Goodbye My Precious Brianna, 26 March 2004 - 17 February 2013

[MelodysMum]

I have already shared some of this on Facebook, but wanted to pay tribute to my precious girl on here as well. In the early hours of Sunday morning we said goodbye to our beautiful girl Brightleaf Brianna who was given her wings at the Animal Referral Hospital at Baulkham Hills. I apologise for the length of this, but for me there will never be another dog like my Brianna and I wanted so much to convey in this what she meant to me, and what a beautiful soul she was.

Brianna had not shown any sign of being sick until the last thirty six hours when she went off her food a bit, but would still eat treats. She raced out to the car and happily walked into the vet's on Saturday morning, smiling at people she met along the street. After being diagnosed with a UTI and going home on antibiotics, Brianna collapsed that night and we rushed her to the ARH. They discovered a massive tumour (suspected haemangiosarcoma) on her spleen which had ruptured, as well as multiple tumours throughout her lungs. We knew we could not save her.

My husband, son, daughter and I were all with her as she left us. The staff were so kind, they gave us a private room, and we spent several hours cuddling and kissing Brianna, saying goodbye to her and telling her how much we loved her. Thankfully my daughter had her D-SLR with her, and so we have hundreds of photos and videos of her last few hours with us. When the time came, I laid down on the floor with her, looked into her eyes and told her she was a precious girl, I would always love her, and thanked her for being my baby girl. It was only seconds before she drifted off to sleep. We brought Brianna home with us and she slept for one last time on her bed, then in the morning we laid her to rest in a beautiful, sheltered spot in our garden. We will be placing a plaque there to remember her and planting a beautiful camellia for our special girl. I hope she is safe there, she hated the rain.

When Mac Formston entrusted one of her beautiful Brightleaf cockers into our care we could not believe how lucky we were. After visiting the puppies a couple of times before they were eight weeks old, the day we went to pick her up Brianna ran straight over to us whilst all the other puppies ignored us and kept playing. Brianna had chosen us, and from that moment she was our girl. Brianna was a very people-focused, smart little girl. She was dux of her puppy preschool class and won the award for the most obedient. She loved everyone, and everyone loved her. Even people who didn't really like dogs loved Brianna. She thought everyone who came to our house had come to visit her, and she made everyone feel welcome.

We never got around to showing her as we had hoped. I was just recovering from a seriously broken arm when she arrived, and the following year I had major foot/ankle reconstructive surgery, so showing was impossible. Everyone commented on what a stunning girl she was though,and we would have loved to have seen her in the ring. We had several unsuccessful attempts to have puppies with her. Even artificial insemination did not result in puppies. Brianna had a false pregnancy with each season, and carried her 'babies' with her everywhere she went, even after she had been desexed. Her beloved 'bally' and 'cookie' (monster) were always by her side.

Brianna was such a smart girl; she understood almost everything we said to her. Not only did she shake hands, high five, sit, drop, roll over, stand etc., if she was asked "What's out the window?" or "Where's the pussy cat?" she would race to the window in whatever room she was in and look out. She seemed to understand the concept of what a window was, for she would respond the same way even in other buildings. We resorted to spelling words such as treat, sausage and chicken because she got so excited if she heard them. If she was asked, "What do you want?" she would lead you to wherever she wanted you to go, walking ahead but turning around to make sure you were following. Usually she would take us to the fridge, and sit there smiling waiting for some leftover food she remembered was there, but sometimes she would take us to where one of her 'babies' had gotten stuck under the bed or found itself in some other unreachable place.

We were constantly amazed at how much Brianna understood. Only a couple of days before she died, as she waited for a treat before my daughter and I went out, I said, "Brianna come around the other side," as she had sat in a congested part of the kitchen. No hand signals or body language to read, just a few words, but she knew what it meant. She walked around the other side and sat smiling, waiting for her treat. Brianna always knew when we were talking about her, even if we called her 'the dog' hoping that she wouldn't realise. As soon as she heard me mention the word 'bath', even to another family member, she would walk into the bathroom, and stand on her 'tippy-toes' at the side of the bath, even before I had turned on the water or picked up her towel. She was a very clever girl.

At night my husband would say, "Brianna, Daddy's tired," and she would walk into our bedroom and go to sleep on her bed. Every night she went to bed with her Daddy, and then an hour or so later she would come looking for me, telling me it was time to go to bed too. Often I would be sitting at my desk typing and she would come up for a cuddle. She would climb into my lap, and curl up, content to be with her Mummy. She spent many hours sleeping quietly on the floor beside me as I worked on an essay late into the night.

Waking up was special every morning with Brianna. She knew that her Daddy did not like her being on our bed, so she would wait until she heard him leave for work, and as soon as the front door closed she would wake me by pawing at my arm, then she would climb onto the bed for a cuddle and we would both fall back to sleep for another hour or two. This was a special time that Brianna and I shared, every morning right up until the day of her death. We had a cuddle on the bed and a sleep together on Saturday afternoon before she died, when I had no idea how sick she was. I miss that time with her so much!

My husband has been quietly devastated by Brianna's death. He has not said much, but yesterday he suggested I might like to email myself the photos of her that he had on his phone. It took me ages to go through the hundreds of photos he had taken of his girl - Brianna sitting looking out the front screen door waiting for me to come home, lying upside down on a chair, asleep in a cardboard box, helping with the gardening, digging a hole looking for mice, or just lying on my lap fast asleep. Brianna had a special relationship with each member of the family. My son and daughter are also devastated, and we have all cried many, many tears together.

Brianna loved everyone in the family, and would sit on anyone's lap for a cuddle, but she was my baby girl. Even if she was on someone else's lap, she would leave them instantly to come to me if I walked into the room. Sometimes she would sit beside me on a lounge chair as I sat in my recliner, just looking at me and crying softly to herself. I would turn to her and say, "Do you want a cuddle Brianna?" and she would come straight across to me and snuggle in my lap. As we said goodbye to her on Saturday, I willed myself to commit to memory what it felt like to hold her, to stroke her beautiful silky fur and kiss her soft head. I wish so much I could still hold her in my arms.

The shock and disbelief at the suddenness of her passing is overwhelming. I am heartbroken. I just can't believe my baby is gone, and I would give anything to have her back. She was my precious girl, my constant companion and I don't know how I will go on without her. I have had a physical ache since I lost Brianna, more than I can bear, and I have felt so drained that I can hardly lift my feet to walk. I keep seeing her out of the corner of my eye, and hearing her tags tinkle on her collar as they did when she walked around the house. In our room in the dark at night I think I can hear her breathing as she slept in her bed in our room. I expect her to wake me each morning for our special cuddle on the bed, but my baby girl is not there, and she will never be again. The first morning after she died I woke up and spoke to her. It was just instinctive, something I did every day, and even though I knew she wasn't there, it just came out, "Good girl Brianna, Mummy loves her puppy."

Brianna was my heart dog, we all adored her and we can't imagine our lives without her. We feel privileged to have had her share almost nine years with us, but it wasn't long enough. I thought she would grow old with me. She was not only a beautiful looking girl but she was a beautiful, gentle and loving soul.

Goodbye my precious darling girl, Mummy loves you! You were the best little girl ever and I will never forget you! xxxooo

Edited February 22, 2013 by WendyH

[MelodysMum]

The joy that was Brightleaf Brianna.

[julesluvscavs]

Beautiful and very touching tribute for Brianna, Wendy

She had a wonderful, loving and happy life with you and your family. She will never be far from your heart. RIP sweet Brianna

Thinking of you all at such a very sad and heartbreaking time xoxoox

[Miss Danni]

That is truely beautiful Wendy, Brianna was clearly a very special little dog. Just know that she is still with you, which is why you still see her and hear her.

Hugs to you and your family.

[HazyWal]

So sorry for the loss of your beautiful Brianna

Thank you for sharing a wonderful tribute and photos of your much loved baby girl

[Vehs]

such a pretty girl

[Katdogs]

Such wonderful photos and memories you have of your lovely girl.

RIP Brianna, job well done.

[stellnme]

Sleep well, beautiful Brianna - it is very clear you were deeply loved. Hold on to the lovely memories, WendyH, they will make you smile in times to come.

[poochmad]

She obviously meant so much to you and your heartfelt words brought tears to my eyes.

Thinking of you and your family in this difficult time.

RIP Brianna.

[~Anne~]

I'm so sorry Wendy. She was gorgeous.

[~Rumour~]

I'm sorry for your loss Wendy, I loved shopping for her for SS

You have so many wonderful memories of your beautiful girl.

RIP Brianna

[Kavik]

I am so sorry to hear this

[Gretel]

Oh no I am so sorry such a lovely tribute and pics.

[tlc]

Wendy you have me in tears again. Such a beautiful girl gone way too soon. You know I have been thinking of you everyday!

It's evident and always has been since I first met you through DOL and facebook how much Brianna meant to you and your family!

A lovely tribute to your girl Wendy, Cockers are very special dogs.

[Cazstaff]

Oh Wendy , what a beautiful tribute to Brianna and such gorgeous photo's. I am heartbroken for you and your family and have been thinking of you and sending you strength everyday.

Rest in peace pretty Brightleaf Brianna, you and Buddy take care of each other :rainbowbridge:

[Ons]

a beautiful tribute for a beautiful dog

I'm so sorry for your loss

Rest in Peace Brianna, run free at Rainbow Bridge

[Her Majesty Dogmad]

What a beautiful and special girl, what a terrible loss and far too early. Hugs to you, be kind to yourself and give yourself some time. Hugs to you and the family.

[Guest Clover]

my heart sank when I saw this Wendy. I am sorry .

Rip Brianna .

[juice]

So sorry wendy

[schnauzer]

Such a beautiful tribute to your heart dog Brianna.

RIP gorgeous angel