

And immediately drag my bum across the carpet.

11.. I will not sit in the middle of the living

Room, and lick my crotch..

12.. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy',

So when I play with him and he makes that noise,

it's usually not a good thing.

P...S. Dear God:

When I get to Heaven,

May I have my testicles back?

[Taliecat]

That's brilliant. I especially like the one about the cat

[hankdog]

I realize my dog is an atheist, he thoroughly enjoys all those things.

[Guest Wildthing]

Best part for me was wanting his testicles back lol Typical of any male of any species lol The rest I can understand and had a laugh - much needed!

[mixeduppup]

I just stepped in cat poo in the middle of the lounge room floor...

[Tibbie_tabbie]

My little girl dog only does number 11 when we have guests around........

[HazyWal]

:laugh: love it Perse thanks for sharing.