kezzzza Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 (edited) We have identified a new disease, probably caused by a virus among dog-owning people. It apparently has been in existence for a considerable time, but only recently has anyone identified this disease and begun to study it. We call it Acquired Canine Obsessive Syndrome (ACOS). At first, ACOS was considered to by psychological in nature, but after two young researchers here suddenly decided to become show breeders, we realized that we are dealing with an infectious agent. Epidemiologists have identified three stages of this disease and typical symptoms, listed below: Stage 1 - You have early symptoms if You think that any show within 300 miles in nearby You begin to enjoy getting up at 5 AM to walk and feed dogs It is fun for you to spend several hours a day grooming dogs You think you're being frugal if you spend less that $3,000 a year on shows You can't remember what it was like to have just one dog Stage 2 - You definitely have the disease if: Your most important factor when buying a car is how many crates you can fit in it When looking for a new home, the first thing you consider is how many dogs you can kennel on the property Your dog food bill is higher than your family's grocery bill You spend as much on veterinarians as you do on doctors You have no money because of showing dogs You have to buy more than one vehicle a year, because you keep burning out the 7-year or 70,000 mile warranty going to shows You have more pictures of your dogs than of your family Your idea of a fun vacation is to hit the show circuit Most of your conversations revolve around dogs Stage 3 - You have a terminal case if: You wake up in the morning to find out that you put the kids in the crates and the dogs in the beds last night You know each dog's name and pedigree, but can't figure out who that stranger in the house is; it turns out to be your spouse Your neighbors keep insisting that those kids running around your house bothering the dogs are yours You keep telling the kids to "heel" and can't understand why they won't, and why they keep objecting to the choke chain You cash in the kid's college trust fund to campaign the dogs You've been on the road showing dogs so long you can't remember where you live Your family tells you "It's either the dogs or us;" you choose the dogs Do you have this dreaded disease? Well, there is hope. In the course of our research, we have found that most cases seem to stop at Stage 2, and remain chronic. We have, with great difficulty, managed to acquire several Stage 3 ACOS patients. They are currently in our isolation wards, where we are studying them to gain a better understanding of this disease. It is a sad sight, seeing these formerly vibrant people as they shuffle around their rooms in endless triangle or L-patterns, making odd hand motions as if holding a lead and baiting a dog, and making chirping noises. Merely saying the word "Westminster" can send them into an uncontrollable frenzy. Unfortunately, there isn't much hope for these cases, but with time and research to further understand this disease, we hope to come up with a cure. We are no attempting to isolate the causative agent and may be able to develop a vaccine in the future. An interesting sidelight of this disease seems to be that exposure at an early age has an immunizing effect. Several people afflicted with ACOS at Stage 1 and Stage 2 have close family members (children/spouses) who have absolutely no disease. It is thought by some of our researchers that this may be due to environmental effects, to an age-related immune function, or to the fact that those with the disease tend not to associate with their close family members, possibly due to the memory deficit induced by the disease - that is, they don't remember they have close family members! What can you do to prevent this disease? Until a cure is found, prevention is the best measure. Avoid kennels advertising "show stock," since it may be the dogs that are the carriers of the disease. Leave town when there is a local show. If you inadvertently come into contact with an ACOS-afflicted person, leave as soon as possible (they do tend to cling) and thoroughly shower, preferably with a germicidal soap. If you are living with an ACOS sufferer, take comfort that if you haven't succumbed yet, you are probably safe. Author Unknown Edited January 21, 2012 by kezzzza Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KOE Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Stage 1 - You have early symptoms if You think that any show within 300 miles in nearby You begin to enjoy getting up at 5 AM to walk and feed dogs It is fun for you to spend several hours a day grooming dogs You think you're being frugal if you spend less that $3,000 a year on shows You can't remember what it was like to have just one dog Stage 2 - You definitely have the disease if: Your most important factor when buying a car is how many crates you can fit in it When looking for a new home, the first thing you consider is how many dogs you can kennel on the property Your dog food bill is higher than your family's grocery bill You spend as much on veterinarians as you do on doctors You have no money because of showing dogs You have to buy more than one vehicle a year, because you keep burning out the 7-year or 70,000 mile warranty going to shows You have more pictures of your dogs than of your family Your idea of a fun vacation is to hit the show circuit Most of your conversations revolve around dogs Stage 3 - You have a terminal case if: you wake up in the morning to find out that you put the kids in the crates and the dogs in the beds last night You know each dog's name and pedigree, but can't figure out who that stranger in the house is; it turns out to be your spouse Your neighbors keep insisting that those kids running around your house bothering the dogs are yours You keep telling the kids to "heel" and can't understand why they won't, and why they keep objecting to the choke chain You cash in the kid's college trust fund to campaign the dogs You've been on the road showing dogs so long you can't remember where you live Your family tells you "It's either the dogs or us;" you choose the dogs Do you have this dreaded disease? Well, there is hope. In the course of our research, we have found that most cases seem to stop at Stage 2, and remain chronic. We have, with great difficulty, managed to acquire several Stage 3 ACOS patients. They are currently in our isolation wards, where we are studying them to gain a better understanding of this disease. It is a sad sight, seeing these formerly vibrant people as they shuffle around their rooms in endless triangle or L-patterns, making odd hand motions as if holding a lead and baiting a dog, and making chirping noises. Merely saying the word "Westminster" can send them into an uncontrollable frenzy. Unfortunately, there isn't much hope for these cases, but with time and research to further understand this disease, we hope to come up with a cure. We are no attempting to isolate the causative agent and may be able to develop a vaccine in the future. An interesting sidelight of this disease seems to be that exposure at an early age has an immunizing effect. Several people afflicted with ACOS at Stage 1 and Stage 2 have close family members (children/spouses) who have absolutely no disease. It is thought by some of our researchers that this may be due to environmental effects, to an age-related immune function, or to the fact that those with the disease tend not to associate with their close family members, possibly due to the memory deficit induced by the disease - that is, they don't remember they have close family members! What can you do to prevent this disease? Until a cure is found, prevention is the best measure. Avoid kennels advertising "show stock," since it may be the dogs that are the carriers of the disease. Leave town when there is a local show. If you inadvertently come into contact with an ACOS-afflicted person, leave as soon as possible (they do tend to cling) and thoroughly shower, preferably with a germicidal soap. If you are living with an ACOS sufferer, take comfort that if you haven't succumbed yet, you are probably safe. Author Unknown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heroeswit Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 <3 Love it I'm not showing yet but I'm definitely stage 2 :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KOE Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 lol you fixed it while I was Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esky the husky Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 No symptoms here :D I'm still normal ( *cough* thanks to the old ball and chain ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Definitely late Stage 2, almost Stage 3 :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christina Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 That started my morning off with a smile Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bilbo Baggins Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Further complications. You get up earlier on the weekend than you do to go to work. You wake up on a day of no showing at usal time and cannot get back to sleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greyt Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 Further complications. You get up earlier on the weekend than you do to go to work. You wake up on a day of no showing at usal time and cannot get back to sleep. You will not allow any non-researched food into the dog's diet and feed only super premium.... while happily taking your kids to McDonalds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrappynsuzie Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dogfan Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 Good one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roguedog Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 too funny!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murve Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 I wonder if this also apply to Obedience/ Agility, sports Trialers :laugh: Ok I have changed a few words but I think might also sum up sports trialers But I think it is great :laugh: it has just made me start thinking I must be near Stage 2 Stage 1 - You have early symptoms if Getting up at day break do some training before the heat sets in during summer You think that any show/trial within 100 miles in nearby You begin to enjoy getting up at 5 AM to walk and feed dogs You can't remember what it was like to have just one dog Doing only a couple of trails in 1 year then when finally get a pass you are sussing out the next trials Keep buying new equipment ( leads, collars, tuggy toys etc) even sports coats Stage 2 - You definitely have the disease if: Your most important factor when buying a car is how many crates you can fit in it When looking for a new home, the first thing you consider is how many dogs you can kennel on the property Your dog food bill is higher than your family's grocery bill You spend as much on veterinarians as you do on doctors You have no money because of show/trialing dogs You have to buy more than one vehicle a year, because you keep burning out the 7-year or 70,000 mile warranty going to shows/trialers You have more pictures of your dogs than of your family Your idea of a fun vacation is to hit the show/trial circuit Most of your conversations revolve around dogs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whippetsmum Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 You greet strange children with "Wait"/"sit"/"Stay" and appropriate signal, and wonder why they don't respond. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murve Posted January 23, 2012 Share Posted January 23, 2012 You greet strange children with "Wait"/"sit"/"Stay" and appropriate signal, and wonder why they don't respond. :rofl: I do that, I must loosing it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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