When Circumstances Change.

[Ranger00]

Hello everyone

My boy will be coming home in just over 2 weeks time. I have taken almost 5 weeks off work to be there to settle him in, get him into a routine, commence toilet training etc, but after that I do have to return to work. I work fulltime and have a lengthy commute to/from work, so will be gone all day from 6am.

This was not to be an issue, as my partner works mostly on the road during the day, and had also booked some leave overlapping mine. That way pup would get a solid 6 weeks with us, and during this time we would gradually reduce the amount of time spent with us in order to get him used to being on his own. Then, when we both returned to work, my partner would still be able to come home during the day to spend some time with him, let him out to go to the toilet etc (have decided to keep him inside, initially, due to security worries and a recent increase in crime in my area - he will have run of the house except the bedrooms).

However now my circumstances have changed as my partner and I have split up and he has moved out... leaving me to wonder what the best way to combat pup being alone all day is. I've already got him lots of toys including interactive ones such as kongs etc, and he will have his feline friend around for company, but he will still only be 13 weeks now when I return to work, and I am worried this is much too young to be alone for so long. I will probably pop him into doggy daycare one day a week (probably a Wednesday, to break the week up for him) but not until he's a little older.

Not getting him is simply not an option. I will do whatever it takes to make this work, because I know it can, I'm just not 100% HOW.

I am already job searching for a job closer to home, and with better hours, hopefully this comes to fruition before this even becomes a problem, but I'm being realistic that this simply may not happen in time. And if it doesn't, what can/should I do to ensure pup and I are both happy? I've even considered reducing my hours at my current job by an hour a day, but that significantly reduces my income and I doubt I could sustain my mortgage and other expenses if I were to do this. I work too far away from where I live to make it home and back during my lunch hour, otherwise I would do this. Bringing him to work is absolutely out of the question.

I have a park a couple houses down, so physical exercise is not going to be a problem, and when old enough I would like to get him started in dog sports such as either agility or tracking, but I know these things won't mean much while he's home waiting for his mum for 5 days a week.

Any suggestions would be appreciated, especially from those who have been in the same/similar situations.

Thanks

[minimax]

Staying home for 5 weeks to get him into a routine isn't very practical if that's not your routine? Why would you get him into a routine and then change it, why not start in the routine he will be in from the start?

[Steph M]

I think OP might have been counting on her OH being home and that's since changed, these things happen.

I have no real advice, tbh we went totally against the rules. I took a few weeks off, Brooke is home all the time and now he goes out for a day and the dog is left home and is fine and happy. Oops. Haha.

Best bet would be make sure he learns to entertain himself, put him out for a few hours a day with toys and bones and things to do, try make sure he isn't with you 24/7. That could become problematic!

Edited September 26, 2013 by Steph M

[Steph M]

Just to add, congrats. Such a rubbish time. I'm sure pup will be a lovely comfort!

[persephone]

Sorry about the split

i go by the maxim ..start as you mean to go on . if you are away all day from the beginning ... then pup will get used to that . IMO.. being with him for 5 weeks then being away will possibly be very upsetting for him.

a puppy also should have one room, or a large pen to be in alone ... or a backyard ... leaving a young man alone in the house ...welll.. puppies will find things to chew/places to pee / things to break

Pup can be fed early AM ... have food left in a treatball or kong , fed on your reurn, then again late pm. 'housetraining' in this case , will be mostly getting pup to use an indoor toilet ...so if he is in a pen with a toilet area , he should learn easily :)

[LisaCC]

Sorry about the split

I agree with what Perse has said.

I had two weeks holiday when I bought my pup home, and from day one we started leaving him alone for short periods and extending it, by the time the two weeks were up, he was by himself most of the day, except I had the option of coming home for lunch and having a quick play.

I always stick to this routine, even when I am at home and not at work/ uni he stays outside at the times I would normally be away.

Puppies are resilient little things and I think he should cope fine if you just make it a routine from the get go

[Loving my Oldies]

Staying home for 5 weeks to get him into a routine isn't very practical if that's not your routine? Why would you get him into a routine and then change it, why not start in the routine he will be in from the start?

I have to agree with this. If you don't have to take the 5 weeks off, I'd be inclined to cut it down to a maximum of two and do as you previously intended, go out for a few hours at a time at irregular times and intervals.

I hope the split was not too painful, but I am sure pup will be a big comfort. Pups are not interested in splitting - they will love you whether or not you put the garbage out.

[Ranger00]

Thanks for your replies.

Just to acknowledge/answer the questions that were asked re why I've taken leave when this won't be pups usual routine:

I took the time off not just for pup, the timing just worked out that way. Without going into a huge backstory, I work in an emotionally stressful job dealing with people who are suffering mental illness, addiction, financial hardship etc, and after having a couple of months off recently after being involved in an accident - I was knocked off my bike by a 4WD and sustained a number of injuries - I have found it extremely difficult to cope with coming back to the job, and with the long commute on top of that, it's just gotten too much and has severely started to affect my own mental wellbeing. This is another reason I am looking for another job (I had already starting looking before my partner and I split), and I also wanted to use all my leave in the case that I was offered a job that couldn't allow me my required 4 week notice period. I am that desperate to get out of the job that if there was no loss of owed leave by giving a shorter notice than needed, then I would go ahead and deal with the other repercussions of not serving the required notice. I also had the full amount accrued and was told I needed to take leave.

On top of those recent events, it's my birthday today and my ex came over last night with what I'm sure were good intentions, but only hurt and upset me even more. So I'm feeling particularly sensitive and upset today, stuck at work trying not to bawl my eyes out! So apologies if I come across as a bit of a mess, I am one right now, lol.

I will make sure I start introducing him to being alone from day one, and only "formally" exercise him early morning and at night, which will be his usual times when I return to work. Routine was probably the wrong word, I more so meant I wanted to use the time to get his training downpat, house trained, socialised with the cat etc.

I'm not going to lie, I will probably need this pups companionship more than ever before now given the circumstances, but I will be as vigilent as possible to ensure I do the right thing by him, and not let my own needs right now cause problems for him for the next 15 years.

[aliwake]

I agree with the others re amount of time off work, and also about not letting a pup that young have the run of the house! Unless you don't like ANY of your furniture, and have hard floors everywhere. You're also making a big assumption about the pup and cat getting along...

We originally had our pup in a playpen during the day when we were at work, but he absolutely hated it, and was never very happy (we had a webcam to check on him). He was reluctant to settle, and was always trying to break out. I don't think he was getting anywhere near enough sleep!

Now he's bigger, he's outside all day, and so much happier! I still wouldn't have put him outside in the beginning, but I wish we'd done it sooner than we did.

I know you have concerns about outside, but don't dismiss it altogether. We have locks on both gates, and there is minimal visibility into the yard from the street, and these things make me more confident to leave him out there. I also have great neighbours on both sides who will talk to him if he's being a ratbag, so he does have occasional human contact during the day :)

I'm really sorry you're in such a crappy situation Your pup is going to be such a happy influence for you though! But, I really think pups tend to pick up on your concerns and magnify them, so you need to come up with a scenario you're happy and confident with, and stick to it.

ETA, sorry, was writing this while you posted about why you're taking leave etc. It all makes a lot of sense, however it is going to be a huge challenge not to play with your gorgeous pup all day if you're at home! I'd try to plan a few activities for yourself that take you completely out of the house sometimes, while you're having your break. Fingers crossed you can find a better job closer to home in the meantime though - sounds like you deserve a break!

Edited September 26, 2013 by aliwake

[Dame Aussie]

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time of it a puppy always makes these things better though :D

Both our dogs were left alone for the whole day right from the start as babies. The only issue for us was toilet training but even though we were out all day we never had too many accidents.

I would leave pup in a secured area where he can't wreck anything valuable or hurt himself. You could use pee pads or just newspaper to teach him to go to a certain area to toilet.

What breed is he?

[BlackJaq]

I agree about not giving puppy access to all of the house when you are out and definitely give the cat a chance to escape and be out of puppy's reach if he or she wants to. Depending on the cat and their age, he or she my not be particularly impressed with the new puppy sibling either, so I would not leave them unsupervised for a while to begin with. Puppies can easily loose an eye in a confrontation with a cat.

If you want the puppy to stay inside I would suggest a baby gate or similar and maybe for easy cleaning confine the puppy to the laundry, bathroom or kitchen. Offering some kind of toileting opportunity inside will be important since the puppy will not be able to hold on all day while you re at work. I think some people have had good experiences with fake lawn over pee pads or newspaper to make the transition between going inside and going outside easier later-on.

Young puppies sleep A LOT so I would not be that concerned over leaving him alone for several hours each day and I would particularly recommend that you do this from the time he comes now, not only after your time off is finished.

I would not "exercise" a baby puppy as such, but rather have some play time before you leave and also take him out to toilet after the play session is finished and before you leave. When you get home, I would again take puppy out to toilet as he will likely be woken from a nap by your return.

Personally I would also prefer having puppy spend the day outside but if you are genuinely concerned for him then I think inside either confined to a room or puppy play pen would be fine, though outside would certainly make toilet training easier.

[Ranger00]

Aussi3, it's a border collie. Not the ideal breed for this situation, hence why I really want to make sure I do as much as I possibly can to get things right.

The house is open plan, so it's all tiled except the bedrooms, which will be baby-gated to allow the cat to escape (he has his own bedroom as well as taking over mine!) and keep pup off my bed and carpets. I definitely, definitely wouldn't leave pup & puss together unsupervised until I'm confidence no one will get hurt. The cat grew up with "his" border collie, so I think while he might get a bit of a shock at a smaller, bouncier one, I'm confident I can have them getting alone within a couple of weeks. Of course I know there's no guarantees though.

I did consider a pen but thought this might be too small, and I thought it would be nicer for pup to have free run on the tiles, but you're right, I don't want to come home to my leather couches and leather dining set ripped to pieces, LOL. It's been a long time since I had a puppy, so I'd forgotten about the destruction they can cause! Anyone know where to get a relatively large puppy pen?

I'll give the fake lawn over pee pads a go - this is my first male dog and we got my last girl in a totally different house and different circumstances, where toileting was never done inside, so it'll be new to me, too! It's just a shame I can't have a dog door (inside only cat) like I had previously, as this would solve a lot of things, but we do the best with what we've got, so that's what I'll do!

[aliwake]

This is the toilet we used:

http://www.topbuy.com.au/tbcart/pc/Extra-Large-Pet-Indoor-Dog-Potty-Training-Toilet-Loo-Pad-3-Tier-76x51cm-p187234.htm

It was a pain in the butt to clean, but worked well. He always did #2 there without training, but still wee'd elsewhere on occasion. You could probably put kitty litter in the tray underneath, which might make it a bit easier to manage (hindsight is great!)

I think this was the playpen we bought:

http://www.dealsdirect.com.au/8-panels-pet-exercise-playpen-1/

It was good, but was difficult to anchor inside. we had it secured to laundry cabinets on every side in the end, to stop him from dragging it around.

[aliwake]

just saw these baby gates when I was looking for that playpen:

http://www.dealsdirect.com.au/safety-gate-extra-tall-71-82cm-black/

seems a very good price for one with the extra height! You'll probably need it if your pup's a jumper :)

[trinabean]

Ranger00, another option could be to put access to a tiled room like your laundry by using a sliding door dog door insert. You could then block off access to the rest of your house with a baby gate. That way you could set up the laundry with bedding/ crate and toys for shelter, but your pup has access to the yard to toilet and spend time outdoors during the day.

It does depend on the floor plan of your house though. And your yard would need to be secure and puppy proofed. We have a Patiolink sliding door dog door insert but there are other companies that make them too. Glass sliding doors are common in WA houses, so I thought it might be an option.

Sorry about the breakup and dramas you've had.

[YvonneM]

Firstly, sorry to hear about your situation - sounds to me like you really need to have something positive right now, and puppy could be the antidote you need!

We were only home for one week with our pup before we had to go back to work ..... so pup was alone from about 7.30am until 4pm each day. Initially we had him in a pen, but he really hated it. Like you, we have an open plan house, but I was able to block off the large lounge/dining/kitchen/family/hallway areas so that the only place he didn't have access to was the bedrooms - and I made sure they were safe so far as electrical cords etc were concerned .... we actually had a LOT of blocking off of smaller spaces to do, because he is a Maltese, and came home to us at only 800g and not much taller than our ankles!! I also had a doggy dog, which was an advantage - it's a shame you can't have one. I had a large metal puppy pen that I put around the outdoor section of the doggy door so pup could go in and out as he pleased but could not be seen from the street (I was worried about theft etc). This worked really well for our pup and as he got older/bigger he had more and more freedom in the backyard. He now has full free range of the entire house/yard all day and night.

I think you need to start off how you want things to continue - our boy was left alone for long periods from almost day 1, so he is accustomed to being alone and amusing himself ..... I come home to find the entire contents of his toy box strewn all over the floors, in all rooms, but that's ok, as long as he leaves my furniture alone .... I also think that puppies spend a lot of the day sleeping anyway. Being left alone and no fuss being made of him when we came home or when we left means that he has taken it all in his stride, and we've never had any anxiety issues with him. He's 7 months old now.

Good luck with however you decide to go .... I am sure he will bring you much happiness :)

[Justrace]

Is there anyone near you that can call in and play with the puppy through the day? Or another friend with a similar ages pup that he could play with.

My last dog I got when I lived by myself, worked full time and had a competition horse in full work. My step dad just happened to be on holidays for 4 weeks, so would go over at lunchtime, play with & feed her lunch. I'd call past and pick her up about 4.30 and take her to the paddock with me, whilst I was riding the horse she'd be in the stable and then we'd have a play after that. Once my step dad went back to work, my friend would drop her pup over about 6am and they would be alone together until she picked her dog up around 3pm. This worked really well and we only stopped doing it after they were about 7 months old. Yes my backyard was a mess but they actually got up to more trouble when they were alone LOL

Sorry to hear about the break up, I'm sure your pup will be a great distraction

Edited September 26, 2013 by Justrace

[Pippin13]

I am in a similar situation (not with the break up sorry to hear about that), but I work 9-5 and have an hours commute each way. I am taking one week off to help settle puppy getting over initial anxiety of being in a new place and then will be gradually leaving puppy alone for longer and longer each day (which I'm sure will be harder on me than the puppy) til i go back to work.

I am going to use one of the indoor fake grass trays and keep puppy to just one room during the day and then take outside before work after work and before bed. good luck with your training.