nawnim Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 (edited) I am desperately asking for help with my dog. Lottie is five and is a schnauzer /terrier /working dog mix. My cat died about a month ago and my dog is missing him and making it harder for me. The cat was eleven so I suppose she has never known life without him, other than when she was a pup. My other dog is not phased by the drama at all. Lottie constantly goes to the window where the cat door is and waits for the cat (Michael) to come home. Last night she was at the front door telling me he was out there as she used to do. The result is that I keep hearing him miaowing to be let in or I see him at the window. Last night I even woke up in the middle of the night thinking I heard him at the door. I have scrubbed and cleaned my whole house trying to remove any scents that might remind her. I don't know what else to do other than to move house. Does anyone know of any herbal remedies for a grieving dog? I once used Rescue remedy for both me and my dog (a different dog) at an obedience trial. I don't really think it made much difference. Any help appreciated. Thankyou Edited October 29, 2012 by nawnim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Staff'n'Mutt Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 I'm sorry for your loss and that your boy is missing his friend. I babysit my mum's dog for her, after Sami passed away Ralph spent days looking for her he still does the rounds of their fav hidey spots in the yard. I don't know of any medication other than time to make it better. Hard isn't it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purdie Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 I am desperately asking for help with my dog. Lottie is five and is a schnauzer /terrier /working dog mix. My cat died about a month ago and my dog is missing him and making it harder for me. The cat was eleven so I suppose she has never known life without him, other than when she was a pup. My other dog is not phased by the drama at all. Lottie constantly goes to the window where the cat door is and waits for the cat (Michael) to come home. Last night she was at the front door telling me he was out there as she used to do. The result is that I keep hearing him miaowing to be let in or I see him at the window. Last night I even woke up in the middle of the night thinking I heard him at the door. I have scrubbed and cleaned my whole house trying to remove any scents that might remind her. I don't know what else to do other than to move house. Does anyone know of any herbal remedies for a grieving dog? I once used Rescue remedy for both me and my dog (a different dog) at an obedience trial. I don't really think it made much difference. Any help appreciated. Thankyou Sorry for the loss of your Cat Michael.When we lost our dog i felt her still around for a long time and swear i heard her little noises that she made and the door would rattle like when she knocked to come in and i would have to go and check even though i new she was gone.It will take time but as the weeks go by it will get a little easier for both of you. Perhaps when you feel ready you could get a cat from rescue or shelter that likes dogs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loving my Oldies Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 My deepest sympathies for your loss and for poor little Lottie. Seeing one of our pets grieving just compounds our own grief because we don't know how to help them. You won't erradicate the scent of Michael so please don't go through the trauma of moving unless, of course, you were planning to do so. Only once have I experienced having a dog inconsolable over the death of another and it was something I don't want to see again. It was dreadful. The only thing that helped was time and I adopted another dog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nawnim Posted October 4, 2012 Author Share Posted October 4, 2012 Thankyou for the supportive posts. Another cat is not really an option because my granddaughter is allergic. Once when I had two dogs and one died the surviving dog kept looking too and I ended up getting another dog. It is not a good reason to get a dog. If only I could stop her looking for him. It reminds me of all the dogs and cats and people I have lost, and sadly I am missing them all ATM. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teebs Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 I wish you lived near me. I have an 11 year old cat badly grieving for my dog I lost a few months ago We could hook them up for play dates and see if it helped them both Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dogsfevr Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 It takes time for everyone but you need to stick to what is normal & when the dog starts looking distract him with something else . You will hear noises & the likes for many months more & the dogs are creatures of habit but things do change but sometimes we need to assist . Moving unless already planned will be just as stressful anyway . My special boy has been gone for nearly 4 months & i still hear his barks & i find it comforting to now i still remember his special tones & now at some point i will no longer hear it after all 12 yrs of daily life just doesn't stop that day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mita Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 I understand what you & Lottie are going thro'. One of our 2 tibbie girls died suddenly at home because of a medical error. After a week, the other girl, Angel, started to lie for hours at the side gate waiting for her 'sister' to come back. The pet cremation people had taken her body out that gate. When upstairs with the door closed, she'd lie for hours looking under the door. I took her to get the vet's advice. While we were talking in the examination room, Angel lay looking under the door. The vet said most dogs get over their grief after 3 weeks so don't take any notice... just routine as usual. Except Angel didn't get over this behaviour for a couple of months. Then it changed into crying... a real keening sound...whenever she was home alone. It was heartbreaking to hear. Tried all the things for separation anxiety, as well as medication, but they make no difference. The one thing that's was different from Lottie, is that Angel was 13 years going on 14. Lottie is much younger and may have more flexibility in coping. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nawnim Posted October 4, 2012 Author Share Posted October 4, 2012 I understand what you & Lottie are going thro'. One of our 2 tibbie girls died suddenly at home because of a medical error. After a week, the other girl, Angel, started to lie for hours at the side gate waiting for her 'sister' to come back. The pet cremation people had taken her body out that gate. When upstairs with the door closed, she'd lie for hours looking under the door. I took her to get the vet's advice. While we were talking in the examination room, Angel lay looking under the door. The vet said most dogs get over their grief after 3 weeks so don't take any notice... just routine as usual. Except Angel didn't get over this behaviour for a couple of months. Then it changed into crying... a real keening sound...whenever she was home alone. It was heartbreaking to hear. Tried all the things for separation anxiety, as well as medication, but they make no difference. The one thing that's was different from Lottie, is that Angel was 13 years going on 14. Lottie is much younger and may have more flexibility in coping. Thankyou Mita. Sorry about your dog, This is helpful. You are right. Lottie is younger and perhaps I can still distract her with some more training or something. I could teach her to go and sit on a chair which would be away from the door and then reward her and make a big fuss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BC Crazy Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 (edited) So sorry for your loss & how it has impacted on poor Lottie I think a little training is a great idea of mita's or teach maybe a couple of new tricks. Keep lotties mind occupied & the big fuss when we are done. Edited October 4, 2012 by BC Crazy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mita Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 [ Thankyou Mita. Sorry about your dog, This is helpful. You are right. Lottie is younger and perhaps I can still distract her with some more training or something. I could teach her to go and sit on a chair which would be away from the door and then reward her and make a big fuss. Padraic, looking back the one thing I'd have done differently was not to take the vet's advice that most dogs get over it, after 3 weeks or so and to just ignore. When I did that, the watching and waiting behaviours just grew into habits that eventually after a couple of months grew into something worse.... heartbreaking crying (not barking) for hours on end when left alone. That nothing, medication or training, could stop. So I wish I'd asked a good behaviourist for some training ideas right from the beginning, like the kind of gentle diversions and rewards you're thinking of. Lottie, being so much younger, would be more flexible in being coaxed away. Best wishes! Let's know how you get on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nawnim Posted October 29, 2012 Author Share Posted October 29, 2012 (edited) . Edited October 29, 2012 by nawnim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Her Majesty Dogmad Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 I find Rescue Remedy does help - you can administer as many times as you like and for me, when I'm grieving I take it every couple of hours, try that with poor Lottie. Chinese herbs are another option, they are fantastic. Spend more time with her, take her out more often for long walks and play with her etc. but taking extra time than you normally would to support her through this time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nawnim Posted October 29, 2012 Author Share Posted October 29, 2012 Thankyou Dogmad and Snook and the earlier posters. I did delete my recent post because no-one seemed interested. My grieving girl has had an epileptic seizure (her second) and I am so worried about her. I keep watching her for signs of another. She has a vet's appointment on Friday. I love her so much. Also her pathetic owner is facing her own medical crisis and is doing the rounds of brain MRIs etc because the benign brain tumour that was removed ten years ago looks as if it is growing again. I find DOL so stressful and I will be trying very hard not to post again. So thankyou to those who have shown interest and given support. nawnim (formerly padraic) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persephone Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 padraic.. I am so sorry that you now have your own health to worry about as well as lottie ... a guinea pig pair in a dog proof hutch may provide something for Lottie to investigate ..some novelty ..sight/sound/scent are all there :) Lots of Rescue Remedy and also perhaps some kinesiology for you . to assist in assimilating all this ....and maybe someone like THIS for Lottie. be kind to yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiverStar-Aura Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 Well said Snook. I've no experience in any of these situations so have no advice to give. My thoughts are with you and poor Lottie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pollywaffle Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 I didn't reply initially Naiwin, because I have not experienced this situation. Fortunately my two are both youngish and of a similar age. That said, I was saddened to hear that you felt there was little interest in your predicament. I wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and your poor little girl and can only hope that time will assist..that's what they say anyway. My best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayla1 Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 What an awful time for you. I really hope you have some support from family or friends, and that they can help you through this difficult time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
disintegratus Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 I'm sorry for such an awful, difficult time in your life. I don't have much experience dealing with grieving dogs, but I do have experience with other pets grieving. Completely different animal I know, but when I had a pair of rats and one passed, the other was inconsolable for months, and began to stress out terribly. She began to run on her wheel for a minimum of 10-12 hours a day. I had not initially planned to get another rat, but when I saw her continued stress and grieving behaviour, I felt I had to so she wouldnt stress herself to death, but then I had to wait for another month because the rescue rat I had picked out turned out to be pregnant, so I had to wait until her pups were weaned. Almost as soon as she had a companion, the behaviour stopped, and she went back to normal. I don't think you should force another dog or cat, that will happen when you are ready, but perhaps playdates or even sleepovers with a dog/s your boy is familiar with might help to take her mind off it? Another question though, did you show Lottie the body of the deceased cat and allow her to take in the death? I have found this does help a huge amount with most animals, that way they are aware of what has happened, and don't think their friend has just suddenly dissappeared. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nawnim Posted April 23, 2013 Author Share Posted April 23, 2013 Hi All I hope it's okay to drag up an old topic but I have just reread it and I was again grateful for the kind posts and I just thought I would let people know how my little dog is. I also thought it might be useful for others with grieving dogs, and dogs having seizures. It is now seven months since Michael the cat died and Lottie the dog seems to have put it all behind her, and she has had no more seizures. :) I have given her something else to think about by taking her back to obedience classes and we have been doing Rally O but not for trialling, just for fun. I have also changed her routine and environment slightly by having the cat door removed from the window which was where she would stand all day just waiting for him to come home. So time, new training, and a change of routine are what has helped us. Thanks for your support Nawnim (Padraic) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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