Could You Be Your Dog's 'heart Person'?

[minimax]

The way to my girls heart is through her stomach, so she loves whoever feeds her :laugh:

Boston gravitates towards whoever has a free hand to give him ear rubs or cuddles or anyone who's face is low enough for him to lick. Neither of them seem to have a 'favourite' out of my OH and me, but they sort of have different things that they prefer each of us for.

Max will go to my OH if she's feeling sick and is going to puke, and will wake her up during the night if she needs to pee (although that came about because I never wake up, even with a pug stomping on my head :laugh: ). Boston will have cuddles in front of the TV with OH every night, then wakes up and come to bed with me. But he's never slept in her bed, ever. He has tried once or twice when I was restless, but he always came back in to me within an hour, which I think is really sweet :)

[Little Gifts]

Actually that's a good point Megan. That is one thing I don't have to worry about here given my sister and I share dog caring duties and it really is a load off my mind to be able to be away for periods of time without coming home to a forlorn dog. I'd like to think I was missed but

[trinabean]

My dogs and I like to hang together, call it what you will but we have fun :)

Likewise OSoSwift. :)

I am the person that Bruno seeks out in the morning (no doubt for food and walks). :laugh: That said, he loves snuggling up with the kids when they read or watch tv.

[Loving my Oldies]

End of story.

Really?

Get over it and stop picking a fight.

So asking for where the scientific data is and wanting to clarify a point is picking a fight?

Frankly, I find quite laughable (in a sad sort of way) the statements that some people make and most of the time couldn't care less. But when they profess to have it on scientific evidence and then can't produce that evidence, well sure you have to wonder?

And when they say dogs are incapable of love and then say "Boof loves....."

But, if that is picking a fight, well so be it.

[minimax]

End of story.

Really?

Get over it and stop picking a fight.

So asking for where the scientific data is and wanting to clarify a point is picking a fight?

Frankly, I find quite laughable (in a sad sort of way) the statements that some people make and most of the time couldn't care less. But when they profess to have it on scientific evidence and then can't produce that evidence, well sure you have to wonder?

And when they say dogs are incapable of love and then say "Boof loves....."

But, if that is picking a fight, well so be it.

If you're so interested I'm sure you can find it yourself Http://scholar.google.com

good luck.

Edited August 7, 2013 by minimax

[OSoSwift]

I fed and walked a dog for near on 15 years and one word from his master and I was blown off! He liked me enough but I still was not as important as my OH was.

[Bjelkier]

Not interested in the drama, but I think most dogs would warm to someone - anyone - who feeds them for 15 years +, walks them every day , trains them, and provides them with the necessities of life. I love my dogs and we have a great relationship, but they'd be just as happy living with mr & mrs cosmolo. I'm glad about that as it shows they have coping skills and they wouldn't fall apart if I wasn't around (they'd pine for a while, but them they'd move on ),

No matter what my OH does he can't get my Wolf to pay any attention to him. If I'm around Mr Bjelkier doesn't exist. Same goes for my Havanese.

[huski]

I am 110% confident that my dogs love me, choose to be with me and show more affection to me over any one else because I give them access to the things they really want. My youngest dog's biggest motivator is prey drive, if I didn't give her an opportunity to bite things, I am positive she wouldn't display affection to me like she does now. Similarly my beagle loves food, and until I learned how to give her what she needed she was rarely affectionate with me. She's still not overly pack driven but much more attached to me and cuddly.

Some dogs are more pack driven than others and will become more dependent on certain pack members over others.

However despite knowing all of the above I still choose to believe my puppies love me and their "devotion" to me makes me feel special :D

[Loving my Oldies]

Not interested in the drama, but I think most dogs would warm to someone - anyone - who feeds them for 15 years +, walks them every day , trains them, and provides them with the necessities of life. I love my dogs and we have a great relationship, but they'd be just as happy living with mr & mrs cosmolo. I'm glad about that as it shows they have coping skills and they wouldn't fall apart if I wasn't around (they'd pine for a while, but them they'd move on ).

I believe the same about my dogs. I have always said that provided they were given the same love and attention they get from me they would be happy. But that doesn't mean they don't feel love or are incapable of feeling it. Sure, they don't lie down at night with a big sigh and think, "Gee I love my mummy," because they "speak" dog not English or whatever the language of the person is. Their love (and lots of other emotions .... virtually all you could think of) is expressed in ways other than words and often, I think, so much better than humans do.

However despite knowing all of the above I still choose to believe my puppies love me and their "devotion" to me makes me feel special :D

And that is the way it should be :laugh:

[corvus]

Whether dogs can feel love in the same way humans do has not specifically been investigated, but what do people even mean by that? What is assumed is that dogs (like other mammals including humans) do form a deep attachment between mother and young. In dogs, this attachment seems to readily transfer to a human caregiver and strongly resembles that between a mother and young for the life of the dog, which is unsurprising given dogs are a neotenous species. A study was just recently published in PLoS ONE about the secure base effect in dogs, which suggests their bond with us is like the bond a human child has with their mother. However, there have been suggestions that similar bonds can form between horses and humans, and there are social bonds formed between animals in the same social group as well. I know there is research going on at the moment to investigate whether sheep have best friends. The expectation is they probably do. If anyone wants to chase down the scientific evidence for what emotions mammals can experience they should check out Jaak Panksepp. He knows more about this than anyone else in the world and has written extensively on it.

Lastly, it is reasonable to assume that different dogs form different types of attachment, just like children and their parents form different kinds of attachment. My current two boys are pretty easy and readily go with other people. They have human friends they greet with almost the same enthusiasm they greet us with. They have no problems staying with other people when we go on holidays. My previous dog was prone to fretting and sulking when I left her, which distressed me. It was not nice to know she was missing me. It was sad to know she was distressed when I wasn't around. She would get over it and had other people she was happy to stay with, but she always seemed very needy when I returned. She was a one person dog. I found it a lot of pressure to live with, actually.

[~Anne~]

I am 110% confident that my dogs love me, choose to be with me and show more affection to me over any one else because I give them access to the things they really want. My youngest dog's biggest motivator is prey drive, if I didn't give her an opportunity to bite things, I am positive she wouldn't display affection to me like she does now. Similarly my beagle loves food, and until I learned how to give her what she needed she was rarely affectionate with me. She's still not overly pack driven but much more attached to me and cuddly.

Yes, this is what I was referring to earlier. I meet their needs so they chose me as their leader and one they want to be close to. They've definitely formed a bond with me.

Interestingly in our house it is changing. My husband is currently the main caregiver and I've noticed a change in their responses to both of us. Boof though still prefers me more so as I am the one that will pet him and show him constant attention when he seeks it. Olivia, for reasons unknown to me, still seeks out my husband but mainly when he is missing. If he is in the same room as me she'll be nearest to me and asking me to play. If he is not home she will often go to the front door am wait for him.

Olivia has a few strange actions that I don't understand. She often sits on the other side of a barrier, for example the coffee table, and just watches all of us. At other times she sits in the hall looking down on the rest of us in the living area. The hall is a few steps higher and is usually unlit at these times. She's a strange little dog sometimes.

Edited August 7, 2013 by ~Anne~

[Little Gifts]

Some dogs are more pack driven than others and will become more dependent on certain pack members over others.

I think this is more what we are experiencing with Tempeh because she is never more content than when all her human and canine family are home. Maybe it was because of the age she came here that she developed this or maybe there was space or a place for her in our pack that she felt comfortable to fill?

[GSDowner]

In our case the theory that a dog gets attached to his/her carer does not stand.

My german shepherd is fed by me, brushed (and he loves being brushed), taken for a walk,

petted and spoken gentle to. The dog is love of my life;

My husband hasn't got much patience with him (although loves him to death);

yet the dog is always by his side; comes to me for a treat and goes back to the man.

[Trisven13]

Yes and no. I believe love is an emotion that requires higher order thinking. No, I don't believe they're being pragmatic and self serving as again, I believe both of these require higher order thinking.

I believe dogs form attachments.

I believe dogs form bonds.

I believe dogs can show signs of depression in a clinical sense over the loss of something or someone they formed a bond with.

But do they 'love'? No, I don't think they do. I don't think dogs look at one human over another and think 'Oh my, my heart human. How I love thee.'

I'm sure my dogs gravitate toward me for several reasons, none of which are attributable to 'love'. I'm the main caregiver and the one most likely to play with them, feed them and tend to their needs. I'm the strong leader in the house.

I do think it curious that Olivia shows a preference for males but I believe that is something that was formed in her earlier years or a preference for some other reason. Who knows. I am far from an animal behaviour expert.

I live in a multi-pack household where my husband does MOST of the feeding and we share everything else. There are some dogs who love him most, there are some who don't really care as long as it is a human BUT Marie is different. Marie loves me over everyone and everything else - I don't do anything more special with her than I do with any of the others, in fact recently it has been less, but if she could choose one person to be with it is me. Ace loves me like Marie does but that is because I"ve been working really hard at building a bond with him as he was imported so it makes sense to me. Marie's doesn't fit that mould at all.

I fed and walked a dog for near on 15 years and one word from his master and I was blown off! He liked me enough but I still was not as important as my OH was.

Yep - that is Marie.

[GSDowner]

Well, dogs show affection, so they are able to love.

[Boxbright]

My older dogs grew up with my two daughters now 18 and 21, my girl is 8yrs and has always been cuddly but always slept on her bed in the living room, our boy 9yrs always came and slept next to me. When we had our son 3 yrs ago my girl used to sneak into his room and sleep next to his cot. Now she sneaks into his room and climbs onto his bed of a night. When we walk her we have to use a halti due to pulling, however if my son walks her she is just on a collar and lead and doesn't pull, she isn't even interested in other dogs, cats or birds whilst walking with him. I fully believe she has a higher order of thinking and has claimed him as her heart person.

[moosmum]

I am convinced that dogs can love,and you can be a dogs heart person and I doubt very much that anyone could convince me any different.

I don't think all dogs do love, or have this ( at least not in the way I have seen demonstrated ) but I have had several and known of many others where nothing else explains it to my satisfaction. Bonds,affection,high reward etc come into it,but realy if your going to be pendantic these things could just as easily explain human to human love.

How do you define love?

Edited to add: the very best dogs I have had, and will always seek out or try to accomodate if they find me, will be those who love and try so hard never to disapoint.If a higher order of thinking is needed, maybe these dogs just have that. They have been the easiest and most reliable of dogs.

Am I rewarding that behaviour? Of course!

Edited August 12, 2013 by moosmum

[Little Gifts]

I've been staying out with Ams the last couple of nights. Last night I was there on my own and one of her own pei and a blind rescue pei that she has had there for maybe 2 months both really felt her absence. I fed and cared for Blind Ronnie as he needed so it wasn't anything to do with his disability but instead of lying under her doona in his little corner of the bed he lay right in front of her screen door for most of the night waiting for her to come home. Then when he did get on to her bed he lay with his face staring at the bedroom doorway, still waiting. Nothing I did could really settle him as he usually would. When she came home this morning and he smelt her and heard her voice it was so sweet to see his little body wriggling with joy!

Whatever emotion he experiences with her it is really about her and not having his basic needs met or her compensating for his disability. Perhaps there could be someone else out there that he will also feel like this about but he has formed this bond/connection quite quickly and under difficult circumstances so it was beautiful to see him so happy to be with her again this morning! It's nice to be a nobody to a dog under those circumstances!