Removing The Aged Dog And Palliative Care Forums

[Salukifan]

Should one have to ask specifically for support to get it? General question, not related to any thread in particular.

I'm certainly very grateful for the support I've received now in my own thread, and I post replies of sympathy in other threads where it hasn't been specifically asked for. But clearly there are some people who would prefer that not to happen.

I don't recall anyone saying that they didn't want it to happen but rather that they didn't necessarily think it was helpful.

Please remember also that this forum has had many of tales of sadness and that after a while, you run out of kind things to say. After 10 years of membership I have been supportive in so many threads, that quite frankly, I don't always feel I have anything left to give. Have you got any idea how many hundreds of threads of tragedy and loss there have been here over the years?

And of course, when you do it in real life and tragic things happen to people with dogs that you know, sometime you're all "supportived" out from time to time.

So please don't blame people for not being as supportive as you'd like - sometimes it's not about you and your thread quite so much as others not feeling that they have anything to give.

[Dogsfevr]

I don't read that section often * if & when i do i would miss every post & i imagine many others are the same.

The title is very specific so i can see why many people would not feel the need to visit the area & i certainly don't see people not replying there as ignoring someone its just not an area i visit.

If the same topics where posted in health then chances are more people would read & maybe give advice.

But like others have said advice can't always be given & sometimes the obvious advice isn't what the OP want to hear so better to say nothing .

[Sheridan]

If someone feels they aren;t getting tthe replys they think they could get, then they can post in another forum, just as people do with other issues. the kidney failure one could be in the general health one as it isn;t specific to just being old

Specific to just being old?? I posted my boy's kidney failure thread in palliative care because that's exactly what it was, palliative care. I had already posted two other related threads in health with limited response. It's not about an expectation of replies, but a hope that someone somewhere can share some advice or thoughts. So if you're in a situation with a chronically ill dog and feeling desperate and getting nothing, of course you can feel disheartened.

I do read the palliative care threads, same as I read rainbow bridge. My heart aches for people in those situations. I very rarely have any constructive advice other than to express my sympathy. But as Sheridan said, some threads get more support than others. I tend to post in threads where it looks like there is not as much support, but that's a personal choice I make because I really feel for those people.

You chose to put your thread in a section that has little traffic, so you shouldn;t expect lots of replies, esp on a subject where there is limited number of people with experience. If you wanted an - oh dear, there there set of replies, utilise a forum that gets more traffic! It;s like saying you are disheartened not getting a lift hitch hiking, when you are stood in a country lane!

That said, I do sympathise, as last year I went through a similar thing with a fairly young dog who had liver failure and we knew when the balance tipped, it was going to be a fast run to the end. That doesn;t mean I am the type of person who wants to go to threads just to give sympathy, it is a dog forum, so for me that is a given anyway, I, personally would prefer posts that have the help and not have people saying stuff that gets in the way of the useful stuff.

I wonder if you realise how rude you sound? It's Kayla1's fault that she posted a thread about her dying dog in a forum that is supposed to be for people whose dogs are dying. The sheer insensitivity is gobsmacking.

[PuddleDuck]

If someone feels they aren;t getting tthe replys they think they could get, then they can post in another forum, just as people do with other issues. the kidney failure one could be in the general health one as it isn;t specific to just being old

Specific to just being old?? I posted my boy's kidney failure thread in palliative care because that's exactly what it was, palliative care. I had already posted two other related threads in health with limited response. It's not about an expectation of replies, but a hope that someone somewhere can share some advice or thoughts. So if you're in a situation with a chronically ill dog and feeling desperate and getting nothing, of course you can feel disheartened.

I do read the palliative care threads, same as I read rainbow bridge. My heart aches for people in those situations. I very rarely have any constructive advice other than to express my sympathy. But as Sheridan said, some threads get more support than others. I tend to post in threads where it looks like there is not as much support, but that's a personal choice I make because I really feel for those people.

You chose to put your thread in a section that has little traffic, so you shouldn;t expect lots of replies, esp on a subject where there is limited number of people with experience. If you wanted an - oh dear, there there set of replies, utilise a forum that gets more traffic! It;s like saying you are disheartened not getting a lift hitch hiking, when you are stood in a country lane!

That said, I do sympathise, as last year I went through a similar thing with a fairly young dog who had liver failure and we knew when the balance tipped, it was going to be a fast run to the end. That doesn;t mean I am the type of person who wants to go to threads just to give sympathy, it is a dog forum, so for me that is a given anyway, I, personally would prefer posts that have the help and not have people saying stuff that gets in the way of the useful stuff.

I wonder if you realise how rude you sound? It's Kayla1's fault that she posted a thread about her dying dog in a forum that is supposed to be for people whose dogs are dying. The sheer insensitivity is gobsmacking.

What Sheridan said

Kayla I'm so sorry to hear about your boy. No advice, but lots of these

[kayla1]

Should one have to ask specifically for support to get it? General question, not related to any thread in particular.

I'm certainly very grateful for the support I've received now in my own thread, and I post replies of sympathy in other threads where it hasn't been specifically asked for. But clearly there are some people who would prefer that not to happen.

I don't recall anyone saying that they didn't want it to happen but rather that they didn't necessarily think it was helpful.

Please remember also that this forum has had many of tales of sadness and that after a while, you run out of kind things to say. After 10 years of membership I have been supportive in so many threads, that quite frankly, I don't always feel I have anything left to give. Have you got any idea how many hundreds of threads of tragedy and loss there have been here over the years?

And of course, when you do it in real life and tragic things happen to people with dogs that you know, sometime you're all "supportived" out from time to time.

So please don't blame people for not being as supportive as you'd like - sometimes it's not about you and your thread quite so much as others not feeling that they have anything to give.

Yes, I do have an idea of how many tales of sadness there have been. I may not post very often, but I have been reading for many years.

Of course my situation is not unique, there are many people here that have gone through it far more times than I have, and this topic was about all of those threads that may get missed. The point I am making is that, in my case, it is not about having any expectation of replies, nor is it about placing blame on anyone. It's about a feeling of disheartenment when you think you have reached a dead end, through any avenue - it's the helplessness you feel because you haven't been able to find an answer to help your dying dog.

[kayla1]

Thank you Sheridan and PuddleDuck.

[Salukifan]

Of course my situation is not unique, there are many people here that have gone through it far more times than I have, and this topic was about all of those threads that may get missed. The point I am making is that, in my case, it is not about having any expectation of replies, nor is it about placing blame on anyone. It's about a feeling of disheartenment when you think you have reached a dead end, through any avenue - it's the helplessness you feel because you haven't been able to find an answer to help your dying dog.

For a dying dog there are no answers and only one question - "is today the day?".

I have two 15 year old dogs and one 13 year old. I know that now they are on borrowed time. Hard times ahead but the only consolation is that they have lived long and happy lives. When the time comes for each of them, I will do right by them and ease them from this world.

I won't expect or even seek words of support because for me, nothing will help. We all have our ways of dealing with the loss of a beloved pet.

Edited April 14, 2013 by Haredown Whippets

[Guest donatella]

People aren't limited to posting only in these sections if they want to get more traffic. Even posting it here in Health would have gained a wider audience.

I don't go into Rainbow Bridge or the Palliative Care forums but because I find them sad and there's probably not much I can do. Perhaps when I go through a situation myself I will be more likely to help those in need.

[Sheridan]

Should one have to ask specifically for support to get it? General question, not related to any thread in particular.

I'm certainly very grateful for the support I've received now in my own thread, and I post replies of sympathy in other threads where it hasn't been specifically asked for. But clearly there are some people who would prefer that not to happen.

I don't recall anyone saying that they didn't want it to happen but rather that they didn't necessarily think it was helpful.

Please remember also that this forum has had many of tales of sadness and that after a while, you run out of kind things to say. After 10 years of membership I have been supportive in so many threads, that quite frankly, I don't always feel I have anything left to give. Have you got any idea how many hundreds of threads of tragedy and loss there have been here over the years?

And of course, when you do it in real life and tragic things happen to people with dogs that you know, sometime you're all "supportived" out from time to time.

So please don't blame people for not being as supportive as you'd like - sometimes it's not about you and your thread quite so much as others not feeling that they have anything to give.

Yes, I do have an idea of how many tales of sadness there have been. I may not post very often, but I have been reading for many years.

Of course my situation is not unique, there are many people here that have gone through it far more times than I have, and this topic was about all of those threads that may get missed. The point I am making is that, in my case, it is not about having any expectation of replies, nor is it about placing blame on anyone. It's about a feeling of disheartenment when you think you have reached a dead end, through any avenue - it's the helplessness you feel because you haven't been able to find an answer to help your dying dog.

It's the desperation of trying to get your dog to eat and drink. It's watching the weight loss, the vomiting, and realising that there's no running poo anymore because your dog isn't eating enough to actually generate poo. And it's the guilt, that's the worst, the feeling of guilt. Dogs lose around 80% of their kidney function before symptoms show and you keep thinking as you try to get your dog to eat that you should have picked it up sooner. Kidney disease is a particularly filthy illness.

Of course, these feelings and the helplessness are not peculiar to kidney disease but sometimes just a bit of sympathy helps even if you have nothing else to contribute.

People aren't limited to posting only in these sections if they want to get more traffic. Even posting it here in Health would have gained a wider audience.

I don't go into Rainbow Bridge or the Palliative Care forums but because I find them sad and there's probably not much I can do. Perhaps when I go through a situation myself I will be more likely to help those in need.

Not limited but people do actually try to post in the appropriate forum and telling someone it's their fault because their thread about their dying dog didn't get enough attention is blisteringly insensitive.

[cavNrott]

If someone feels they aren;t getting tthe replys they think they could get, then they can post in another forum, just as people do with other issues. the kidney failure one could be in the general health one as it isn;t specific to just being old

Specific to just being old?? I posted my boy's kidney failure thread in palliative care because that's exactly what it was, palliative care. I had already posted two other related threads in health with limited response. It's not about an expectation of replies, but a hope that someone somewhere can share some advice or thoughts. So if you're in a situation with a chronically ill dog and feeling desperate and getting nothing, of course you can feel disheartened.

I do read the palliative care threads, same as I read rainbow bridge. My heart aches for people in those situations. I very rarely have any constructive advice other than to express my sympathy. But as Sheridan said, some threads get more support than others. I tend to post in threads where it looks like there is not as much support, but that's a personal choice I make because I really feel for those people.

You chose to put your thread in a section that has little traffic, so you shouldn;t expect lots of replies, esp on a subject where there is limited number of people with experience. If you wanted an - oh dear, there there set of replies, utilise a forum that gets more traffic! It;s like saying you are disheartened not getting a lift hitch hiking, when you are stood in a country lane!

That said, I do sympathise, as last year I went through a similar thing with a fairly young dog who had liver failure and we knew when the balance tipped, it was going to be a fast run to the end. That doesn;t mean I am the type of person who wants to go to threads just to give sympathy, it is a dog forum, so for me that is a given anyway, I, personally would prefer posts that have the help and not have people saying stuff that gets in the way of the useful stuff.

I wonder if you realise how rude you sound? It's Kayla1's fault that she posted a thread about her dying dog in a forum that is supposed to be for people whose dogs are dying. The sheer insensitivity is gobsmacking.

I agree, a very rude, inappropriate and insensitive reply.

I have no experience to offer Kayla. My palliative care experience with a dog is cancer related so I didn't reply. I do however understand the heartbreak of palliatively caring for a dog.

Kayla I wish you courage and wisdom on your sad journey with your dog. I've been there and now how heartbreaking it is.

[sas]

I never go into it, I forgot it was even there.

[trinabean]

It's a hard one Sheridan. I tend not to visit the palliative care forum mostly because I don't know what to say. I've never had a dog needing that sort of love and dedication so I have nothing helpful to add.

I feel awkward letting people know I'm thinking of them because the words seem so insincere, especially when backed up with nothing helpful.

That being said, on the other hand, it seems wrong to segregate the topics into a sub-forum -- almost as though they're being hidden because it's shameful or something. I guess if they weren't hidden in a sub-forum, there's the potential to generate much more traffic and awareness and having them in the general health forum won't be forcing me to comment either.

Hope this helps somewhat.

This reflects my feelings too. There are some forums I never go into (for a variety of very different reasons). I simply have no experience to offer in the palliative care thread.

Maybe the palliative care and aging dog forums could have a new thread each in the general Health forum, to see if they generate more traffic? Perhaps they would catch the eye of more people in there than off in a separate forum? I still don't think I'd comment for the reasons stated above. However others with palliative care experience might be compelled to, if the topics were more visible?

Sorry if my post makes no sense. Desperately need caffeine, brain is AWOL.

[Staffyluv]

I never go into it, I forgot it was even there.

I don't think most people do sas, unless they need it.

I also think the only ones to reply are those who have been through something and have used the resources the threads have to offer..

I never used to frequent the training forum either until I got Zig because Ollie had no issues with training (unlike the new lad)..

[Bindo]

I never go into it, I forgot it was even there.

I don't think most people do sas, unless they need it.

I also think the only ones to reply are those who have been through something and have used the resources the threads have to offer..

I never used to frequent the training forum either until I got Zig because Ollie had no issues with training (unlike the new lad)..

I think Staffyluv has nailed it. As a current active poster in the palliative care forum (my dog has mast cell tumour) I have found the advice and support invaluable from others who have been, or are going through, similar times. Prior to this, I was an infrequent visitor and didn't post as I really didn't have anything to offer. When Lucy was diagnosed, one of the first things I did was a search for MCT and bang, up came all this very useful information.

I have no problem with infrequent replies or not much traffic, but I can see why this issue was raised in regards to the renal failure thread. I guess most people think the palliative care forum is for cancer cases only, which isn't true; there are many other terminal diseases. However, I guess I would be a bit disappointed to have these threads merged with the general health forum as it is like a little 'community' in there and we all try to support each other, as best we can, through the roller coaster of palliative care.

By the way Kayla, I can't offer any experience or advice for kidney failure, but I really do have empathy for what you and your dog are going through at this time.

[~Anne~]

Well said Bindo. I agree with what you have written. It is a more intimate forum and like a small And I think that, if people want more responses then they're free to post in more general areas.

[Loving my Oldies]

I haven't read all the posts in this thread, but I've said it before: I think there are too many subforums on DOL. So many informative and intelligent threads get missed.

[cavNrott]

I haven't read all the posts in this thread, but I've said it before: I think there are too many subforums on DOL. So many informative and intelligent threads get missed.

In my opinion there are way too many non dog related threads on DOL. Often when using the 'view new content' option there are so many threads about non dog related issues that one could be forgiven for thinking it's a general chat forum instead of a pure bred dog forum.

If people need the palliative care sub forum they'll find it or someone will point them in the right direction. The palliative care sub forum is a place where we can receive support and advice from others who have experience in caring for a terminally ill dog.

The palliative care sub forum should not be a place for general chit chat or for diagnosis of an unknown or suspected health issue (as has happened in the past). It is a sub forum for those who are caring for a dying dog.

[megan_]

I agree cavnrott (although I love off topic too!).

There are plently of subforums that could go before palliative care does - the sports one doesn't get used often as everyone posts in Training about agility etc.

[Sheridan]

I haven't read all the posts in this thread, but I've said it before: I think there are too many subforums on DOL. So many informative and intelligent threads get missed.

In my opinion there are way too many non dog related threads on DOL. Often when using the 'view new content' option there are so many threads about non dog related issues that one could be forgiven for thinking it's a general chat forum instead of a pure bred dog forum.

If people need the palliative care sub forum they'll find it or someone will point them in the right direction. The palliative care sub forum is a place where we can receive support and advice from others who have experience in caring for a terminally ill dog.

The palliative care sub forum should not be a place for general chit chat or for diagnosis of an unknown or suspected health issue (as has happened in the past). It is a sub forum for those who are caring for a dying dog.

Is there actually any general chit chat at all in the palliative care forum?

[cavNrott]

I haven't read all the posts in this thread, but I've said it before: I think there are too many subforums on DOL. So many informative and intelligent threads get missed.

In my opinion there are way too many non dog related threads on DOL. Often when using the 'view new content' option there are so many threads about non dog related issues that one could be forgiven for thinking it's a general chat forum instead of a pure bred dog forum.

If people need the palliative care sub forum they'll find it or someone will point them in the right direction. The palliative care sub forum is a place where we can receive support and advice from others who have experience in caring for a terminally ill dog.

The palliative care sub forum should not be a place for general chit chat or for diagnosis of an unknown or suspected health issue (as has happened in the past). It is a sub forum for those who are caring for a dying dog.

Is there actually any general chit chat at all in the palliative care forum?

I doubt there's general chit chat and trust it will remain so. What happened is that there was a request for opinions on the possible health issue with a sick dog that had not been diagnosed by a vet. This request was followed by comments explaining the exact nature of palliative care.

I think this thread should probably be in the Forum Suggestions forum.

Edited April 16, 2013 by cavNrott