Is It Time?

[Tara and Sam]

Ok I am feeling really stressed out lately ( had a terrible year last year and this year not much better )

I need some objective opinons

I am due to have my Gallbladder out this week and stressing so badly over my 15 year old

we have never been apart for a night

as per above she turned 15 yrs this Febuary

she has had dementia for couple of years now , pacing around , sometimes gets behind a door and cant find her way out and crys

I am home 99% of the time so can hear her and be with her

she eats pretty well still , 3 smaller meals a day

she apparently has some minor dental problems

she has been deaf for few years now

and almost blind Nuclea Scholoris ? or similar

she seems to cope with her deafness and he eyesight failing

she fretted when Sam passed away in Dec 2010 , but we got her through that

she has loss of muslce tone in back legs

and her back legs seem to droop lower at times , for instance when eating her back legs start to go lower until she is sitting

she has a raised bowel to eat and drink from

when she goes outside she paces around , does her business then is like a puppy again and comes running back inside

to the point she slips and slides over the floor , have had mats down for about 12 months

she has had her accidents inside ( mainly poo's ) , sometimes our fault as we dont see her quick enough to get her out the door , sometimes we walk her aound for ages and she does nothing , then when she comes back inside she does it

i bought another 7 yr old companion for her and had her a month , they get on fine , and Tara uses her as a guide dog

had the vet out this week , and he says she isnt in pain , and given her meds for her legs ( anti inflamatories ) but she only had half the does recommended and next day she has the runs inside ( she tends to have a sensitive tummy )

she hates doing it inside as she slinks away after doing it

I have tried preparing myself for the day

OH cant accept the fact that it may be time

it is wearing me down seeing her like this , I feel she isnt gettign the quality life anymore

had to pick her up 3-4 times this week , and many clean ups inside this week also

and with me goign to hospital I think she will fret abit also as she and I have been constant companions for 15 yrs

I dont want to do what may be needed , but for her sake would I be doing the right thing ?

Sorry for long post but need some advice

what would you do ?

I have been in tears a lot this last month or so , as really dont know what is best for her

somedays I think yes , then another time say no

[dandybrush]

Im sorry i cant help, its a hard decision, their lives are in our hands. we only want whats best for them.

its a tough decision i know in the end you will do the best you can for her as you have done in her 15 yrs of life.

so sorry, thinking of you

[ari.g]

So sorry tara and sam, it is such a hard time and decision to make. I can only ask is she having more good days than bad? what advice would you give a friend if they were in the same position?

:hug:

[Pretty Miss Emma]

It is time when you think it is time. Everyone is different with what they are personally prepared to deal with, and if she isn't in pain then I guess that's what it comes to - what can you deal/cope with?

When I had Emma PTS last year I made the decision because she wasn't going to get better, she wasn't in pain but she would be soon, there was no course of treatment that would enable her to come home. So I decided that I wanted to make sure she had quality of life in her last moments and knew that myself and Kenzie were with her and loved her lots. Other people would have taken a dog in her condition home for a day or so to have more time with them, but I couldn't cope with seeing her get any sicker and feeling any more miserable than she already was so for me the time was right then.

I agree with ari.g - are there more good or bad days? In so many ways for me it was the nicest thing I could do for her and possibly even me - she had been sick, she was diabetic, she was going blind for the second time (and about to have her eye deadened) - it was a lot of emotional strain on me just looking after her day to day, and I think it also probably was for her to. But we had a lovely last week together not knowing what was coming, she did all the things she loved and saw all the people and dogs she loved (none of us knew it would be the last time). So for me I could see the time was right, even though I really wanted any other option to be available - it just wasn't to be.

I don't envy your situation, but you will make the right decision at the right time. No one can tell you when that is you will just know that it is the right time. And for now, enjoy every moment of her.

[Rysup]

Is your OH going to be home for her while you are in hospital?

If she still has more good days than bad every week, then I would let her go a bit longer. But if the bad days are starting to out number the good, then possibly it is time to let her go.

My two oldies here are almost 17 and 15. I take each week as it comes, and I know they will tell me when its there time.

[Tara and Sam]

It is a terrible decision isn't it when not sure if doing the right or wrong thing

more good or bad days ?

well the last 7 days seem to be her worst

the week before wasnt to bad

what would I recomend to a friend ? , well would be hard but would probally say might be kinder to give her her wings ,espcially after trying every avenue they could

according to the vet she isnt in pain , she doesnt cry in pain when moving up or down

what can I deal or cope with

good question as I know it is wearing me down , mainly for the reason seeing her like this and knowing that when she has a accident inside she herself doesnt like it

blindness, deafness, and pacing I can cope with better than the mess inside

it breaks my heart seeing her this way

trouble is she has always had a "tricky" tummy and some of these meds she gets put on gives her the runs , which wouldnt help her " pain releif " if she cant take them

since gettign the new dog a month ago , Tara has been getting her special time with cuddles and time alone with me

and the same with new girl , time alone and time all together

it was a lot of emotional strain on me just looking after her day to day, and I think it also probably was for her to

and that is what I have been thinking is it to much for her to cope with anymore , particularly if I also not here

she has the vacant look at times , and gets caught in corners and this must be a frightening thing for her

Yes OH will be home but he has a heart condition and doesnt cope well with mess inside etc , let alone cleaning it up lol

Plus one big factor is the hygene side of it , even thoroughly clean with dettol etc I dontn need a problem with my wounds

I did ring hospital today and will go in next month for my op ( as it hasnt given me pain and agony for few weeks ) so fingers crossed it will stay that way until op , it has releived my stress levels a bit knowing I can be here to monitor and help her more

I rang vet yesterday and he suggested a couple of days break from the tabs ( which I did stop them saturday when saw what they did to her )

so today she has had half the dose and so far so good , no runs

if the tablets help her without the runs , then will be easier on her

if they give her problems then I "think" the kindest thing would be to give her her wings , rather than the vet saying " we can try this and then this etc , all with probally the same affect on her

over last few years she has had 3 different tablets all that gave her the runs

I am / have tried every avenue I can to make her more comfortable and have some quality time

so fingers crossed these next few weeks will give her some better results

Thanks for the replies

much appreciated

[Dog_Horse_Girl]

It's so darned hard, isn't it? If only they could tell us what they want from us.

You know, if you're not coping with her as you'd like, be a little "selfish" because if you can't cope then it will lead to resentment and guilty feelings. So look after yourself first. I know I feel guilty every time I think I can't cope with Lilly for much longer, because she's gotten to the point where she can't get on and off my bed unaided, where she freezes up outside and refuses to move, and where she's weeing inside even though she's house trained. The pain isn't too bad right now, but she sleeps quite a bit...a lot more than even a few months ago. And she doesn't run around because I don't let her...if I do her neck is far too sore.

Just when I think it's time, the old Lilly looks at me. And that breaks my heart. Because inside this poor old dog, lives the younger, fun-loving dog who is still there from time to time. And that's the dog I remember.

[dandybrush]

:thinking of you all who are going through this