Leah82 Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Ok peeps, I need some help. My puppy farm rescue dog who I've had for over a month is scared of my fiance. I initially thought this would get better with time but it doesn't seem to be improving at all. She'll cower and walk away whenever he comes too close, which includes getting off her bed if he walks by. If our Cocker is getting cuddles from my fiance she comes closer to give Rick a quick lick before running away again. She's better in open spaces like the park but can still be pretty skittish. I don't know why she's like that towards him, initially we thought it might be all men but she's been fine with other men that we've introduced to her including both our dads. He's tried giving her treats and cuddles but it doesn't seem to change her overall reaction to him. He's also tried just ignoring her altogether to take the pressure off but still no change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gertrude139 Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 GIve it a bit longer, I have a foster at the moment like this who won't come near my sisters partner still and she's been with us for many months now. She warms to different people at different rates. Took her around 2 months to get used to my OH but is taking much longer with my sisters partner for some reason. If he keeps ignoring her she should get more comfortable with him slowly. That's my opinion anyway, based on other puppy farm type dogs that I've dealt with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RuralPug Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 I agree give her more time plus try to work out precisely what behaviour is triggering her anxiety. For instance, if she comes up close, then panics when he makes eye contact with her, get him to avoid that. Or if it is his hand moving to pat her, avoid that. Maybe he moves too swiftly for her, it could be a whole heap of things (including facial hair or hats ). If you watch her carefully enough you will see what is the trigger and can advise him to back off on that. She will then feel more reassured and will gradually become more accepting. Puppy farm dogs need a lot of extra time and patience due to their lack of socialisation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WreckitWhippet Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 He needs to ignore her for the most part and take her for walks on leash. The more he tried to talk and pat, the less likely she is to come around. You might have to put the leash on and hand her over for walks. There's no point trying to win a dog over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OSoSwift Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 He needs to ignore her for the most part and take her for walks on leash. The more he tried to talk and pat, the less likely she is to come around. You might have to put the leash on and hand her over for walks. There's no point trying to win a dog over. YEs I agree iwth this and it is what I would recommend. And lots of time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loving my Oldies Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Poor little thing ... For,her past. But happily she has found you. Without having the experience the other posters have, from the little I have I have to agree that a month isn't much time. It took Tamar (one of my many adoptees from pounds) six weeks to approach me voluntarily and to put her paws on my knee!! A red letter day, that was. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mixeduppup Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 I got a little terrier mix out of the pound who was terrified of everyone but me, it's been 7 months and he now comes up to lick my mum and lets her pat him for a few seconds. It can take ages. We were advised by the behaviourist to just take it slow and it's working. Maybe get a good behaviourist for your girl too just to have a better look at the situation from a neutral point of view. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mummamia Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 I agree totally that one month is such a short time for a rescue dog... One of my rescues is still making progress after 15 months... From freezing whenever she was touched... It took about a year for her to physically respond to patting and hugging... She would allow it but didn't show she liked it... She is finally pressing against me asking for more... So many other wonderful new behaviours I could share... Rescue dogs who have come from such horrific beginnings take different amounts of time to be comfortable in a world now filled with love... It's just so new to them... I just kept telling her 'It's all good stuff from now... You are home'. Enjoy the journey with your dog it will be wonderful... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marion 01 Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 (edited) Hi Leah82, it may take a lot longer than 2 months for her to come around, it depends what sort of treatment she has had from a male person. I have an 11yr old TT here who took 12 months to let my husband touch her, and even now she can be a bit funny if she gets a fright and he is near her, she blames him. We think that one of the male persons who was looking after her when she was in the breeders kennel from the time she was born until she was 7 months when we got her, must have done something to make her distrust men so badly. Let her come around gradually, like the quick licks you were talking about her giving Rick, that is a good start, she is trying to learn to trust him, just talk to her and include her in any play or conversation, given time she will respond, but it does take time and patience. Tell Rick not to give up on her , it will happen. Edited July 4, 2013 by Marion 01 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rubiton Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Is he feeding her, as mentioned walking her, even cleaning up the backyard with the shovel and the dog can just watch what he is doing (as he ignores her). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leah82 Posted July 4, 2013 Author Share Posted July 4, 2013 Thanks for the suggestions guys, I just know my finance is taking it a bit personally because she'll jump up on me for pats and cuddles and she wags her tail when I walk up to her and he doesn't get any of that. Will keep working at it. :) Also I'm wondering if our Cocker has anything to do with it, he's my fiance's dog and being a cocker spaniel is extremely attached to him, could he have possibly claimed my finance as his human and is telling Sarah to back off? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RuralPug Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 Thanks for the suggestions guys, I just know my finance is taking it a bit personally because she'll jump up on me for pats and cuddles and she wags her tail when I walk up to her and he doesn't get any of that. Will keep working at it. :) Also I'm wondering if our Cocker has anything to do with it, he's my fiance's dog and being a cocker spaniel is extremely attached to him, could he have possibly claimed my finance as his human and is telling Sarah to back off? It's possible, but you would have seen him actively resource guarding (growling if she approaches your bf, placing his body in between the new dog and your bf etc) if that's the case. More likely your bf (through no fault of his own) reminds her of something unhappy that happened to her. Time and patience and associating him with good things will overcome that. Poor soul for taking it personally - that in itself could be sending bad vibes to the dog. Tell him to relax a bit about it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skip Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 (edited) If your new dog was happy to see your partner if the cocker wasn't around you could think that but more likely the dog is just unsure. Time ,patience and no fuss will win althou the partner feeding and walking is good idea. A dog resource guarding isn't always that obvious. My chi rules the kelpies and the young kelpie loves her but the chi calls the shots. Sometimes the kelpie isn't around and doesn't come up the hallway to a bedroom. If I notice I look under the bed and remove the chi from under the bed where she would have been sitting and glaring at the kelpie. There is often no sound and very little obvious effort on the chi's part because the kelpie is so sensitive a look will send her away. So nice when dogs find loving homes. Edited July 5, 2013 by skip Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alkhe Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 (edited) As others have said, just give her time :) She will come around in her own time, and sometimes trying to force it can just make things worse. I would also make sure that your fiance does all the good and fun things in the house - get him to feed her, walk her, etc. Get him to feed her lovely treats like cheese, ham, sausage etc.. just hold his hand out and let her take them and run away. She'll eventually become more settled and happy around him. In hindsight, I think it took our Toy Poodle over a year to truly settle in. She came to us at the age of 3, and it's only now that I look back and think yeah, the first year or so she was really not herself, in the way that we know her now. You'll get there :) Edited July 6, 2013 by Alkhe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BC Crazy Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 (edited) Time is whats needed & space. I rescued a Border Collie at 16 months of age & had him till he was 14.5. Gorgeous boy he was. He had been serverely abused by a male I think as he took to me straight away. I could do anything with him. Never ever growled/snapped. He was a terrified boy around men. He would run & hide if a male tried to approach him. If a male had a flanelette shirt on or riding boots on he would go off his brain, teeth bared etc. When I introduced him to my now husband he was very cauious. Took him a very long time before he could pat him. He just more or less ignored Red & let him approach him. Talked softly to him & kept calm. Red warmed to him eventually, though he always had issues with most men all his life. So just give your newby time IMHO. Who knows what horrors they have been though so you can't hold it against them nor take it personally really. Good luck with your new family member :) Edited July 6, 2013 by BC Crazy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leah82 Posted July 6, 2013 Author Share Posted July 6, 2013 well from what you guys have said it's doubtful that Collie is resource guarding, i was wondering if it could be very subtle but to be fair he's not all that smart :p mostly he just tries to get himself between you and Sarah because being a cocker he's always desperate for attention, and being almost twice the size as Sarah he can be a bit of a boof head about it We shall continue to wait patiently, in the meantime I get Sarah cuddles all to myself :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BC Crazy Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 Enjoy :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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