Inappropriate Breed Choice?

[Steph M]

Sensitive question here, but have you ever had a friend who just had a totally inappropriate breed in mind?

What do you do? I really foresee disaster here.

Bit of a backstory, my best friend whom I love dearly has decided she wants a dog.

A large puppy, specifically a visla or a weim. The boyfriend is set on an apartment having had (and given up entire to BYBers who wanted pups at 2 years old for no reason other than him getting out to get to the female over the back fence and being hard to manage in a courtyard by himself all day) a Dane wants another big dog. Righto.

She’s never had a dog, never grown up around dogs and quite frankly has no idea. She thought real breeders bred Spoodles etc and puppies are born with the innate need to wee on grass. She spends a lot of time with Gus and I and marvels at how easy it seems, without any knowledge of how much work we’ve put into even the most basic behaviours.

The boyfriend has his heart set on an apartment in the inner city, she’s trying to talk him round (rolly eye man!) and might be allowed a small house in the inner west, but likely another courtyard.

She’s fairly active but also incredibly busy, they’re out most nights and pup would be left home til late.

I’ll be the first to admit it does kinda give me the sh*ts. It’s a real cockiness she has on the subject that she could do it, how hard could it be? Everytime I mention the huge amounts of work we’ve put into our relatively low drive dog and how much exercise he needs and gives himself it’s pretty well shrugged off.

She met a 4 month old Visla pup and has decided that’s the breed for her. I’ve asked her to chat to some breeders and think really hard before committing and she just seems oblivious.

Part vent, but what do you do? I really really have doubts she knows what she’s getting into and I just see this poor dog being miserable or at very least at a real disadvantage.

There's just so many red flags, one or two is fair but there strikes me as so so many here, as I said, I love her dearly but I can't believe the ignorance.

Should I just bite my tongue and let her make her mistakes? Any sage words?

[Alkhe]

It's a tough one - but if it were me, I'd just categorically tell her exactly why you don't think it's a good idea. And then suggest some breeds that may be more appropriate. As long as you don't seem like you're just being negative and ruining her fun, and actually come up with some alternative solutions, people are more likely to respond better.

I'd say look, it may SEEM like a dog is a dog is a dog and they just need a walk and food and they'll be fine, it's just not true, adn it's a bloody long commitment if you're not ready for it.

Dogs aren't all the same thing, wearing different coloured suits - and Vizslas are bred to be athletic, energetic dogs.. blah blah. Tell her straight out it would be cruel to force a dog like that into a lifestyle that doesn't suit it, and it would be an irresponsible thing to do when there are plenty of older/lower drive/whatever dogs that would suit her lifestyle and circumstances much better. Also tell her what a living hell her life will be if she has a high energy young dog whose needs aren't met.. etc?

What about a greyhound? Or fostering? She could foster a Greyhound for a while as an introduction into dog ownership?

[Steph M]

She's just so stubborn and determined that she wants that sort of dog. I've asked what interests her and she says 'looks and size'. I might chat to her on the weekend and try your suggestions, I was thinking a Grey might suit. This has been playing on my mind for days.

I certainly don't want to ruin her fun, I just can't imagine she knows how much work and how much her life will change.

[Brandiandwe]

I have greys and I suspect they'd be miserable. I also doubt any adoption group for greys would work with her. Although they don't need so much exercise, they do need company any affection. Being locked in a courtyard or an apartment wouldn't work for any grey I know.

[Steph M]

I have greys and I suspect they'd be miserable. I also doubt any adoption group for greys would work with her. Although they don't need so much exercise, they do need company any affection. Being locked in a courtyard or an apartment wouldn't work for any grey I know.

It's a shitty situation for any dog, in my most humble opinion.

You make a good point. Thank you!

[Alkhe]

I have greys and I suspect they'd be miserable. I also doubt any adoption group for greys would work with her. Although they don't need so much exercise, they do need company any affection. Being locked in a courtyard or an apartment wouldn't work for any grey I know.

Ah, I just re-read the OP - I thought the boyfriend had a Dane too, not that he USED to have a Dane. So .. yeah, no company at all.. hmm. I can't think of ANY dog that this would work for, if there wasn't any real stimulation or care when the people were home either!

That said, sometimes people change and she may become the best dog owner in the world, and become totally obsessed wtih the dog.. who knows.. one can hope!

[Rebanne]

FFS why are greyhounds always suggested for these type of morons? They are still dogs, they would still like to toilet regularly and they certainly deserve to have owners that would put them first.

[Steph M]

I have greys and I suspect they'd be miserable. I also doubt any adoption group for greys would work with her. Although they don't need so much exercise, they do need company any affection. Being locked in a courtyard or an apartment wouldn't work for any grey I know.

Ah, I just re-read the OP - I thought the boyfriend had a Dane too, not that he USED to have a Dane. So .. yeah, no company at all.. hmm. I can't think of ANY dog that this would work for, if there wasn't any real stimulation or care when the people were home either!

That said, sometimes people change and she may become the best dog owner in the world, and become totally obsessed wtih the dog.. who knows.. one can hope!

I hope so, but even if that's the case it's a steep learning curve combined with a crummy situation I guess.

[Steph M]

FFS why are greyhounds always suggested for these type of morons? They are still dogs, they would still like to toilet regularly and they certainly deserve to have owners that would put them first.

My thinking was that while she would still have to make huge adjustments they're one of the more relatively low maintenance breeds and there's lots in need.

I'd really rather you not be so rude, I'm seeking advice on how best to manage a problem and after all she is still my friend.

[Alkhe]

FFS why are greyhounds always suggested for these type of morons? They are still dogs, they would still like to toilet regularly and they certainly deserve to have owners that would put them first.

I suggest Greyhounds as a good breed choice for someone who doesn't want or shouldn't have a high maintenance dog, or a dog that requires huge amounts of exercise. I love Greyhounds - I think they're brilliant and underappreciated, and often don't even come into people's minds as a possible breed option. Or, people think they need huge amounts of exercise.

[Alkhe]

Oh, and I suggested fostering a Greyhound because there are a huge numbers of Greyhound rescues, and if you foster for GAP it's just for 2 weeks at a time. A much smaller commitment than buying a puppy.

I fostered a Greyhound before getting my dog because I hadn't had a dog as an adult, and wasn't sure if I was able to make the commitment yet. At that point I didn't know you could foster other breeds or anything about fostering, really. And it was a great entry into dog ownership again.

If people find it hard to live with a foster dog, and meet its needs, it will hopefully turn them off adopting or buying a dog. It woudl potentially also help, having someone else to answer to about the dog's care (ie, the foster group).

[persephone]

..or does anyone with a V have time to speak with this girl of all that will be needed?

[Guest hankodie]

That's a hard one Steph M, if it were me I'd be completely honest and gently tell her that maybe considering other alternatives would be a good idea. Or maybe she could spend some time with you and your pups for the day and get an idea of how much work it is? (though if they are angels that wouldn't really work). I'd also maybe print out some information about the breed, what it was originally bred for, exercise needs, etc etc?

We took Hank with us to have lunch with a couple of friends and one of them (who is not a dog person in the slightest) commented on how lovely and placid Hank was and how she wanted a Hank of her own. I told her it takes a lot of work to get him that chilled out and he's by far the easiest dog I've ever had! I don't think she really got it though but ah well, I might be having a similar conversation sometime in the future

[Rebanne]

FFS why are greyhounds always suggested for these type of morons? They are still dogs, they would still like to toilet regularly and they certainly deserve to have owners that would put them first.

My thinking was that while she would still have to make huge adjustments they're one of the more relatively low maintenance breeds and there's lots in need.

I'd really rather you not be so rude, I'm seeking advice on how best to manage a problem and after all she is still my friend.

so there's a lot in need. Do they really need to go to someone who is never home? All dogs deserve good homes and 2nd best should never be considered. And I never quoted you directly, my words were aimed at all who said a greyhound would be a good choice.

Edited September 27, 2013 by Rebanne

[mixeduppup]

Tell her to get a cat

[Rebanne]

Tell her to get a cat

even cats like company.

[mixeduppup]

Tell her to get a cat

even cats like company.

Yes they do but they can cope without as much as a dog can. I know many cats that ignore their owners as long as they have food and water. My cat loves having me around but when I'm gone for 10 hours a day (rarely that long unless double shift but usually 5-6hrs) he copes way better than my dogs who constantly throw impromptu 'welcome home' parties.

[Poodle wrangler]

No breed of dog suited to her lifestyle

I'd ask her how long she's away from home each day & how unfair it would be on the dog.

You could emphasize the destruction caused by bored dogs, large poo from large dog etc.

[SchnauzerMax]

You might try talking about the costs of a large dog - the large amount of food they eat etc.

Also, just storing food and bedding etc. It's a lot easier (and cheaper) with a SWF or a cat!

[RuralPug]

Actually I would suggest a pair of compatible (desexed) rabbits if they MUST have a pet.

No dog is going to be happy without a decent amount of companionship, except one of those robot toy dogs. I suspect any cat would quickly decamp the minute the opportunity presented itself.

Rabbits are quite happy to mostly sleep during the day, and interact morning and evening which does make them rather good pets for working couples who are not at home all that much.