hortfurball Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 Really? People must like to tell me what they think (Great! :rolleyes: ). Do they actually say they dislike all children or simply say they dont feel maternal and cant build a bond with a baby/child? I think disliking or hating children is probably very different to someone who just doesnt connect with them. I think kids are great and have a lot in my life but I just didnt manage to give birth to them. Many variations on a theme Raz. Like... I can't stand kids. I don't like kids. I'm not a kid person. I hate babies, tehy smell. I prefer animals over kids any day. rada rada rada All entitled opinions of course but I still get taken aback. My problem it would seem. ;) I have said most of the above at different times (exception being the 'hate babies' comment). Even though I have said I can't stand them, obviously I can because I haven't dropped dead yet when one has approached. I don't seek out the company of children, I'd rather talk to someone I can understand and relate to. I do not like badly behaved children I admit, but then I don't like badly behaved dogs either, or badly behaved adults for that matter. Total flame suit moment - I'll come clean and say I think most babies are ugly They are pink squished things that look like wizened little old men, and sorry but I just don't find anything appealing about them. Obviously there are some exceptions - I did once see one little girl baby at the supermarket that was cute as a button. She could only have been a few weeks old so usually in the 'don't like it' basket for me, but she was actually pretty. This thread must have taken some strange turns since last night. Lots of missing posts and quite disjointed to read, especially when things are quoted without the original post being there... People who don't like kids - OK People who don't like dogs - yep that's OK too. People who don't like cats - yep I can understand. But people who don't like CHOCOLATE???? : ;) Your chocolate would be safe in my fridge. :) I still have chocolates left over from christmas, I'm eating them gradually, when I remember they're there. Chocolate mudcake vs lemon meringue pie, I'll have the lemon thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Polgara's Shadow Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 Is it just me or......this is something I've often wondered and I'm ready with my flame suit on. But yes, over the years I have observed a number of my non children friends who have animals and have noticed that many of them, think of their pets as their children and also appear to actively dislike children. Why is this? I mean I know children are hard work and have their rewards and challenges, but hey, they were kids once too. There are many well behaved, nicely raised kids out there that are a credit to the future so why do some people get all anti-kids about it? So why the "not renting to families with kids" etc. On a plane returning to Australia from Vienna an old woman sat beside me, glanced at my 6 months old baby, pulled a sour face, called the flight attendant and stated "I specifically requested NOT to be seated next to one of those"! She got moved. I will admit sometimes other peoples kid annoy me when I see their mothers let them run amuk in shopping centres etc. but that does not colour my attitude towards ALL children, either prior to becoming a mother 22 years ago or after. ;) Why? (Dons flame suit) Because we have overpopulated the planet and the last thing we need is yet another first world child consuming more than its fair share of resources while millions less fortunate starve. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crisovar Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 (edited) It could be argued that by keeping pets we are doing exactly that too ;) Edited March 3, 2012 by Crisovar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greytmate Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 Indeed. I think the lack of "the extended family" is partly to blame for the "me,me" generation. I don't understand this. Only people who decide to have a child are going to be able to bring it up "me, me" style. Those of us who have no kids did not breed these selfish children. If a child is brought up in a 'me, me' style, or if children are considered the "me, me" generation why would anyone else want to be near them? If you think it is important to have extended family around kids, there is your reason why I should never have any. I am glad we live in a society that values individualism more than valuing traditional patriarchal family structures. It means that people like me that don't have the biological urge to breed are not trapped in a hideous life in servitude of the children we were expected to have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greytmate Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 It could be argued that by keeping pets we are doing exactly that too ;) If you feed pets human-grade food instead of meat-byproduct, they do consume more than their share of our world's resources. But I don't think children should be fed meat by-product or other waste food. If they were, our population would be more sustainable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Polgara's Shadow Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 (edited) It could be argued that by keeping pets we are doing exactly that too ;) Reason's for people not adoring children are myriad, this thread has revealed a whole spectrum of reasons 'why' individuals feel this way. I hope this thread has given the OP (and others) new perspectives about the variety of reasons 'why' individuals don't or choose not to surround themselves with children. I hope too that understanding brings greater empathy and tolerance Sure, there's a whole philosphical debate about the ethics of owning animals at all, and I have my opinions on that debate also... but we were talking about reasons why individuals aren't into children, not reasons why we choose to have pets.. and my own reasons for each are not the same :) Edited March 3, 2012 by Polgara's Shadow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crisovar Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 I think this thread was more trying to understand why some people show such open dislike of children, not so much why some choose not to be parents. There is a big difference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greytmate Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 I wouldn't want to sit next to the incontinent person on the plane that communicates through wailing loudly, no matter how old they are. That isn't about a dislike of children, it is about comfort in an enclosed and poorly ventilated space. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Anne~ Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 When I am on a plane and a child is crying or doing things that children do it does stress me a touch. However, I feel so much for the person trying to care for them. Their stress levels must be double mine as they are getting less rest than me and they also are usually acutely aware that their child is disturbing others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tess32 Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 I went to the Big Dog Day Out at KCC Park a while ago and I noticed a real difference in the 'vibe' I got from people because I suddenly had a kid in a pram. I can't really explain it, but it was weird. Anyway, children are individuals so it makes no sense to me to 'not like children' unless you 'don't like humans' in general. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hortfurball Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 Why? (Dons flame suit) Because we have overpopulated the planet and the last thing we need is yet another first world child consuming more than its fair share of resources while millions less fortunate starve. That is indeed one of my reasons for not wanting to have a child. I am glad we live in a society that values individualism more than valuing traditional patriarchal family structures. It means that people like me that don't have the biological urge to breed are not trapped in a hideous life in servitude of the children we were expected to have. Well said. I feel exactly the same. So glad I wasn't born thirty + years earlier than I was. When I am on a plane and a child is crying or doing things that children do it does stress me a touch. However, I feel so much for the person trying to care for them. Their stress levels must be double mine as they are getting less rest than me and they also are usually acutely aware that their child is disturbing others. Yes, but it was their choice to travel with the child. My choice is to travel without, and that includes other people's. Anyway, children are individuals so it makes no sense to me to 'not like children' unless you 'don't like humans' in general. Read the last 15 pages again, you obviously missed something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest donatella Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 Why? (Dons flame suit) Because we have overpopulated the planet and the last thing we need is yet another first world child consuming more than its fair share of resources while millions less fortunate starve. That is indeed one of my reasons for not wanting to have a child. I am glad we live in a society that values individualism more than valuing traditional patriarchal family structures. It means that people like me that don't have the biological urge to breed are not trapped in a hideous life in servitude of the children we were expected to have. Well said. I feel exactly the same. So glad I wasn't born thirty + years earlier than I was. When I am on a plane and a child is crying or doing things that children do it does stress me a touch. However, I feel so much for the person trying to care for them. Their stress levels must be double mine as they are getting less rest than me and they also are usually acutely aware that their child is disturbing others. Yes, but it was their choice to travel with the child. My choice is to travel without, and that includes other people's. Anyway, children are individuals so it makes no sense to me to 'not like children' unless you 'don't like humans' in general. Read the last 15 pages again, you obviously missed something. Noone likes listening to the squealing of children on planes (particularly the parent) but until it is banned (aka never) I suggest you build a bridge or buy some ear plugs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizT Posted March 3, 2012 Author Share Posted March 3, 2012 Indeed. I think the lack of "the extended family" is partly to blame for the "me,me" generation. I don't understand this. Only people who decide to have a child are going to be able to bring it up "me, me" style. Those of us who have no kids did not breed these selfish children. If a child is brought up in a 'me, me' style, or if children are considered the "me, me" generation why would anyone else want to be near them? If you think it is important to have extended family around kids, there is your reason why I should never have any. I am glad we live in a society that values individualism more than valuing traditional patriarchal family structures. It means that people like me that don't have the biological urge to breed are not trapped in a hideous life in servitude of the children we were expected to have. Try thinking of it in the context of "It takes a village to raise a child". :) That is what I am implying, that the nuclear (closed) family, where we don't have the benefit of the expected respect and input of say, the elderly, neighbours, close friends etc. creates a secular, self absorbed society and we raise children in this environment today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizT Posted March 3, 2012 Author Share Posted March 3, 2012 I think this thread was more trying to understand why some people show such open dislike of children, not so much why some choose not to be parents. There is a big difference. YES! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kavik Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 a long haul flight is the LAST place any parent wants to be with a child :laugh: Really, 14 hrs on a plane with not being able to get up and no space is absolute torture with kids the only reason I do it is to visit family, even then it is only when I have to go (organised Christmas, weddings). What I am amazed at is that people in playgroup are talking about camping with little kids - that comes pretty close on the torture scale to me :laugh: but NOTHING is worse than flying with kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr.mister Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 (edited) Why? (Dons flame suit) Because we have overpopulated the planet and the last thing we need is yet another first world child consuming more than its fair share of resources while millions less fortunate starve. That is indeed one of my reasons for not wanting to have a child. I am glad we live in a society that values individualism more than valuing traditional patriarchal family structures. It means that people like me that don't have the biological urge to breed are not trapped in a hideous life in servitude of the children we were expected to have. Well said. I feel exactly the same. So glad I wasn't born thirty + years earlier than I was. When I am on a plane and a child is crying or doing things that children do it does stress me a touch. However, I feel so much for the person trying to care for them. Their stress levels must be double mine as they are getting less rest than me and they also are usually acutely aware that their child is disturbing others. Yes, but it was their choice to travel with the child. My choice is to travel without, and that includes other people's. Anyway, children are individuals so it makes no sense to me to 'not like children' unless you 'don't like humans' in general. Read the last 15 pages again, you obviously missed something. Noone likes listening to the squealing of children on planes (particularly the parent) but until it is banned (aka never) I suggest you build a bridge or buy some ear plugs I don't think anyone's calling for it to be banned. :laugh: The point here seems to have been lost along the way - that is, someone has the right to be moved in a plane if they don't want to sit next to a screaming child/man/woman/whoever. Edited March 3, 2012 by mr.mister Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizT Posted March 3, 2012 Author Share Posted March 3, 2012 a long haul flight is the LAST place any parent wants to be with a child :laugh: Really, 14 hrs on a plane with not being able to get up and no space is absolute torture with kids the only reason I do it is to visit family, even then it is only when I have to go (organised Christmas, weddings). What I am amazed at is that people in playgroup are talking about camping with little kids - that comes pretty close on the torture scale to me :laugh: but NOTHING is worse than flying with kids. ....crying baby in a Cinema! That where I lose it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Anne~ Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 Why? (Dons flame suit) Because we have overpopulated the planet and the last thing we need is yet another first world child consuming more than its fair share of resources while millions less fortunate starve. That is indeed one of my reasons for not wanting to have a child. I am glad we live in a society that values individualism more than valuing traditional patriarchal family structures. It means that people like me that don't have the biological urge to breed are not trapped in a hideous life in servitude of the children we were expected to have. Well said. I feel exactly the same. So glad I wasn't born thirty + years earlier than I was. When I am on a plane and a child is crying or doing things that children do it does stress me a touch. However, I feel so much for the person trying to care for them. Their stress levels must be double mine as they are getting less rest than me and they also are usually acutely aware that their child is disturbing others. Yes, but it was their choice to travel with the child. My choice is to travel without, and that includes other people's. Anyway, children are individuals so it makes no sense to me to 'not like children' unless you 'don't like humans' in general. Read the last 15 pages again, you obviously missed something. Noone likes listening to the squealing of children on planes (particularly the parent) but until it is banned (aka never) I suggest you build a bridge or buy some ear plugs I don't think anyone's calling for it to be banned. :laugh: The point here seems to have been lost along the way - that is, someone has the right to be moved in a plane if they don't want to sit next to a screaming child/man/woman/whoever. So they have the right?! I never knew that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizT Posted March 3, 2012 Author Share Posted March 3, 2012 (edited) Why? (Dons flame suit) Because we have overpopulated the planet and the last thing we need is yet another first world child consuming more than its fair share of resources while millions less fortunate starve. That is indeed one of my reasons for not wanting to have a child. I am glad we live in a society that values individualism more than valuing traditional patriarchal family structures. It means that people like me that don't have the biological urge to breed are not trapped in a hideous life in servitude of the children we were expected to have. Well said. I feel exactly the same. So glad I wasn't born thirty + years earlier than I was. When I am on a plane and a child is crying or doing things that children do it does stress me a touch. However, I feel so much for the person trying to care for them. Their stress levels must be double mine as they are getting less rest than me and they also are usually acutely aware that their child is disturbing others. Yes, but it was their choice to travel with the child. My choice is to travel without, and that includes other people's. Anyway, children are individuals so it makes no sense to me to 'not like children' unless you 'don't like humans' in general. Read the last 15 pages again, you obviously missed something. Noone likes listening to the squealing of children on planes (particularly the parent) but until it is banned (aka never) I suggest you build a bridge or buy some ear plugs I don't think anyone's calling for it to be banned. :laugh: The point here seems to have been lost along the way - that is, someone has the right to be moved in a plane if they don't want to sit next to a screaming child/man/woman/whoever. So they have the right?! I never knew that. Could you imagine a scenario where everyone is unhappy with their seating? It would be like that episode of "The Middle", where the mother rearranges other passengers to suit her needs. Edited March 3, 2012 by LizT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 Indeed. I think the lack of "the extended family" is partly to blame for the "me,me" generation. I don't understand this. Only people who decide to have a child are going to be able to bring it up "me, me" style. Those of us who have no kids did not breed these selfish children. If a child is brought up in a 'me, me' style, or if children are considered the "me, me" generation why would anyone else want to be near them? If you think it is important to have extended family around kids, there is your reason why I should never have any. I am glad we live in a society that values individualism more than valuing traditional patriarchal family structures. It means that people like me that don't have the biological urge to breed are not trapped in a hideous life in servitude of the children we were expected to have. Try thinking of it in the context of "It takes a village to raise a child". :) That is what I am implying, that the nuclear (closed) family, where we don't have the benefit of the expected respect and input of say, the elderly, neighbours, close friends etc. creates a secular, self absorbed society and we raise children in this environment today. I still don't understand. isn't that up to you as parents? Surely it is up to you to teach you children respect and seek out input from those you want it. But really it is not up to everyone else to raise your child Don't know about the person most stressed about children screaming being the parents...I've have seen quite a number in shopping centres who don't seem to even notice their child is throwing the world's biggest tantrum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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