mr.mister Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 I'm not sure if I'm the only one who gets this, but is love to hear from other people about their experiences when getting a new dog. I adopted a 13 month old kelpie cross yesterday. In essence, he is everything I've wanted. Well trained and well mannered, sweet and gentle with my two cats, loves people, very intelligent but not hyperactive, and just generally sweet and affectionate. So really, he is a joy to have around. However, I seem to have got myself into a slump today and am worrying whether getting a dog at all was a good decision. I have no problem training him, exercising him, taking him out to toilet or anything like that but just seem to be really depressed about the whole thing. I am wondering if its just a passing feeling because of the shock to the system (he's my first dog in 7 years) or if I'm really not cut out for it yet? Perhaps it's just the fact that its been cold and dreary for the last 4 days, and I'm tired from the 7 hour trip to pick him up? Has anyone experienced this with adding a new pet to the family? Did it pass? Would love to hear some related stories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirislin Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 It might be the initial excitment has passed and now you are settling down to reality, that you have a big responsibility for the life of this dog. I think I've been through similar, but for me it's always passed once I get used to the idea. I'm sure I went through a bit of post natal depression when my mare Pagan was born. Luckily for me it wasn't the debilitating episodes some women have, but certainly I was very weepy for about a week. I think I was also depressed when both my whippets had their litters, although both had alot of problems which probably contributed. Just reassure yourself, you've thought it through, you can manage a dog at this time of your life and once you get to know each other you will wonder how you ever lived without him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dame Aussie Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 (edited) I remember being worried about a second dog changing the dynamics and not getting along with the first dog, but no I haven't felt bad about getting a dog. As Kirislin said, maybe it's just dawning on you that it's a big responsibility? Edited June 1, 2013 by Aussie3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hankdog Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Buyers remorse is very common for many large purchases. Just realisinh the commitment now that the excitement of choosing is over. It should pass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juice Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 (edited) I used to feel the same about a day after a new badly behaved foster came, I just thought why did I put my hand up when everything before was so easy. I think it will pass, the adrenalin rush you had has worn off and you are coming down. Try and just do everything as you normally would ,don't overthink it, let the dog fit in around you. Edited June 1, 2013 by juice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aphra Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 I think of it as buyer's remorse. You get something you really, really want, and when you get it, after all the excitement wears off, you discover that all your routines are upset, you have to think about everything differently, instead of doing your own thing, you have to keep thinking about managing your new dog, and that's all a bit tiring. Even when you get the thing you wanted most, there's also a bit of resentment because you've been bumped out of your usual, comfortable rut. :D My advice to new adopters who get cold feet is to just stay with it for a week. By then things will have settled down a bit, you'll have new routines with dog included so things won't be quite so difficult and you'll be having so much fun with your new dog that you'll wonder what all the upset was for. Every time I've added a new dog I've had 48 hours of "what did I do that for? After that things settled down and it was all good. I'm not sure if I'm the only one who gets this, but is love to hear from other people about their experiences when getting a new dog. I adopted a 13 month old kelpie cross yesterday. In essence, he is everything I've wanted. Well trained and well mannered, sweet and gentle with my two cats, loves people, very intelligent but not hyperactive, and just generally sweet and affectionate. So really, he is a joy to have around. However, I seem to have got myself into a slump today and am worrying whether getting a dog at all was a good decision. I have no problem training him, exercising him, taking him out to toilet or anything like that but just seem to be really depressed about the whole thing. I am wondering if its just a passing feeling because of the shock to the system (he's my first dog in 7 years) or if I'm really not cut out for it yet? Perhaps it's just the fact that its been cold and dreary for the last 4 days, and I'm tired from the 7 hour trip to pick him up? Has anyone experienced this with adding a new pet to the family? Did it pass? Would love to hear some related stories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest donatella Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 (edited) Totally normal! After your first week you wont see life without him. I had this with both my dogs! When I first got Lucy (the first) I cried for the first few days wondering if I did the right thing and now she's an awesome addition to my life, I have no regrets at all. Then I got so excited when I got my second then I had a bit of panic set in initially but got over it really quick. Now I wouldn't have it any other way. There is no way in hell I would get a third though LOL If you suffer anxiety anyway (I do) then these sorts of situations can be really debilitating but stop focusing on the negatives and focus on all the awesome positives of dog ownership. Anxiety tends to get us to focus on the bad instead of all the good but that feeling will soon pass. Edited June 1, 2013 by donatella Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moosepup Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Exactly what aphra said! It's a real life changer, even just adding a dog when you already have dogs is overwhelming. It takes a week or so to get into a new routine and adjust, give it time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salukifan Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 I call this the "oh my God, what have I done" moment. Yep, had it with each and every dog. It passes. All change is stressful, even if it's one you have chosen to undertake. A new dog is change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HazyWal Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 (edited) I crapped myself when Stan arrived and then the rescue group person left. We looked at each other for a while and then I just realised he was meant to be, such a gorgeous boy that just needed some lovin'. He has now taken complete advantage of my weaknesses...sigh :) Edited June 1, 2013 by stans mum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shakti Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 LOL yes totally normal. I think it is the realisation that your life has totally changed. New mothers get it too (seriously I think it is kinda similar) Hang in there - so long as you are enjoying the taking care of him you will be fine but don't rush yourself - you are entitled to feel like this - just shows you truly understand what a huge commitment it is!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr.mister Posted June 1, 2013 Author Share Posted June 1, 2013 (edited) Thanks so much everyone. :) I feel a lot better now. It helps that he is just the sweetest dog and just seems to be making the whole thing as easy for me as possible. :laugh: I had a little cry earlier in the day but once I did that I seemed to feel a lot better. On a completely different note, zeke has this oily grey/brown stuff in his ears. He isn't shaking his head but does scratch them sometimes. They smell very 'doggy' compared to the rest of him. I just gave him a flea bath as I found a few on him, not sure if they have anything to do with it? Edited June 1, 2013 by mr.mister Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OSoSwift Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Yep perfectly normal I call it having the Holy crap what have I done's!!! I think I have had it with most of ours, not all but the worst was when I had a 2 yo and 5mo humans then I sat looking at this teeny 8 wo puppy and went oh shit not sure that was a smart move!!!! A couple of days later one very cruisy puppy was firmly entrenched :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackdogs Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Sounds like it could be a yeast infection. I'd go to the vet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dancinbcs Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 I am not surprised at all that you are having second thoughts. After planning what your next dog would be for several years you have done a complete turnaround. Time will tell if this was really meant to be or not and don't feel guilty either way. You have saved a dog who is meant to be with you for now at least. Things happen for a reason. If he turns out to be your forever dog that is great but if not you can always train him up some more and find him a real forever home while he is still young. As for the ears it sounds like he has ear mites. Get his ears vet checked and treated asap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alkhe Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Yep, I'm with everyone else - I remember sitting in the front seat with Maggie in my lap, driving away from the breeder thinking 'my god. What the hell have we done..' and then feeling terrible for even thinking that, and then running through all these scenarios. What if we never bond. What if she hates me. Now I can't go live overseas. Blah blah blah. But getting her was the best decision we ever made, and it changed our lives in ways we never thought possible. My entire focus and direction has changed since getting Maggie, my partner and I have become closer and are now engaged, we're now involved in rescue and I have a whole new set of friends, it's just been the best thing in the world. I also get it with every new foster, thinking 'ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh god WHY am I doing this' for the first few hours, until I come to my senses. It's easier just having 2 dogs, and there's always an adjustment and settling in period. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
disintegratus Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 I can't say I've ever experienced that feeling with any of the dogs, though with all of them really, and especially Thundercleese as he was the only one that was an intentional purchase as a puppy (in hindsight a stupid decision as he was byb xbred and has inherited fear aggression issues), I have experienced the grounding feeling of my expectations crashing right the hell down! :laugh: I had very high and unrealistic expectations of Thundercleese, as my first puppy Jack was amazing from day dot, and is just an incredible dog all round. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starkehre Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 Yeh, I get this sort of thing a lot. I'd say you are just feeling a little overwhelmed with the major changes this will bring to your life. Just give it a few days and I reckon you will feel heaps better. It is an adjustment phase. The positive side is like you said the dog is pretty much perfect and fitting in really well, so all that is awesome. Try and take the pressure off yourself and relax a bit. You will cope, all will be fine and you will be ever so happy when you feel on top of things again. Take care :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvsdogs Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 I've only ever felt trepidation was when we adopted a x border collie from the pound. He was only 5.5 m/o at the time & had a couple of behaviours that had me worried if we'd done the right thing. He used to nip at our heals when we went up the back steps & bark at me when I hung the washing out & turned the clothes line. I can remember thinking at the time, I don't like this dog. He eventually stopped the ankle nipping but still for a while barked at the clothes line. He also had to go back to the pound to be desexed 2 weeks after we got him. After that he turned out to be a fantastic dog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Clover Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 I call this the "oh my God, what have I done" moment. Yep, had it with each and every dog. It passes. All change is stressful, even if it's one you have chosen to undertake. A new dog is change. :laugh: yep this. I pretty much got it everytime, but it has all worked out no problems in the end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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