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A Dog Getting Its Own Way


Bubitty
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So often I hear comments like "Oh she's got you trained" or "She's getting exactly what she wants"

Why is that a bad thing?

I LIKE the fact that I know what Bitty and Bubby want and the fact that I am able to provide what they want! What is wrong with making a dog happy for goodness sakes! Its not like if they ask for a game and get a game they will go out and eat little children!

I love the fact that Bitty loves frosting, Bubby loves truffle oil and they will nudge me and ask for a baked good on the cooling rack. I love the fact that Bubby will go to his bed, sniff his sheets and cry so I change his sheets (he doesn't like grubby sheets). To me its communication, another means of knowing something about my dogs.

Why on earth would you go out of your way to do what your dog doesn't like or to NOT provide them with something that makes them happy if it doesn't harm either of you.

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Are you for real? They will 'ask' for baked goods? Geeze Give my boy an inch and he would be taking a mile in a heartbeat! He does it already, learnt that if the baby gate isnt clicked shut properly he can just nudge it open and go sleep on the couch.

What you have desrcibed to me sounds like your describing children!

I dont go out of my way to not make them happy but making them happy isnt overly complicated either.

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Well you must be lucky. I could never do that with my bottomless pit. In saying that he has never bench surfed of stolen anything but given the chance I know he would.

TBH I would be saying the same thing about they have you right where they want you. Making dogs happy isnt a bad thing but your happy and my happy varies immensely :laugh:

Edited by spoilt lab lives here
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My guess, is while the dog is making decisions in a harmless setting, such as asking for cookies etc then you are setting the bar for the dog making decisions in situations when it's not cute. Such as ignoring a recall in the park (and yes, a strong reward history is vital, but sometimes the dog just needs to think 'hey, I better listen to the boss lady')

Some dogs are laid back, people can allow them to make all the decisions in the world and it never becomes a problem, but other dogs need much more boundaries and framework in their lives.

I personally love seeing my dogs work things out, it fosters intelligence. However some dogs with a strong rank drive just want to make ALL the decisions.

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So often I hear comments like "Oh she's got you trained" or "She's getting exactly what she wants"

That is such a compliment :thumbsup:

To me this translates into

- your dogs know how to ask questions and make a requests

- you understand what they are 'saying'

- being a loving 'parent' you agree

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I think it comes down to the dog/s and yourself, and what you want in your relationship with your dog. I don't think what you're doing is harmful your dogs, nor does it effect other people. People just think you're Nuts :p but if you're cool with that, then so be it.

My 2 are so good and so obedience that it's easy for me to spoil them. The better well behaved they are, the more they are allow to be involved in the activities I do. Eg, Camping, shows, lunches at cafes, road trips etc.

I love that Charlie has attitude, but he obeys me, he isn't destructive nor is he naughty. He just happens to bossy, grumpy fella that likes to voice in opinion on everything :laugh: Like you Bubitty, I love that that he communicates with me (it's really important that he does anyway.. there is a limited things he can do on his own).

Emmy is the sweetest girl :heart: She is so unbelievably good now that for her to put one paw wrong is out of her character, so if she wants something, I often give it to her too.

I do NILIF, ToT and other training with them... at the same time, they are still very spoilt.

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We like to let Dory think she has us trained. ;)

When she gets what she wants it's usually after she's done something for me. Even just a little something like sit, beg, high 5.

She does get cuddles when she 'asks' for them, but if I'm busy or not in the mood then she is rebuffed and she just wanders off till I'm ready. Otherwise she'd be a total pest 24/7.

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I agree Bubitty, my dogs mean everything to me, they aren't with us for long so I want to give them everything they want.

Obviously there's a line, my dogs will ask for things, for example Lilli will drop the ball at my feet, and most times I'll play fetch with her, if I don't have time, I put the ball away and that's the end of it.

They will ask for food, but if I say no, they won't push it.

My dogs are very spoilt and get what they want most of the time, but there is no bad behaviour that occurs alongside this so I don't see a problem. If I'm wrapped round their paws, then good for them, cause I'm happy :D

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You are teaching your dog to hassle you when you are cooking. Which might be fine until one day you have a very hot pan in your hands and you will be unable to stop your dogs pawing you and there could be a terrible accident.

It is also dangerous behaviour should you or your husband ever take medication around the dogs.

Your dogs do not need you to obey them to be happy, it's just an instinct they are following and it results in habits that most people find undesirable. While it obviously makes you happy and you love the attention, please don't think that you are treating your dog any better or more kindly than those that don't allow the behaviour.

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I wish someone would feed me baked goods and change my sheets! I want to come back as one of Bubitty's dogs in my next life! :laugh:

I think it depends on the dog too, if my dogs ask for something I usually ask for something from them first, like a trick etc.

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My 2 are so good and so obedience that it's easy for me to spoil them. The better well behaved they are, the more they are allow to be involved in the activities I do. Eg, Camping, shows, lunches at cafes, road trips etc.

I love that Charlie has attitude, but he obeys me, he isn't destructive nor is he naughty. He just happens to bossy, grumpy fella that likes to voice in opinion on everything :laugh: Like you Bubitty, I love that that he communicates with me (it's really important that he does anyway.. there is a limited things he can do on his own).

Agree with this. I love seeing my dogs happy and I will give them what they want, if they give me what I want first. So for baked goods, I would make them sit or do a trick or something before giving it to them. Which is no different to being pawed at, it's just a different trick and one that I asked them to do. If I asked for the same trick every time they would start doing it without me asking.

It's important for dogs to feel that they have control over their environment, such as sitting at doors gets you let outside, and doing tricks gets you attention (or lying quietly if that's what you want to reinforce, to the dog it's just another behaviour that has a predictable outcome). I noticed a huge increase in confidence when I started doing NILIF with my oldest dog which I got from a shelter. Suddenly she didn't have to wait for things to happen, she could make them happen.

And it doesn't work every time, sometimes they don't get what they want, but by reinforcing what I want, I get a happy obedient dog and the dog gets what it wants. Everyone wins and everyone's happy.

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So often I hear comments like "Oh she's got you trained" or "She's getting exactly what she wants"

Why is that a bad thing?

I LIKE the fact that I know what Bitty and Bubby want and the fact that I am able to provide what they want! What is wrong with making a dog happy for goodness sakes! Its not like if they ask for a game and get a game they will go out and eat little children!

I love the fact that Bitty loves frosting, Bubby loves truffle oil and they will nudge me and ask for a baked good on the cooling rack. I love the fact that Bubby will go to his bed, sniff his sheets and cry so I change his sheets (he doesn't like grubby sheets). To me its communication, another means of knowing something about my dogs.

Why on earth would you go out of your way to do what your dog doesn't like or to NOT provide them with something that makes them happy if it doesn't harm either of you.

I'm exactly the same with Honey too. :D

That's because she is generally such a good girl and will not throw a tanty if she doesn't get her way all the time. (IF ONLY my kids were as good! :laugh: )

BUT... In the case of Evie, my poor troubled previous dog, I absolutely could not behave that way. She needed to have consistently firm boundaries or she would become a real handful. I really noticed if I'd slacked off, her behaviour would take a dive, she'd become pushy, ignore me etc. Not what I needed with 2 small kids and a DA dog.

So my belief is that it depends on the dog. I am so much happier with our relaxed way of living with Honey rather than the strict, regimented life we had with Evie. Because of that, I probably do spoil her a little. :o :D

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I think it certainly depends on the dog. I am of very little value to my dog outside the house. Anything is more interesting to him than me. Ignoring his "requests" inside the home environment leads to a drastic improvement in how much he will respond to me outside. As I want control over his behaviour both at and away from home then he's not allowed to have to every whim fulfilled right when he wants it to be.

If you are still able to call the shots whilst permitting their requests and that works for you then I don't see a problem.

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Hope my dogs don't read this - or they are going to start asking me to put sheets on their beds :eek::rofl:

My dogs must do something for me first to get what they want. They know not to hound me while I am eating, and I never throw them food while I am eating or cooking as I don't want dogs hanging around being a pest. I've told my dad that the dogs are not to be thrown food either, but when he thinks noone is watching, he totally ignores my instructions for MY dogs and throws them (more so Millie) food when he is eating or cooking. So now Millie sits and watches him eat, and only him, because she knows who the one is that just gives her food. Whenever I am visiting and he is eating and she is watching, he will ask me to call her away. Now I refuse to. Told him it's his problem, he did it to her and himself. Gives me the :swear:

And yes my dogs are loved and are very spoilt! On my terms :)

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So often I hear comments like "Oh she's got you trained" or "She's getting exactly what she wants"

Why is that a bad thing?

I LIKE the fact that I know what Bitty and Bubby want and the fact that I am able to provide what they want! What is wrong with making a dog happy for goodness sakes! Its not like if they ask for a game and get a game they will go out and eat little children!

I love the fact that Bitty loves frosting, Bubby loves truffle oil and they will nudge me and ask for a baked good on the cooling rack. I love the fact that Bubby will go to his bed, sniff his sheets and cry so I change his sheets (he doesn't like grubby sheets). To me its communication, another means of knowing something about my dogs.

Why on earth would you go out of your way to do what your dog doesn't like or to NOT provide them with something that makes them happy if it doesn't harm either of you.

I'm exactly the same with Honey too. :D

That's because she is generally such a good girl and will not throw a tanty if she doesn't get her way all the time. (IF ONLY my kids were as good! :laugh: )

BUT... In the case of Evie, my poor troubled previous dog, I absolutely could not behave that way. She needed to have consistently firm boundaries or she would become a real handful. I really noticed if I'd slacked off, her behaviour would take a dive, she'd become pushy, ignore me etc. Not what I needed with 2 small kids and a DA dog.

So my belief is that it depends on the dog. I am so much happier with our relaxed way of living with Honey rather than the strict, regimented life we had with Evie. Because of that, I probably do spoil her a little. :o :D

Good point Dee. I think the way I am, I too would find it very hard to have a dog I had to be strict with! That said I have some friends who tell me I expect too much from my two and that I should never get a cat because I am too strict! :laugh:

My way of saying no is to give them a kiss and say "Not now munchkins" and off they go or "Bitty I could feed you this but you'd die and Dada would kill me"! :D

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I got told once my daughter was spoiled because I cooked her breakfast every morning. I actually thought feeding your kids a decent meal was part of good parenting.

My dogs are my world, I've already lost one prematurely and I would give anything to have him back so I can spoil him more.

My dogs all know the word "enough" and take notice of it.

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I love my dogs, but they know that if we are eating or preparing food, they can sit at a distance & watch, but that's all. We just ignore them & they get the hint & go away pretty quick. Most of the time, if they want something from me, they have to do something first, usually a sit or drop. Of course pats & cuddles are free if I am not busy & I don't put sheets on their beds either.....geee...wouldn't my BC pup have fun with those. As it is I have to make sure all matresses are removed from the beds each morning, or he would have them all pulled out around the yard in the mud & disembowled.

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