Red Fox Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 http://blogs.dogster...operty/2011/04/ Picture this – it's a lovely day, and you are relaxing at a local park, having a picnic with your family. A well-dressed lady you've never met before with a large smile on her face exits her car. She automatically lays eyes on your family and begins staring. Slowly, she moves toward you, speaking gibberish and making baby talk, googly eyes, and grabby hands. She begins touching your children, grabbing their cheeks. She grabs one by the face, moves her face to within inches of baby Tommy's, staring directly into his eyes and smiling. She grabs your husband by the ears, sits on his lap, and firmly plants her lips on his mouth. She gives you a little squeeze on the rump, hugs you tightly, and scratches your 8 year old's head. Nearby stands your 3 year old nephew, she quickly grabs his shoulders firmly and begins applying downward pressure, while saying, "SIT! SIT! SIT!" What if she then spied your lovely new Coach purse on the picnic blanket and decided to throw it over her shoulder, cavalierly? "Oh, I really like this purse!" She then removed your keys, approached your car, and drove off with your credit cards. OK, at what point during these events did you call the police? If anyone did this to you or your family, you would think they were socially defunct and may need to be removed from polite society. Would you, at any point in this interaction, have acted "aggressively" by telling her to go away? Would you have left the park? What would you have done if you asked her to go away and she continued to harass your family? This story seems absurd, like something out of a hidden camera show. Sadly, this is not science fiction but an every day way-of-life for many dogs. In the eyes of the law, dogs are considered the "private property" of the owner. Society apparently did not get the proverbial memo, so many people assume, "all dogs are for me to touch." Many have excuses like, "I LOVE dogs!" which they think gives them a free pass to wander our communities, groping any dog that comes into their contact. Yes, folks, there are serial dog gropers in your community. No other private property that I'm aware of is considered "free access" to the community. You can't just move into someone's house, take their purse or car, or abscond with a cell phone just because you like it. You can't pick up someone's kid and hug them just because the kid is cute. You can't snatch up someone's picnic basket because you happen to like organic chicken salad wraps, Petit Noir, deviled eggs and fresh fruit. Yet somehow, when it's a cute dog, it's a free-f0r-all. Dogs are approached without owners being asked, and are subjected to all kinds of things that dogs don't like (more on this in a later entry), and are expected to just deal with it. If owners ask for their dog to be left alone, they're looked at as if they are some sort of green, three-eyed monster with a serious attitude problem. For dogs, the rules seem to be: Someone steps on your tail? Deal with it. Stranger steals your favorite toy? Too bad, so sad! Have arthritis and someone pushes down on your rear, causing intense pain? Deal with it. Want to have a nice outing with your best friend without being disturbed by strangers? Tough. Don't like to be molested by strangers? Too bad, sit there and take it. I guess the question must be: are dogs ever allowed to have opinions? Do we really expect them to welcome every type of social interaction, all the time, in any circumstance? Do we expect them to tolerate pain, social pressure, and molestation? In the comments on the article I mentioned yesterday, a number of people said something to the effect of, "if a dog is out in public, I assume it is friendly and that I am welcome to touch it." Really? Where did this sense of entitlement come from? As citizens, we are allowed to protect our homes and property. We are entitled to legal protection if someone threatens the safety of our family, tries to break into our cars, homes, or bank accounts. Why are dogs, which unlike all of these other material possessions, have feelings, opinions, and comfort levels, the only "personal property" we have that is subject to being assaulted by community members without recourse? When will we realize that many actions which humans think are friendly (more on this later, too) are perceived as active acts of aggression by "man's best friend?" The moral of the story is – my dogs are MY dogs. We may be out in public, but that does not entitle you to touch them or force yourself upon them. I have the right to say, "leave my dog alone," just as much as I have the right to say, "keep your hands out of my wallet or undergarments." Mokie, my Chow mix, really doesn't like being touched by strangers. She tolerates it, but does not enjoy it, and looks at me the entire time as if to say, "I'll get something for this, right?" Sometimes, she just wants to go for a walk and NOT be touched by every stranger along the path – in the past, I've had to resort to telling people "She bites," (she never has) just so we can go on a peaceful walk. Why have I done this? Because people try to grab her without even asking or proceed to try to grab her after I ask that we be left alone. She shouldn't be forced into situations which make her uncomfortable, she's my friend and it's my job to help her feel safe. Cuba, my Saint Bernard puppy, is a teenager and does like to be touched but needs reminders on his manners frequently, so if you want to pet him, you may need to wait a few minutes while I make sure that he is standing at my side, on a loose leash, and not pulling to meet you. So if you want to greet someone's dog, ask; and whatever their answer is, respect it and don't take it personally because it's not intended in that manner. Most dog owners are not indiscriminate jerks, and if a person says, "no," there is likely a reason – the dog doesn't feel comfortable being touched by strangers, the person is in a hurry, the dog is working, the dog is in training, the dog may bite you. Dog owners are private property owners: if we treated dogs with the same respect we treated a Coach handbag, a lot fewer people would be bitten, dogs euthanized, and dog owners forced to deal with the stress of judgment for securing their dog's physical and mental well-being. Dogs Are Not Public Property. Groping a stranger's dog is like groping a stranger's wife – just NOT. COOL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizT Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 :laugh: The beginning of your story reminds me of a family outing to Healesville Sancuary 16 years ago, where a group of Japanese tourists went absolutely gaga over my blonde, then 3 year old daughter. Taking photos, touching her hair and generally being a bit too familar to the point of where I smiled and ushered my "becoming somewhat distressed" child away from the group. Are some things considered to be "public domain" by some cultures? I'm not sure. But I think the rule of thumb is "don't be overly familar with strangers. AND "Ask first". It isn't that hard. And I think 99% of the time people are happy for you to complement their dog, and fairly okay with you patting him, provided you ask first. If there is a reason they don't want you to touch (and there can be many legitimate ones) their dog at least you haven't embarrassed yourself or annoyed them by being inconsiderate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flashsmum Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Hear hear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tdierikx Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 :laugh: The beginning of your story reminds me of a family outing to Healesville Sancuary 16 years ago, where a group of Japanese tourists went absolutely gaga over my blonde, then 3 year old daughter. Taking photos, touching her hair and generally being a bit too familar to the point of where I smiled and ushered my "becoming somewhat distressed" child away from the group. Try being a blue-eyed blonde kid in some of the remote areas of Papua New Guinea... we got used to it... *grin* I love dogs - and would cuddle them all no problems - but I ask first... T. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bear&Duke Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 So very true. And as I'm finding out far worse when you have a cute cocker spaniel puppy! At least Bear is big enough now that most people think twice before charging up to us, but a puppy is 'fair game' apparently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atanquin Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 (edited) zorro gets random cuddles all the time!! Got pulled over for a random drug and alcohol test zorro was buckled in next to me and the 2 officers came over and asked if they could pat him lol because he was so cute!!! I understand people not wanting their dogs patted for many different reasons. I alway ask if Its okay to give the dog a pat. Oh well my crazy cocker loves strangers and looks so disappointed if someone ignores him and he will do a little cry. But that dosen't happen often I do find it hard taking him places sometimes tho because we don't get to far. Edited February 1, 2012 by Atanquin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minimax Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 90% of the time people ask if they can touch/cuddle/play with my pup and I never say no. They usually say how cute she is and move on, it's the ones who want to stop and chat about the pup that bothers me. Especially if I'm at a cafe having lunch/etc with someone, I think it's rude for someone to interrupt and it falls more into the "don't be overly familiar with strangers" than dog etiquette but it's still an invasion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizT Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 And...one the other foot...there are people out there...myself included...who don't really want your dirty pawed dog jumping up on me randomly...thanks anyway...especially in my white pants. ;) Although I always say..never mind...that's why the invented the washing machine. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizT Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 90% of the time people ask if they can touch/cuddle/play with my pup and I never say no. They usually say how cute she is and move on, it's the ones who want to stop and chat about the pup that bothers me. Especially if I'm at a cafe having lunch/etc with someone, I think it's rude for someone to interrupt and it falls more into the "don't be overly familiar with strangers" than dog etiquette but it's still an invasion. It's like I overheard a hairdresser say yesterday when asked what she does during her lunch hour by her client. Answer: "Well we only get half an hour so I eat, sit down and try not to talk to anyone!" I can see why these three things are very important to a hairdresser! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr.mister Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Great post! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emgem Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Great post! + 1 This has been a crazy summer for us. On top of the usual people approaching because he us cute, fluffy and bearded, we had people wanting to say hello to Snowy after the release of the Tintin movie and in the past couple of weeks have started to meet little girls who want to say hello to Sandy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kavik Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 I rarely have this problem Maybe people think GSDs and Kelpies look scary :laugh: Other dogs rushing us yes, but I don't get people gushing over them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeckoTree Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BettyPup Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 I see this happen way to much with my friend's chocolate Labrador. He has major people issues, but loves going on walks. I've managed to befriend him, but it freaks him out to no end when people go right up to him and start petting him. So far, I've only ever had one person want to pet Mikey, and she was polite enough to ask if her kids could pet him. The kids were wonderful too, Mikey adored it :3 There needs to be more respectful people out there, not ones who think they can touch or grab whatever they want. :C I'd probably bite them before Mikey, but still! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tdierikx Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 When I used to go out with my 2 older girls - black Rotti/Pittie and golden Lab - guess which one got all of the attention with random people just coming up and groping her? Luckily she actually loves being the centre of attention, but the other one would get a forlorn look on her face like she felt left out... *sigh* Funnily enough, the "friendly looking" girl will kill the other one given half the chance - so we don't go out for group walks any more. Personally, I reckon the Rottie/Pittie has the better temperament of the two, but most of the general public think Labs are all meant to be "safe" family pets and up for anyone to approach for a pat. I know different because mine has shown me what she's capable of if she really doesn't like something (ie. my other dog)... and I'm a lot more fussy about anyone or anything rushing up to her nowadays. Lots of people stare at my 3rd girl, and some will ask why she walks funny, and if she's friendly... sure she's friendly, and yes you may pat/cuddle her, she loves the attention... lol! As for the walking funny, she got a brain injury when she was really little and it has affected her movement, but not her happy go lucky nature... T. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grumpette Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 I use other peoples' interest in my dogs as an opportunity for socialisation and education, which is vitally important for my dogs, their breed and the general public. How else does the non-dog own community learn to accept dog ownership when all they get are negative reactions? It is much better to have them leave with a positive impression and a little bit more knowledge about responsible pet ownership. It only takes a few minutes and the impression can last a lifetime. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peace_Of_Mind Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 90% of the time people ask if they can touch/cuddle/play with my pup and I never say no. They usually say how cute she is and move on, it's the ones who want to stop and chat about the pup that bothers me. Especially if I'm at a cafe having lunch/etc with someone, I think it's rude for someone to interrupt and it falls more into the "don't be overly familiar with strangers" than dog etiquette but it's still an invasion. Well I always ask if I can pat a stranger's dog; firstly basic courtesy and secondly I want to be sure the dog doesn't bite my hand off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirty Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 I love when people want to pat my dogs. :) They rarely do though! Lol! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suziwong66 Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 i'm seriously considering trying to desensitise Wilbur to strangers on the street; mainly because everyone wants a pat, he gets lots of attention and eye contact and now thinks it's his right to lunge and approach anyone and everyone for a bit of loving. I would like to be able to walk down the street without him automatically veering to passers-by for attention. Most people ask for pats, some don't; i usually address those that don't. i'm wondering if he's less interested in people, then (hopefully) less people will be interested in him...probably not though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tdierikx Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 I use other peoples' interest in my dogs as an opportunity for socialisation and education, which is vitally important for my dogs, their breed and the general public. How else does the non-dog own community learn to accept dog ownership when all they get are negative reactions? It is much better to have them leave with a positive impression and a little bit more knowledge about responsible pet ownership. It only takes a few minutes and the impression can last a lifetime. *LIKE* T. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now