When Are You Too Sick To Have Dogs?

[puddles]

Curious on people's opinions of this.

My neighbor has rather bad health issues, pacemaker, breathing problems etc, and she is only about 35. She has a Tibetan spaniel who has totally no manners and a 6 month old lab who is a ball of destruction! She cannot walk them as she gets too out of breath so easily. They spend all the time with her, and I can see some separation anxiety developing in the lab.

She had to go to hospital the other day, the little dog was running the street, as it always gets out. We live in a street where there are stray dogs everywhere, mainly of the pigging variety, coz that what the local past time is.

Anyways, she asked me to feed them, I barely have time for my own. I schedule my life around my own, in that I take them out to feed the horses, and take them out where I can if i have things to do. I don't have time to look after someone else's dogs, as I also work full time.

I can understand that she likes them for company, but her hospital visits are very frequent and she has no family here. While I do as much as I can, I can't always do it all for her. Clearly she has taken on more than she can chew.... It just annoys me because ultimately, it's the dogs who are going to suffer. Why take on such a responsibility if you cannot handle it?!

[KJJ]

the first thoughts I have are sympathy for the woman in question, you mention she has no family there which with her health issues at a young age sounds like she is doing it tough

That said whilst dogs can be the best medicine in some circumstances, it does rather sound as though she is sharing her life with the wrong dogs for her circumstances (particularly the young lab!) I think older dogs of a more sedate 'rug' type breed would be better suited. It sounds as though you feel obligated to help out and are starting to feel a bit resentful? There is nothing wrong with feeling that way (if indeed you are) as you did not choose to put yourself in the situation (other than being approached to help out with the feeding etc) are there any charities or rescue volunteers in your area which could help her out?

[Trisven13]

Whilst it sounds like she has bitten off more than she can chew I can completely understand her desire to have a warm, attention providing presence in her life if she has no family and serious ill-health. I hope that she is able to find someone who can assist her as I would imagine that her dogs are probably the only things that give her pleasure.

Nothing wrong with you not wanting to be the one to provide that assistance though.

Edited June 13, 2013 by Trisven13

[puddles]

Hi KJJ,

I do agree, I feel for her and try to do as much as I can. Come hell or high water, She wanted a lab to train as an assistance dog. so, i went to the trouble of finding a reputable breeder that had has dogs go onto be assistance dogs, he, however, didn't have any pups,which meant she would have had to wait. Se didnt want to wait however, So she got one off a breeder, a breeder who was quick to give her a pup without asking all the questions.

It's just hard as we Iive a small town and those help organizations aren't easy to come by. I am kinda cranky with it, I don't mind helping, but there is a difference between helping and the helpfulness being abused.

[KJJ]

it's unfortunate that there are no accessible organisations that could help puddles maybe you should have a think about where you want to draw the line in terms of assistance and then clearly and calmly let her know where that line is? (I'm all for being there for the dogs, but you need to be there for your own dogs too - not to mention taking care of yourself as well)

[Rosetta]

Is there no other neighbour who could help out? Usually in those country communities people tend to rally around. Does she have an automatic feeder she could set up for them when she is gone for the day?

I worry about the little Tibbie if it is out in the streets with the stray dogs getting around.

[kelpiecuddles]

How sad Sounds like she would be more suited to a cat or two, no walking required and if raised on dry food and given a nice big tub of water they cope fine if their owner is away overnight in an emergency. A friend of ours who passed away from cancer spent most of her final year reclining with a furry kitty on her lap.

[mixeduppup]

I was very ill for a number of years and if it wasn't for my dogs I would have gone insane (seriously). I only had my mum to help but my dogs kept me wanting to go on. I really empathise with her situation but feel she may need help in getting better fencing and maybe getting dogs more suited to her predicament or hiring someone to come in and walk and play with them.

[Loving my Oldies]

I think the woman's situation is very sad. I can also totally understand Puddles' situation as well. The woman needs to take responsibility for herself and for those creatures who have no say in the matter.

Any course of action depends on whether the woman is going to get well or whether her health issues are incurable and she is just going to deteriorate until she needs to go into care. As she already has a pacemaker, it would appear that the second scenario is what is going to eventually happen.

Although I understand the difficulties of living in a small town, but in your position, Puddles, I would be having a chat to her doctor.

Obviously you want to help and you already have, but you can only do much for people who won't recognise their limitations and/or expect others to pick up the slack.

[kelpiecuddles]

Have you spoken to her at all about her feelings about the dogs? For some people it's all 20:20 hindsight, they don't see what the consequnces will be and she probably just thought getting the second dog would be a friend for her other one and then they'd be happy and settled and it would be sunshine and rainbows... The reality is probably not what she was expecting. Maybe in conversation you could chat about dogs and tell her about someone you know who does rescue/foster care and the wonderful success stories, don't suggest she gives up her dogs but just talk about how happy a particluar dog was and how sweet it all was, etc, etc. Over time she might come around to the idea that her dogs might be better off elsewhere and if that idea creeps in to her head you might be able to link her up with a rescue service then.

[Her Majesty Dogmad]

You could check with the RSPCA, they have a program in NSW to help people in these situations.

I was recently approached to help a mentally ill gentleman who was also about to become homeless. He had two treasured little dogs and had gone on a waiting list for government housing. He did not want to give the dogs up.

I spoke to the RSPCA and they have the resources and organisation to run a program for people in that situation, looking after the dogs so that the person has a chance to get themselves set up and back in a position to take the dogs.

In the end it turned out to be the very best option for him, he's able to visit whereas if the dogs had come into Sydney, he would have been so far away.

For many people it would be easier if they had a cat, I understand they need company - I couldn't bear to be without an animal myself but a cat is a lot easier to cope with and doesn't need walking. People can go and feed the cat but young dogs need a lot more. Doesn't sound like this lady has the right situation for these dogs, you need a lot of support from friends and family if you are physically unable to meet all the needs of young dogs yourself. They certainly shouldn't be in a situation where they can get out.

Edited June 13, 2013 by dogmad

[CavsRcute]

You could check with the RSPCA, they have a program in NSW to help people in these situations.

I was recently approached to help a mentally ill gentleman who was also about to become homeless. He had two treasured little dogs and had gone on a waiting list for government housing. He did not want to give the dogs up.

I spoke to the RSPCA and they have the resources and organisation to run a program for people in that situation, looking after the dogs so that the person has a chance to get themselves set up and back in a position to take the dogs.

In the end it turned out to be the very best option for him, he's able to visit whereas if the dogs had come into Sydney, he would have been so far away.

For many people it would be easier if they had a cat, I understand they need company - I couldn't bear to be without an animal myself but a cat is a lot easier to cope with and doesn't need walking. People can go and feed the cat but young dogs need a lot more. Doesn't sound like this lady has the right situation for these dogs, you need a lot of support from friends and family if you are physically unable to meet all the needs of young dogs yourself. They certainly shouldn't be in a situation where they can get out.

Dogmad,

I have a friend who has a puppy that is only about 16 weeks old. She has had some serious family problems, and this has exacerbated her own health problems.

She has had trouble toilet training the puppy and doesn't have the capacity to even clean up after the puppy or the energy to follow through on the training. It is now being boarded at the vet which brings it's own set of problems plus the expense. And she is heartbroken

I was wondering whether the RSPCA would be able to assist in this situation?

[RuralPug]

Your local hospital should have a social worker with a list of contacts: people who will run errands, help with the dogs etc. Sometimes they are volunteers, sometimes paid carers. If one can't be found close to your small town that chat with your local postmaster/postmistress to direct you to the 'goto' person in your local area. Good luck!

[RuralPug]

OOOPS double post, sorry!

Edited June 14, 2013 by RuralPug

[Dmayma]

Hi Puddles

Weall understand your frustration with the current situation and of course it is unfair towards your own needs and working schedule. However, try to rethink the whole thing and perhaps try to understand what happens and why it happens through your neighbors eyes.

For someone still so young, it is very obvious that her body doesn't quite match her age and I feel terribly sorry for her. The dogs belong to her and are already there. I also assume they are well treated and well fed.

Luckily, we are the ones fortunate enough to have good health and therefore enjoy our dogs; sadly, that isn't the case with your neighbor. Often, when someone faces such challenging situations (on/off the hospital) they are quite lost, insecure and scared most of the time despite not speaking about it. Perhaps her dogs are all she has at the moment: a reason to wake up every day, stick to a routine and try to keep things going on.

As said before in this thread, it is pitiful the fact our communities often don't have organized groups or volunteers able to help someone like your neighbor. As well, we shall all remember that no one (and that includes us) is free of facing the same situation in the future. Life changes continually to all of us, and eventually those changes can be far from ideal or desirable.

My elderly neighbor (around 70yo now) got a Poodle puppy 6 years ago. I remember thinking with myself "what a heck!!! A puppy is a lot of work!". She did a great job with her little dog and the little thing is adorable. Around 3 years ago she started having issues with her back and her energy wasn't at all the same. Her 2 daughters always came to visit her, but regarding "her dog", none of them rose their hand trying to help her mother keep the dog. I have a great relationship with my neighbor and know very well how much she loves that dog and vice versa. Several times I caught her crying because she was unable to walk her little girl or because she needed to stay at the hospital for some time and none of her family members would take the little one in for a couple of weeks.

I am a proud guardian of 3 Amstaffs and 3 cats and my dogs are extremely well socialized, very calm, trained and laid back (they are inside dogs by the way). One day, I decided to step in and offer my neighbor to let me help her with her dog by taking her in with my own animals during her hospital stays or whatever situation she needed some help with. At the beginning she was slightly concerned due to my dogs size, despite the fact they play all together with her own dog since coming to live with myself and my husband. It was chaotic I must say, due to her little dog being extremely excitable and a pocket rocket. Did it disturb my routine? You bet (she chased the cats around at the beginning), but over time I polished her dog's manners and she just fits perfectly with my own pack of 3 dogs and 3 cats. To be honest, it wasn't exactly the sort of helping hand I was prepared to offer often, but someone had to. And it all happened 3 years ago.

My neighbor right now is still in hospital after spinal surgery and her little pocket rocket is right here, by my side, comfortably snoring between my 2 boys (dogs) and 2 of the cats (yes, they all get along beautifully). I believe she is less stressed out knowing her little one is safe, warm, well fed and cared for. I got a second mother and a great friend in my neighbor and little Rebecca (the Poodle) got an instant 2nd family and 6 siblings.

Regardless it all, I do not think for a second "I am such a good girl" for doing it. I was only there, watching her crying for not knowing what to do to keep her little dog and Gosh knows how much she loves and needs this

dog.

At no instance I am suggesting you to do the same. Your life and working commitments are different and pretty demanding by themselves. Sure your neighbor bit more than she can chew on, but didn't we all do that at some point in our lives? So here is an idea....how about contacting the local Rotary Club, some Neighborhood Association or Volunteer organization? Perhaps they are able to help her keep her companion animals by working out a walking/feeding/keeping schedule. Anyway, just an idea.

The main reason i did what I did was because I put myself in her skin and tried to think what would I do if I wasn't able to have my beloved pets by my side. We are all members of a community and, as citizens and human beings, should think more often in those who need our help, whether they ask for it or not. Sadly, our companion animals are unable to speak. We may not change the world, but surely we can try to change one's life, little by little, one step at a time.

All the best

[persephone]

One is never too ill to have dogs , however one can be too ill to provide everything the dogs need.

These dogs sound an unsuitable match for this lady's state of health ..and it is a very sad story.

I hope that you ,or a social worker with sense are able to talk with this lady and find out a bit more - ie: does she feel safer with the dogs ? Are they for company/diversion? Are they her reason to keep trying , to keep living? Is she aware that she can rehome them with help ..that she doesn't need to feel they have to stay there ?

Poor lady ... I hope she can be assisted to find a solution - sounds as if having other living beings in her house is important ...

[Loving my Oldies]

One is never too ill to have dogs , however one can be too ill to provide everything the dogs need.

These dogs sound an unsuitable match for this lady's state of health ..and it is a very sad story.

I hope that you ,or a social worker with sense are able to talk with this lady and find out a bit more - ie: does she feel safer with the dogs ? Are they for company/diversion? Are they her reason to keep trying , to keep living? Is she aware that she can rehome them with help ..that she doesn't need to feel they have to stay there ?

Poor lady ... I hope she can be assisted to find a solution - sounds as if having other living beings in her house is important ...

Persephone said it all so much better than I. I cannot imagine life without my dogs, but if I can't give a life to my dogs, then I shouldn't have them.

Cats can give so much love and comfort - not much beats a soft and squishy cat wrapped around your head at night purring to bring the roof down.

This poor lady thought of the lab as becoming an assistance dog, but apparently without any understanding of the huge amount of training that goes into that.

Doctors or social workers or the RSPCA need to be brought in to assist in resolving a very sad situation.

[mita]

It's from left field. But there's a Facebook page for the Charleville Dog Obedience & Agility. Seems that could be one community group the lady might ask for some ideas from. Not that her health permits actually taking part. But the group seems community minded.

On April 12, someone posted if there was a dog missing .... because there was a small dog the poster concerned about. It'd walked from the RSL to the hospital... & said it was 'Maltese like.'

https://www.facebook.com/CharlevilleDogObedienceAndAgility?ref=stream#_=_

As others have said. It's a case of being able to care for dogs when you're ill.... or to have a back-up who freely agrees to help.

[stellnme]

Hi Puddles

Weall understand your frustration with the current situation and of course it is unfair towards your own needs and working schedule. However, try to rethink the whole thing and perhaps try to understand what happens and why it happens through your neighbors eyes.

For someone still so young, it is very obvious that her body doesn't quite match her age and I feel terribly sorry for her. The dogs belong to her and are already there. I also assume they are well treated and well fed.

Luckily, we are the ones fortunate enough to have good health and therefore enjoy our dogs; sadly, that isn't the case with your neighbor. Often, when someone faces such challenging situations (on/off the hospital) they are quite lost, insecure and scared most of the time despite not speaking about it. Perhaps her dogs are all she has at the moment: a reason to wake up every day, stick to a routine and try to keep things going on.

As said before in this thread, it is pitiful the fact our communities often don't have organized groups or volunteers able to help someone like your neighbor. As well, we shall all remember that no one (and that includes us) is free of facing the same situation in the future. Life changes continually to all of us, and eventually those changes can be far from ideal or desirable.

My elderly neighbor (around 70yo now) got a Poodle puppy 6 years ago. I remember thinking with myself "what a heck!!! A puppy is a lot of work!". She did a great job with her little dog and the little thing is adorable. Around 3 years ago she started having issues with her back and her energy wasn't at all the same. Her 2 daughters always came to visit her, but regarding "her dog", none of them rose their hand trying to help her mother keep the dog. I have a great relationship with my neighbor and know very well how much she loves that dog and vice versa. Several times I caught her crying because she was unable to walk her little girl or because she needed to stay at the hospital for some time and none of her family members would take the little one in for a couple of weeks.

I am a proud guardian of 3 Amstaffs and 3 cats and my dogs are extremely well socialized, very calm, trained and laid back (they are inside dogs by the way). One day, I decided to step in and offer my neighbor to let me help her with her dog by taking her in with my own animals during her hospital stays or whatever situation she needed some help with. At the beginning she was slightly concerned due to my dogs size, despite the fact they play all together with her own dog since coming to live with myself and my husband. It was chaotic I must say, due to her little dog being extremely excitable and a pocket rocket. Did it disturb my routine? You bet (she chased the cats around at the beginning), but over time I polished her dog's manners and she just fits perfectly with my own pack of 3 dogs and 3 cats. To be honest, it wasn't exactly the sort of helping hand I was prepared to offer often, but someone had to. And it all happened 3 years ago.

My neighbor right now is still in hospital after spinal surgery and her little pocket rocket is right here, by my side, comfortably snoring between my 2 boys (dogs) and 2 of the cats (yes, they all get along beautifully). I believe she is less stressed out knowing her little one is safe, warm, well fed and cared for. I got a second mother and a great friend in my neighbor and little Rebecca (the Poodle) got an instant 2nd family and 6 siblings.

Regardless it all, I do not think for a second "I am such a good girl" for doing it. I was only there, watching her crying for not knowing what to do to keep her little dog and Gosh knows how much she loves and needs this

dog.

At no instance I am suggesting you to do the same. Your life and working commitments are different and pretty demanding by themselves. Sure your neighbor bit more than she can chew on, but didn't we all do that at some point in our lives? So here is an idea....how about contacting the local Rotary Club, some Neighborhood Association or Volunteer organization? Perhaps they are able to help her keep her companion animals by working out a walking/feeding/keeping schedule. Anyway, just an idea.

The main reason i did what I did was because I put myself in her skin and tried to think what would I do if I wasn't able to have my beloved pets by my side. We are all members of a community and, as citizens and human beings, should think more often in those who need our help, whether they ask for it or not. Sadly, our companion animals are unable to speak. We may not change the world, but surely we can try to change one's life, little by little, one step at a time.

All the best

Really good advice.

[puddles]

Hi all,

I actually run charleville dog obedience and agility! Unforunrwly she is one who has had very little expereicene with dogs, however overestimates her abilities. She wont come to training Because it is too cold. ii have kept quiet to see what others opinions were of late :)

So, on the cat idea, she is actually getting another cat next week, after giving hers away a couple of months ago to the neighbor because she 'had no time for it'. So now lets add a kitten to the mix of animals!

Yesterday Arvo she locked them in her house while she went out. I heard the pup whining, but it often does when she isn't home anyways, so I kept going about my business, as it wasn't a cry for help, it was simply a whinge. Later on, I saw her and she told me that they totally destroyed her house! Had knocked all her medication over and gotten into a whole bag of chocolate! The cleaner turned up today and it was a huge huge job, glasses smashed in the kitchen and everything! The lovely older lady who already has two dogs of her own has taken them again as she has gone into hospital yet again. I suggest she crate train them so they can be safe and secure when she is not there as it certainly takes any worry out of my mind when its super cold for example and i crate mine inside wheni go out! She didn't really take any notice!

The RSPCA ideas are good, but unfortunately we don't have an RSPCA here. The dpi lady does the call outs etc, but the RSPCA is fairly difficult in actually getting people out here etc.

I am doing an exam at the nighbourhood centre on Monday, and I was going to have a chat to them about the options. Social workers etc aren't very accessible out here. The older lady who has them says that my neighbor always comments on how well behaved they are when they return home from her place, so I am hoping the older lady says something to her now too.

Seems this predicament is getting slightly worse.

Thanks guys for all your suggestions and support :)