Talk Me Out Of It

[Clyde]

1347231641[/url]' post='5954224']

thanks Clyde... i have been talking to a lot of new mums (friends) who have babies, one has a puppy and said no dont do it... but the others have all said how bored they are at home when bubs is sleeping.

We will be looking at having another baby probably 12-18 months after our first.

Damn, can i borrow someones new born for a few weeks, see if i really can do it before making my mind up? :laugh:

Yeah, it's a tough decision. I don't know if I would do it. Better to be twiddling your thumbs, than tearing your hair out. Plus mine was an 'easy' baby, slept loads etc etc. You need to be prepared that you might have difficulties and not cope with a pup when you need to concentrate on a baby who is not feeding/sleeping etc. But on the other hand, most peoples dogs do get pushed to the back burner a little when they have babies - despite best intentions and it might be nice for Kaos to have a friend during this time. I found my dogs spent more time outside for a year or so as it was just too tricky having them all inside 24/7 while baby was so tiny. Things like putting all dogs outside when you go to wee as you can't leave baby for one second with dogs in the house etc etc. I'm not much help am I? Sorry, it's a tough one, pros and cons. I think probably because you are wanting a bully breed I would err towards waiting. If it was a much less demanding breed then things might be different.

Edited September 10, 2012 by Clyde

[dee lee]

Don't do it!!

Too many variables with babies (& pups!).

You may have a lot of time on your hands OR you may find yourself struggling. No way to know until bub is born.

Personally, I was never bored when my kids were babies, I was exhausted & emotionally drained in ways I had not foreseen. Having a pup would have been hell.

Why make life harder that it needs to be at this special time? My advice would be to give yourself a chance to get used to being a mum, before you have to split your time & energy between a baby and a pup. Another pup will come along in the future. :)

[Guest Willow]

thanks Clyde... i have been talking to a lot of new mums (friends) who have babies, one has a puppy and said no dont do it... but the others have all said how bored they are at home when bubs is sleeping.

We will be looking at having another baby probably 12-18 months after our first.

Damn, can i borrow someones new born for a few weeks, see if i really can do it before making my mind up? :laugh:

Throwing my 2 cents worth in....don't do it!!!! Probably could have coped after my first baby, she was easy. I've got 18 months between my kids, and it is BUSY.....I wouldn't want to be dealing with an adolescent dog, or a puppy now....I just wouldn't have the time required for training etc.

In feb you'll have a baby, then few months down the track you'll have a crawler who grabs fistfulls of everything and is everywhere all at once, and then a walker who is wobbling and bumping into everything....that plus a energetic young dog are a pretty bad combo IMO....

That's just me though....I do know of people who have got puppies whilst pregnant, or when their babies are very young, and it's worked out just fine.

[ellz]

I do agree with Clyde, particularly the bull breed bit. They're more "needy" of humans and you know how naughty they can get if they don't get what they think they need, when they think they need it.

If you're going to base it on "ease" of child. Having now had 3 children and bred/owned/exhibited dogs for 26 years I'd say that my firstborn, despite being a terrible "chucker" (horrific reflux) spoiled me for those to follow. He was easy going and despite being my first, I managed to parent, work full time and still breed, groom and show long-coated dogs. How, I still don't know to this day but my ex was pretty obliging and we did manage.

The second broke me and was so much work and so full on that I honestly wished I had NO dogs when I had him and he was born at a time when we only had one. The last (15 months after the second), whilst marginally easier than the second was nowhere as easy-going as the first but I'd gone back up to two dogs (stupid me) by then. Whilst I was lucky they were older and more settled in their place in the home and lives, it was still tough to juggle everything.

[Teebs]

thanks everyone :)

Thats another issue. Kaos is so easy, she knows when she is inside and kids are here to sit on her bed, but is just as happy sitting in the back yard in the sun.

As for walking and training, as long as she is with me she would be happy to do neither, and if she does need to go out a trip in the car is just as good as a walk for her.

I know she will be great with a baby (i was actually worried about Atlas, i wonder if him passing away was because of someone/thing knowing that he wouldnt cope and it was the best thing..? )

but then i think as above. If things dont go well and kaos is chucked to the side and backyard while we get settled, at least she would have a friend. ( as much as i dont want this to happen, I do know and understand things dont always go to plan)

Damn this :laugh:

Think i might have to go with my head over this one, there will always be puppies around and i think i would rather regret not getting one, over regretting getting one

[Guest Willow]

The second broke me and was so much work and so full on that I honestly wished I had NO dogs when I had him

I had this thought many times in the first six months of having my second!!!!

thanks everyone :)

Thats another issue. Kaos is so easy, she knows when she is inside and kids are here to sit on her bed, but is just as happy sitting in the back yard in the sun.

As for walking and training, as long as she is with me she would be happy to do neither, and if she does need to go out a trip in the car is just as good as a walk for her.

You just described my Jarrah :). He is very very good around the kids, and happy to go with the flow....it makes life a LOT easier.

[megan_]

Don't do it!!

Too many variables with babies (& pups!).

You may have a lot of time on your hands OR you may find yourself struggling. No way to know until bub is born.

Personally, I was never bored when my kids were babies, I was exhausted & emotionally drained in ways I had not foreseen. Having a pup would have been hell.

Why make life harder that it needs to be at this special time? My advice would be to give yourself a chance to get used to being a mum, before you have to split your time & energy between a baby and a pup. Another pup will come along in the future. :)

I agree. It might work out well but it might not. You might be sleep deprived, coping with a baby with colic and suffering from PND all at the same time. Add a puppy and that would be hell.

If you get a pup now and things don't work out it will be bad for both you and the pup. If you wait there is no downside other than you don't get a puppy now. There will always be another puppy.

I would looove to have a puppy now. I can afford it, have the space, there is a breeder who has dogs I adore coming up in December etc etc, BUT I know in my head that now isn't the right time.

[dee lee]

Teebs, if Kaos is as easy as you say, then you won't chuck her outside. :)

She sounds like she will be the perfect new mum companion.

But a puppy will be a different kettle of fish. It will be necessary to lock it out regularly when tending your baby. Do you really want to start off puppy training distracted & not giving it your full attention? We all know how important the early months are.

[jazzie]

Hi there. I did get a puppy when i was pregnant Thinking puppy with baby no problems. I have three other children all at school so i figured it would be a great time to add the puppy with being at home and when bubs slept i had plenty of time for training. How wrong was i

I know my story is completely a rare case but can happen to anyone (but i wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy). I was placed on strict bedrest from early on due to my waters braking. My son was born at 26 weeks gestation. So then with three other kids in tow and a big german shepherd pup we had to stay 3 .5 hours away from home and endure a 4 month NICU stay. We were lucky to have somewhere to stay where we could take our boy with us but NICU left not much time for anything.

So if your looking at reasons not to get one and wait til bubs is here There is one for you

[Meea]

Ok my 1 cent worth

I have NEVER found the right time. Finances, renovations, crappy busy job, crappy busy OH. Etc etc

If you really want this breeding and it is not likely to be repeated - how important is it to you in the grand scheme if life?

Babies can be awkwsrd but it is not for long. Toddlerhood can last much longer and actual childhood is about 15 years!

Is the timing going to get better?

[Dogsfevr]

Look at this option if it doesn't work out are you willing to hand puppy back ??

Are you able to deal with it not going to plan.

[Clyde]

Also another thought.... One dog is so much easier to include in baby stuff. Walking with a pram, beach, car rides etc etc. I found it difficult walking my dogs together with the pram so would alternate days but always felt guilty about the one left behind. One dog can slot in to your 'new life ' a lot more easily. As dee lee said Kaos could stay inside more etc. I think you might feel relieved by only having Kaos down the track.

[tlc]

Teebs, I think your right to go with your gut on this one, I don't know you but from your posts you strike me as a person who gives their all to everything and if you have puppy and a new baby one has to miss out somewhere and I'm betting it won't be the bub. :)

Things could go perfectly smoothly if you did decide to go ahead with the pup you might have a perfect baby and a perfect puppy, but on the other hand what if either is difficult you still have to deal with the other, or worse case scenario Kaos doesn't cope with a puppy.

Scenario, friend of mine got new puppy 5 months into her first pregnancy big plans for training pup etc, it all went out the window once the baby came along. Not saying you would be like that you probly wouldn't but being your first baby you just don't know what to expect.

My 5 cents worth, go with your gut, there will always be other pups. and bub will be old enough to enjoy having a puppy around too.

[Staffyluv]

You are preggers and clucky... Your mind is not your own - it's the hormones.

Borrow a puppy or offer to puppy sit for a week - hopefully all that puppy mess will cure you.

I think you are totally nuts for even thinking that you could deal with everything you have going on and adding a puppy into the mix..

Wait and get the perfect pup at the perfect time.

[hortfurball]

I can't weigh in much from the new mum side, having never been one, but I do know a LOT of dogs come through rescue because people say "Once baby came I just didn't have the time to dedicate to the dog that he/she deserved." I know you won't abandon a pup if you get one now, just pointing out that this suggests it's not all smooth sailing trying to do both.

There is one thing that nobody seems to have covered though - I think it is natural to be desperate for a new puppy after we lose our beloved older dog. Something is missing and we think we can fill that space or distract ourselves from the pain by puppy cuteness. I felt like that and so did my best friend. I didn't give in and so far nor has she. A year later I was ready.

My advice is honestly look at the true reason you want a pup so much now and if it is really mostly you missing Atlas unbearably, then it's too soon. I know it must seem like the stars have aligned with this litter, but there will be another, and the fact that you aren't 100% certain what breed you want says this is not the time.

[becks]

I know you are close with your family and they like the bullbreeds, how much help will they be with pup and baby?

It can be done if you want it enough. My friend got her 2nd Ridgeback a couple of months before she was due and she has 2 super dogs and a well brought up young girl.

[trinabean]

I really don't like to hand out advice as we are all different and individual situations vary so much. However, if it were me I would hold off on getting a puppy right now.

Although you like this particular litter, there will be other litters. I don't want to scare you with terrible new baby stories but my first child was not one that slept much at all (he was quite sick with colic and then gastro-oesophogeal reflux for his first 10 months). I struggled through the days, had a bit of depression and had no family living on this side of the country to help/support me. There is no way I would have been able to manage training a puppy at the same time.

Obviously my story is not everybody's story though. Things may be very different for you (and I hope they are). Good luck with your decision making. :)

[Teebs]

if it came down to it, yes i could hand a dog back. It would be hard, but i would do anything for my dogs and if that was the right thing to do. But if i did get a dog, i dont want to walk into it all thinking "oh, its ok, if it doesnt work out i will just give it back" - to me that is a bad way to look at it and i wont allow myself to.

Family and friends are good, i have a lot of support so no issues with that.

This litter isnt overly important to me (horrible to say hey?) i dont want to breed or show, just that i fell in love with this dog years ago and always wanted a pup, never thought the chance would happen! If it doenst work out, i know there are other dogs just as good.

I have also juggled the one dog at a time thing, Kaos and atlas didnt do well out and about together, so i only took one at a time anyways, the other learned to stay home alone for that time.

I want to get another dog because two works for me, i miss Atlas, but it isnt because of that that i want another one.

[persephone]

Toss a coin .

The one you have your heart in your mouth waiting for, now it's out of your control.... ... well, there's your decision :p

[Animal House]

1347238145[/url]' post='5954388']

You are preggers and clucky... Your mind is not your own - it's the hormones.

Borrow a puppy or offer to puppy sit for a week - hopefully all that puppy mess will cure you.

I think you are totally nuts for even thinking that you could deal with everything you have going on and adding a puppy into the mix..

Wait and get the perfect pup at the perfect time.

^^. This

What if your morning sickness comes back (as it often can).....or you get a baby with problems, not all of them sleep all day, trust me. :laugh:

Can you foster a puppy instead?