Bundyburger Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 Grieve as much as you need to, it may not ever go away but it does get easier. He is free of pain which is the best gift you can give him, and you'll never forget him either. Big hugs from me, I was thinking of you all day today My girl who left 2 weeks ago today will be showing him the way :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsDani Posted September 1, 2012 Author Share Posted September 1, 2012 I wanted to come on and thank each and everyone one of you for you words and thoughts. I just read through my posts and it seemed like such a quick decision - but I knew when I made the decision it HAD to happen, or I would have backed out. As you are aware I was really struggling with the decision, I was up since 4am coming to terms with it. I knew I had to do it - and you all helped me with the feeling of guilt I was struggling with! When he ate last night, the only thing he would eat was his favourite chicken necks, only one, and he loved it. But when he woke up this morning and was wobbly and then groaning with pain, that confirmed it for me - His favourite food, and the only thing he wanted to eat, was hurting him. I gave him his pain medication and he became comfortable again - which made my decision even harder. When the pain medication kicks in, it is so easy to slip into denial! I just had to write that down, because I know I'm going to 'question' what I did today (it's only natural?) - and I need this to remind me that I couldn't do anymore for him - that if I kept him here longer, each day was going to get worse and worse for him! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k9angel Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 The pain is starting to set in now! You done the right thing for your boy MsDani, he is at peace now, no more pain or suffering. I know it might not seem like it now, but in time you will be able to think of him and be able to smile without crying. My thoughts are with you, take care. R.I.P. Boy. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persephone Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 Ms dani .. writing that post was a fantastic thing to do .. you will read back, as you question and ask "why" & 'what if' .... that is very normal ... and a part of it all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coogie Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 So sorry for your loss MsDani, I think you made a very selfless and brave decision for your boy. Hugs to you, and wishing you strength for the coming days. "We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own, live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached. 
Unable to accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way. 
We cherish memory as the only certain immortality, 
never fully understanding the necessary plan." Irving Townsend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Gifts Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 I've been through this three times in my life now. The last one (just over 12 months ago) had me questioning if I had done it too early but the risk to my girl of leaving another day, week or month was too great. We never have them for long enough. Enjoy your memories and have no regrets about doing what needed to be done for your boy. Loving them means also being willing to let them go when their time has come. Big hugs to you - there are a lot of us who know what you are going through. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsDani Posted September 1, 2012 Author Share Posted September 1, 2012 "We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own, live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached. 
Unable to accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way. 
We cherish memory as the only certain immortality, 
never fully understanding the necessary plan." Irving Townsend. Thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stellnme Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 Coogie, I used that little piece when my old girl passed some years ago. I wrote the story of her life with us and that was my quote. This, many years later, has brought tears to my eyes to see it written again. Beautiful quote, it helped me then and I hope it helps you now, MsDani. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steph M Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 I am so so sorry, but I am sure he's still hanging around in some way, shape or form. They don't ever really leave, I think. They come and say hello when you least expect it! I bet he's young, fit and full of beans again, and will be ecstatic to feel better. I wish with all my heart no one had to go through it, it's the worst thing, but also the loveliest thing we can do for them in the end, I quite wish if I were to get old and sick I could be lucky enough to drift off being cuddled and surrounded by love on my own terms! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HazyWal Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 MsDani I have been following this thread and everytime I went to post I didn't know what to say...I still don't When I gave my old boy his wings it was because I promised him I wouldn't keep him alive for ME. I'm so terribly sorry for your loss, until you meet again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katdogs Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 So sorry MsD. Your house will be too still and quiet. But you will never lose the love. It's amazing how big your heart can stretch to hold the happy and sad, but the happy is why we do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teekay Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 MsDani, there are no words to ease your pain. I'm so sorry these decisions have to be made. I'm so sorry we can't have our dogs with us for all our lives but know that our memories will be. once again. I wish there was more I could do, wish there was some way to let you know it will be alright. You will get through this and there will be a time when you can look back at the happy memories. take care of yourself and your partner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tara and Sam Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 So sorry for the pain you are suffering Run Free Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ESCS Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 I am so sorry for your loss and the pain and suffering you are going through. May you find some peace in your memories of him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tdierikx Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 MsDani... please remember that your boy is only not with you now in the physical sense. He will always live strong, healthy, and loyal in your heart and soul. Let your grief right now take you wherever it needs to take you. Those of us who have been through the same thing can understand exactly the kind of pain you are now feeling - and while it will never stop hurting right down to your very core when you remember and miss him, you will find that time does make it easier to handle. Your boy is in mighty fine company at the Bridge, OK? He is now happy and healthy, and will be waiting patiently there for you until you join him. Huge hugs for you and yours from me and mine... T. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsDani Posted September 1, 2012 Author Share Posted September 1, 2012 I'm sooo tired. Please tell me I will eventually be able to sleep and 'not see' yesterday? Please tell me the guilt I feel will ease and I will stop questioning everything? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persephone Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 I'm sooo tired. Please tell me I will eventually be able to sleep and 'not see' yesterday? Please tell me the guilt I feel will ease and I will stop questioning everything? it may take a long time ..but it will . Guilt is all part of it ..but do not feel guilty for that last vet trip. That one was simply you carrying out your responsibility ..and you did not 'betray' him . It's not even 24 hrs yet..the wound is very very raw . be kind to yourself ... and allow time and caring heal you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tdierikx Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 I'm sooo tired. Please tell me I will eventually be able to sleep and 'not see' yesterday? Please tell me the guilt I feel will ease and I will stop questioning everything? What you are feeling is perfectly normal MsDani - it's called grief... and it will become easier to bear in time, OK? T. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coogie Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 Thinking of you today Ms Dani, it's hard to give advice because everyone grieves differently and goes through the different stages at different times. I found the next day the hardest,I am guessing it's because I was no longer totally focussed on my boy and the decision so there was time for all the "what ifs" and regrets to creep in. I still "see" Toby's last day but with the perspective of time and having worked through the grieving process I see it in a very different light to the days following, and have come to accept it was the only option and a kindness for him. I can think of the good times now and focus on them. I was very lucky as at the time I had people near who understood so never had to hide my grief. When you can face it (and if you think it would help) have a look at the Pet Loss site, there are a number of articles that might help in some way, including the following on guilt. Breaking the Power of Guilt Take care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canine fun sports Posted September 2, 2012 Share Posted September 2, 2012 No reason for guilt. You took away his pain. that was the right thing to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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