Fear Of Dogs In A Child....and How To Help?

[Bluefairy]

Hi,

My Grandson is 7, he has never been bitten or attacked by any dog, but he is afraid of them It scares him when they are in his face (so larger breeds) or if they jump up, even the tiny breeds....and especially if they bark.

His family, Mum, Dad, Brother and 2 Sisters all want to get a dog, even this little boy so wants to get a dog, but as soon as they are on there way to meet one he freaks and starts crying....even though he was begging for one.

They have met dogs on leads on their walks and the owners have said it was OK for him to pat the dog...he will touch it with his finger and thats it....he patted it They have been to friends who have small dogs and they freaked him out as they tried to say hello. It has been explained to him that some dogs bark, because they are saying hello to him, and they just want him to pat them. He understands but its still this fear.

They did get a dog years ago (before they knew how bad this fear was), a GR pup, hoping that the dog would help....as a puppy, my grandson stopped playing with his toys on the floor and just sat on the lounge, as the dog got bigger and was able to sneak on the lounge, he would stay in his room and not come out. He refused to go outside to play while the dog was out there They ended up finding a great home for the puppy (about 7mths old by then) as they couldn't keep her.

Its so sad to see all these dogs attracted to him like a magnet and him so afraid of them...

I have suggested to my daughter she take her son to the Obedience Training classes each week, just to watch the dogs going through their paces. Then after several weeks to go see the trainer and tell her....I thought maybe if he see's the trainers dog sitting or laying down and not coming to him, it might over time get him used to dogs....I don't know...I have no idea how to help him.

Is there anything we could try to help him over come this fear?

I hope you can help.

Lynn

[persephone]

Just some stuff.....at random.

he's 7 ? give him a page ,decorated with cute cartoon doggy drawings .. and two coloured pencils .. and ask him to write down what he likes about dogs, and what he doesn't like /is scared of . just leave him with it for a day or two ..no coaxing/hinting ....

read doggy stories .. with pictures of kids & dogs ... watch videos of kids/dogs playing ... just gently .. don't force the issue ...then maybe go watch some dogs IRL ... I would also recommend any interaction with placid dogs be done with the child being exposed to the rump of the dog only , to start with - have the bouncy/pointy end well away :) .. that way there is no threat.

Have selected dogs that may be on leash in the same room , etc wear a bandana/tshirt with motifs the child loves .. his fave cartoon/animal , maybe :)

Also.. it is worth finding some one to help ..someone with perhaps a lab .. who is well trained, and who may carry a large toy , or bag of goodies , and sit in front of child and 'present' the gift /drop it near him .

poor kid

[Guest RANDCMOORE31]

I'm certainly no expert - but I think a fear as profound as your grandson's probably needs some professional help. There are numerous therapies that I believe can be highly successful in treating fears and phobias. I would maybe start with the local community health centre or your GP to get a referral - or maybe even search the white or yellow pages for therapists that deal with fears/phobias. Continuing to force interaction with dogs without treating the fear - may actually make it worse.

[Bluefairy]

Thank you,

He loves reading stories of dogs, watching movies etc about dogs....he fantasies about the idea of having a dog....its the actual physical dog he's afraid of.

I agree its so sad to see a child not able to interact with any dog....kids and dogs just seem to go together.

I will get my daughter to ask the trainer at the obedience school. This is the only place in this rural area that has well behaved dogs.

Its totally amazing to see the dogs when they try to interact with this boy, you can see they so want him to give them attention (its like they see him as special), and you can so see he wants to, but his fear wins every time.

Lynn

[Greytmate]

We often had parents tell us at Greyhound displays that their child was very frightened of all dogs, but seemed not to be scared of greyhounds.

It is because greyhounds lie still and are not very reactive to things going on around them. They don't generally bark at things and are not jumpy and on alert like many dogs are. They lie there doing nothing.

Many small dogs can be a bit scary to small children because they like to jump up on people and their paws can scratch. I don't think it is reasonable for him to accept dogs barking at him for attention. I certainly wouldn't appreciate that at all and would want that dog right away from me.

I don't think this family should get a puppy at all. It will probably make the child more fearful, as puppies demand lots of attention and move around quickly and clumsily and unpredictably.

But they could go to a greyhound display to see if the child can be relaxed and happy around adult dogs that just lie there, quietly accepting pats. If they know other people with very calm dogs that don't bark at people or jump, they could also spend time with them.

I think it is cruel to make a small child put up with jumping and barking if the child is scared of those things. There is nothing you could say that makes those behaviours any less scary than they are, and I think it is important that the child feels safe and that their fears are believed.

[raz]

Do you have any friends who have a laid back older dog? Might be a way to start with introductions - you know the type; old dog just wants to sit there and be patted rather than bark in excitement. I remember being frightened of barking dogs when I was a kid and we grew up with dogs. Even a new crazy puppy was frightening when he was brought home. I grew out of the fear so hopefully your grandson will as well.

[Bluefairy]

Thank you,

My Grandson has never been forced to meet a dog (except for the GR pup), he wanted to pat all of them, but then changed his mind. My daughter has never made him accept a barking dog (and when I say barking I mean one or two barks and then they are quiet), she was just trying to explain to him that the bark they were doing was their way of talking.

Yes the little dogs have all jumped up unfortunately. And yes that is something even I don't like.

And they are not looking at getting a puppy, they would like to get an older dog, mostly a rescue....one that has gone past the puppy, jumpy stage. But they have no intentions of getting ANY dog until this issue is resolved.

RAZ ~ No I don't know anyone with older dogs. My daughter knows a few, but they are the jumpy types, so no good. I hope he grows out of it too

Lynn

Edited February 6, 2012 by Bluefairy

[murve]

what about trying to contact the local elderly ppl home to see if they have theropy dogs that come in, try contacting a dog theropy group :)

Yes Greys & Whippets are great for kids who have this fear as they are so layed back :D Good luck with your grandson Bluefairy

[Salukifan]

We often had parents tell us at Greyhound displays that their child was very frightened of all dogs, but seemed not to be scared of greyhounds.

It is because greyhounds lie still and are not very reactive to things going on around them.

I think this is the key. This child needs to meet gentle, non-reactive, almost disinterested dogs to build his confidence. My guess is that an older sighthound (Whippets are the smallest) could be perfect. "Friendly" dogs won't help at all.

I agree that some professional help might be warranted. What should never happen is that the child be forced to interact with dogs or that anyone make light of his fears. Fortunately, that doesn't seem to be the case here.

[dee lee]

I feel for your family, my eldest daughter was terrified of dogs at 7 & it was very distressing.

She reacted much the same as your grandson at the same triggers.

We recognised that a puppy would only exacerbate the problem, so we opted to adopt an older dog from a breed rescue.

We explained at length our situation & waited until a suitable dog came along.

2.5 year old Honey the GR was perfect, she didnt jump, lick or bark. She calmly sat for pats. She was (is!) the sweetest tempered dog.

When Honey first came home, my daughter was still afraid & would run away at any movement she made. But day by day, she came to trust her & within a week was able to give her a hug. :D

It took a long time before the fear diminished with other dogs outside our house, but eventually it did.

Prior to Honey my daughter would run onto a road in fear, to avoid any dogs in her path. Now, 2 years on, she only flinches if one barks near her. It's an enormous improvement that I give Honey total credit for. :D

I think Greytmate makes a very good point. My daughter was always much better with large dogs- they tend to be a lot calmer, move slower, jump & bark less. She found them a lot more predictable.

ETA: oh, one more thing- my daughter is just not as "into" dogs as her sister, its unlikely she ever will be. And that's ok, Honey is the family dog. :)

Edited February 7, 2012 by dee lee

[Sayly]

Bluefairy, perhaps some DOLers in your area might have some suitable, calm adult dogs that your grandson could meet?

[Whippetsmum]

I agree with RANDCMOORE31.

Fears that are not "rational" to the outsider could be Phobias, but need to be properly diagnosed. The parents should talk to their GP about a referral to an appropriate Health Professional for assessment and treatment. having a Phobia doesn't make a child "sick" or mean that they have a big problem, just something that will take a little time and care to resolve.

The trouble with Phobias is that we all seem to have theories about how to fix the child, but phobias can have many levels, and without a proper analysis, our layman's interventions could do more harm than good.

For all concerned, this family should not get a dog until the child has been treated for this issue. It's npt fair on him, the dog, or the rest of the family. E.g. how would the siblings react if the dog had to be rehomed? How guilty would your grandson feel? What would happen if the dog is always squealed at when the boy comes near? It's not a good situation for anyone.

[Dogsfevr]

Agree get it sorted professionally .He needs to learn how to breakdown the fear & what it is that frightens him & the other family members need to learn how to support him .

Even the most bomb proof dogs can sense fear so selection of dogs would have to be more than a few well trained ones they need to be absolutely ideal for this childs fear & reaction .

We get alot of phone calls from parents wanting to get a family dog but have kids terrified of dogs & think getting a puppy will fix it,we won't sell to anyone in this situation.

The fact they have already brought a pup & had rehome may already play havoc on this young boys mind & adding to his fear of the dog & the outcome it resulted in .

Most places have fear/phobia classes ( spiders,heights & the likes that they must also cater for for dogs/cats )

[german_shep_fan]

It sounds like he might actually have a phobia of them which might need some professional help. Good luck and i hope things work out :)

[Nic.B]

I agree with what most others have said and have three nieces on my husbands side, who are terrified of any animal. Even our horses acres away from the house! Most often they won’t get out of the car unless they are carried and know that all our animals are contained. Then they worry about snakes, spiders and bugs or ants as well!

It is quite sad for me really, as it is for you, I grew up with animals. My nieces have absolutely no experiences any species of animal as they live a sheltered life inside the home, well away from animals. Not sure if it is the same for your grandson?

Your little grandson does not need to meet a dog who barks or jumps up at this stage, or a dog who is excited, or stimulated easily. I agree with others, a middle aged, good natured, laid back dog who has some obedience is probably the best way to go.

My nieces actually started with our laid back cat who is always putty in our hands, you can do anything with Peppa, she just purrs away.

Before I knew it she was being nursed, kissed and pushed around in the dolly pram (which is one place she likes to sleep) The girls always ask where she is as soon as they walk in the door and can’t wait to spend some time with Peppa.

Recently the girls met our small 7 year old foxie X and it all went very well, I was surprised to be honest. The kids did well, though Billy is a very laid back fellow and loves kids, other dogs and people.

I would not expose our nieces to our other dogs, the dogs are well behaved and well-mannered though I feel it is too much for them until they gain some confidence.

In my nieces case it is simply lack of contact with animals that has caused the biggest problems. They have never had a bad experience and have never been exposed to any animal or bug.

Good luck :)

One step at a time :)

[Pretty Miss Emma]

Emma and I did some work with a kids who was scared of dogs - he'd been attacked by one and will carry the scars of it for life. Of course his family went out and bought a Kelpie pup that the kid was also afraid of because it was jumpy, mouthy, etc etc.

Anyway, he did some work with Em and I through our obedience club. Emma and I were specially chosen for the job purely because of Em's nature. She was totally focussed on me, was super calm (she was 10 years old at this time), was pretty much bomb proof to everything and also was an assessed therapy dog. We certainly didn't do enough work with this kid (because his family stopped coming when they had seen some progress, but it's an ongoing thing!) but he did become more confident.

I went in each week with a goal of what I hoped he would be able to do. When I first met him he couldn't even stand within about 3m of Em. I used to hang out with him and show him Emma's tricks. After a couple of weeks he was able to walk with us (beside me, which was also pretty much beside Em!) on our pre-training walk. He also got enough confidence to throw treats to her. Eventuallly I tricked him in to holding her lead (shoe lace!!! And she was just sitting beside me the whole time, but he was petrified of touching the lead before then). And in the last couple of week I saw him he developed enough confidence to shake hands and hi-5 her and also feed her a treat from a flat hand (and somewhere along the line he figured out that he could pat her along her neck). But all of this took a long time and was with an exceptionally calm, well behaved and dellightful dog.

Every time he had an experience with a dog that jumped at him you could see him being set back.

I really think it's important that your grandson only meet exceptionally well behaved dogs that can demonstrate good manners (and who have owners that have instilled this in their training). In all honesty I really don't think it's appropriate for any sized dog to be jumping on anyone or barking at anyone to say hello, not too many people would be interpretting that as being polite and friendly. I'd do everything I could for your grandson to avoid dogs like this. That's something to build up to a long way down the track.

Maybe you can get in touch with Delta or some other organisation that does pet-therapy work and see if you can try to do some desensitisation with one of those dogs. It's going to be a slow process that your grandson really needs to lead (ie not be forced in to uncomfortable situations), but I really think that you will see some improvement if you can find the right dog to help you.

Oh, and I agree with what others have said, getting a puppy would be a bad idea for this child (might be good for the others but likely could cause some big issues for him). Even if he does start to get over his fear it may be worth looking in to older dogs rather than a pupppy - always comes down to the individual dog but older usually means a bit calmer, not mouthy, etc.

Good luck, it can be conquered!!

[Rosaline]

Do they have other pets?

Maybe a smaller animal might be a better starting point for the family to ease him into the idea. Something like a guinea pig or a rabbit (if they are legal where they live) and in the meantime work on minimising his fears, without making a big deal about it.

[PuddleDuck]

Is there a good local agility group?

One thing that helped the kids in my family who were scared of dogs was to let them put doof through his paces on mock agility courses. He doesn't need to be touched, just point at the jump and say 'over'. Then kick the soccer ball. I think it made them feel in control and it seemed to build their confidence.

Soccer worked too, with a rule of you must kick the ball immediately (or he will rush it). He is the favourite goalie now :)

My other rule is that 'sitting is how puppies say please'. My dogs are calmed in a sit (Kodiak is a slug when you pat her') so I tell the kids that if they aren't sitting, they are being rude. And what do we do when someone is rude? We ignore them and walk away. So it stops them interacting with the dogs at the wrong times (ie when they are mental!)

[Cosmolo]

I worked with a child whose mother contacted me at her wits end. They had tried child therapists and a variety of other options to try to desensitise the child to dogs. She was so fearful that she would not come down from play equipment if she could even see a dog and would break down if she needed to pass one on the street. She had a rabbit- which had helped with some things but she still could not bear to see a dog.

We did 3 sessions and did a variety of exercises using my own dogs. The dogs being used for situations like this are hard to come by- i have 5 dogs and though all of them are fantastic with children- but one would have been too boisterous to start with, one would have greeted her with a 'woo woo' etc. I used different dogs at different points of the training- i am fortunate enough to have such wonderful teaching dogs for these situations. Its vital to work at the childs pace, not over face them and focus on giving them control in a variety of ways. By the end of our time working together, this child could hold my dogs lead, give commands, give treats and a short pat.

Try to find a professional with dogs that can help.

[Loving my Oldies]

I think PrettyMissEmma has said it all, really; and Persephone had some good ideas too.

What about a not too big, not too small stuffed dog to cuddle at night, if he likes to hold a toy when he goes to bed?

Obviously, we don't know the situation first hand, but I'd try other things before getting in professional help. My feelings are that gradual exposure will be more helpful.

Keep us informed.