Animal Lovers That Dislike Children

[Miranda]

I chose not to have children, I have always known that I didn't want children, I am not maternal at all. I don't know whether I could have become pregnant because I have never taken the risk, no unprotected sex for me LOL. Now I am older I do not regret the fact that I've never had children nor do I care about growing old alone. So no bitterness here donatella, being a mother was never a part of my plan :)

[Guest donatella]

Just curious is all. I know lots more people these days who are choosing career over kids, pretty sure theres a movie about it.

Always happy to be proven wrong :)

[trinabean]

Well Liz, I bet you're now glad that woman on the plane asked to be moved otherwise you might have been stuck on a long haul flight with a sour bitch who did nothing but squirm in her seat, get up every 5 minutes to abuse the cabin crew, whinge about the inflight entertainment, food and booze, scream 'WE'RE GOING TO DIE' everytime there was turbulence and generally be a pain in the bum.

Yes, I'd much rather have sat next to Liz and her baby than the rude grumpy woman! :laugh:

[Guest donatella]

I could get shot in the foot for this but I do genuinely wonder how many anti kid people (seemingly most are women?) dislike and don't want kids at their choice entirely or that they were dealt a horrible hand at life and were not able to procreate and now hold a bitterness towards them. Just a thought, I don't want anyone to answer this, it's just a theory I have.

A theory like that might be best kept to yourself then. If you don't want public comment why post it on a public forum?

Forget your theory Donatella, I'm a grandmother and am dreading becoming a great grandmother, give me dogs and cats anyday, I do not like kids.

My sister right now is probably wishing she had you as the grandma to her newborn right now.

I used to be on team hate kids until I met my new niece and I'm totally in love. I've been on both camps of this debate.

[espinay2]

I could get shot in the foot for this but I do genuinely wonder how many anti kid people (seemingly most are women?) dislike and don't want kids at their choice entirely or that they were dealt a horrible hand at life and were not able to procreate and now hold a bitterness towards them. Just a thought, I don't want anyone to answer this, it's just a theory I have.

Am answering for me anyway. It is NOT BITTERNESS .

If you have suffered a loss, some people simply sometimes dont like having the pain of that loss shoved in their face to make the mental hurt and anguish worse.

There is a BIIIIG DIFFERENCE!!!!!!!

Some people may express they dont 'like' or 'get on' with kids because it is the simplest and easiest way to explain to someone without going into a whole essay about why they may not want to be around that particular child.

Maybe the child is being a right brat and annoying the heck out of them and this is the 'polite' way to say 'your parenting skills suck'

Maybe they are feeling unwell and need to sleep and rest and being disturbed by a child will do them no good - other people may have health issues they don't tell you about

Maybe they have suffered loss and having the child around is opening too many wounds that are too much to bear - be careful as the extreme flip side may be a woman who snaps and steals the child.

Maybe they have suffered from post natal depression and having your child around and in their face is helping to kick that back into gear - something they dont want to deal with I'll bet.

MAYBE by saying simply they dont particularly like kids they are BEING POLITE and trying to withdraw from the situaiton - and hoping you will respect their space and not shove your child at them.

There may be a LOT more to someone saying they 'don't like' kids than it seems on the surface

Maybe these same people are more than happy to interact with children at certain other times and really enjoy it - but also maybe NOT RIGHT NOW.

Rant over... for now

Edited March 4, 2012 by espinay2

[haven]

Whilst I've been guilty myself of saying "I don't much like kids", I really like the point someone made (apologies for not quoting you!) where they compared the 'deed not breed' argument to the "I don't like kids" mantra. Catch anyone at the right (or wrong) moment and you will see bad behaviour and without knowing a context for it's occurrence you can't really make a value judgement on whether that behaviour makes them a bad person or is a true reflection of their personality unless you know them well enough.

I agree with others who have posted that having preconceived ideas that may alter how you treat someone, anyone, is a bit unfair. Sure it isn't a problem if you don't let it affect you or others in a negative way, however I think reflecting the problem onto others is wrong. Take for example my Daughter, who is a 3.5 years old and extremely social. She loves to greet people (strangers) wherever we go, just to say hello. She doesn't harass anyone and usually won't say any more than hello unless they respond positively. From what a lot of people have said in this thread it seems to me that this kind of behaviour is looked upon unfavourably and would be ignored (and rightly so the attitude seems), but if it were an adult doing the greeting you would be considered rude to ignore them. Huge double standard there.

Yes, I agree that bad behaviour is difficult to put up with (and I doubt anyone knows that better than most parents of a child/children), however there are so many threads on here filled with examples of poor adult behaviour and yet I don't hear many people saying "I don't like adults". It's absolutely no skin off my nose if people don't like my child, but I do expect people to treat her with the courtesy that any human ought to be entitled to, despite her age, and I have to say that on a percentage scale of badly behaved people, kids wouldn't be at the top of the list from what I have witnessed. Certainly my child has better manners than a lot of people we meet on the street and even some of the posters in this thread.

I think you'll actually find that most people said they are polite to children unless they're behaving like monsters or being repeatedly annoying. I'm not generally a fan of kids but if your daughter said hello to me I'd say hello back to her. Where I'd get annoyed is if you then let her stand there and ask me a billion questions, touch my stuff, spill her ice cream on me etc... It's like one night when I was out at dinner in a small, quiet restaurant with a friend and a couple let their child run across the restaurant to us. She said hello, we said hello back and then wanted to resume our conversation. They let her stand there and try to run her toy up our arms, ask us to talk to her toy, chat incessantly and just generally annoy us and did nothing whatsoever about retrieving her. We still weren't rude to her even though were getting pretty pissed off. There's a big difference between something like that and a kid that just likes to be nice and say hello to people as they're passing.

Yep, I get and agree with the distinction. I'd have to trawl the thread for specific quotes and I'm not going to, but a lot of people did make comments along the lines of not liking being spoken to or being expected to speak to other people's kids etc

[Perry's Mum]

I could get shot in the foot for this but I do genuinely wonder how many anti kid people (seemingly most are women?) dislike and don't want kids at their choice entirely or that they were dealt a horrible hand at life and were not able to procreate and now hold a bitterness towards them. Just a thought, I don't want anyone to answer this, it's just a theory I have.

I could have had children, just never wanted them. I did have a step son and now have two sort of step grand daughters. I don't dislike all children, just badly behaved and out of control ones. I don't find babies at all interesting and have no desire to cuddle one - i justthink I was looking the other way when maternal instincts were handed out. I don't like puppies either - I mmuch prefer older dogs.

[Cat]

From OP's very first post in this thread

On a plane returning to Australia from Vienna an old woman sat beside me, glanced at my 6 months old baby, pulled a sour face, called the flight attendant and stated "I specifically requested NOT to be seated next to one of those"! She got moved.

It is how people openly express themselves that I believe the OP was questioning.

Whether someone likes or dislikes children or chooses to have children or not isn't the issue IMO

It is however obvious that many have no issue with people being so openly rude.

then you aren't reading posts properly. I and other people said that she was very rude. I said earlier that she may have just been a very rude person and it had nothing to do with whether or not she liked kids

others agreed that they wouldn't want to sit next to a child, but not necessarily agreed with how she went about it

I have not said all posters, you didn't read my post properly.

If I meant all the posters in this thread then I would have written that.

my apologies. I must not be reading properly as I can't remember anyone saying that the woman was right to be rude.

[benshiva]

Just curious is all. I know lots more people these days who are choosing career over kids, pretty sure theres a movie about it.

Always happy to be proven wrong :)

There's a movie about it then it MUST be true

[Sheridan]

What I'm finding interesting is the dislike expressed for those who don't like children. The OP at least has the excuse that a woman didn't want to sit next to her kid. Is everyone else's excuse the same? That you're offended because someone on an Internet forum might not like your child? Crisovar, perhaps you might like to comment since your view is coming out rather strongly. Speaking of telling, that is.

[Diva]

Just curious is all. I know lots more people these days who are choosing career over kids, pretty sure theres a movie about it.

Always happy to be proven wrong :)

There's a movie about it then it MUST be true

[Crisovar]

I don't care if people do not like children, I have repeated over and over it is the way that dislike is rudely expressed by some that is distasteful.

Everyone makes different choices in life, but because something is not your cup of tea is no reason to be insulting. Unfortunately it comes across in many discussions be it about children, breeds of dog, food, whatever.

[Diva]

I agree Crisovar, if there is dislike there is no reason to be rude about it.

For myself, I enjoy the children of friends and family, but have no interest in or appreciation or desire to interact with the children of strangers, particularly en masse.

That doesn't mean that I am rude to them but I don't engage much either unless asked to help for reasonable cause. I can't see why that should possibly offend anyone, and if it does they are not the kind of people who's opinion I'd care about anyway.

efs

Edited March 4, 2012 by Diva

[erinonthefarm]

I respect the right people have to chose whether or not to have children but it is upsetting to hear children described so appalingly by some people posting on here. Could you imagine when you were a child if someone described you that way?

When I read comments complaining about children being loud, rude, talking to much or god forbid trying to engage an adult in conversation, I wonder how these people were treated as children themselves and also how they behaved because I'm sure with an ounce of honest perspective they would recall being some if not all of these things as a child.

By all means don't have children, I respect that right and you shouldn't have to explain your choices to anyone, but some people really should examine how healthy it is to think in such negative terms about every immature member of your own species!

[Sheridan]

Noting again the dislike of those who don't like children. You should have a think about how you feel about mature members of your own species.

[OSoSwift]

I don't expect people to like my children, but I do expect they will be poilte about it. I don't let my kids annoy people, and they are not into going up to or speaking to people they don't know anyway. So if someone does not like my kids thats fine, but they can use thier manners about it as I expect my children to use manners when dealing with any other person.

[wuffles]

Noting again the dislike of those who don't like children. You should have a think about how you feel about mature members of your own species.

Agree. The irony amuses me.

Now people are assuming that people who don't like kids must have been mistreated as children. Interesting.

I don't mind children in general, but I am a 27 year old woman and have the natural instincts kicking in. Just this afternoon I was in a supermarket with kids running up and down the aisles playing tag... IMO inappropriate and it's really hard to think "I love kids" after being subjected to an hour of that :laugh: But then at the checkout there was a lovely little girl with her mum, well behaved and quiet. At least she reminded me there are kids I DO like :)

[LizT]

People have the right to like or dislike anything they choose, it is how they express those choices that is interesting.

Whether it be about life choices like children or pets, or tastes in fashion or food, how a person expresses themselves is very telling.

well I can't speak for other posters but it gets pretty annoying when you have to keep explaining yourself because people just can't accept the way you want to live your life.

Not meaning here, but everywhere.

Like the "Why do you have so many animals? You could have a really nice house and a pool if not for them and be able to go on holidays etc. etc." I used get that all the time from family, but I think they finally get me. :)

no...animals is not usually as bad. Unless it's the "you may as well have kids if you are going to have so many animals"

not being a kid person is usually treated as worse, like there is something wrong with you.

I didn't have a child until I was 29, and I have to admit there was a time where I didn't think I would. There was a lot of not too subtle comments from both my mother and future mother in law as neither was a grandparent and both were keen for this to happen. :laugh: I actually said if I didn't have kids by the time I was 30 I wouldn't because my lifestyle was becoming too selfish to give up. I did give up alot to have kids as the dollar only goes so far. Especially when I became a single mum at 37. No regrets though. I always did enjoy having a hold of a friends new baby, the nicest part then, being able to hand it back. I think that will be the upside of being a Grandparent should that happen some day. ;)

[LizT]

Well Liz, I bet you're now glad that woman on the plane asked to be moved otherwise you might have been stuck on a long haul flight with a sour bitch who did nothing but squirm in her seat, get up every 5 minutes to abuse the cabin crew, whinge about the inflight entertainment, food and booze, scream 'WE'RE GOING TO DIE' everytime there was turbulence and generally be a pain in the bum.

:laugh:

[erinonthefarm]

Noting again the dislike of those who don't like children. You should have a think about how you feel about mature members of your own species.

Agree. The irony amuses me.

Now people are assuming that people who don't like kids must have been mistreated as children. Interesting.

If that is in relation to my comments what I meant was can you imagine being subjected to a negative attitude as a child because some random person thinks you are smelly, boring, loud based purely on your age ..... read into that what you will, I made no assumptions

And as far as how I feel about mature members of my species, I wouldn't generalise about that just like I wouldn't generalise about children. Each individual taken on their own merit, some are a little more trying than others :laugh: