Why Wouldn't She Listen?

[GoldenGirl85]

MC, I can see that you want to do the very best for your family and pets, and thats great, you can learn a lot from this forum...but...if you have rats, please reconsider getting a ratting breed, I have a JRT, and I can guarantee that she would obsess over the area the ratties are kept, even if they are in a cage, these are very intelligent breeds and have a very keen hunting instinct, I'd just hate to see the worst happen. I love rats, they make an awesome pet..but while ever I have a ratting breed, I will never own a rat, its not worth stressing both animals (and myself) just trying to make it work, I could only imagine adding an autistic child

Agree - the smell of the rats alone would get mine worked up

Lol, mine gets worked up by looking at bugs around the lights...even if they're not moving, I'd hate to see her around pet ratties

[lilmisssascha83]

rastus froggy has suggested a good thing peruse the rescue sections on here.Most rescue folk are VERY conscientious and dogs from a reputable rescue are thoroughly checked and fostered in situations which include all sorts of things

A dog straight from the RSPCA or somewhere is an unknown quantity - both health and temperament -wise ..and you may not get what you are seeking.

I personally think an older dog, well used to kids, is MUCH less likely to chase/nip/growl, than a youngster.

I do hope you find the perfect dog for your family. I was going to suggest looking at the rescue sections as well. When I got my labrador last year from a rescue organisation they were very great with what I needed. The dog was fostered in a home that had kids and felines and other dogs. They told me all about her and then I went to meet her. I then was given her on a 2 week trial period to see if we were the right fit ( which we definately are)and also a document about her favourite things, foods, if she had any training etc.

Although they said she was good with kids, I would have to see that for myself as the kids weren't at the foster home when I met her. When I took her home for the trial period she was quickly introduced to a friends two year old. She was absolutely beautiful with it especially cause the two year old loves dogs and she just wanted to play with the dog. I watched the interaction carefully and she was just so lovely with her. I then have introduced her to my 3 year old niece who LOVES her to bits. My niece never comes to visit me, ( she always comes to visit the dogs LOL ) and she will play fetch etc with her. I watched that interaction closely too as I was worried the dog might be possessive over the toys as my niece wanted them all. Turns out she again was just brillant with her. Its like she just knew that. I have just had my friend over with her new baby. Now this is the first time my dog has been around a baby as far as I know. Again she was just a gem. I"m so proud of her. The baby cried a bit played with its toys ( she's just learnt to roll over) and Sasha was just brillant. Didn't take her toys, didn't run around the house. She greeted both my friend and the baby and then she just laid down at my feet. She is a 2-3 year old lab, so not a puppy puppy but still has enough playfullness and puppyness in her. Which is why I really needed to see her interact with children and I must say she has done soo well exceeding my expectations.

Rescue dogs I think would be an option you could explore. The lab rescue group I spoke to are just great. And they still are happy to answer any questions I may have. They really listened when I told them what I was looking for and they have delievered the most wonderful dog. I was initally asking them about this other dog but they thought this one would have been more suited to me and they couldn't have been more right.

I"m sorry the first breeder didn't listen to you and made you feel bad but I'm happy the second one did. I would explore the option of a rescue dog ( even if its not a lab, I"m lucky cause my Sasha is a little lab) and maybe explore your options a bit with assistance dogs. It may suprise you.

Good luck with your search though. I know you will find the perfect dog for your family.

[lilmisssascha83]

There is an organization called righteous pups which does work with placing therapy dogs with people who have a disability that falls into the autistic spectrum. Their website is Here

I have a very good friend who's son is severly autistic and she adopted a 'failed' guide dog into the family for him. The lab doesn't have the steady and calm nature going well enough to be trusted to be a guide dog but has the training and temperament to make him ideal for the situation he is in. If you wanted to research a larger dog I would suggest contacting guide dogs and assistance dogs Australia about adopting a 'failed' dog.

Also (slightly OT) you may really enjoy reading "a friend called Henry" by Nuala Gardner. It's a lovely book about a golden retriever that helps unlock an autistic boy's world.

Good luck!!!

Yep labs are great like that :-). I think this organisation is definately something to explore. Other great dogs are rotweillers. I grew up with them and I know some people are scared of their size or think they are dangerous but I have never had a bad experience with them. I think when I was 3 I thought they were horses and tried to ride ours. They were soo gentle with me and NEVER growled or snapped at me. Of course I was taken off it quick smart but the dogs were so patient. I would spend hours laying with them and probably annoying them and not one incident.

[rastus_froggy]

My first thought was like Aussielover said, maybe don't say that you want the dog for your son.

Can I ask why you would not say this if it is the case

The poster is telling the truth to the breeder/s which it should be, if she didnt tell it as it was and got on here later and said she actually got the dog for her son half of you would be up in arms that she didnt state tht in the beginning.

Maybe I should have worded what I meant better, perhaps it would be better to state that it would be a family dog who would be company for the whole family and she thinks this may be of benefit to his well being of her 3 year old son, as I am sure if you said that you wanted the dog for a 3 year old many breeders would see it as highly irresponsible as they may see it as you expecting them (the 3 year old) to be responsible for the dog.

[mita]

I think you're doing the right thing contacting organisations that specialise in placing dogs in special needs situations...each of which is different. So those organisations would want to hear what you have to say in order to make a match.

Best wishes. And good on you for making contact on DOL to work thro' the issues.

[raineth]

just wanted to add something they you might not have thought about...which is that if you choose to go with a different breed ( a breed that might have the qualities more suited to what you need) you can always get a mini foxie at another time when it suits your life better

You also said that you're worried that if you get a big dog you might have to return it if it doesn't end up suiting your situation... but that is just as likely if you get a mini foxie or a tentie - you might have to return because it turns out to not have the temperament qualities that make it suitable. Just thought I'd point that out

Dogs can do something for kids with autism that's like magic :)I truly hope you find the best companion.

[persephone]

Dogs can do something for kids with autism that's like magic

*nods emphatically*

[GoldenGirl85]

just wanted to add something they you might not have thought about...which is that if you choose to go with a different breed ( a breed that might have the qualities more suited to what you need) you can always get a mini foxie at another time when it suits your life better

You also said that you're worried that if you get a big dog you might have to return it if it doesn't end up suiting your situation... but that is just as likely if you get a mini foxie or a tentie - you might have to return because it turns out to not have the temperament qualities that make it suitable. Just thought I'd point that out

Dogs can do something for kids with autism that's like magic :)I truly hope you find the best companion.

Excellent points

I respect that you love Tenties and Mini Foxies, they're gorgeous dogs, but just because they might not be the 'right' breed now, it doesn't mean you can't get one in the future

[aussielover]

My first thought was like Aussielover said, maybe don't say that you want the dog for your son.

Can I ask why you would not say this if it is the case

The poster is telling the truth to the breeder/s which it should be, if she didnt tell it as it was and got on here later and said she actually got the dog for her son half of you would be up in arms that she didnt state tht in the beginning.

Maybe I should have worded what I meant better, perhaps it would be better to state that it would be a family dog who would be company for the whole family and she thinks this may be of benefit to his well being of her 3 year old son, as I am sure if you said that you wanted the dog for a 3 year old many breeders would see it as highly irresponsible as they may see it as you expecting them (the 3 year old) to be responsible for the dog.

The reason why breeders and foster carers get nervous when people say they want a dog for their kids is

1. because as RF said it is highly irresponsible and unrealisitic to expect a child to be the main carer

2. they may not actually want a dog themselves and are just getting one to appease the kids (what happens if/when the kids are no longer interested?)

3. they may have unrealistic expectations of the dog- not all are bombproof with kids, they are not all babysitters and some dogs are just downright unsuitable for a child's companion.

When we are talking about placing a dog with a special needs child, that may be more unpredictable than the average child- a responsible person would want the dog to be tested to be of a suitable temperament, something that is hard to pick in an 8 week old puppy.

Good on the OP for considering all options and advice

I think contacting a training organisiation is a great idea.

[moodychick]

What we are now looking at doing, is hopefully finding breeders in the area, of different dogs. We are hoping to take our family out to meet a few different kinds of dogs and pups, and see how we all respond, obviously we will be watching our son the most.

Seriously its not something we want to jump into! So i am going to contact any breeders i can find in the local area, and find out if they have pups or dogs, that we can come and just have a look at, and talk to them. See how our son and daughter behave around the dogs and pups, and see how they behave around our kids.

Hopefully the talking to breeders, and seeing how kids and dogs react together,will give us a better idea of what to look for.

Thanks again everyone, you have all be fantastic and helpful!

And i agree that dogs can bring out the best in Autistic kids! Just a matter of finding that right dog for our situation :D

[stellnme]

MC, please contact Aspect (Autism Spectrum Australia). They have a telephone number for information about autism children. I would have your son formally diagnosed first before you make any decisions about future pets. I have worked with children with Autism and ADD and I would recommend going in a different direction. Instead of getting an active pet, I would consider one to "calm" the child, perhaps along the lines of a CKCS. There is no doubt that Autism or any child on the spectrum benefits from the presence of a pet, but please choose wisely and perhaps wait just a little. Do your homework very well first and it can be beneficial. Please ask for advice from the relevant support groups. Good luck!

[GoldenGirl85]

What we are now looking at doing, is hopefully finding breeders in the area, of different dogs. We are hoping to take our family out to meet a few different kinds of dogs and pups, and see how we all respond, obviously we will be watching our son the most.

Seriously its not something we want to jump into! So i am going to contact any breeders i can find in the local area, and find out if they have pups or dogs, that we can come and just have a look at, and talk to them. See how our son and daughter behave around the dogs and pups, and see how they behave around our kids.

Hopefully the talking to breeders, and seeing how kids and dogs react together,will give us a better idea of what to look for.

Thanks again everyone, you have all be fantastic and helpful!

And i agree that dogs can bring out the best in Autistic kids! Just a matter of finding that right dog for our situation :D

Its so good to see that you're really wanting to do the right thing by everyone, so many times we get people start threads on here and then get all shitty and leave when they get advice they don't want to hear, good for you

Personally I think a CKCS would be a bit too 'sensitive' for an active child with autism, and you would be far fetched looking for a breeder that would consider that placement. Looking for a breed to 'calm' the child...perhaps a Grey? but those who know the breed a bit better might be able to advise further (just thinking of the existing pets here)

Edited October 2, 2011 by GoldenGirl85

[Shaar]

The thing that jumped out at me in your original post was that you wanted something to pick up and carry around. Kids carrying around dogs puts a lot of people off.

I think if you showed that the kids (especially your son) know how to behave around dogs, NEVER pick them up (a 3 year old should never be picking up a dog) and that you have taught them correct behavior around dogs I'm sure that would help a lot.

You have to remember as well judt because you want the dog to bond to your son doesn't mean it will. My partner really wants a dog that is "his" but no matter what we do while they are young they all attach themselves to me. And a couple of them just don't like kids in general, they ignore them.

Not trying to be a debbie downer, just being realistic. An adult, already kid-loving dog would be perfect.

[dancinbcs]

What we are now looking at doing, is hopefully finding breeders in the area, of different dogs. We are hoping to take our family out to meet a few different kinds of dogs and pups, and see how we all respond, obviously we will be watching our son the most.

Seriously its not something we want to jump into! So i am going to contact any breeders i can find in the local area, and find out if they have pups or dogs, that we can come and just have a look at, and talk to them. See how our son and daughter behave around the dogs and pups, and see how they behave around our kids.

Hopefully the talking to breeders, and seeing how kids and dogs react together,will give us a better idea of what to look for.

Thanks again everyone, you have all be fantastic and helpful!

And i agree that dogs can bring out the best in Autistic kids! Just a matter of finding that right dog for our situation :D

There has been some very good advice on here and you need to find the right dog within the right breed. In a lot of breeds the temperaments vary a lot and you need a bombproof, non-reactive, middle of the road dog for this situation. I too would advise against anything small enough for your son to pick up. When young children pick up puppies the puppy squirms, gets dropped and broken. Unless I am convinced that parents will be able to get their children under about 8 to sit on the ground to handle a puppy, I won't sell them one and my breed are 5-8 kgs at 8 weeks. Puppies are easily broken.

With most kids between 1 and 8 you need sturdy dogs that are too big for the child to pick up and even more so with an autistic child. Although you need an active dog, don't make the mistake of getting a hyperactive one. The child and dog will feed off each other's activity levels until both are out of control. Try for a more placid easy going dog that is happy to run and play but also likes to sit quietly. Keep in mind that even the most active puppies only play for a about an hour at a time before needing a few hours sleep.

[Purdie]

.My 16 year old son is High functioning Autistic.We got our late dog when he was 3 and a half;and his sisters were 5,7,and 9.She was 10 months old when we adopted her.She was an Irish wolfhound x bullterrier ,30 kilos.She was a calm dog, affectionate but not in your face all the time and that suited my son as he didnt like too much affection.He would pat her sometimes than that was enough.She would follow the kids around and just hang out and keep an eye on them.Trot after them on their bikes around the yard etc.She never knocked them over and was very gentle around kids of all ages.The kids would be the ones who sometimes ran into her and this never fazed her.I think a larger calmer breed would be good for your son at the moment.Look at a smaller one down the track when he has got used to a dog and how to behave with them.

Here is a link to an old thread about this same topic;

http://www.dolforums...istic-children/

The link works now.

Edited October 2, 2011 by Purdie

[Chris the Rebel Wolf]

MC, nice to see you exploring options for you and your little guy's new best friend Hopefully you'll be able to find just the right dog for your situation and family. I really wish my little guy Jayne was still around and we had lived a little closer to you, I think it would have been a great experience for you to meet one another. Jayne was my Jack Russell x Chihuahua, though to look at and nature wise, he was very much JR. He was a very sweet, loving dog who was equally at home lying on your lap all day or running around after his favourite ball. During his life I kept small birds and guinea pigs and while of course anytime they were out together they were all strictly supervised - I wouldn't have left them all in a room together all night or anything - he never hassled them at all. From a puppy, he was introduced to my small animals and birds and he accepted them as part of his pack. Once I recall one of my most active guinea pigs jumped out of his pen and I found him, Jayne and my big dog Zeke lying peacefully together under the rental house! I was {pleasantly] surprised that his training had held out that even unsupervised he hadn't even gone for them.

So even though he wouldn't have been the logical choice for me, he ended up being perfect, though of course I did heaps of socialization when he was a pup and reinforced his training all his life. Certainly naughty sometimes (we went through escapee periods, I had to strictly keep the fence JR proofed, and there was the digging episode when he was young) but he had the most willing, trainable nature. The reason I shared this story is just to highlight that with work, patience, and training, even a dog that wasn't recommended for my family situation, fit in perfectly well. I am hoping you will find one equally as perfect for you. I'm not trying to say 'Go for a Jack, or just expect any terrier breed to work' because it won't, of course, but you already know this, and that's why you're asking questions, which is great :D

My next advise really is for you to get as much exposure as possible to the dog breeds you are looking at, because it'll give you good experience to draw upon when you begin to meet puppies

Edited October 2, 2011 by Chris the Rebel Wolf

[Christina]

I see from your post that you have already had a small dog & a young child before your son was born & a cat so assume you know what you are doing & have some experience.

As your child has not been assessed yet it may turn out that he is not autistic. Hope that turns out to be the case. Many things including allergy can produce all sorts of symptoms.

I used to mind an autistic child several times a week from a few months old until he was almost 5. He was fantastic with dogs & all other animals too, much better than many children without his problem.

With a sensible parent some small dogs are fine with young children. Maybe choose a more robust breed with a bit more substance in build. Some are fragile & not suitable.

I would not go for an older/rescue dog. Nice thought but you have no guarantee of what is in their past. Ok for older children but I wouldn't chance it with a toddler.

The lady was entitled to her opinion so no point in getting upset.

You are probably feeling quite vunerable as you are so worried about your son. You know him best & sound sensible so you will sort it out.

[Muttaburra]

The thing about small breeds, especially Mini Foxies for example, is that sometimes they do have fine bones and are not so sturdy in consideration of interacting with a child under five years old that might be a bit clumsy (as many are).

So I can understand the concerns of any dog breeder (of small breeds) in this situation.

If you could extend yourself to a larger breed of dog, really, a golden retriever breed might be worth considering. They tend to be very affable, and sturdy with regards to children.

That is not to say that a suitable variant of a Jack Russell Terrier would not be a good match, in fact I own two JRTs that are almost bomb proof with children, it's just that not all small dogs are.

[GoldenGirl85]

The thing about small breeds, especially Mini Foxies for example, is that sometimes they do have fine bones and are not so sturdy in consideration of interacting with a child under five years old that might be a bit clumsy (as many are).

So I can understand the concerns of any dog breeder (of small breeds) in this situation.

If you could extend yourself to a larger breed of dog, really, a golden retriever breed might be worth considering. They tend to be very affable, and sturdy with regards to children.

That is not to say that a suitable variant of a Jack Russell Terrier would not be a good match, in fact I own two JRTs that are almost bomb proof with children, it's just that not all small dogs are.

Yes, we used to have a mini foxie X chi when we were kids....well, one day my little brother decided to see if she could fly off the trampoline, her leg snapped, thankfully my dad took her straight to the vet and had it fixed...needless to say, the dog was banned from going anywhere near the trampoline after that. I can only imagine that wouldn't have happened if we had a slightly bigger dog, that wasn't so easy to pick up...old Missy lived to the ripe old age of 15 too lol, hardy little thing she was

[Souff]

The thing about small breeds, especially Mini Foxies for example, is that sometimes they do have fine bones and are not so sturdy in consideration of interacting with a child under five years old that might be a bit clumsy (as many are).

So I can understand the concerns of any dog breeder (of small breeds) in this situation.

If you could extend yourself to a larger breed of dog, really, a golden retriever breed might be worth considering. They tend to be very affable, and sturdy with regards to children.

That is not to say that a suitable variant of a Jack Russell Terrier would not be a good match, in fact I own two JRTs that are almost bomb proof with children, it's just that not all small dogs are.

Yes, we used to have a mini foxie X chi when we were kids....well, one day my little brother decided to see if she could fly off the trampoline, her leg snapped, thankfully my dad took her straight to the vet and had it fixed...needless to say, the dog was banned from going anywhere near the trampoline after that. I can only imagine that wouldn't have happened if we had a slightly bigger dog, that wasn't so easy to pick up...old Missy lived to the ripe old age of 15 too lol, hardy little thing she was

Ah yes, the failed fliers ....

One young pup was hurled off the swing by a hyperactive pre-schooler and unfortunately connected with the edge of the concrete path on the way down. It went to God a few days later when the spinal damage was diagnosed.

Tragedy takes just a few seconds to happen and we cannot have our eyes on the kids for every second.

We cannot predict, but we do have a responsibility to protect.

Souff