I Need Help...

[mita]

It's such a hard time for you. And I've been there, myself.

Best advice that has carried me thro', came from 2 different vets.

One said that the bottom line is what is best for our dog's best interests, not for ours. So if there's considerable pain or distress which has no hope of getting better, our dog's best interest is to provide peace and no more suffering.

The other said, about his own much loved pets, he'd never regretted that he'd had one given eternal peace too soon. BUT he'd regretted in a couple of cases that he'd not done it soon enough.

I've found it can help if you have a vet (or a mobile vet) who will come to the home, so our pet is in a familiar place surrounded by the people who love him/her.

My thoughts are with you as you make your decision.

[W Sibs]

[cavNrott]

The decision is easy for me ,i love my dog more than my own needs.

As much as it breaks my heart & i deal better knowing i have done the right thing .

But the decision is solely yours .

I agree to a point but my decision was the most difficult decision I've ever made for the girl I loved beyond words. I love her now as I did when she was with me. Her death can't take the love I have for her away from me. Love transcends death, as a wise friend told me. She was right.

I couldn't hold on to Sophie and allow her to suffer needlessly, she was too precious. I still miss her every day, almost 4 years later. I appreciate how lucky I was to share my life with her. She brought so much joy and happiness to my life. I owed it to her to let her go no matter how much emotional pain it caused me. It was about her, not about me.

Edited August 30, 2012 by cavNrott

[BC Crazy]

My heart goes out to you at this most difficult time. I was in this very same position 4 years, feels like yesterday, when I had to let my beautiful heart dog, Redman go

He had been ill for about 6 months & this particular morning he turned & looked right into my eye's & then I noticed that his eye's had lost their shine & it was like his soul had gone.

They were kind of dull, he had had enough. I agree with Ams here as well.

Nobody can tell you when the time is right. Only you really know your dog. All I can say is that you have to remove your feeling"s from this picture & ask yourself, Does you dog still have quality of life?

Is he still happy in himself & aware of his surrounding? Is he is pain constantly? e.t.c If the answer is no to most of these, there lays your answer. You have to be strong & let him go with dignity.

Remember he will never be far away because he will always be in your heart.

Thought's are with you. Take care.

[Tassie]

Such a hard time.

CFS - that is such a helpful post - think it deserves to be pinned. Thank you - to be honest, I don't know how you vets go through it time and again with clients - but thank you and all the other wonderful, empathetic vets and vet nurses out there. You make a horrible time that little bit less horrible.

[White Shepherd mom]

I'm so sorry about what you and your beloved dog are going through Ms Dani. I have no advice to give you as this decision is yours alone to make. I can only tell you that my beautiful girl, Bella, was diagnosed with subcutaneous haemangiosarcoma 4 months ago. She had two tumours removed from her back and the oncologist was certain he would find more on her organs. All it took was an ultrasound to tell us her organs were all clear. This was the information I needed to make a decision on how to proceed. Had the tumours been in her organs, the oncologist told me we would lose her within 6 months without chemo. I decided before doing the ultrasound that I would not put her through that and would let her live her days on her terms until she was ready to go. Now, she is on a home chemo drug, cyclophosphamide, which is meant to stop new tumours from appearing and she is doing great.

All I'm saying is, I would not be able to make a decision without the facts. An ultrasound will tell you what you are dealing with. If the tumours are only on his liver your decision might be different to if they have grown elsewhere. I have not read your other posts so don't know how old your dog is or what else he has gone through.

My thoughts are with you, whatever you decide.

[mita]

He had been ill for about 6 months & this particular morning he turned & looked right into my eye's & then I noticed that his eye's had lost their shine & it was like his soul had gone.

They were kind of dull, he had had enough.

That was so like our Sheltie, Shelley. She'd been very gradually deteriorating... but then came a look in her eyes. The essence that was Shelley was dimmed. It was so hard, but I then knew.

Very true, too, that when they are given their wings, they stay always in our minds and forever in our hearts.

[MsDani]

I just wanted to come back on and say thank you to each and everyone of you. I have been on a couple of times today, just reading, coming to terms with it all.

He's had a pain free day today, he been quite relaxed and comfortable, now that he's been given the pain medication! He's been following me around, we went for a walk (though it broke my heart that he didn't get far at all) and we've been sitting in the sun or laying on the couch for most of the day. Alot of tears from me.

My partner and I spoke about it, he wanted us to have a week with him (only if he wasn't in pain and started eating more) but, even though he was comfortable and relaxed today, he still wasn't showing any real interest in food. He's lost enough weight over the past 4 weeks, I can't allow that to happen to him.

[JulesP]

The not eating is usually the final confirmation for me that it is time.

Hugs MsDani.

[Rebanne]

Hugs to you all

[k9angel]

I am so sorry MsDani.

[kayla1]

He had been ill for about 6 months & this particular morning he turned & looked right into my eye's & then I noticed that his eye's had lost their shine & it was like his soul had gone.

They were kind of dull, he had had enough.

That was so like our Sheltie, Shelley. She'd been very gradually deteriorating... but then came a look in her eyes. The essence that was Shelley was dimmed. It was so hard, but I then knew.

Very true, too, that when they are given their wings, they stay always in our minds and forever in our hearts.

Yes I remember the same look in the eyes of my siamese Sam many years ago, and I knew it was time.

Thinking of you MsDani.

[Katdogs]

A couple of weeks ago my little Maggot SWF couldn't get up the steps to eat BBQ chicken, and gave me the look I'd been waiting for, and then I just knew. It was a combination of resignation, patience, asking for help, and an other-worldliness that couldn't be mistaken.

Sometimes the thinking about it and dreading it is worse than the time of passing itself. With Maggot, I'd been expecting a crisis or decision-point for two years. When it came to his time though, after a mint slice and tummy-rubs in the sun and a rousing bark at the puppy in reception, I could feel his pain drain away under my hands, and knew he was at peace.

My OH feels it more than me. I think it's because I overthink it and worry about it and talk about it beforehand. He puts it all off and doesn't want to know about procedures or the technical aspects, then tries to deal with it in a big lump that can be hard to swallow. Look out for your partner, he may find it difficult to talk.

Hugs for this terrible time for you all.

[Dogsfevr]

If your both happy to discuss your options discuss now what you want down with your dog,do you want bury,cremate .

It may seem awful but often easier to plan this before the time comes & having contacts numbers ready or deciding where to bury.

For me all mine are cremated until such time i feel i can let them go fully,some we have spread in there favourite spots but this is often many years later when where ready.

If you wish to bury & i really don't want this to come out sounding horrible but digging the hole may be hard depending on your soil & become a task that truly is heart breaking so maybe a good friend can be called on or maybe through religious or other beliefs you have a different option.

We have great people we use .

Sadly we had to use them 6 weeks ago with my pride & joy

[MsDani]

I did the whole panick thing tonight - 'what if they can fix his tummy problems - then we can have him a little bit longer' etc etc

But I know that if they could fix his tummy problems, it would have been fixed by now with all the medication. I know he's not responding to it, hasn't been responding to it, that is why we had the specialist appointment. If by some miracle the tummy problems correct themselves, it's only a matter of time before the cancer in his liver takes hold. He had an ultrasound done wednesday week ago and then the one yesterday had already shown it had grown.

It's also heartbreaking atm as he comes running if he can't see me. He's ok with DP for a little bit, but then comes looking for me.

[Simply Grand]

Oh dani, you are in such a tough situation, where there still seems to be a chance of survival, but sadly it's unlikely long term.

Reading everyone's posts about how they change, lose the light in their eyes or the essence of themselves definitely rings true with my Choppy, I just knew it was time for her.

Also dani, she was always a prickly girl (well since I acquired her at age 7) and not very affectionate but in her last two days the only time she relaxed was when I was holding her - I think when it came down to it I was the one she loved and was the one who gave her comfort - it makes me cry now but also feel happy that she had that. Embrace it with your boy xx

[JulesP]

MsDani have you tried feeding Hills Prescription L/D food. It is for dogs that have liver issues. It isn't going to fix your dog obviously but it is easier for the liver to process which might make him feel a bit less sick.

[MsDani]

Thanks Jules I'll pick some up today - I'll try anything atm. He does have his 'senior' biscuits here, but he won't eat them.

If I get the Hills food, will it be safe for my female dog to eat as well? JIC she gets into it?

[JulesP]

Yep will be fine for your other dog, assuming she isn't allergic to any ingredients. Try the tinned version.

Edited August 30, 2012 by JulesP

[LizT]

I would rather go too early then a second too late. I have been that second too late and it's awful and it haunts me still.

Agree with this, I haven't gone too late with a dog but have with a cat and if I could turn back time I would have relieved her suffering earlier.

I also agree with Ams and others that if the light has gone out, it's time. If he's flat and miserable, and there is no hope of recovery, help him go.

But sometimes the light NEVER goes out. I had a Geman Shepherd with a colapsing scarum. Years earlier I had seen a woman with a GSD whose rear end was failing, her husband had built a sling in a frame on wheels and he had his rear end suspended in it and was pulling himself along on the trail. I promised my young GSD that I would never put his arse in a sling the way this dog had. He was far too dignified a creature for that.

When the time came to say goodbye our vet came to our house, we sat by a large grave my husband had dug months earlier "for when I needed it" and talked for what seemed like hours with Harley sitting on a bed sheet beside us. When it was time, my vet needed to sedate him as Harley had tensed up and it was difficult getting the larger needle in. Harley was still strong in mind and spirit but his body had let him down. He was 14 years old. It was only as he slowly lay down that the light finally left his eyes.