teekay Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Oh my heart goes out to you MsDani, this brings back so many memories of having to make this decision for my 5 year old Lab. How do you ever know the time is right? TBH I don't think you do, but you have to make the decision anyway. As a few have said on here, a few days or even months too soon is better than too late. I remember I would go to bed every night fearing the morning. Fearing Holly had died in the night and fearing she hadn't. I so didn't want to have to make the decision. But we did and on the morning she was booked to go to the vets my OH took her for a gentle walk on the beach and then took her to the vets. I was too much of a coward to be there, I wish I had been though, for her and my OH. It hurt like hell when she'd gone but we knew deep down it was right thing to do and given time, the pain fades but the memories remain. I still cry when I think of Holly but they are sort of happy tears for the wonderful memories we have of her, there were many more good times than bad. Hold on to those. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persephone Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 msdani .. at this stage .. give your little dog whatever the heck he wants to eat!! low fat versions of ice cream, salmon, fresh roo , scrambled egg, ..... whatever. It really is now a time to just let him enjoy whatever he can , Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tdierikx Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 I agree to a point but my decision was the most difficult decision I've ever made for the girl I loved beyond words. I love her now as I did when she was with me. Her death can't take the love I have for her away from me. Love transcends death, as a wise friend told me. She was right. I couldn't hold on to Sophie and allow her to suffer needlessly, she was too precious. I still miss her every day, almost 4 years later. I appreciate how lucky I was to share my life with her. She brought so much joy and happiness to my life. I owed it to her to let her go no matter how much emotional pain it caused me. It was about her, not about me. This... T. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BC Crazy Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 I agree to a point but my decision was the most difficult decision I've ever made for the girl I loved beyond words. I love her now as I did when she was with me. Her death can't take the love I have for her away from me. Love transcends death, as a wise friend told me. She was right. I couldn't hold on to Sophie and allow her to suffer needlessly, she was too precious. I still miss her every day, almost 4 years later. I appreciate how lucky I was to share my life with her. She brought so much joy and happiness to my life. I owed it to her to let her go no matter how much emotional pain it caused me. It was about her, not about me. This... T. + 1 here as well. It's been 4 years for me too & I miss him every single day. Love transcends death, I really like & appreciate that thought cavNrott. They are always in your heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persephone Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Love transcends death, I really like & appreciate that thought cavNrott. They are always in your heart. yes .. I think of them often ..esp my two boys, mitchell & kieran :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsDani Posted August 31, 2012 Author Share Posted August 31, 2012 msdani .. at this stage .. give your little dog whatever the heck he wants to eat!!low fat versions of ice cream, salmon, fresh roo , scrambled egg, ..... whatever. It really is now a time to just let him enjoy whatever he can , Yep that's what I've been doing - any thing and everything. He ate half of my chicken kiev last night (minus the sauce and crumbs - most he's eaten in one sitting in weeks) he loved it. But unfortunately he threw it up again this morning - his tummy didn't digest it properly - and because of that, his morning medication came up to. My boss has allowed me to work from home today, so I can be with him, and he has a small amount of Roast Chicken. I also managed to pick up the wet food (low fat one, I couldn't find the one designed for the liver) and also Advanced (I think that's what it's called) chicken and rice one. He did have a lick of it, but that was it. I'll try again tonight. He came to the window and a massive waggy-tail hello was given to me when I walked in. He's now sound asleep in his bed next to me. God this is so hard... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Shepherd mom Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 He had an ultrasound done wednesday week ago and then the one yesterday had already shown it had grown. Has it spread MsDani? At least he sounds fairly happy at the moment - must be all the extra cuddles!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizT Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Some of us are going to get "mobbed" when we get to that rainbow bridge. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsDani Posted August 31, 2012 Author Share Posted August 31, 2012 (edited) WSM - when they did the U/S, both times, it had shown it had grown but wasn't showing anywhere else. The problem is that he's had symptoms of Gastric Ulcer (he was on Metacam for about 2 weeks before that). Just over 2 weeks ago, he had a big bleed which saw him hospitalized over night - and since then he's been in pain and food intake has gone down dramatically. He has lost 1.5kg's in 4 weeks (I know the majority of that has been in the past 2 weeks) he weighed 9kg. The medications I was given for the Gastric Ulcer isn't working. I did have the option of taking him back for the endoscopy - but I don't want to put him through any more tests. Everytime he comes back from testing he declines even more - Xray 2 days later had a major bleed, First U/S he came back home with vomitting and diarrhea (big bacterial infection), 2nd U/S (on Wednesday) he stopped eating and has only started to show more interest in food. ETA - also the U/S from Wednesday showed thickness to the lining of his bowels, which they didn't mention on the first U/S. Edited August 31, 2012 by MsDani Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsDani Posted August 31, 2012 Author Share Posted August 31, 2012 I just spoke to the specialist because he is showing signs he is interested in food, but when he goes to eat it, it's like he's feeling sick and goes and has a drink. Our last ditch effort is that she is calling my local vet so I can get him down there tonight to give him an injection for nausea. If he doesn't eat by tomorrow morning... I can't even type it, let alone say it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persephone Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 If he doesn't eat by tomorrow morning... <br style="color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 17.600000381469727px; background-color: rgb(238, 242, 247); ">I can fill in the blanks, and think that you will be a kind & loving owner , who doesn't want to see her boy suffer with nausea and pain .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dancinbcs Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 I know the decision is hard to make but you are not keeping the dog alive for his sake. If he was mine I would have already made the decision. I have always managed to let my dogs have their wings before they were really suffering except last year when in hindsight I know I was a week too late and should not have let my girl suffer through that last week. She is the only one I have any regrets about letting go and that is because I did it too late. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mita Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 What Persephone said. MsDani, I've been there, and when it's impossibly hard for our pet... I'm thinking of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tdierikx Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 You have my heartfelt sympathies MsDani... it's terribly hard to "get it right" and please everyone... go with your gut, OK? Look into his eyes... what are they telling you? You WILL know when it's his time... As said many times before, just because he's not physically there with you, doesn't mean that he's not very much alive in your heart and soul - where he WILL live forever. I'm not going to tell you that once he's gone (from the physical world) that it won't hurt like you've never hurt before... it will... and it will hurt for a very long time. But as time goes on, you will learn to cope with that loss of the physical, even though it still hurts to not have him there when you need his special kind of love. In all honesty, I still lose the plot when I talk about my heart dog - and I still miss her terribly, even though she went to the Bridge in 2004. I don't think I will ever grieve for any human the way I will always grieve for that dog. You are among people here who can fully understand your pain... and we also understand your indecison right now too. T. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cavNrott Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 You have my heartfelt sympathies MsDani... it's terribly hard to "get it right" and please everyone... go with your gut, OK? Look into his eyes... what are they telling you? You WILL know when it's his time... As said many times before, just because he's not physically there with you, doesn't mean that he's not very much alive in your heart and soul - where he WILL live forever. I'm not going to tell you that once he's gone (from the physical world) that it won't hurt like you've never hurt before... it will... and it will hurt for a very long time. But as time goes on, you will learn to cope with that loss of the physical, even though it still hurts to not have him there when you need his special kind of love. In all honesty, I still lose the plot when I talk about my heart dog - and I still miss her terribly, even though she went to the Bridge in 2004. I don't think I will ever grieve for any human the way I will always grieve for that dog. You are among people here who can fully understand your pain... and we also understand your indecison right now too. T. So true tdierikx. I don't talk about Sophie now. I can type my words but talking about her brings tears. I'll never grieve for anyone the way I grieve for my girl I lost 4 years ago. It will be her 4 year anniversary in 12 days. I have her story in amongst the Unwell Rottie thread in palliative care but I don't go there to read it. I would live it again if I read it. It took me quite some time to learn to live without her and I miss her every day. MsDani, we really do understand. This is about your beloved boy and you have a very important decision to make. Your love for him will guide you. As long as you have his welfare at heart you will do right by him even though it will cause you much emotional pain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bundyburger Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 I would rather go too early then a second too late. I have been that second too late and it's awful and it haunts me still. Me too, when I was a child. My beautiful companion and best friend of 16 years was given her wings 2 weeks ago. She was fit and healthy until she just went downhill. In 24hs she went from fit and healthy to being on deaths door. 3 days later she was gone. I saw her the day before, she hung in for me so I could see her. I took one look at her and just knew, they really honestly DO tell you, I really thought she wouldn't but she did. The next morning I tucked her coat around her as she lay curled up in her bed at the vets unable to walk or stand. She leant forward and licked my nose just once and burrowed into my arms like she always did for cuddles. That was the first and last acknowlegement she gave me that she knew I was there, and I have some beautiful last memories.. It was by far the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and I will never ever forget it, but I know in my heart it was the best thing for my beautiful girl. EVen now I question my decision, but keep reminding myself even though I miss her desperately, it was time for her to leave. Knowing what you need to do, and actually doing it is so incredibly hard, but as so many people said to me, you have to focus on the wonderful amazing years you had together and not focus on the sad stuff. I'm currently wearing my girl's collar tag on a chain, I'll get a proper memorial pendant made up as soon as I have the strength to look through all my photos. I know this is probably waffling but it's so close to my heart right now and I'm struggling to see through my tears. Trust in yourself, and in your relationship with your boy that you will make the right choice for him tomorrow. Thinking of you xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsDani Posted August 31, 2012 Author Share Posted August 31, 2012 (edited) go with your gut, OK? Look into his eyes... what are they telling you? You WILL know when it's his time... This is what's making it soooo much harder, he's not showing me any 'signs' - if only he would I know what I have to do, but because he's not showing me anything, it's like I'm forcing him when he's not ready. ETA: he ate last night, and was so comfortable. Edited August 31, 2012 by MsDani Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canine fun sports Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 go with your gut, OK? Look into his eyes... what are they telling you? You WILL know when it's his time... This is what's making it soooo much harder, he's not showing me any 'signs' - if only he would I know what I have to do, but because he's not showing me anything, it's like I'm forcing him when he's not ready. ETA: he ate last night, and was so comfortable. My advice is that if you wait until those "eyes are telling you" then you may have left it a little too long. Do not wait until his life is totally miserable. A number of people have said, and I agree that very few people choose a time that is too early, but it is easy to wait until it is too late. If you have vomiting, and on those occasions he does not want to eat, he is feeling like he has a shocking hangover. I do not think it is fair to let him live like that. He is well and truly into that grey area that I spoke of in an earlier post, so for his sake, do not let it go to dark grey/black. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JulesP Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 I think you will see a sign MsDani because of your dog's condition. It might be very soon now or it might be a week away. With both of my older dogs it was unmistakable. I did have a close friend help me the second time because I was concerned I wouldn't see because I didn't want her to go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsDani Posted August 31, 2012 Author Share Posted August 31, 2012 It is wrong to do it because I'm not coping? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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